“Yes. He convinced me to get in touch with Julia.”
“Because your son wants you to be happy. Listen to me, querida. Anyone who truly loves you will want you to be happy, okay?”
Maddie’s eyes filled with tears. “Well, I guess we’ll find out if my mother really loves me.”
◆◆◆
Anyone who truly loves you will want you to be happy. Maria’s words reverberated in her head and Maddie decided to stop by to see her parents. She had been ignoring her mother’s calls but she knew this couldn’t go on forever. She hadn’t seen them since she’d walked out of the restaurant two days earlier. Could it only have been two days ago?
Maddie was relieved when her father answered the door, hoping that his presence would help to keep her mother calm, as it often did. Her hopes were immediately dashed.
“Why haven’t you answered your phone when I call you?” Her mother’s angry voice came from within the house and she and her father looked at each other in silent communion.
“Be nice,” her father whispered as he always did when he knew Maddie was upset.
She inhaled deeply. “I’m tired of being the only one who’s nice,” Maddie responded quietly.
“Oh boy,” he said.
Maddie walked past her father until her mother came into view, wanting to keep him near for moral support, if nothing else. He rarely interfered, always assuming the role of mediator or referee, depending on one’s point of view.
Maddie hoped the slight internal vibration of nerves in her core were not visible to her mother. “Well, I will be respectful enough to answer your calls when you start being respectful enough to care about what I want.”
“I’m your mother!” Her mother’s voice was loud.
“And I’m your daughter,” Maddie answered in a calm voice. “Pushing strange men at me when I have asked you not to…”
“I didn’t know you were dating anyone,” her mother said.
“Not the point, Ma.”
“Who is it? And why haven’t you told me?”
“Because it’s none of your business!” Maddie silently berated herself for losing her cool and raising her voice. She couldn’t tell her mother who she was dating. Not yet anyway.
“I just want you to be happy.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “I am happy. I would be happier if you left me alone and let me live my life.”
“Why can’t you just tell me? I should know what’s going on in your life.”
“No, you shouldn’t because you never approve of anything I do…and criticize everything…and I’m tired of it…so tired.”
Maddie regretted her honesty for a brief moment as her mother looked stunned and hurt by her words. Maddie hated confrontation and she could feel her head throbbing.
“What do I criticize?”
Maddie shook her head. “Really? Where I work, where I live, the decisions I make about Gabe, my friends, you even criticized me for having fresh flowers in my house!”
Her mother shrugged. “It’s a waste of money.”
“In your opinion, not mine. That’s why I don’t tell you anything.”
Her mother actually looked like she was thinking about what Maddie had said, something that had never happened before. “Okay, I won’t say anything about flowers in your house.”
Maddie shook her head. “Wow, great, I can have flowers now.”
Her mother missed the sarcasm and seemed to be pleased with herself. Maddie sighed deeply and realized that her mother loved her, but she would never understand her, and she didn’t even know how to try to fix that.
◆◆◆
Sunday had turned out to be a warm day so Julia rolled up the cuffs of her sleeves when she got out of the car and walked toward the oversized and pretentious house belonging to her ex-husband to pick up their daughter. His family was one of the wealthiest in the area and when younger, Julia had aspired to live like they did, but she had never felt comfortable while living under this roof.
Eleanor’s father, Jason Tate, still ruggedly handsome, came out of the mingling crowd of his social gathering when he saw Julia walk in the front door and they greeted each other warmly as they always did with a light hug. Their mutual love for their daughter helped to keep things cordial between them and Julia was grateful for that. They made polite small talk for a moment before Jason informed her that he had last seen their daughter in the solarium.
Julia was not really in the mood to make polite small talk with anyone inside, so she decided to go back outside and through the extensive gardens to reach the solarium at the back of the house. It was the one thing she missed about living here, the meandering paths overflowing with flowers that led to garden sculptures and small fountains throughout the property. Julia inhaled the warm spring scents and thought about her morning, waking up with Maddie, how they had talked and laughed, how good it had been to be with her and how badly she wanted to see her again.
Julia walked slowly, enjoying the weather and the spring blooms of forsythia, azalea, and the peonies that she so loved. She stopped near a small fountain to check the surrounding blooms when she heard footsteps behind her. She turned to see her ex-husband striding toward her.
Jason smiled as he caught up to her. “Can we talk? It was too busy in the house.”
“Sure.” She nodded as she strolled slowly through the area, breaking off a stem of a blooming peony and inhaling its scent. She found Jason smiling at her.
“What?” She asked.
“You always loved this garden,” he said smiling.
She nodded. “Still do. It’s lovely. Something on your mind, Jace? Is Norie okay?”
He nodded. “Eleanor is wonderful except that her vocabulary is frightening and she’s much too self-assured. You're a great mother, Julia. I know I don’t tell you that enough.”
“Thank you, but it’s easy with Norie. She likes school, she likes to read and tagging along at work with me has made her comfortable around different kinds of people. She’s a joy, really.”
“You were a good wife, too, Julia,” Jason said.
Julia stopped, rather surprised by the compliment and wondering where her ex-husband was going with this. “Okay. Thank you.”
Julia wondered if Jason had forgotten that he had allowed some stray remarks from a friend about her flirtatious behavior convince him that she was having an affair. He had been foolish enough to accuse her and then had been insecure enough to hire a private investigator to follow her, even after her shocked and vehement denials. There had been no affair and when Julia had discovered she was being followed, the subsequent fallout had been the beginning of the end of their marriage. Julia tried to stay in the present and was surprised when she noticed his gaze run slowly over her body.
“Have you lost some weight?” He asked.
Julia felt herself stiffen at the comment. “Maybe…a little.” Jason had always preferred her to be on the thinner side, always commenting whenever she had put on a few pounds, as if she had needed him to point it out to her.
He nodded. “You look good…keep it up.”
Julia could not help but hear Maddie’s voice in her head, adamantly telling her that she did not need to lose any weight and how curvy and sexy she was. The thought of Maddie and not the compliment from Jason made her smile.
“Thanks.”
“I’ve always hoped, Julia, that we would somehow get beyond my past mistakes…and try again.”
Julia was surprised at the unexpected turn the conversation had taken. She had no idea that he still harbored romantic feelings for her or held onto any hope for a reconciliation. Her first reaction had been to laugh nervously, but she controlled that impulse and simply tried to deflect. “It’s water under the bridge, as they say.”
“Julia, would you ever consider…giving me another chance?”
Julia stared at his familiar and handsome face, stunned at the question. He was a good father and had been a fairly good husband until the end of their marri
age. She still felt a certain affection for him, but she knew that she no longer loved him and realized that she had never had the kind of connection with him that she already had with Maddie, had never wanted him with the same passion that she wanted Maddie. That recognition staggered her and she inhaled deeply to find her bearings before speaking.
Julia shook her head. “I think we both know that ship has sailed Jason, but I’m flattered.”
Jason leaned in for a close hug and Julia allowed it, knowing she had, at the very least, hurt his feelings. His rough cheek reminded Julia of how soft Maddie’s skin felt, and the sharp scent of his cologne reminded her of how clean and fresh Maddie always smelled. She pulled away from him and the uncomfortable situation and quickly hurried into the house through the solarium door, leaving him alone in the garden.
Julia heard the joyful and familiar notes of her daughter’s giggle and spotted her talking to a group of adults in Jason’s social circle. Eleanor spotted her and politely excused herself before hurtling toward Julia.
Julia bent to hug her close, grateful that her daughter still allowed these public displays of affection. “Hey, kiddo.”
“Hi, Mom. Did you see Dad? He wanted to talk to you.”
“I did, and we talked. Are you ready to go?”
It was not until they were in the car that Eleanor asked the tough question. “Are you and Dad getting back together?”
Julia tried to maintain her calm façade. “No, of course not. I would tell you something like that. Why would you ask me that?”
“I heard Auntie Linda tell Daddy that he should beg you for forgiveness instead of wasting time with his latest bimbo. What exactly is a bimbo?”
Julia pressed her lips together hard to prevent herself from laughing. “Well, it’s really not a nice word, Norie, so maybe you shouldn’t repeat it. Obviously your Auntie Linda is not happy about someone your Dad is spending time with.”
“Yeah, I know. Her name is Sally. Auntie Linda said Dad would never find another Julia and then she called Sally a gold digger. I know what that means.”
Julia pressed her lips together again and reminded herself to call her former sister-in-law to thank her and to warn her about Eleanor’s eavesdropping abilities. On second thought, maybe she would leave out the part about the eavesdropping.
“Who is Sally exactly?” Julia asked.
“Dad’s new girlfriend. She smells like hairspray and is really skinny. Auntie Linda keeps telling Dad to feed her before she passes out.”
Julia smiled. “Maybe you should stop listening to other people’s conversations.”
“I’m not! They leave the door open or talk right in front of me! Dad keeps calling Sally his ‘friend’. I’m 13, but I’m not deaf…or stupid.”
Julia pulled into the driveway of her home and put the car in park, killing the engine. “No, you most certainly are not.” Julia thought of her situation with Maddie and realized she needed to tell Eleanor about it. “So, Norie, if I met someone I really liked and wanted to start dating, you would want me to tell you, right?”
Eleanor’s gaze was intense. “Yes, I would want you to tell me right away. Have you been dating?” Her voice was quiet.
“No, not technically.”
“What does that mean, Mom?”
“It means that I had no intention to date anyone, but I met someone I liked. I thought we would just be friends so when we had dinner together, it wasn’t a date, but now I think I want to be…more than friends.”
“Why did you just want to be friends at first and why do you want to be more than friends now?”
Julia hesitated, trying to think of the proper approach to take with this. “At first, it was because I didn’t consider…this person…suitable for me to date.”
Eleanor looked confused as she contemplated the possibilities. “Why not?”
“Well, because this person is a girl.”
Eleanor’s eyes widened. “A girl? Mom, you like a girl?”
“I think I do, yes, but since I’ve never actually liked a girl before, I obviously thought we’d just be friends.”
“But now you like her like her?”
“Yes, now I like her like her,” Julia said.
“Like Ms. Finley likes Ms. Lucci?”
Julia smiled. Ms. Finley was Eleanor’s physical education teacher and Ms. Lucci was her art teacher. It was rumored that they were dating. “Yes, like that.”
Eleanor frowned. “Does she look more like Ms. Finley or Ms. Lucci?”
Ms. Finley dressed in track pants and sneakers and her short blond hair added to her boyish look. Ms. Lucci had shoulder length brown hair and wore dresses. “A bit more like Ms. Lucci. Are you okay with…if I started dating…a girl?”
Eleanor nodded. “If she’s nice to you then you can. What’s her name?”
“Her name is Madalena, but I call her Maddie.”
“Can I meet her?”
“If and when we decide we’re getting serious about each other.”
“Why not now?” Eleanor frowned.
Julia sighed. “Well, because if it doesn’t work out, it will be hard not to see her anymore, for me and for you, too.”
Eleanor thought for a moment. “Okay, but you need to keep me posted until then. I want to know everything.”
Julia smiled at her youngest. “Of course you do.”
◆◆◆
Maddie was gazing out the window watching the colors of the sunset when she realized her son had stopped watching the baseball game on television and was simply watching her. She smiled at him. “What?”
“Did you have a nice time with Julia?”
Maddie felt herself blushing. “Yes.”
Gabriel snorted at his mother’s embarrassment. “Yeah, I can tell.”
Maddie closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead. “I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable.”
Gabriel gently nudged his Mom. “Not as uncomfortable as it’s making you.”
Maddie opened her eyes and found her son smiling at her. “So…you’re okay with this?”
He shrugged. “Sure. I want you to be happy, Mom. She makes you happy, doesn’t she?”
“Yeah, I think Julia is pretty wonderful.”
“Good, because you’re going to owe Tia Maria big time. According to Michael and Laney, she’s been avoiding almost constant phone calls from Vovó asking about your ‘new boyfriend’.” He made quotation marks with his fingers.
Maddie sighed. “I went to see your grandparents earlier today. Your grandmother just doesn’t see how intrusive she is, how judgmental. I tried to talk to her but she simply does not understand me. I guess that’s only fair, since I really don’t understand her.”
“You can’t just tell them that you’re seeing a girl?”
“I will have to tell them eventually. I think your grandfather will be okay but not your grandmother. She’ll never accept it, never be okay with me being with Julia.”
“How do you know?”
“You know my cousin Jamie? Well, when he came out, Uncle Manny disowned him and your grandmother said she couldn’t really blame him.”
“That’s why they don’t speak?”
“Yeah, it’s ridiculous but Jamie is excluded from some family invitations now.”
Gabe rubbed his hands on his knees and swallowed deeply. “Would you ever…what if I…what would I have to do for you to disown me?”
The question stunned Maddie for a moment before she recovered. “Nothing.” She pulled her son in for a firm hug. “There is nothing you could ever do that would make me disown you, Gabriel, don’t even worry about it.” Gabriel hugged her back for a long moment and when she felt his deep inhalations, she suspected he was trying not to cry. “You are my son and I love you unconditionally. That does not mean I don’t expect you to study hard, clean your room and to not play video games all the time. Understand?”
She heard Gabriel’s relieved laugh as he pulled away, wiping his eyes. She waited until his
gaze met her own and she smiled at him. “Speaking of?”
He rolled his eyes at his mother. “I already did my homework and folded my laundry and put it away.”
Maddie smiled. “Thank you.”
◆◆◆
That evening, Julia sat on her back deck and watched the calm water of the inner harbor glisten with the last rays of the late day sun as it dipped near the horizon. Her phone chirped and she smiled at the display, thrilled to see Maddie’s name on her phone. “Hello, beautiful.”
“Hello yourself.” Maddie’s voice was quiet.
“What are you wearing?”
Maddie’s surprised laugh made her shiver. “Flannel lounge pants and a t-shirt that says ‘Well behaved women rarely make history.’”
Julia laughed. “That sounds like you.”
“Does it?”
“Yes, politely defiant,” Julia said.
“That’s actually…uncannily accurate. What are you doing?” Maddie asked.
“Watching the water from the back deck and sipping a fabulous glass of Riesling.” Julia said quietly.
“God, that sounds like heaven.”
“The wine or the view?”
“Being there with you.”
Julia smiled. “I wish you were here and I’m so glad you called me. I’ve wanted to talk to you just to share things that have happened today.”
“I’ve wanted to talk to you, too. So tell me now…what’s going on.”
Julia smiled as she started to share the conversation she’d had with Norie and a previous conversation she’d had with her friend, Deb.
“Do you have any idea why Deb thinks you’ve won a toaster oven?” Julia asked.
Maddie laughed, the sound warming Julia. “Watch the Ellen episode…the one where she comes out.”
“Okay, I will. So…tell me what you’ve told Gabriel.”
Julia stretched out, sipping her wine as she listened to Maddie share her life with her, things about her son, about a movie she had seen. Julia was still amazed at how easily they talked and she wondered if the sexual chemistry was coloring these interactions or if these interactions were contributing to the overwhelming attraction between them.
Maddie paused. “I could talk to you all night, Jule, but I have to go.”
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