Surrendering to Us

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  Lucah thought about that for a second.

  “I’ll talk to her. I’m sure she’s not doing anything, but if it’s making you uncomfortable, it needs to be addressed.” And that was why I didn’t tell him.

  “No, no. Don’t. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it, which was why I didn’t tell you in the first place. You don’t have to hop on my crazy train and ride it to the station. You asked what was bugging me, I told you. Doesn’t mean you have to do something about it.”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  “That’s what I want.”

  He sighed.

  “Okay. Then that’s what we’ll do. This concludes the sharing portion of our evening, and now we shall commence with the lovemaking.” Oh thank God. I liked that part much more than the sharing. Even though I’d pretty much asked for the sharing. The sex part was so much easier. He knew my body and I knew his and we gave and took and it was almost always perfect.

  And then sleep. Sleep was the second best part, but it was made better by the sharing, I had to admit. I’d read somewhere that a clean conscience made a soft pillow, or something along those lines.

  God damn if it wasn’t true.

  Sloane continued with her recovery, and it became a source for me to tease her about at every chance I could. Even Ryder teased her, but she didn’t get as mad at him as she got at me when I teased her. Probably because I didn’t have a penis, giant biceps and tattoos.

  “You all can just shut up,” she said at dinner the next night. “Like you’ve never done anything stupid, Miss Rory. I could tell Lucah all kinds of stories if I wanted to. But I’m an adult and I keep those things to myself.” It was true. She had tons of dirt on me. That threat was all it took to shut me up.

  “I shall never tease you again,” I said with my hand over my heart.

  “You’re so full of shit,” she said, throwing her napkin at me.

  “Only sometimes.”

  The tension from the night before was gone. So the stupid sharing had worked. I felt closer to Lucah, and he was much more affectionate and real.

  “So did Marisol text you today?” Sloane said. I pulled out my phone and realized that she had, asking me if I wanted to be part of a charity dinner she was throwing. You paid like a bazillion dollars for a plate and then a bunch of chefs would cook and they usually had a comedian and a band. I’d done a few of them before, and they’d been fun, but I hadn’t had Lucah with me then. I’d brought Royce to a few and he had abandoned me for the bar, and sometimes the female bartender. Douche.

  “So are you going to go?” she said after I’d read the text.

  “I don’t know. I don’t think I could go alone and unescorted. I must have a man. But where could I find one?” I pretended to search the room before grabbing Lucah’s arm.

  “Found one! You’ll do.” He looked at me as if I’d lost my senses.

  “I’ll do for what?”

  “Marisol is having a charity dinner. You pay, you eat, you dance, you try to make small talk. It’s a good time.”

  Lucah still looked skeptical.

  “It’ll be like the Company Ball. Only with the best of Boston society,” I said.

  “What’s the charity?” Lucah said.

  “Um, Cystic Fibrosis,” I said, reading back the text. “Come on, it’ll be fun. Sloane will make me a fabulous dress and I’ll get to see you in a tux and we’ll dance the night away. Don’t you want to dance with me?” I was really laying it on thick.

  “Very well played, Sunshine. You know I can’t say no to you in a dress with the option of getting to dance with you.”

  “So you’ll go with me?” He rolled his eyes as if it was a huge inconvenience and I was really putting him out.

  “I guess.” I poked him in the chest. “Yes, Miss Clarke, I would be happy to escort you.” He kissed my hand and then twirled me around. Sloane sighed audibly.

  “I’m guessing you also want to go,” Ryder said.

  “Maybe,” Sloane said, sensing where he was taking this. “If I had someone to take me.” She sang the last part.

  “Sorry, I don’t know anyone like that.” He went back to finishing the slice of blueberry pie Sloane had made. She waited for him to tell her he was joking, but he didn’t.

  “Ryder?” Lucah said, trying to give him a hint.

  “Yes, big brother?” Ryder played innocent. Clearly, he wanted to make a production before he actually asked her.

  “You’re being a dick,” Lucah said, pulling me onto his lap.

  “Why? What did I do?” Oh, he was good.

  “So, I guess I’ll be seeing the two of you at the event? I’ve decided to go by myself. Some people just can’t handle my fabulousness.” Sloane flipped her long dark hair over her shoulder and turned away from Ryder.

  “You got that right,” I said, giving her a fist bump.

  “Fuck, okay. I’ll take you.” Ryder caved only seconds later. I knew he would. He liked her too much.

  “No way. You had your shot. That offer has closed. You’re done.” But I knew she would change her mind. She liked him too much.

  After some more back and forth, Sloane agreed to go with Ryder, but it was like pulling teeth.

  “So when is this thing?” Ryder asked.

  “Uh, in a few weeks. So there’s enough time to make dresses,” I said to Sloane and she had that maniacal gleam in her eye that she got when she got to design something new. I knew she wanted to leave ASAP so she could go back to her place and start sketching out ideas.

  “Plenty of time.”

  “You’re really excited about this,” Ryder said, staring at Sloane. He’d obviously never seen her in designing mode. It was something to watch.

  “There’s nothing that excites Sloane more than the opportunity to design something new. Especially a dress. Have you seen the ones she made for the Company Ball?” I got out my phone and pulled up some pictures.

  “You made that?” Ryder said to Sloane as I showed him my dress. I still got shivers every time I saw it. Part of me wanted to just wear that one again, but then another part wanted to see Lucah’s face when I put on a different dress. It would be well worth it, and Sloane would never let me wear the same dress twice. That was a cardinal sin.

  “I did. I could make you some jeans, you know. I don’t just do dresses and lingerie.” She winked and he didn’t say anything for a moment. “I could probably whip you up some tomorrow. Stand up.”

  I was actually surprised that Ryder hadn’t been subjected to having his measurements taken yet. What had she been waiting for? When she pulled a tape measure out of her bra, Ryder’s eyes popped just a tiny bit.

  “What else do you have in there?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She took his measurements quickly and efficiently.

  “Don’t, you, uh, need to do the inseam?” he said with a gleam in his eye.

  “No. And get your mind out of the gutter.” She stood up and patted the top of his head. “Good boy. Now if we could just get you to shut up, then you would make a good mannequin.”

  Ryder pretended to be offended, but he definitely wasn’t.

  “Have you been through this?” Ryder asked Lucah.

  “As soon as Rory and I became official. It’s a right of passage.” Joking aside, it really was.

  Sloane rolled her tape measure back up and put it back in her bra, which Ryder watched her do intently.

  “Come help me with the dishes?” she said, grabbing a few plates and heading for the door. She looked over her shoulder at him and he grabbed some more plates and followed her without saying a word.

  “He likes her. A lot,” I said once the door shut behind them.

  “Yes he does. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so willing to do chores before. Ever. Do you think they’re sleeping together?”

  I shook my head.

  “No. If they were, Sloane would have told me.”

  “Are you sure? She knows that you don’t really appr
ove.”

  “It wouldn’t matter. She’d never keep something like that from me. She wouldn’t be able to. Trust me.”

  That was one thing Sloane would not be able to hide or lie about.

  “Well, I hope they hold off. I don’t think it would be the best thing for Ryder to get involved with someone right now. And what if it goes south? That could set his treatment way back and I don’t think any number of sessions with the farting therapist would be able to fix that. At least not for a long while.” I agreed, but what would happen was going to happen. Whether we wanted it to or not. I told Lucah as much.

  “You’re right. You’re right.” We got the rest of the dishes together and took them over to Sloane’s. She and Ryder were chattering away and he was asking her questions about her designs and how she got into fashion and she was babbling like crazy, but he was interested. He was listening to her. Ryder listened to Sloane as if she was talking about the most fascinating thing he’d ever heard. His eyes watched her lips, and she kept using her hands and laughing, and he laughed with her. She touched his shoulder, he pulled some lint from her shirt.

  I had to stop watching because I felt like a voyeur. That must be why people looked away when Lucah and I were together. We probably did the same thing.

  When the dishes were done, Lucah, Ryder and I sat on the couch and watched a movie while Sloane worked on my dress design. She wanted to do mine first and then model hers off mine. A better friend you couldn’t find. Not even if you went all around the world.

  “So this is what I’m thinking,” she said a few minutes later, holding it up for everyone to see. Sloane’s drawings were always like those of the classic designers, making me look tall and glamorous.

  The dress was strapless, full length and form-fitting until it got to the skirt.

  “So it’s like the back is pulled around to drape, and then it’s gathered at your hip, and there’s the ruffled edge all along this side. I’ll fold the fabric to make it look even better. I’m thinking red, for the color.” Of course red.

  “It’s fucking fabulous,” I said, giving her two thumbs up. I couldn’t wait to see a mock up of it.

  “I can’t wait to see it crumpled on my floor,” Lucah said, studying the dress.

  “I swear, if I ever hear you say that again, I will take drastic measures,” Sloane said with a death glare.

  “You could make that?” Ryder said. He still didn’t seem to get how talented Sloane was. Or maybe he just needed to see it in action.

  “Yeah. I can make anything.” She put emphasis on the last word.

  “I like red,” Lucah said, rubbing my arm.

  “I know you do,” I said.

  “Okay, so if you’re going with red, then I think I might go with gold. Or purple. Definitely not green or blue. And I don’t think silver would look good.” She continued to mutter to herself about colors and so forth. I was used to her doing that, but Lucah and Ryder looked at her as if she was talking crazy.

  “This is what she does,” I said to them as Sloane got up and floated back to the spare bedroom she’d converted into her design room, complete with a dress model, sewing machine and light table for her to sketch on.

  “She’s focused.”

  “Huh,” Ryder said, glancing at the room Sloane had disappeared. “I can’t wait to see it. I could definitely use some new jeans.” He picked at a hole in the pair he was wearing.

  “I offered to buy you some more,” Lucah said, pointing to the pants.

  “I don’t need you to buy me jeans. And if she’s going to make them, then why not? Then a bunch of starving children in Bangladesh don’t have to.”

  “He does have a point,” I said. He’d know exactly where those jeans came from and who had made them.

  “Are the two of you ganging up on me now?” Lucah said, looking from me to Ryder and back.

  “No. I’m just saying he has a point. You never really know where your clothes come from unless you see them made,” I said. It was the clothing equivalent of buying from a local organic farm.

  “Okay, okay. I get it.” Lucah settled into the couch and pulled me so I was resting against him.

  We went back to watching the movie, but I could feel Ryder’s attention being drawn back to the room with Sloane. It was only a matter of time before he got up and walked as quietly as he could to her room and closed the door behind them.

  “That was subtle,” Lucah said in my ear.

  “He likes her.” He nodded, bumping his chin on my shoulder as he started twirling his fingers through my hair.

  “You can’t keep two people apart who want to be together. No matter how hard you try. Or how much they could lose by getting caught having sex in the office,” I joked.

  “I see your point, Sunshine. I’m doing better about it, aren’t I?”

  “Yeah, you didn’t glare at Ryder for talking to Sloane and you haven’t tried to keep them apart. I’d say you’re doing good.”

  “Thanks. That means a lot from you.”

  “Why does that not sound like a compliment?” I said, turning to look at his face.

  “It is a compliment. I value your opinion more than anyone else’s. Even more than my own. You’re one of the smartest people I know.” I bit my lip because his opinion happened to be the one I most trusted.

  “Same to you, Mr. Blythe,” I finally said. “Same to you.”

  “Thank you, Miss Clarke.”

  The movie ended and Ryder was still in Sloane’s room. Lucah and I debated about what to do.

  “Maybe we should just make a ton of noise. They’ve probably forgotten that we’re out here,” I said. Lucah motioned for me to move, so I climbed off him and he stood up.

  “They’ve been awfully quiet in there.”

  We both inched toward the door, as if it had one of those signs warning that it had hazardous nuclear material on the other side.

  I didn’t hear a thing until there was a peal of laughter from Sloane, joined shortly by Ryder’s chuckle. Laughter was good. That probably meant they weren’t having sex. Not that I thought that Sloane would have sex with Ryder while we were sitting in the living room. And definitely not until she had modeled at least five different lingerie combinations for me and had me vote on which one she looked best in.

  Sometimes Sloane took sex seriously, and sometimes she didn’t. This was going to be one of those serious times.

  Lucah looked at me for an idea of what to do, and I shrugged so he knocked on the door. The laughter abruptly cut off.

  “Yeah?” Sloane said, and then the door opened. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that they were both fully clothed.

  “What are you doing in here?” I asked peering in.

  Sloane looked at me as if I’d asked her something outrageous.

  “Just talking. And I was drawing some stuff.” Her light board was covered in drawings, and at first glance I could see that they weren’t all fashion designs.

  “Just talking,” Ryder reiterated, holding his hands up as if to show us that there was nothing in them, including any of Sloane’s body parts. They did have quite a bit of space between them.

  “I’m not accusing anyone of anything,” Lucah said.

  “Neither am I. You were just gone for a long time and the movie ended and we came to see what you were doing. That’s all. No judgment.” I mirrored Ryder’s gesture.

  “There is a lot of tension in this room and there doesn’t need to be,” Sloane said. “Okay, I think it’s time to call it a night, yes?” Everyone else agreed so the Blythe brothers and I trooped back to our place.

  “So you’re not going to give me the third degree?” Ryder said the second the door closed.

  “No, I wasn’t planning on it. Do I need to?” Lucah said, leaning against the kitchen counter as Ryder went and hopped over the back of the couch.

  “Nope. I kept my hands to myself and everything. Do I get a gold star?”

  “How old are you?” Lucah said.


  Ryder didn’t answer, he just turned on the television. I thought about calling it a night and heading for the shower, but instead I went and stood next to the couch and motioned for Ryder to move his feet so I could sit down.

  He raised an eyebrow, and I was reminded so much of Lucah I almost started to laugh, but he did move his feet and I sat down.

  “Whatcha watching?” He shrugged and kept flipping the channels. He never seemed to want to pick something and stay on it. “Well the first step of watching something is picking something to watch.”

  “I know how to use a remote, thank you,” he said.

  “Well, clearly, you don’t,” I said, diving forward and snatching the remote from his hand.

  “Hey!”

  “Uh, my remote, my television. I win.” I waved the remote in front of him and he just glared.

  “Let her have this. Women are unbearable when they lose control of the remote,” Lucah said, and I was reminded of a conversation we had that very first night we spent together. Back when I thought I could get him out of my system in one night. What an idiot I’d been back then. I would never get him out of my system, and I didn’t want to. He was the one disease I’d want to suffer from.

  “Hey now. No ganging up on Rory,” I said glaring at the pair of them. It was fun when Ryder and I ganged up on Lucah, but it was the opposite when the boys ganged up on me.

  “Wow, I didn’t think you were ever going to take your head out of her ass,” Ryder said to Lucah.

  “What?” Lucah and I said at the same time. I forgot about the remote.

  “Whoa, calm down. I’m only stating fact. I can’t point out the fact that you are so fucking whipped that you have a fucking ottoman in your house. And throw pillows and all this girly shit around.” Ryder gestured to the apartment. Honestly, things were a lot more girly when I lived with Sloane. We had JUST been in her place. Had he not looked around?

  “So what if I’m fucking whipped? What is so wrong with that? That I love the woman I’m with? You have some fucked up values, Ryder.” Lucah shook his head.

  “Nothing wrong with it, nothing at all.” His tone left a lot to be desired in the sincerity department. Lucah went from pissed one minute to smirking the next.