by Susie Tate
I looked away from his piercing stare. My heart was still hammering with the adrenaline spike of my anger and I didn’t trust myself not to give anything away.
“Listen, I’ll stay away from Teddy from now on so you don’t have to worry.” I took a step back towards the house but he came after me, his large hand encasing my forearm to halt my retreat.
“Why Taekwondo, Mia?”
“It’s none of your business,” I yanked my arm out of his grasp and took another two steps away from him.
“Mia, I can help you if you’d–”
I had had enough.
“Nobody can help me,” I said, my voice hoarse with pent up anger. “You think you know what you’re talking about but you have no idea what I’m up against.”
“That’s because you won’t tell me.”
It would be so tempting to unload everything onto Max. But if he knew it all there was no way I’d be staying in his house. No way I would have a job in his company. If he knew everything I’d done he would want me as far away from him as possible and I needed this small piece of respite before I moved on.
I kept my mouth shut and fled back into the house.
It was only when I was in the safety of the wardrobe that I let myself cry.
Chapter 17
Safe from what?
Mia
The realisation that Max thought I was capable of supplying drugs to his stepson galvanised me into action. My cough was improving and I’d managed a full night’s sleep, albeit in the wardrobe (I still wasn’t fully happy with the exposure of the windows – the confined space felt safer). So, now that I was stronger I had decided it would be best if I found somewhere else to stay. Teddy was right – the last thing he needed was a strange woman in his home when he was trying to revise for his exams. I’d already phoned the refuge and been told they had a room. They asked if I minded that it was ‘a bit basic’. After living on the streets, basic was the least of my worries.
I’d written Max a note thanking him for everything and left it on the kitchen counter. The only problem with my plan was that I’d realised I couldn’t work the electric gates or set the alarm, so I resigned myself to waiting for Teddy. When he arrived home, I resisted the urge to run out of the gates like a madwoman without explaining anything to him – he thought I was weird enough already. I waited in the hallway, one hand stroking Rodger’s soft head and ear fur to calm my nerves.
“Hey!” I said with a forced smile when the door opened. Teddy gave me one of his trademark scowls and a chin lift.
“I’m leaving today,” I blurted out as he stalked past me in the direction of the kitchen. Every day, Teddy consumed an entire loaf of bread after school, either as toast or in sandwich form. I caught him drinking tea with it too, the ‘tea-stunts-your-growth’ lying toad. He paused outside the kitchen door and turned back to me.
“Oh? Max never said.’
“I haven’t exactly told Max,” I said. “But I think it’s best all round. I get the feeling I may have outstayed my welcome just a touch.”
Teddy shifted on his feet looking uncomfortable for moment.
“You don’t have to go,” he muttered.
“It’s fine, Ted. You’ve both done me a massive favour, but I’m stronger now so really it’s right that I move on.”
“Maybe I should call Max–”
“No,” I cut him off. Max didn’t believe I was even strong enough to make scrambled eggs at the moment. I doubted he’d approve of me moving out just yet – even though I knew it would be a massive relief to him. “All I need to know is how to open the gate. And I didn’t want to leave without setting the alarm. I can call a taxi.”
“I’ll drive you,” offered Teddy. He’d dropped down to give Rodger a rubdown whilst the dog licked his face as if they’d been separated for months. Rodger might tolerate me now to a reasonable non-growly level, but he loved Teddy.
“It’s fine. Honestly, don’t worry. I–”
“Da– I mean, Max – would bloody kill me if I didn’t drive you,” he said as he straightened up and fixed me with a stubborn expression that reminded me forcefully of his stepfather. “Go and pack. Call me when you’re done and I can carry your stuff down.”
I looked at Teddy, glanced down at the backpack at my feet, then back up at him again.
“Er … this is it,” I told him, picking up my backpack and slinging it over my shoulder. His eyebrows shot up.
“Whoa, you travel light for bir … I mean, for a lady.”
“Yes.” I forced another smile and avoided direct eye contact.
“Okay then.” He cleared his throat before skirting round me back to the front door. I sighed, but if Teddy was anything like his stepfather then I was not going to win this battle. May as well let him drive me and be out of his hair as soon as possible. I dropped to my knees to give Roger and full-on hug. He licked my face when I pulled back, which I considered a high complement. For some reason it caused a lump to lodge in my throat. Bloody hell, was I so starved of affection that even the canine kind could make me blub? Blinking fast to force back the tears I stood up and followed Teddy out of the house and into his electric car.
“Postcode?” he asked, once I’d slid into the passenger seat.
“Ah, hold on,” I said as I dug out my mobile and opened my texts.
“New place?”
I glanced up at him from the screen to register his openly curious expression.
“Hmhm,” I murmured, biting my lip. Max and Teddy must not have discussed my situation. I wasn’t surprised – they didn’t seem to be too hot on the old communication front. Once I’d pulled up the text from my key worker, I typed the postcode into Teddy’s SatNav.
When we pulled up in front of the refuge, Teddy peered across me at the non-descript building. Women’s refuges’ aren’t signposted. Most of the women staying there don’t want to be found.
“Okay,” I said, trying to adopt a bright tone and failing miserably. “This is fine here. Thanks for everything, Ted.” I flashed him a brief smile and then scrambled out of the car. Once on the pavement I had to pause for a long moment to read the text again so I could actually find the entrance, which was down the side of the building. The only problem was it didn’t say which side. I walked over to the right, peered around the corner but only saw brick wall and a fire escape, so I doubled back on myself to check out the other side, letting out a small sound of surprise when I found Teddy blocking my path.
“Is there a problem?” he asked. He was frowning down at me with his head cocked to the side. “Don’t you live here?”
“Yes, of course I do.”
“So why don’t you know the way in?”
I sighed. “Look Teddy, it’s complicated.”
“I’m in the top set for further maths. I can do complicated.”
I rolled my eyes. Yet again his ego was matching his pseudo stepfather’s perfectly.
“I do live here. At least I will live here once I … er, register and stuff.”
“Register?”
“Teddy, look,” I said softly, moving forward and putting my hand on his arm. “I’ll be fine. Honestly you don’t have to waste your time. I’m safe here, I promise.” I pulled my hand back and backed away towards what was hopefully the building entrance.
“Safe?” Teddy asked. I glanced behind me to see he was now following me to the entrance I’d finally spotted. “Why wouldn’t you be safe?”
Bloody hell. Me and my big mouth.
“Go home, Teddy,” I said through gritted teeth as I reached up to ring the buzzer next to the door.
“Yes?” a voice came through the speaker.
“Hi, I’m Mia. Helen sent me.”
“Come through,” the voice instructed and I heard the automatic locks on the door turning. As I shouldered my way in I turned back to see Teddy frowning at the intercom.
“Bye, Teddy,” I said as I started to close the door behind me. His hand shot out to stop me and he stepped int
o the corridor after me.
“I’ll see you in,” he said, his tone so firm and unflinching that he didn’t sound like the seventeen-year-old boy I knew him to be at all. He sounded like Max.
“Oh, hello,” the voice from the intercom said, now coming from the woman in a floaty skirt who’d emerged from what looked like an office on one side of the corridor. “Mia, so lovely to meet you. I’m Nadia, the staff manager. Helen’s told me all about your case.” Nadia then looked at Teddy and her brow furrowed. “And you are?”
“Mia’s been staying with me and my stepdad,” Teddy said. If he was surprised by me being described as a case he recovered quickly. “I’m helping her move in.”
“I told you about Max,” I said to Nadia. “My boss who let me stay with him after I was sick. This is his son.”
“Ah, right. That’s kind of you to help, young man,” said Nadia, eyeing my small backpack and then giving Teddy a slightly baffled smile. “How old are you, love? Men over eighteen aren’t allowed in, see.”
Teddy glanced at me, then back the Nadia. “I’m seventeen … here.” He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and gave her his driver’s licence.
“No problem,” she said, handing it back to him. “Right then. Let me show you to your room.” The floor of the corridor was covered in old lino that was ever so slightly sticky. Some of the paint was peeling off the walls and there was absolutely no natural light. It felt a little like how I would imagine a prison to feel. “I’m afraid you don’t have your own bathroom. It’s a bit of a bun fight as there’s only two for this corridor.”
“That’s fine,” I said as she pulled out a key and opened one of the doors.
“And the room may be a wee bit on the small side,” she said, giving me an apologetic smile as I moved into the tiny space and sat on the bed. I returned her smile and slipped my backpack off my shoulder.
“I don’t exactly have much stuff. This is great.”
“There’s a communal kitchen – I’m afraid that’s a bit of a bun fight too. I’ll just pop and get the rest of the paperwork.” She gave Teddy another baffled smile as she retreated up the corridor to her office. Teddy was not smiling.
“What the fu– I mean, what’s going on?” he asked, looking around the tiny room with a disgusted expression on his face. “Jesus,” he added as he moved into the room. “Is that damp?” He reached up to the top corner near the low ceiling to feel the peeling wallpaper. “There’s black mould up here. Doesn’t this room have any ventilation?” He attempted to open the window, which was obviously welded shut. There were even bars on it for good measure. “What is this place? I thought I was taking you home?”
I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them he was staring down at me, his arms crossed over his chest.
“This is a women’s refuge, Teddy,” I said softly.
“A what?”
“A women’s refuge. It’s for women who … it’s for women who need a little help.”
He blinked.
“But there’s no sign outside or anything. I never knew anything like that was on this street.”
“Teddy.” I bit my lip, trying to choose my words carefully. “It’s not easy to find women’s refuges because the women that stay in them often don’t want to be found.”
His face drained of colour.
“You don’t want to be found?”
“No, Teddy, I don’t,” I whispered.
“You said you’d be safe here. Safe from what?”
“Right,” Nadia opened the door. She had a clipboard in hand and another bright smile on her face. “This won’t take too long to fill in then you’re all set. I just-”
“She’s not staying,” Teddy said.
“What?” asked Nadia, her eyes bouncing from between Teddy and me.
“She can’t stay here. She’s recovering from pneumonia and there’s mould on the ceiling. She’ll get sick again. My uncle is an emergency doctor – he’s always on about mould not being good for my asthma.” Right on queue I started coughing. I’d forgotten how exhausting coughing fits were. By the end of this one there were tears streaming down my face. Teddy’s face had regained too much colour now. His cheeks were bright red and he actually looked on the verge of tears himself. “She’s not staying here.” He grabbed my backpack and stormed out of the room.
Chapter 18
Maybe you should try taking advantage for once!
Mia
“What’s up Ted?”
I blinked in confusion at the kettle when I heard Yaz’s voice coming from the front door.
“It’s complicated,” Teddy mumbled. I heard the front door shut and footsteps coming down the corridor. Then Yaz appeared in the kitchen.
“Hey, Mia,” she said, rushing forwards to envelop me in a big hug. “How are you, hun? Your energy’s all wonky. Do we need to do some emergency meditation? How about a sea swim?”
“You could try not squeezing her to death,” Teddy said in a dry tone, and Yaz scowled at him then gave him a sharp punch in his bicep. “And she’s had pneumonia Auntie Yaz – the last thing she needs is a sea swim.”
“Shut your face, squirt,” she snapped, and I almost smiled at her referring to a human almost twice her size as squirt. “You and your dad need to get on board with the healing powers of the sea. Anyway, what’s going on?”
“I’m sorry, Mia,” Teddy said, turning to me and rubbing his arm. “But I don’t know anything about women’s refuges or … well, any of that stuff. Yaz is the only old woman I knew to ask to come.”
“Thanks, Teds,” Yaz said in a dry voice. “I am only twenty-five you know. But nothing like an ego boost from my favourite nephew.”
“Your only nephew.” He then shook his head and frowned. “And I’m not really your nephew either.”
“Semantics, little man. And you can cut that crap out with me. It might work with your dad–”
“He’s not my-”
“But it won’t work with your Auntie Yaz.”
Teddy sighed, but Yaz turned back to me.
“So, what’s all this about a women’s refuge? And why aren’t you answering your texts? Getting info from Max is like getting blood out of a stone. I’ve been worried. And the bossy bastard told me to let you rest.”
I bit my lip as I dropped Yaz’s hand. “Sorry. I just haven’t really got around to engaging with my phone,” I lied. The truth was that I was embarrassed. Embarrassed that they knew I’d slept on the floor of the office. Embarrassed that they now knew my limited wardrobe and my backpack weren’t just little quirks but necessities. One of the times Yaz had come to see me in the hospital and I’d pretended to be asleep. I’d heard her talking to Max in hushed tones by my bedside about my situation and I’d died a little inside at the pity in her voice.
“So what’s got Teddy’s knickers in a twist?” she asked her gaze flicking between her pseudo-nephew and me. I sighed.
“Really it’s nothing. I–”
“It’s not nothing,” Teddy said, he sounded shaken and upset now. In the background I could here the front door opening again and I suppressed an eye roll. The last thing we needed was Max arriving home. But Teddy was too caught up in his recount of events to notice. “I thought I was taking her to her home, but when I dropped her off it was at this weird building with no house number or anything. She didn’t know the way in, and I … it didn’t feel right.”
“You did what?” Max’s large frame filled the doorway to the kitchen. His hands were on his hips as looked at all of us in turn.
“I thought I was taking her home, Da– I mean, Max,” Teddy said in the smallest voice I’d ever heard from him. “But it was–”
“It was a women’s refuge and it was fine,” I said, giving Teddy what I hoped was a reassuring smile. Max opened his mouth but Teddy cut him off before he could speak
“It was not fine,” Teddy said, his face going a little red and his demeanour not reassured in the slightest. He was starting to l
ook very young indeed now. “The room was like, tiny and there was mould on the wall. You couldn’t even open the window.” He looked at me. Guilt flooded his expression. “I didn’t mean to make you feel you had to leave. I just … I’m sorry for being a dick when you arrived. I-I didn’t know that–”
“Teddy,” I cut him off in a firm tone. “This is your home. You should have a say in who says here and invades your space.”
He huffed. “This house is massive. I have all this and you …” He sniffed and then swallowed before blinking rapidly.
“Hey, hey,” Yaz said softly, moving to him and putting her arm around his waist – she was too short for it to go over his shoulder. He opened his arm and she tucked under it into his side. “You always were a sensitive little chap, just like your … Max.”
Teddy snorted. “I’m not sensitive,” he said, but the slight wobble in his voice gave him away. What surprised me was that Yaz would put Max in the sensitive category as well.
“Both of you are bloody idiots,” Max snapped at us. “You,” he pointed at me, “are not well enough to stay anywhere on your own, leave alone a women’s refuge for Christ’s sake. If you didn’t want to stay here you should have chuffing told me and we could discuss it like rational adults instead of you going behind my back.”
“It’s not like I didn’t want to stay,” I said, my long-dormant temper rising at his highhanded approach. “But I was imposing Max. It’s not fair on Teddy or you. I don’t want to take advantage of–”
“Maybe you should try taking advantage for once!” he said, his voice rising. “Maybe if you had asked for help just once over the last two months you wouldn’t have been living on the streets and you wouldn’t have almost bloody well died.”
Silence fell in the kitchen. I glanced at Teddy and watched a tear slide down his cheek. Yaz was staring at Max, open-mouthed in shock.
“And you,” Max said, pointing at Teddy, too lost in his anger to realise how shaken Ted was. “You should never have agreed to drive her anywhere. You know she’s in no fit state. I thought I taught you better than–”