Bare All

by L M Allen

  I walk out of the villa, slamming the door behind me, and set off for reception, where I’ll collect my passport and a taxi. But I don’t get two steps.

  “Just hold on there, Blue.”

  “Why did you lie to me?” I demand. Davey’s eyes search mine for a few moments.

  “Come back inside. Please.” I glare at him for a full ten seconds before I walk past him, my arms folded over my middle, and stop two steps over the threshold. That’s inside.

  “I need you to listen. And I need you to trust me. And I really need you to agree with me, just this once. I know you’re not going to like it any more than I do, but it’s the only way I can see out of this particular shit storm. Please.”

  Chapter 20

  When I drag my sorry arse into arrivals, Sid is waiting, just like Davey said he would be. As I approach him, I make myself do it—the thing I’ve been putting off for all eight hours of my flight home. I remove my sapphire ring and slip it into my pocket.

  “Hey! Eva!” He waves as though I hadn’t already spotted him.

  “Hi, Sid.” I even manage to smile at his enthusiasm. He opens his arms wide and I drop my case, allowing him to pull me into a hug. I need a hug. I feel...broken.

  “Now, let’s get you home and settled. And then, I’m cooking.” He gives me a wide, excited smile as he grabs the handle of my case and takes my waist.

  “Really? Do you have to?”

  “O ye, of little faith. I can cook, Adams. I’m going to impress your socks off; you’ll see.”

  “I look forward to it. And to not getting salmonella.”

  “Shh, now. You’re ruining it.” I roll my eyes and walk out of the automatic doors, and into the drizzle that announces my arrival back in England.

  “This way.” Sid guides me in the direction of his car, and I follow on autopilot. I’ve hardly slept. I can’t eat. I’m not sure Sid will be so glad to have me when he realises what a mess I am.

  “This is me.” Sid is smiling, almost bouncing like a small boy, when he presses a button that unlocks his new car.

  “What was wrong with your old car?”

  “Nothing. But I prefer this one. Don’t you like it?”

  “It’s a car, Sid. It has wheels and an engine. What’s the difference?” I shrug, and his face falls. Boys and their toys. I sigh. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

  “You’re a shit liar, but thanks for trying.”

  “Anytime.” He opens my door, and I get in and clunk my seat belt, while he throws my case in the boot. So I’m confused when he pops the bonnet.

  “That’s the boot.” He gives me a cheeky grin through the windscreen, his eyebrows dancing up and down in wiggly lines, before he jumps into the driver’s seat.

  “I’ll take care of you,” he says softly. I’d love to tell him I don’t need him to, that I can take care of myself, but it feels like a lie. And he already told me I’m crap at that, so I just nod.

  “Y’know. I’d marry you. If you wanted to.”

  I breathe a laugh, shaking my head. “Didn’t you hear? I’m cursed.”

  “No, Evie. You just didn’t say yes to the right guy yet.” I can feel his eyes on my face, and after a full minute, he starts the car and drives us back to Lilac Cottage, the place I bought while I was in Greece, half an hour from The Nook.

  “So, this is home?” Sid leans forward, peering through the windscreen a few hours later at the cottage I now live in.

  “I suppose it is.”

  “How long have you lived here?”

  “I haven’t yet.” He frowns, and I release my seat belt and swing my legs around to get out of the car. “Let’s go see what kind of state it’s in.”

  “Evie? Are you saying you haven’t been inside yet?” I nod.

  “Wait there.” He holds his hand out for a key.

  “Don’t look at me. I thought you had it.”

  “Are you kidding me? Where is it?”

  “I had the keys sent to the office after the furniture was moved. I suppose they must be there somewhere.”

  “Well, let’s go then.”

  The lift spits us out on the top floor and into the foyer of my office building; the buzz of conversation ceases when we round the corner into the communal space.

  “Eva! How was your honeymoon!” Alyssa enthuses.

  “Great. Thank you for all your hard work with the...” I swallow in a gulp. “...wedding.”

  “Aww. It was such a gorgeous day...” Her eyes flick to Sid, full of questions.

  “So, we just stopped by to collect some keys. Any ideas? They should have been delivered when I was in Greece?”

  “Oh, I think they’ll be in...” She pulls open her top drawer. The middle. Then the bottom. “Huh. I could have sworn...maybe I put them in your office?”

  “We’ve got it. Thanks.” Sid takes my arm and marches me towards my office at speed.

  “What is wrong with you!” I squeal when he closes the door behind me.

  “Check your desk. I need to make a call.” I watch Sid jog out of the office and through the communal work area, as do most other people. I can only imagine what they must think. The pregnant woman they work for has just come back early from her honeymoon, with a face like thunder and in the company of yet another man.

  I drag my feet around my desk and sit heavily. I can’t bloody believe the pile of crap that is my life. I open the top drawer and push things around half-heartedly. No keys.

  I check the next drawer and the next. No keys. I move across to the other drawers and pull open the first. “Ah! Keys.”

  I push to upright, ready to go find Sid, to tell him to stand down and that we can leave now. I look around when the door opens.

  “Eva.” Scott’s eyes are wide as they take in my exhausted face.

  “Hey. How’s it all going?” He shuts the door quietly, his attention on my face, and steps forward cautiously.

  “What happened?”

  “Happened?” I don’t understand the question.

  “You look...tired.”

  “Like shit, you mean.” He smiles awkwardly. “Er...well, you’ll find out sooner or later. Will and I split up.”

  Scott gasps. “Why?”

  “He was having an affair. I suppose I shouldn’t have been surprised. It was his job, after all.”

  “He...no. Will wouldn’t do that.”

  “No? Tell that to the baby she’s expecting.”

  “Huh.” Scott’s eyes are even wider.

  “Evie?” Sid rushes in, furiously tapping out a message. “You need to stay here. I’m going to—who are you?”

  “Sid, Scott. Scott meet Sid.” I wave my hand lamely between them. “What do you mean stay here? I want to go home, Sid. I need to sleep.”

  “I need to check it out first. The keys—”

  “Are right here.”

  “Eva, you’re doing a really shit job of letting me take care of you.” Sid’s eye twitches, and I sigh.

  “Go on then. Take the keys. I’ll wait here like a good little girl.” Sid scoffs.

  “That’s the biggest pile of bull I’ve ever heard.” I amend my answer.

  “Okay, so I’ll stay in the general London area, cursing your arse to hell until such time as you get back here with my house keys and I can go to sleep.”

  “Better. I won’t be long.” I freeze when he leans in and kisses my cheek. “Sorry... I...”

  “It’s fine. I’m fine. Just hurry up. Please.” Scott and Sid exchange one of those bloke looks, and I fall back in my chair, my face tilted up to the ceiling.

  “I’m sorry, Eva.” Scott’s voice is quiet and careful, like he’s talking to a wounded animal.

  “Why are you sorry? It’s not your fault, is it?”

  “Do you want a drink or anything?”

  “No—actually, yes. I need a cuppa.”

  I start to move, but Scott says, “You stay there. I’ll get it.”

  “I can manage a walk to the terrace, Scott,”
I snap before I can catch myself. “I’m sorry. I’m horrible when I’m tired. And hungry. And pregnant.”

  “You’re never horrible. But I’m going to get you a sandwich too, just for my own safety.”

  “You really don’t have to—”

  “I want to.”

  “Eva?” The voice calling me to consciousness is all wrong. I don’t understand. “Eva, I’m sorry to wake you. I’ve got you something to eat, and then I’ll take you to my place to sleep properly, okay?” Scott. I think.

  I blink my eyes and try to come round. I don’t really want to. I’m so tired. But I smile and say, “Thanks.”

  “You can eat that in the car if you want?” Scott jerks his chin towards the sandwich on my desk.

  “The car?” He nods.

  “I’ll take you back to mine. You can eat and sleep.”

  “Oh, thanks, but—”

  “Eva. You need to sleep.” I’d love to argue, but he has a point. And he’s just walked in to find me sparko on my desk. I nod and push to my feet. I grab the sandwich, and Scott carries the two takeaway cups.

  ***

  “This way.” Scott leads me into the club through a side door, up a set of stone stairs, and through another door not twenty minutes later.

  “Thanks.” I give him a little smile as he holds the door open, and I walk through. “Wow. It’s huge.”

  “That’s what all the girls say.” His face screws up. “Sorry. I don’t know how that slipped out.”

  “That’s what all the boys say.” He laughs, shaking his head and smiling a little. He hands me a cup and jerks his head towards the sofa. “Come sit.”

  I follow him to the sofa and sit. It’s so comfy. Squashy and cosy. “Make yourself at home. Take your shoes off. Whatever.” I hesitate, and he loosens his own laces before pulling off his shoes. I follow his lead and toe off my boots. I kick my feet up and sip my tea.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Scott asks, looking at me sideways.

  “Nope.”

  “Okay.” He swallows noisily. “I’m here...if you do.”

  “Will’s best mate? I’ll pass. Thanks.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “I don’t need to talk about Will, or my terrible track record at choosing exactly the wrong man, with that man’s friend, is what it means. You’re biased. It’d be like him talking about it to Bells. She’d tell him he was an idiot, no matter what I’d done.”

  “And she’d be right. He is.” I flick my eyes to his, but I look away fast, pressing myself a little harder into the arm of the sofa. “He told you, didn’t he?”

  I nod, not meeting his eyes. “Yeah. He told me.”

  “I...I don’t have an ulterior motive here, Eva. I’m not trying to...”

  “Why would you?” Why would any man ever again? I’m a fucking disaster zone. “Who would ever want me and two other men’s kids?” I laugh at the absurdity of it all. “Not even thirty and I’m on my way to divorce number two, pregnant again, and no man in sight. I can see the look on my dad’s face now.”

  “Eva...”

  “Just...” I close my eyes. “...don’t. Can we talk about something else?” I lean forward and put the tea down before getting comfy again.

  “Sure,” he says quietly. But I don’t catch the next bit before sleep takes hold and drags me under.

  Chapter 21

  I can hear arguing. A fight. A physical fight. There are bangs and grunts. Shouting and yelling. I know it, but I can’t drag myself up to the surface. I’m too tired. My body and mind feel all bent out of shape.

  “Eva!” Someone calls my name, and I drag the pillow over my head to deaden the noise. Please shut up. Let me sleep. I hear the bang of a door slamming into a wall, even through my pillow.

  “She can stay here! She’s already asleep!” a male voice snarls.

  “Not a fuckin’ chance. Evie?” My pillow is torn from my weak grasp.

  “Go away! I was sleeping!” I grumble, and snuggle down to get comfy on my one remaining pillow.

  “Evie, you can sleep at home. Come on. You have to stay with me.” My eyelids slowly peel apart. I know that guy. I just can’t quite place him. “Where are her shoes?” he barks, and I recognise his voice.

  “Sid? What are you...oh.” Reality comes flooding back, and I’m powerless to stop it. Stick to the plan, Blue. It’s important. “Oh...yeah. Just a sec.” I push myself up a bit on wobbly arms, and Sid hauls me up the rest of the way.

  “You are such a pain in my arse, woman.”

  “Sorry.”

  “I was kidding when I said...never mind.” He huffs, and I pull the hair band the rest of the way out of my ponytail and slip it onto my wrist, as Scott comes back in with my boots.

  “Thanks, Scott. For feeding me and letting me sleep.”

  “You don’t have to go.” He gives Sid a scathing glare. Sid smiles. I know that look. He’s ready to pick a fight.

  “I do. Thanks though.”

  “Who is he to you?” Scott asks, looking only at me.

  “He’s Sid.” I shrug. There’s not much more to say. Not much more I can say. “He’s my friend.”

  I push my feet into my boots and stand; Sid’s arm around my waist is probably the only thing keeping me upright.

  “Do I need to carry you?” Sid asks, his eyes flicking down my wobbly body.

  “No. I’m good.”

  “Evie...”

  “I have feet, Sid!” I snap. “Oh, don’t look at me like that; it’s your own bloody fault for waking me up.”

  “True. I should know better by now, eh?”

  “Yes. You really should.”

  “Noted. I’ll let you sleep as long as you like when we get home. You won’t hear a peep from me until you’re ready for dinner. Okay?” He smiles, and I narrow my eyes. He tilts his head and winks, unconcerned with me and my hormonal, sleep-deprived temper.

  “Shut up.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he says seriously, standing straighter, his chest expanding and his chin lifting. “Permission to speak, ma’am?”

  “Denied,” I growl, and make for the door. “Thanks, Scott. I’m sorry about...everything.”

  “No problem.” His eyes are so full of concern I could slap him. So I turn away and march straight for the stairs, Sid right beside me.

  “Who is that guy, Evie?”

  “Will’s friend.”

  “And how long has he been in love with you?”

  “Oh, don’t start that.”

  “I’m just asking.” He holds up both hands in surrender. “Probably not a great idea to sleep in his bed though...unless...”

  “I fell asleep on the sofa. He must have moved me.” I dismiss his sordid theories.

  “Huh.”

  “Huh, what?” I demand, stopping dead with my hands on my hips.

  “I’m just thinking.”

  “Well, don’t.”

  “You really are in a crappy mood, aren’t you?”

  “No shit, Sherlock. What gave it away?” Sid chuckles and takes my hand to guide me down the stairs, shaking his head to himself and smirking at his boots. I want to hurt him.

  “You can punch me if it’ll make you feel better.” Sid is almost laughing as he opens the car door, and I climb in.

  “Shut up, Sid.” Or I just might. I’m all over the place. I need to get a handle on myself. I don’t recognise this person. This savage. What the hell is wrong with me?

  Oh. Yes. I remember now.

  “Where is he?” I ask after several minutes, keeping my gaze through the window and watching the traffic whizz by, my voice quiet.

  “Will is currently scouring his resort for you.” I swallow hard and nod. “It won’t be long before he realises you’re not there and comes looking.” I turn my tear-filled eyes to Sid’s, which are bright and clear. “You can’t see him, Eva. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I know.” Bile makes its way up my throat, and I force it back down again. He’ll never forg
ive me anyway. It makes no difference. He’ll believe that I abandoned him too.

  “He has to believe it for this to work. And so does everyone else. We’ll worry about his emotional wellbeing after.” I can hear the sarcasm in his voice but I don’t have the energy to argue. I lean my head back and close my eyes. I’m an arsehole. My husband will hate me. I should just get used to that fact right now.

  “Come on, sleepyhead.” I jump when my car door opens, jerking me from a fitful doze. I unbuckle my seat belt and place my feet on the pavement, one at a time. My body feels like lead. Sid takes my case from the wrong end of the car, and we walk towards our new front door.

  “Home sweet home,” Sid says as he walks inside after me.

  “Yeah. If you say so.”

  “C’mon, Evie. It’ll all be okay. You’ll see.” His hand moves up and down my upper arm. I’m sure it’s supposed to be comforting, but I can’t stand it. “Sit down. I’ll stick the kettle on.”

  I sit and extract my ring from my pocket before I thread it through the extra-long chain I bought in the airport. I fasten it around my neck and tuck it under my T-shirt. It has to stay hidden, but I can’t take it off altogether. I won’t.

  Sid and I have talked the whole thing through for hours. The plan, in every detail. It makes me ill, just thinking about it. But I have to do this. This is the only way to save him. The only way Will can ever be free of his past. Even if it means he hates me forever in the process, I’ll still do it. For him. To free him, I’ll do anything. Even this.

  ***

  “Good morning. Eva, is it?” I raise my eyes to the deep-brown pair smiling at me across my desk the following Monday morning. He’s right on time—08:00 a.m. on the dot.

  “Yes. Hi. Take a seat, Mr Worth.” I watch him sit, and cross my ankles, bending my knees so my lower legs are under my chair. “What can I do for you?”

  “I want to organise a party. It’s for my mum. A big birthday, if you get my meaning.”

  “Sure.” I smile, hoping it looks natural. “For how many guests?”

  “Around eighty. You’re very tanned. Have you been away?” Here we go.