by B. B. Reid
Her smile turned coy as she peeked at me through the hair falling over her eyes. “Jealous?”
I didn’t answer her. Instead, I snatched the thick blanket neatly folded at the end of her bed and began making my pallet on the floor. When I turn back for the pillow that I’d come to think of as mine, I found her on her back watching me with her legs wrapped around the pillow and her cunt pressed against the pillowcase.
It was a trap only a fool would fall for.
Sighing, I took a step toward the bed as she fought another smile. I was struck, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d still be considered a fool if I fell for it willingly. Only the sight of her blushing prettily brought me hurtling back to reality. Reaching down, I yanked free the pillow her head was resting on. Her head bounced off the mattress, and I laughed when she was momentarily dazed.
“That’s mine!” she protested as she sat up in bed.
Shrugging, I tossed her pillow on the floor. “You seem to like the one you’re riding, so by all means, have at it.”
“You can have it back,” she whined.
“No thanks. You keep it.” Her scent was probably all over it by now, so there was no way I’d get any sleep and, frankly, neither would she. There’s only so much a man can resist before taking what was so brazenly offered to him.
“I don’t understand why you sleep on the floor anyway. There’s plenty of room up here with me.”
I lifted my shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. “It’s a twin bed, Lou.”
“Then I guess you’d have to hold me.”
I took a deep breath, but it wasn’t enough. My control began to splinter right down the middle. Turning to face her, I saw Lou had abandoned the pillow and was now kneeling on the bed, her taut belly visible thanks to the crop top, and I could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra because the top was so sheer I could see her dark nipples peeking through. And her frilly panties… God, those fucking panties. My cock rose as swiftly as my anger. Fortunately, for me, anger won.
“I won’t be doing that now or ever, Lou.” My eyes narrowed to slits when she attempted to step from the bed. “Do we understand each other?” My tone quickly had her rethinking her next move, and she was back to kneeling.
I watched as her sexy as fuck lips parted, and her eyes quickly filled with tears I knew she’d never let herself shed. A second later, she dropped onto the mattress and turned her back to me.
I stood there for a moment longer watching her, but she didn’t make a sound or move a muscle. Tiptoeing over to the bed on silent feet, I grabbed the sheet at the foot of the bed, and she stiffened when I covered her with it.
“You’re a coward,” she said through clenched teeth. Her body trembled with the exertion it took not to cry.
“No, Lou. I just know I’ll never be the man you deserve. One day, you’ll see it, too.”
It was hard not to crawl into her bed and soothe her the way I knew she wanted. She didn’t respond, and I told myself it wouldn’t have mattered. Nothing she did or said would make me touch her. She was too young, and I was too damaged.
My jaw clenched, and I wanted to punch a hole in the headboard when blood rushed to my dick anyway. I scoffed and finally walked away. As I dropped onto my pallet, I realized I had only myself to blame.
Lou was spoiled as fuck.
A monster of my own making.
My cock nearly burst through my jeans at the thought of corrupting her more.
“Did you find him?” she said in a small voice after a silence that lasted too long. I knew she wasn’t asleep. We’d never been able to sleep much at all when we were upset with the other. Small talk was always her way of reaching out to me.
“Find who?”
“Danny Boy. I know he’s what kept you away.”
“I found him.”
“Did you hurt him?” I heard the hitch in her voice and hated the thought of her losing faith in me even though I wished she would. Eventually, I’d disappoint her once and for all.
“I didn’t hurt him.”
“Why not?”
“Because—” I stopped short, not wanting to speak the truth out loud even though I felt it in what remained of my heart. I listened to her shift and knew when her gaze found me in the dark. I could feel her wrapping me in her cocoon.
“You’re safe with me,” she whispered, giving me the courage to speak what was in my heart.
I was lying on my back, so I let my head roll to the side so I could see her, too. “Because I-I think I’m meant to protect him.” At that moment, it felt like someone had taken hold of my soul as if it were my hand and squeezed.
Yes.
I heard the confirmation and felt the determination to do so rise. I bit back a curse.
I always knew Danny Boy didn’t belong in my world. I’d been keeping my eyes open for any opportunity to get rid of him. I never suspected the world he did belong in, however, and it pissed me off to no end to know that he risked his life for a fucking thrill. My mind raced, unable to accept the answer as fact. It just didn’t fit. He was too goddamn smart.
“Why?” Lou questioned.
“I don’t know why. I just…know.”
“Is it the same feeling you had when you met me?” There was no jealousy in her tone, only curiosity. She’d cut out her tongue before admitting it, but I knew Lou hated sharing me with anyone as much as I hated sharing her. We only had a limited amount of time to spend in this life, and I wanted every second of hers.
I averted my gaze until I was staring at a hole in the ceiling. “It’s different.”
“How?”
I took a deep breath, knowing I was about to step back on dangerous ground. Too late to turn back now. “Because even though I know you can take care of yourself, I’d never let you.”
I listened to her release a breath before her timid voice broke through the dark. “Why?”
Against my will, my gaze found hers again. “You know why.”
My tone left nothing for her imagination to figure out. Judging by her wide eyes and gasping lips, I knew my eyes had conveyed more than I’d intended. I was just grateful the dark concealed my painful hard-on and the hand I used to grip it as I, hopefully, stroked it back into submission. I, however, didn’t miss the full-body shiver she tried to hide under the soft light of the lamp bathing her.
And just like I’d always known, she retreated, not as ready for the full force of my desire as she believed herself to be.
“Good night, bestie.”
“Good night, little Valentine.”
She was dead to the world when my quiet groan pierced the silence, and I used my T-shirt to clean away the evidence of what she had done to me.
OKAY, SO, WOW. AND BY ‘wow’ I do mean holy fucking shit!
I was starting to believe Wren when he said I was too innocent for him.
I couldn’t get the way he looked at me out of my mind. A week later and it was all I could think about it. It was searing hot, anxious, and full of promise. The image I had of him ripping the clothes from my body for the unfettered access his lips and hands would require still plagued me. It was so vivid, enthralling really. Better than high definition porn.
“Are you okay?” Eliza questioned warily as we walked home.
School had let out early today so teachers could have extra time for professional development. I had no idea what that meant, but I had to be the only one in my entire school not happy about it. That was just two hours without distraction from my thoughts. Although, if I were capable of being rational right now, I’d accept that it wouldn’t have mattered. School or no school, Wren and the hard cock he’d tried to hide a week ago were the only things holding my attention at the moment.
“Fine,” I lied. Horny as hell wasn’t exactly a medical condition. Just a frustrating one. “Why do you ask?”
“Because you’re sweating in the middle of October, and you’re breathing hard even though you’re a pencil.”
“Hey!” I barked, a
little miffed.
“A very sexy pencil,” she assured me with a wink. “Definitely hotter than a number two. And lead pencils got nothing on you.”
“Now that’s better,” I grumbled even as I laughed at her ridiculous analogies.
“So what’s up, buttercup? I know something’s on your mind,” she prodded. She even put away the book she’d been reading to give me her full attention. The guy with sweaty abs on the cover gave me a pretty good idea what it was about.
Wren’s are better.
“Nothing major. I haven’t seen Wren in a couple of days, and he’s not answering my texts. I could be dead for all he knows.”
“I’m pretty sure the texts assure him you’re not.”
“Well then, he could be dead for all I know since he won’t respond,” I griped.
She looked at me then like she didn’t know what to do with me. “Do you really believe that?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. “He’s too badass.” I stubbornly believed Wren could kick Superman’s ass if he wanted to, no matter how many times he warned me he wasn’t invincible.
“Then relax. You know as well as everyone else with eyes that he can’t stay away. He’ll be back.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The only thing the two of you have in common is that you’re both dicks. You don’t seriously believe you’re just friends, do you?”
“We’re just friends,” I lied.
“Oh, please!” she scoffed and waved me off. “You’re dying to get his cock in you, and you know it.”
I blinked in surprise, not expecting this little church mouse to be so crude, and then I narrowed my eyes wondering if Eliza was as innocent as she seemed. “Believe what you want, but it’s not going to happen.”
“Because you don’t want it or because you believe you shouldn’t?”
Oh, I definitely want it.
“Both,” was what I dared say aloud. We’d danced around the subject—come so dangerously close—but never, not since the winter’s night we met, had we ever admitted our desires outright. I think we both feared doing so would permanently wreck the bond we’ve clung to for two and a half years. There were too many what-ifs to eradicate them all, and only one of them worked in our favor.
What if everything worked out between us?
What if it didn’t?
The latter was enough to keep us both on our leashes. Right now, I was the only one tugging at mine anyway.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it,” Eliza argued with more vehemence than I believed necessary. I shouldn’t be surprised though. She’d been team Wren since the moment she climbed into his back seat two years ago. I just figured that, like me, Eliza was harboring a secret crush although I doubt hers consumed her day and night. We weren’t the only ones afflicted, either.
Unintentionally, Wren had become a popular fantasy among my peers and a reoccurring nightmare for their parents. Everyone at my school and in my neighborhood knew of him. The boys marveled while the girls adored. He had bulldozed and trampled his way into every aspect of my life and was now more my guardian than the Hendersons. Not even they dared to exorcise him from my life. I think to them he was more a relief than a usurper anyway since I was pretty sure that Cathleen and Dan were the reason why Wren always knew when I ran away. Duty would have required them to notify Laura, my social worker, immediately, but Wren was more than cunning enough to keep the Hendersons happy and me off social services’ radar. I was just grateful her heavy caseload kept her home visits infrequent. My social worker was drowning in orphans, and I wasn’t even close to being her biggest headache. I ran away a lot, but I never hurt anyone like many of the kids thrown into the system. For them, it was the only way they knew how to survive because there wasn’t anyone to teach them better.
Wren wasn’t exactly a squeaky-clean influence, but some would say he was my guardian angel. I almost laughed at the notion. There was nothing angelic about Wren Harlan. He was too powerful. Too fierce. Too potent. He could have been my white knight, but his armor didn’t shine. It was shrouded in darkness, and it was only a matter of time before it swallowed him whole.
Over my dead body.
“What’s bullshit is that you won’t let it go,” I retorted.
“Fine.” Eliza’s eyes suddenly turned hopeful. “Since you don’t want him, can I have him?”
I was ready to rage and explain how that will never happen when I spied the smile she tried to hide and the mischievous twinkle in her eye. I was about to confront her when I stopped short, spotting Paula parked in front of the Hendersons.
“Looks like you spoke him up,” Eliza gloated gleefully.
Excited, I made my way to his car, but Wren was nowhere in sight. Cathleen and Dan were both still at work, and even if they’d been home, I couldn’t imagine them all sitting down for mid-day tea. The most obvious answer was that he was waiting for me but then…where was he? Against my will, my gaze drifted to the brick home across the street, and I could have peeled the red paint from the door with my glare.
I told myself that he wouldn’t.
He couldn’t.
He’d promised.
“FUCK.” I GROANED. MY EYES fluttered closed before I forced them open again and sat up in the bed.
Lou’s bed.
I hadn’t intended to stick around after dropping off film for her Polaroid and a new memory card for the digital camera I’d gotten her for her birthday. She preferred vintage, but I was hoping she’d consider pursuing photography one day—maybe investigative journalism since she was a nosy shit. She needed to expand her horizons, and I was determined to steer her in the right direction.
I’d let myself in with the key she still didn’t know I had with plans to drop her shit off and get the fuck out of dodge, but I’d found myself sitting on her bed to clear my head. That had been two hours ago, and I’d woken up feeling groggy as hell. Once the fog of sleep cleared, I began to panic as I checked my phone for the time.
Seeing that it was two hours before school let out, I sighed in relief and stood from her bed. Her sweet scent drenched the sheets, which was probably what lulled me to sleep in the first place. I groaned as I headed for the door feeling pathetic. How could such an innocent girl disarm me so easily and often? I should have seen all her moves coming from a mile away, but she brought me to my knees at every turn.
Opening the front door, I stopped short at the sight of Eliza shaking a near catatonic Lou while calling her name with increasing panic. The only sign of life from Lou were the tears falling from her eyes. And I knew instantly that I’d caused them.
“Lou.”
My voice broke through her stupor, and when her eyes found me standing in her doorway, I saw relief in them just before her shoulders sagged, and she began to tremble.
Cursing I rushed down the stairs. “What happened?” I growled at Eliza.
“Dude, how’d you get in our house?” she questioned rather than answer me.
I shot her a look that sent her fleeing for the safety of her house and took her place in front of Lou.
“Did something happen?”
I felt a surge of violent energy at the mere thought of someone causing her even the smallest harm. Lou was a bit of drama queen, but none of that mattered because when it came to Lou, I didn’t take chances.
“Nothing,” she croaked and then sniffed. “I was just wondering where you were.”
My gaze zeroed in on the tears staining her cheeks. “You were crying.”
“I had an eyelash stuck in my eye. Eliza helped me fish it out.” She hiccuped before rushing around me for the front door. I watched her go, wondering if it was wise to stop her and demand answers. My idea of comfort would only damn us both. She took the decision away from me when she whirled around on the middle step. “What are you doing here?” she questioned as if it just occurred to her where I’d been.
“Two days ago, you texted me asking if I could ‘talk’ your teacher out o
f giving you detention, and then you told me you also needed more film.”
Her laugh sounded forced as she crossed her arms. “So you thought breaking and entering was more logical than waiting for me to get home?”
I paused at the hostility in her tone. “I didn’t have time to wait for you to get home,” I explained warily.
“Then why are you still here?”
My phone chimed, saving me from looking her in the eye when I said, “I took a nap on your bed and overslept.”
I heard her scoff and looked up from reading the message from Shane. Her arms were crossed, and I could tell she was annoyed but also a little…suspicious?
“Well, I hope you didn’t wrinkle my sheets.”
I knew then that something was seriously wrong. Lou wasn’t exactly the neatest person. Sometimes, she made me feel like her mother.
Make your bed, Lou.
Pick up your trash, Lou.
Why is there a bra hanging from the ceiling fan, Lou?
“I was surprised to find there were sheets at all,” I retorted, keeping my tone light.
She rolled her eyes even though she knew I was right. It took her forever to remember to wash her sheets, and whenever she did, it took her even longer to put them back on. Perhaps she was content to sleep on a bare mattress because she’d slept in worse places. I wondered if it weren’t for my nagging or Mrs. Henderson taking pity on her now and then if she’d forgo them altogether. If anyone ever asked, she’d probably claim a minimalist lifestyle.
“Well, I won’t hold you up,” she said after an awkward silence. “Thank you for the film.” She turned to leave, but I found I wasn’t ready to let her go just yet.
“Not so fast,” I said while pocketing my phone. “Why did you get detention?” It wasn’t the question I wanted to ask, but I didn’t have time to explore Lou’s ever-changing emotions.
She frowned. “Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“It can wait,” I growled. That sleeping bear she was poking at was now fully awake, and if she didn’t tread carefully, we’d both be in trouble.
“It’s like this,” she said with a sigh, and I knew right then she’d make me sorry for asking. “Some girls were gossiping, and it was interfering with my daydreaming, so I told them to can it, but then my debate teacher accused me of being disruptive and decided to call me out.”