Love on Leave

by Leah McDonnell

  “Wait. You’re not going with us?”

  “Nah, I’m sittin’ this one out. I’m not up for the whole fifth wheel thing. I’d be riding all the rides by myself, which would only remind me of how pathetic my love life is.” I laugh to cover how true the statement actually is.

  “Well, shit. I wish we had known you were bailing on us. We could have brought Max to keep you company.”

  “Um, I know this won’t come as a huge surprise. But ever since the whole marriage and baby thing…Max and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms.”

  An odd expression sets on his face. I open my mouth to ask him about it when Lana and Artie rumble down the hall.

  “Kate! For the last time… You will not be the fifth wheel!” she shouts, rounding the corner of the living room.

  I smile. “Thank you for wanting to include me. I appreciate it, but I’m not feeling it. I’m thinking about heading home for the weekend. James will be there, and since I bailed on him at the football game a few weeks ago, thought it would be a good time to make it up to him.”

  “I miss your crazy ass brother! I keep forgetting how close he is, now that he’s at Auburn. We all need to plan a trip to visit him,” Artie says.

  “He was talking about a big Halloween party his fraternity is throwing. Maybe we can plan to go that weekend?” I suggest.

  “Hell yeah! The one night a year I get to dress slutty without the shame! Count me in!”

  Artie lifts an eyebrow. “Not too slutty, Lana Michelle Mathews. I have a hard enough time keeping guys off your sexy ass as is.”

  She throws her hands on her hips. “Oh, it’s totally happening, Samuel. Ryan. Armstrong!”

  I crinkle my nose. “It’s so weird to hear your actual name, Artie.”

  He laughs, poking Lana in the side. “Yeah, her and my mom are about the only ones who call me Sam anymore.”

  “There she is!” Santos says, grinning ear to ear as Ashley walks in the door.

  He scoops her in his arms. “You up for a Halloween party in Auburn, babe?”

  “Can we get one of those ridiculous-looking couple costumes?”

  “You better believe it!”

  “Then I say you’ve got yourself a date!”

  The five of us bum around the apartment for a few hours, catching up on all the latest news since we were last together. I pass around the pictures we had taken on Labor Day and we all have some good laughs reminiscing. The guys get the biggest kick out of us telling the “non-Lana” version of our running out of gas fiasco.

  “Something was clearly wrong with the car. The gas thingy showed we still had a quarter of a tank left,” Lana says, trying not to laugh.

  “You know you go to hell for lying, right?” Ash teases.

  Artie fans the shot of the three of us in the back of the cop car. “At least y’all got some cool pictures out of it.”

  “Just another crazy day in the life of Lana and Kate!” I say.

  “Here’s an interesting picture,” he says, showing the room the picture Davis and I took together at dinner. The night of our infamous hook-up.

  I snatch it from his hand. “Give me that! All this picture does, is remind me how much his arrogant act got on my nerves.”

  “If my mind serves me right, he got on something else that particular weekend as well!” Lana teases.

  I snarl to keep from laughing. “You’re both assholes! You know that right?”

  “Speaking of Davis...why didn’t he come with y’all?” Ashley asks.

  “He wanted to, but his sister’s getting married this weekend. We actually dropped him off at the airport on our way through Atlanta,” Santos says.

  “Well, tell him we said hello. And make sure he knows about the Halloween plans.”

  “And speaking of guys Kate’s hooked up with...” Lana smirks.

  I open the fridge to make a glass of sweet tea. “Oh, Lord. Here we go.”

  “Since you’re being a titty baby and running back to Alpharetta for the weekend. You have to promise to stay the hell away from Wayne, ok?”

  “Well, yeah. Of course,” I groan. “I have zero desire to be anywhere near him this weekend, or any weekend for that matter.”

  “Don’t pretend this is coming out of left field! You know if you go out, someone will tell him where you’re at and he’ll show up.”

  “Is Wayne the dickhead who got in the fight with Max and Drew?” Artie asks.

  “Yes! And ever since Kate’s dumbass got drunk and slept with him two months ago, he’s been calling here non-stop.”

  “Hey! I was in mourning! I had a reason for being a dumbass!”

  Lana points her finger. “Stay the hell away from him! I mean it!”

  “Geez! Ok, Mom!” I snarl, throwing a cube of ice from my glass at her.

  It’s late Friday afternoon and I’m headed home to Alpharetta. It’s early October now, the leaves are beginning to fall, and it’s finally cold enough to pack the shorts and tanks away until spring.

  Although Lana made two more attempts to convince me to stay, I couldn’t do it.

  I’m thrilled beyond words my two best friends are happy and in love. I can’t find the strength to fester in the middle of it all weekend.

  I lied about James being home. It was the quickest excuse I could think of at the time. I’ll fess up once I get back on Sunday. What’s worse, my parents are out of town and Jack didn’t need any help at the restaurant. So there’s actually no true reason I should be heading home, other than to escape the love nest. I bring Max’s letter with me, hoping maybe I’ll find the strength to open it at some point.

  The radio’s dialed to the local classic rock channel as I make my way through the heavy traffic. As the Alpharetta exit appears in the distance, my stomach flutters when I spot the large green interstate directional sign. Columbus-133 Miles.

  I bite my nails as thoughts of Max and the letter race through my mind. My knee bounces on the steering wheel; my willpower to avoid his words, crumbling. I can’t stand it any longer. I have to know what he’s written. I exit, finding a place to park at my favorite Shell station. My hands shake as I pull the letter from my purse and slowly rip the envelope.

  There isn’t a day that passes I don’t think of you.

  I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me.

  I love you,

  Max

  I gasp. He loves me?

  As if it was a sign, the first few notes of “Hotel California” begin to play loudly through the speakers. The same song that played the night we met. The one we sang at the top of our lungs. Our hands swaying in the air without a care in the world. The night my life was forever changed. I read his words again and know what I have to do. Without a second thought, I throw the car in drive. Following my heart...

  I was at complete peace with my decision the entire drive until I pass through the gates of Fort Benning. What the hell are you doing, Kate? I slam my fists against the wheel. Errrrrrr! No! Don’t think! I keep repeating it as his building comes into sight. My stomach’s a ball of nerves as I pull into the parking lot, spotting Max’s motorcycle parked a couple of spaces over. I turn off the engine and close my eyes. Taking long deep breaths to steady the shaking in my hands.

  I pull the rearview mirror down to check my make-up, realizing I hadn’t prepared for this little venture south. As I rub lip gloss on, I notice a black gentleman standing in the doorway of the main lobby entrance. Shit! I yell out, crouching in the seat even though he’s too far away to see me. It’s the Sergeant Jackass who ran us off on Memorial Day. He’s in street clothes, but I recognize him in an instant. I stay slouched in the car trying to wait him out. But after twenty minutes with no sign of him leaving, I’m forced to move to plan b.

  Sweat pools on the back of my neck as I cross the lot, trying desperately to blend in. I say a silent thank you when I find the side door unlocked and slip up the back stairwell. My bearings are off, but manage to find the correct direction of Max’s room. Passin
g over the open atrium, I peek down to the check-in desk below. Jackson’s manning the phones, as he and Sgt. Jackass shoot the breeze. Their laughter echoes across the tall ceiling as I slip past them unnoticed. I walk the long hall, the stark white halls and bright lighting bring back horrible memories of my last visit and the disappointment on Max’s face when I lashed out at him.

  I take a minute to calm myself when I make it to his room. I pull sweaty hair off my neck and do a quick armpit check. Thank God, for extra strength deodorant!

  My heart pounds against my chest as I knock.

  “It’s open!” Max yells through a small crack in the door. I close my eyes, trying to find the courage to push the knob.

  Pull it together, Kate! The door swings open as I reach for it.

  A small gasp escapes as his mouth falls. Speechless, we stand blinking at each other. He takes a step forward and wraps his arms tightly around; burying his head into my hair. I smell his cologne and feel my knees weaken under him.

  He pulls his arms back to grab my face.

  He feels around in disbelief. “Am I dreaming? You came back?”

  “I came back,” I whisper. Fighting the urge to cry.

  We’re interrupted by the sound of voices coming up the stairs. “Get in here,” he says, taking me by the hand to pull me in.

  His arms back around me the second the door shuts.

  “I hope it's ok I’m here.”

  “Of course it is,” he says with a huge smile. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”

  I let out a nervous laugh. “I won’t lie. I almost talked myself out of it when I pulled into the parking lot. But knew I’d regret it if I did.”

  He shakes his head in disbelief. “I think I’m in shock.” His voice grows serious. “I mean after everything that happened last time.”

  I peel from his embrace. “That’s kind of why I’m here. I thought maybe with everyone gone, it might be a good time for us to clear the air.”

  “Yeah, I heard about the big birthday plans,” he says as we both take a seat on the edge of his bed.

  “It about killed me when I saw them all leaving out earlier.”

  “Why?”

  He gives a knowing look. “Pure, heart-shattering, jealousy.”

  A twinge of pleasure races through me as he says the words. But bury it, since he’s the whole reason we’re in this situation in the first place. I bite my lip, mustering the courage to have the conversation we’re both dreading.

  My eyes drift to the floor. “Why didn’t you call me Max?”

  “I’m so sorry,” he says with a heavy breath. “I know you deserved to hear it directly from me. It’s just… I knew if I heard your voice...even for a second, I wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. And I had to. I had to do the right thing. There was no other option.” He shakes his head in irritation. “Not to mention she was watching me like a damn hawk!”

  I don’t interrupt, hanging onto every word. “By the time she left, I was too embarrassed to call. As the days and weeks passed, it only got harder. I would pick up the phone to call you, then talk myself out of it. Too afraid calling you to explain would mean admitting it was over. And I wasn’t ready to let go yet.” He taps his feet nervously on the tile floor.

  “I’m so sorry. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you,” he admits, finally looking at me as tears fill his eyes.

  “If it hadn't been for the storm we would have been here when she showed up. We had barely made it out past Atlanta before we had to turn around. It was either divine intervention or a terrible twist of fate. Either way, it was obvious we weren’t meant to be here.”

  “You have to know what I said in my note is true. Not a day goes by I don’t think about you.” He grabs my hands and squeezes.

  “Hell, everything reminds me of you. No matter how hard I’ve tried to put my feelings for you aside, they’re always there.”

  His face goes rigid as he springs to his feet. “I think that’s what pisses me off more than anything about this whole screwed up situation! It’s that she knew! She knew I was over her and had fallen for someone else. She knew the only thing that could tear you and I apart was to cook up a damn pregnancy story. And like a fucking idiot, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker.”

  Stunned, I throw my hands in the air. “WHAT!?” I shout as my chin drops to my knees.

  His eyes go blank. “She lied, Kate. Didn’t you know?”

  “I… uh…” I mutter. My mouth is physically unable to make words.

  “I figured that’s why you were here. That Artie told you.”

  My hands glue to each cheek. “No. Neither one of them said a word. They were acting a little off, but no.” I shake my head. “How could she do this?”

  He paces the room, his fist balled on his hips. “Her best friend, Kristen told me. I had never met her. Never even knew Jody had any close friends until then. She called out of the blue and said she had something important to tell me. That she couldn’t live with herself knowing someone was being used so badly. I guess it’s been about two weeks now, right after you were here.”

  He sits back beside me and continues. “She said Jody admitted she wasn’t pregnant, and since we were living apart, she would fake a miscarriage at some point.”

  My eyes widen. “Are you kidding me!?”

  “Evidently, she thought I would feel so sorry for her about the miscarriage, I wouldn’t have the heart to divorce her in her ‘terrible time of need’.”

  “Thank God her friend was an honest enough person to rat her out!”

  “Kristen told me she was pissed off I had met someone, but it ultimately boiled down to money. Since she was discharged from the Army, she’d been freaking out over how to pay bills and her military insurance was about to run out. She couldn’t find a job that paid more than minimum wage, so she concocted the whole pregnancy lie to get my paycheck and benefits.”

  I punch the bed with both fists. “What a straight. Up. Evil. Bitch! What kind of a sick sociopath does that?”

  “I’m having the marriage annulled, Kate,” he blurts.

  I sit back down and grab my temples.

  “I’m clueless, Max. How exactly does that work?”

  “I was too. But thanks to her, I’ve had to get a crash course in ending botched marriages. It’s different from a divorce, where both parties acknowledge the marriage. An annulment will be like it never happened.”

  A loud knock at the door startles us. A male voice with a strong northern accent yells. “Hey man, ya ready to go?”

  My head whips around. “Oh shit, Max! I’m so sorry. I should have known you were going out,” I whisper.

  Not whispering and without hesitation. “Nope! There’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere tonight unless it’s with you.”

  He jumps up to open the door. “Should I hide?” I panic, scanning the room for a place to dive.

  He laughs. “Well hell no, silly woman! Why would you ask that?” he asks, flinging the door open.

  I don’t recognize the person and I catch him off guard when he spots me.

  “Oh! I didn’t know ya had company!” he says, wide-eyed.

  “Coop… this is Kate.” I stand as he introduces me. “Kate… this is Cooper. He’s from Jersey.”

  “It’s a pleasure to meetcha,” he says, extending his hand out. “You too, Cooper. Thank you.”

  “Wait a minute,” his right brow raising. “Are you the Kate? The Alpharetta Kate?”

  Max beams with pride. “Yes. She. Is!” My heart melting at the sound of “the Kate.”

  “Well, I guess this means you won’t be joining us tonight, huh?” he says with a chuckle.

  “Sorry man! We’ve got a lot of catchin’ up to do.”

  “No problem, Maxi. Catch up wich’ ya girl. We can go out another night.” Cooper throws his arm out to shake Max’s hand. “Kate, I’m glad to finally put a face with the name. I’ve heard so much about ya, I feel like I already knows y
a!”

  “Oh, Lord! I’m afraid to ask,” I say, slightly embarrassed.

  “All good. Promise,” he chuckles. “The story of you rolling into the family of raccoons had me laughin’ for days!”

  “Yep! Those little bastards wanted to see me on a dinner plate.”

  Max smiles but his eyes drop to the floor. He wasn’t there for that trip and his discomfort is apparent. We say our goodbyes and Max walks out with him.

  My curiosity gets the best of me when I hear whispers. I slip closer to eavesdrop, but can’t make out what everything they’re saying.

  “I thought he was in Alpharetta?”

  “No, I don’t think so. He told me he was flying home for his sista’s wedding,” Cooper replies.

  They’re talking about Davis and I panic. The mere thought of having to have a conversation about the whole Davis thing makes me cringe.

  I bolt back to the bed when feet shuffling in the hall. “You hungry?" he asks, closing the door behind him.

  I grab my stomach. “Starving!”

  “Me too! How about we go grab some dinner? I know we still have a ton more to talk about, but at least we can do it with full bellies.”

  “That works!”

  “What are you in the mood for?” he asks.

  “Well, are you wanting to go through a drive-thru or…”

  “No way! Nope. No more Waffle House. No more Taco Bell. I’m taking you on a real date. Where dinner isn’t served over a counter, wrapped in paper.”

  He cleans a pile of CDs off the floor. Unable to contain my toothy smile. Is this real life? Am I actually sitting in Max’s room deciding on where we should go on our date?

  “Well, I can’t go like this. I look like a ragamuffin!”

  He wraps his hands around my wrist and pulls me to my feet. “I’m not going to pretend to know what a ragamuffin is. But I can promise you, you’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right this second.”

  I feel my cheeks go hot. He’s nuts but I resist the urge to disagree with him. Opting for a simple, “Thank you” and a smile instead.

  His face grows solemn as he pulls me close. Staring at me as if he’s trying to read my mind. His eyes begging for forgiveness. “I’m so sorry I hurt you.”