by Linda Kage
“Yeah, it’s all good here. I’m not so tired anymore, especially not after worrying about you. Did you say girl-talk?” he asked, sounding suddenly interested. “Oh, Jesus. You three are hanging out on your bed in your underwear, having a pillow fight, aren’t you?”
I rolled my eyes, and Sasha snickered because she’d heard his question. A devilish gleam entered Tyla’s eyes right before she loudly proclaimed, “Let’s practice kissing again.”
“Wait, what did she say?” Colton demanded, making my roommates roll with laughter. “Maybe I should come over and check on you anyway,” he suggested.
“Goodnight, Colton,” I told him firmly, rolling my eyes. “I love you.”
I hung up on him and sent my friends an exasperated glance. “He’s such a guy.”
They were both too busy gaping at me with their mouths open to answer.
I blinked, confused. “What’s wrong?”
“Honey,” Tyla said slowly. “Do you realize you just told that boy you loved him?”
“No, I didn’t,” I said slowly, running the conversation back through my head until I got to the farewell, and then all warmth drained from my face. “Oh my God, what have I done?” I turned my beseeching gaze to them and flapped my hands restlessly. “What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?”
Before they could answer, my phone vibrated. “Oh, God,” I uttered. “He just texted me, didn’t he?”
Tyla and Sasha dove for my phone while I remained frozen. As they greedily read the screen, I finally found the courage to ask, “What’d he say?”
Neither answered for a moment, and then Sasha read the message aloud. “He said, Ha, I knew you’d say it first.”
I blinked and snagged the phone from their hands. “That’s all?”
That bastard. Was he not going to say it back, or at least tell me he didn’t feel the same? How dare he leave me hanging?
Two seconds later, another message popped up.
I released a breath, and my shoulders sagged, beyond comforted. “That fucking jerk,” I said, grinning and shaking my head as I showed my friends the new message. “He made me sweat through another two seconds on purpose.”
And I kind of loved him even more for it because it was just so him.
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 27
The next day was a Saturday, no college classes, so I didn’t have to worry about how I was going to act around Colton in philosophy. I’d never told a guy I loved him over the phone before. Actually, the only other person I’d said it to had been Shaun, and he’d proposed directly after that and we’d spent the rest of the day in bed together.
I shuddered with revulsion, just thinking about him and that day, while a nasty taste filled my tongue. Remembering other guys felt wrong now. I kind of wished everything had started with Colton because he was the only thing that felt right.
And yet I was sitting here stressing about how I was going to behave around him the next time I saw him.
We both knew we loved each other now.
What would I say to him about it? Just blurt it out again first thing? What if he retracted his part of it because he really had gotten a concussion the night before, and he’d been deliriously half out of his mind when he’d texted those three words?
I kind of wanted to puke from stressing myself out so bad.
Sasha was working all day, and Tyla was at Theo’s—I was afraid she wasn’t breaking up with him but making up, ugh—so I couldn’t bother my friends with my worries.
When a text came in from Colton mid-morning, I attacked my phone, eager to read it.
I stared at his words and exhaled a breath, relieved beyond anything I could explain. He hadn’t used the L-word, but what he’d said was just so…us, it settled everything inside me.
I told him:
To which the smart-ass immediately replied:
Yep, everything was as it should be.
When I strolled into work that night, I was actually humming contentedly to myself.
Behind the counter, Brandt was stacking glasses.
“Hey,” I called, smiling in greeting. “Pick still hasn’t found a replacement for you yet, huh?”
“No, the fucker,” he muttered with a scowl toward the back hallway. “I think he’s stalling on purpose.”
I laughed as I stowed my purse away and went to assist him. “That’s what you get for being an awesome employee.”
He sniffed moodily and rolled his eyes, then paused working when his phone rang. As he answered, I finished his task for him and moved on to fill some bowls with pub mix.
“No, I haven’t seen it yet,” Brandt told whoever he was talking to on the phone. “Noel called this morning, all freaked out about it, though, demanding to know what happened, but I had no clue Colton had even been in a fight.”
I paused filling bowls and glanced over at him.
“Hold on a sec. I’m at work; I’m gonna put you on speaker phone.” He pushed a button and set his phone one the counter. “Still there?” he asked, as he checked the cash register.
I stopped what I was doing to stare at his phone.
“You should see this fucking shiner, man,” the voice through the phone cried. “It’s fucking impressive. I’m telling you what, my protégé has done me proud, whipping up a black and blue eye like that. Hell, it’s bigger than the one Blondie gave me.”
Brandt snorted. “Are you still claiming she gave you your biggest black eye yet? Shit, the one I gave you was easily twice as big as hers.”
“Was not,” the caller argued. “Your weenie little bitch slap barely left a mark. But whoever got our boy last night got him good. I’m telling you, someone knocked the shit out of him.”
Shaking his head, Brandt frowned thoughtfully. “And he’s still not saying how he got it?”
I swallowed uneasily and took a step backward from Brandt and his conversation with who I decided sounded like his brother-in-law, Ten.
“Nope,” Ten answered. “Just that he got into it with some stupid drunk.”
Turning away, I dug my own phone from my purse and sent off a text.
He answered seconds later.
My heart did a little happy dance. From listening in on Brandt and Ten’s conversation, I’d been so sure Colton still wanted to keep us a secret from his family. After last night, exchanging love-words, keeping secrets from his family didn’t sit so well with me. So learning he and I were actually on the same page was pretty awesome.
I wrote back:
Then I bit my lip and added:
Trying not to jump up and down with excitement, I answered:
This was really happening between us. He was ready to tell his family. I should totally tell my dad. We were going to start a real relationship. It was as thrilling as it was scary.
A new message pinged:
At the other end of the counter, Brandt was finishing his call with Ten so I put my phone away, and we got busy with work.
The doors opened minutes later, and our Saturday evening shift began.
Karaoke night was always a busy one. Pick usually had three bartenders on staff, but we were down on numbers so badly that it was just Brandt and me.
Our customers kept us busy ordering all sorts of drinks.
About halfway through the night, I received a visitor I wasn’t expecting. I’d just handed over a pair of strawberry daiquiris to two girls and was shifting my greeting to the next guy in line, when I looked straight into Shaun’s eyes.
He’d never visited me at work before.
I jerked back, not expecting him.
On stage, someone was wailing out a really awful rendition of “Me Too” by Meghan Trainor. Stepping toward him so he could hear me over the music, I called, “What’re you doing here?”
He leaned over the counter, shifting us even closer. “We need to talk.”
I shook my head. “I’m working. There’s nothing to talk about anyway.”
His eyes narrowed. “I saw who you’re trying to r
eplace me with. A white boy, Julia? Really?”
He’d been the only person to ever call me Julia. It was a pretty name, sure, but not my name, so it’d always annoyed me. A lot of things he did had annoyed me, and I hadn’t realized until later that he’d been trying to reinvent me as someone else the whole time we’d been together—changing my name, telling me how to wear my hair, what clothes he liked me in, all sorts of stupid controlling crap.
Sending him a look full of get the fuck away from me, I repeated, “Like I said, there’s nothing to talk about. Who I date now is none of your fucking business.” I turned away from him, but he growled and lunged forward over the counter to grab my arm, yanking me hard back to him.
“Don’t you fucking turn away from me, bitch.”
“Hey!” Brandt yelled, finally noticing us from his end of the bar. “Hands off, buddy.” He pointed at Shaun as he strode forward, and Shaun immediately let go of me, lifting his hands and straightening away from the bar.
“Out.” Brandt motioned toward the exit, staring Shaun down with a glare. “Get the fuck out and don’t come back.”
After sending me a look that promised retribution, Shaun turned away. I immediately rubbed my wrist, trying to dispel the pain he’d left behind.
Brandt touched my elbow. “Are you okay? What happened? Who was that?”
“I’m fine,” I mumbled, shaking my head and hoping he would drop it. Motioning toward where Shaun was now stalking out the front door, I said, “He’s an ex.”
“Pleasant one,” Brandt answered sarcastically, only for concern to enter his gaze when a freaking tear slipped down my cheek. “Why don’t you take a break?”
I shook my head. It was busy as hell. I wasn’t abandoning him. But when I tried to turn to the next customer awaiting an order, he growled, “Julianna. I’m serious. Go pull yourself back together. You’re shaking. I got this.”
Dammit. I looked down at my hands and they were shaking.
Feeling a little too exposed, I nodded and hurried off. I only spent a couple minutes by myself in the break room, pacing the floor and blowing out calming breaths before I returned to the bar, but it was enough time to straighten my shit out.
Brandt eyed me with concern. “Better?”
I nodded and sent him a bolstered smile. “Yep. Thanks.”
He kept a sharp eagle eye on me for the rest of the night, though. I wanted to snap and tell him to cut it out—it freaking unnerved me. But he was just concerned, and he was my friend—plus Colton’s brother—so I just gritted my teeth and put up with it.
When he walked me to my car after our shift because we were required by Pick to always walk to our cars in the dark with buddies, he said, “I’m going to follow you home.”
I sighed. “You don’t have to do that.” But the look he sent me told me he was going to follow me home anyway. And okay, I kind of appreciated it. I wasn’t too sure whether Shaun would be waiting at my apartment or not. He’d looked pretty pissed earlier.
“Okay, thank you,” I relented.
It was weird having his headlights in my rearview mirror the entire way home, but also comforting. I planned to wave him off as soon as I parked. But he surprised me when he pulled into the spot next to mine.
“What’re you doing?” I asked in alarm when he stepped out of his truck after turning off the engine.
“I’m making sure you get to your door okay.”
“Brandt, seriously.” I let out a small laugh as I glanced around the deadly quiet area between here and my front door. “There’s no need. He’s not here. I’m fine.” Besides, what he was doing reminded me too much of the night Colton had brought me home after I’d seen Shaun at the frat party. It kind of felt like he was ruining my Colton moment by replaying it now with his own.
“Juli, I am making sure you get to your door okay,” he repeated. “End of discussion.”
I sent him an irritated scowl and tried a new route. “What would your wife think?”
The dry look he returned told me just how unimpressed he was by the question. “My wife would kick my ass if I didn’t make sure you got home completely safe and sound.” He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. “You want me to wake her up and prove it to you?”
I groaned and rolled my eyes. “No, don’t bother Sarah. Just… Fine. Whatever. Follow me to my door if it’s that important to you.”
“Good. I will.”
It was an awkward, quiet walk up to my apartment. Brandt stayed a step behind and to my right. Kind of like a bodyguard.
For some reason, I suddenly remembered what Colton had told me about the boy who’d been molested by his mother. It was strange to think of something like that happening to Brandt. And I knew I shouldn’t, but I was suddenly happy it hadn’t been Colton who’d gone through what Brandt had. Colton still carried the guilt of running away that night, but he had a strong constitution. He’d get through it. I was just beyond relieved he hadn’t had to experience it firsthand.
At my door, I paused and glanced back at Brandt, sending him a genuine smile. “Thank you. Even though it was completely unnecessary. I appreciate your concern.”
He looked hesitant to leave as he eyed my door uncertainly. I’ll admit, the entrance to my apartment had seen better days. It could probably be broken through easily.
“Do you want me to look around inside before I go?” he asked.
“No.” Oh, hell no! “I have two roommates who often have their boyfriends over. Don’t worry, there would be too many people inside for him to break in unnoticed.”
Brandt nodded, seemingly relieved, and took a step back. “Well, then…I have a wife to get home to. Goodnight, Juli.”
“Night.”
I stood at the partially opened door and watched him go. He really was a nice guy, but I realized then it never would’ve worked between us.
Back when I’d been Team Brandt, I had thought about him when he wasn’t around, but I hadn’t really obsessed about him in his absence, and most of all, there was no way I’d ever feel comfortable enough to bicker and hiss and be rude to him. I suddenly realized I appreciated that very much about Colton. Not only did I love to express myself openly with my man, but he seemed to relish it, too.
It just worked for us.
Wishing he were here now, asleep in my bed so I could just climb in and curl up with him, I stepped inside and shut and locked the door behind me. When I reached up to hang my keys from the hook, I noticed a note from both of my roommates on the small whiteboard above the key rack. Both of them had decided to stay the night at their boyfriends’ places. Which left me all alone in the apartment.
The hair on my arms instantly lifted in dread, and my neck prickled with unease.
I was alone in my apartment, right?
Dammit, I hated getting the creepy crawlies.
Remembering the anger and retribution that had glowed in Shaun’s gaze when he’d glared at me in the nightclub, I flipped on the big overhead light, no longer worried about waking roommates. Then I grabbed my keys again, clutching them in stabber-position, as I walked through each room, lighting them up as I went.
Shaun was not in my apartment.
Certain I was alone, I backtracked to my room and plopped down on my bed, exhausted yet wired from the adrenaline rush.
Lying on my back, I stared up at my ceiling a few seconds and craned my head just enough to see my favorite dream catcher dangling from the wall directly above me.
When I’d been little, my father had told me it would keep the bad dreams away. But for me, it had also seemed to help nurture the good dreams. All of them had inspired a kind of hope inside me, goals for the future, something to look forward to and wish upon. For the longest time, those dreams had been pride-driven. I’d wanted to aspire to something to be proud of like a successful businesswoman. I’d wanted a life I could look back upon when I was old and gray and know I had worked hard for and deserved what I had. Even when I’d met and married Shaun once upon a time, m
y dreams had been about what kind of image I wanted to project with him.
I think that was why it hadn’t worked with us—well, aside from his temper and unfaithfulness—but from my part, I hadn’t thought of him and me as a team working together. We’d been two people with totally separate lives and agendas apart from each other. It was like he’d been someone to help me fill the image I’d wanted.
Looking back now, I realized that was all it had been: an image, not some real-life corporeal bond. There’d been no substance, nothing to really grab on to and dig my fingers into in order to keep us together. Maybe it had all been my fault then that we hadn’t lasted because I had viewed our relationship wrong. Then again, it was probably best I hadn’t because the guy was an ass, and spending the rest of my life with him would’ve made me miserable.
Besides, there was Colton now.
Colton.
My stomach swirled with excitement just thinking about him.
I hadn’t been with him long, but I already knew him better than I’d ever known Shaun. And it felt as if he’d already become a part of me, like... I don’t even know. I had no idea how to explain it. I just…my entire way of thinking had changed since meeting him. He made me view life and myself in an entirely new way.
Heck, I’d caught myself earlier deliberating what I was going to do when I graduated, and it no longer involved immediately leaving Ellamore to find a job, make a success of myself and show the world I was worth something. Now I kind of wanted to hang around and see if I could find something nearby because this was where Colton was. I was happy and content with him and didn’t care so much if I showed the world anything spectacular. I liked being happy and content better.
It kind of scared me how quickly all this had come about, and yet it also settled something in me. It felt as if I’d finally found my home.
Missing him, I grabbed my phone and scrolled up through our text message history, grinning fondly over his wit and playfulness. When I came to the line that said, “I love you too,” I paused, my chest full and heavy with joy.