by Tijan
I leaned forward, knowing what he wanted.
He lifted my shirt enough to put it against my back. “It’s fine. I think we both forgot you were here, actually. We haven’t wrestled like that forever.”
A pause.
“Deep breath.”
I breathed deep.
“Exhale. Slowly.”
I exhaled. Slowly.
“And another.”
We repeated the process another three times before he moved to my front, his face looking away as he listened.
He was moving back, his stethoscope hanging around his neck when the door opened again.
Kai came in first, with Tanner behind him.
I felt zapped by his presence, and I sat up straight.
“You okay?” Kai’s concerned eyes looked me over, lingering where my shirt was pulled down an inch before frowning and sliding his gaze to his brother. “Is she okay?”
“You said she was outside in the rain the other night?”
Kai nodded, standing against the couch, right behind me.
I tried to ignore him.
My heartbeat skyrocketed.
Being around Kai was stressful.
“She was. You think she got sick from that?”
Jonah gazed at me, frowning. “Yeah, maybe. She’s got some wheezing in her lungs. Plus, she’s been under a lot of stress.”
See?
“It might’ve worn down her immune system.” A hard look entered his eyes, and in that moment, he looked almost exactly like Kai. He scowled at his brother. “Lay off her. Whatever you have planned, just stop. She needs rest and relaxation, and being here, being around you isn’t doing it. You’re wearing her down. Literally.”
“Hey…” Tanner moved to stand between the two.
But Kai nodded, pulling away from the couch. “Okay.”
“Okay?” Tanner and Jonah parroted him together, their eyebrows raising.
“You shitting me?” Tanner added.
Jonah only said, “Good.”
“I have to fly stateside anyway.”
That got all our attention.
“Why?” asked Tanner.
“Did something happen?” Jonah said.
“Did you find her?” I chimed in.
Tanner and Jonah turned to look at me.
“What?” came a gargled sound from Tanner.
Jonah got quiet, stepping back.
Kai ignored them. “Maybe,” he said to me.
My heart sank and leaped all at the same time. Maybe Jonah was right. Maybe I needed to stay away from Kai…and then I remembered it wasn’t my decision!
I was being held there, against my wishes, because of someone I used to love. And if he’d found her, it was because of me.
And I still didn’t know who to trust: Brooke or Kai.
Suddenly, I felt lower than low.
“Can I have a minute with Riley?” Kai asked.
“Yeah.” Jonah nodded.
“Sure.”
The last was Tanner, a gruff edge in his voice, but he followed Jonah. Jonah left his bag on the kitchenette counter, and I heard them moving for the door.
It shut quietly, and I could feel the emptiness left behind. The air felt more open, but also stifling.
Kai came around to sit on the edge of the couch, diagonal from where I was.
I didn’t look at him. I didn’t need to. I could feel every movement he made, every look he sent my way, every time he started to say something and didn’t. Which he did, three times, while I sat waiting.
I swallowed over a knot. “You found her, didn’t you?”
I’d done that.
“We found him. I told them not to move, in case she’s there. I need to be the one she sees first. She has to see I’m not going to do anything to harm her or her boyfriend.”
My heart squeezed.
He sounded so genuine.
“Are you lying to me?” I still didn’t trust myself to look at him.
“No.”
Another squeeze.
“I did that.” Those words wrung out of me. Fuck it. “I gave her up. If you hurt her, I swear…” I glared at him, flinching when I saw concern in his eyes, the bags under them. “I will kill you,” I finished.
There was no heat to my words, just promise.
He waited a beat, then nodded. “I believe you will.” A trace of amusement lingered in his tone. “I told you I’d murder you if you told anyone what I said before. I mean that too.”
I still glared at him, but I remembered.
He would murder me. I would kill him.
Fuck, we were almost perfect for each other—NO! No. No. NO. I would not think like that.
I forced myself to look away, feeling like I had to break cement to do it. “What will you do if it’s her and she’s fine?” What will happen to me?
He seemed to know what I was really asking because he replied, “You can go back to your life. Like normal.”
Except nothing would be normal now.
“Are you going to be okay?” he asked.
I pulled a blanket over my lap. “I’ll be fine. I’ll sleep and get better.” I gestured to Jonah’s bag. “There’s a doctor here. That helps.”
“Yeah.”
I knew without looking that he was rubbing a hand over his mouth. He was deep in thought; he was going to change something, I was about to be put through the wringer again.
“I was going to bring Jonah with me,” he said.
“What?”
I looked at him, and I was caught. His eyes captured mine.
“In case Brooke needs medical attention.”
“Oh.” Guilt flared in my chest, warming me. “That’s a good idea, actually.”
He shook his head. “No. He can stay here. I’ll bring someone else.”
Of course. Again. What was one doctor to the head of a mafia family? He probably had a whole slew of them to call—EMTs, nurses, nurse assistants even.
And what was I doing here?
I was envisioning a gorgeous Grey’s Anatomy-like female doctor—street and academically smart, gorgeous, who could save lives with nothing more than a straw. That’s who he’d call to travel with him.
Nope. No jealousy here.
“Just be careful,” I heard myself say when Kai stood up.
He stopped in surprise, but I pushed up from the couch and went to the bedroom, shutting the door with way more oomph than it required.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
It was three in the morning.
I heard a soft knock at my wing door, followed by bad déjà vu. I pulled on a wrap, went to the door, and opened it.
Kai stood on the other side.
No guards. Just him.
The hallway light had been dimmed to a soft glow, and he leaned back against the wall, his hands in his pockets, his head down as he waited. He didn’t move, just raised those piercing eyes and asked, “Can I come in?”
My hand tightened on the doorknob. “I thought you’d left already.”
“I’m going in an hour.” He nodded behind me, his voice almost gentle. “Can I come in?”
Want swept through me, filling me, heating me.
Desire had been present between us for a long time, longer than I’d guess either of us wanted. And it was so strong at this moment, maybe it was because I knew he was leaving again, maybe it was the time of night, maybe it was because my walls were down for whatever reason. I tried to erect them, but I couldn’t.
I just wanted him. It filled me so completely that it stopped me from talking for a second.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
There it was. I said it out loud.
He expelled a ragged breath. “Maybe not, but I’d like to come in anyway.”
God.
An ache throbbed in me, and I fought against actually panting. This was ridiculous, but I eased back and moved into the living room.
I didn’t sit. Something told me I should remain standing.
“I’m about to get on a plane—”
A plane?
“—and when I land, I’m going to have to do bad things.”
The alarm that had crept up me when he mentioned the plane shifted to a different alarm, a foreboding one. He was warning me.
“I’d imagine. Levi gave up someone the FBI was protecting, right?”
He didn’t answer.
My guess was right.
“And if your sister is with him, you’ll take them both.”
His eyes rose, holding mine.
I felt almost brazen now. “And if your sister isn’t with him, you’ll still take him. Just him.” My mouth parted. My throat constricted.
I was playing a dangerous game, baiting him, but my God, he’d come to me. He brought me here. He’d pulled me into this in the first place.
“And you’ll use him to force your sister to come to you. Right?” I didn’t wait for his answer. “How?” I bit that word out as a demand, jerking toward him. My hands balled into fists at my legs. “How will you let her know you have him?”
He waited for me to finish. His eyes were heated, smoldering. I ignored it. A tingling spread through me, starting at the base of my neck. It intertwined with my dangerous addiction to pushing the envelope, walking the line, seeing how far I could go without toppling over a cliff.
Kai was the cliff.
I just wanted to fall free. Away from him. To him. In his arms. I wanted all of it, and my chest heaved.
I closed in so I was only a foot from him. “It won’t matter. None of it. You might find your sister. You might force her into coming back to your fold, but if you threaten the man she loves, you’ll have broken her. You’ll have broken whatever childlike and pure bond there was between you and her as siblings.” I took a step. “She’ll never look at you the same way.” A second step. My voice lowered, but it held venom. “But maybe you’ve already done that. Maybe you’ve already killed whatever allows a little sister to adore her older brother? This is just par for the cour—”
His hand slid around my neck, cupping the back of my head, and I stopped talking.
Every tendon in me stretched tight.
My pulse raced.
My mouth parted again.
The ache inside of me was agonizing.
I wanted him.
I couldn’t deny it. I’d stopped lying to myself, but I still felt utter disdain for what he did, for who he had to be.
He pulled me to him, sliding my wrap down to fall on the floor. His eyes bored down into mine, just a few inches separating us, and I could feel how he held me suspended.
I felt his pulse too. It was as fast as mine.
“You may hate me. You may loathe me.” His hand slid back from my neck and moved down agonizingly slowly, between my breasts to my stomach.
I gasped, and he slid his hand under my pajama shorts until they rested over my clit. I surged upward at his touch, my head falling back, everything in me starting to tremble.
One of his fingers dipped inside of me. “But you goddamn want me.” And with that, a second finger joined his first and he took hold of my tank, his mouth slamming down on mine.
It shouldn’t have been like this.
I was writhing.
I shouldn’t feel the fire he’d just doused with gasoline ignite inside of me.
When his lips touched mine, flames surged, and I gasped into his mouth. His tongue slid inside. Everything exploded, and I felt his tongue searching for mine as his fingers began to thrust. I was coming undone, and all I wanted was to get closer, my fingers sinking into his chest and arms, then sliding around to his back.
I climbed up on him, and he growled, grabbing my leg and turning to shove me against the wall.
Holy hell.
His mouth took, but it savored and gave at the same time. He commanded me, taking ownership of me, but then he pulled back and softly grazed my lips.
I moaned, following him with my mouth.
I wanted more. I needed more.
“Fuck,” he moaned. His hand slid down my neck, pushing my top farther down, and his fingers moved over my breast, cupping me.
This was wrong.
My body didn’t care.
I was overheating, and I rested my head against the wall, falling back. I could only gasp for air as he moved down. He kissed under my bottom lip, his mouth tasting my jaw and scorching a path to my throat and down between my breasts until he circled over my nipple. He teased me, brushing his lips over me, then following with a sweep of his tongue.
I took a fistful of his hair and held him to me.
His eyes widened in surprise as he saw the need in me.
Lifting his head, he let me slip down in his arms until we were face to face. He watched me. I watched him. Holding me, he rocked into me over and over, his fingers flexing inside.
I wanted more.
His eyes softened and he slowed down, his lips nipping mine.
I bit back a whimper.
He nipped again, his gaze almost black with desire. But he held back, making me almost blind for him.
“You’re killing me.” I couldn’t hold it in. I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and pushed against his hand.
A third finger joined the others, and I leaned back, my throat exposed to him. I grasped his hand to make him move faster, and he chuckled softly. He thrust into me, stretching me, filling me as his lips found my throat.
I felt fused to him, and I wanted him to keep moving.
He held back a moment before his fingers twitched.
“Ah!” I gasped. “You just want…?” I felt the scrape of his teeth and froze, a bubble of air caught in my throat.
He thrust hard, growling, “You don’t know what I want.”
“Kai!”
His palm grazed over my clit. He rubbed against it, his fingers finally, finally moving. Sliding out, then pushing in.
His mouth moved back up to take mine again.
I felt enslaved to him.
He continued thrusting, slowly, going deeper and deeper.
A frustrated gasp left me, and I snapped my legs around his waist. I arched my back, grinding on his hand. He held me tight as I began to ride him.
“Please. God!”
His mouth closed over mine before he whispered, “Not. Even. Close.”
Then he began to fuck me, his lips drowning out my sounds. I grew frenzied, but still he took his time, coaxing me with kisses, his fingers. His hand tweaked my nipple before he pulled his mouth away. His lips covered me there as he grabbed my waist. His hand slid around as he pressed his groin close. He anchored me against the door and played my goddamn body like an instrument.
He strummed as his fingers pushed in.
He tapped out a beat as he pulled back out.
He kept the perfect pressure on me, and I jerked in his arms, my mouth ripping from his as an onslaught of waves crashed through me. I hurtled over that edge, but he didn’t let me slow down. He started right back up, and it wasn’t long before a choking scream ripped from my throat as I came a second time.
My body went limp. I was a puddle in his arms. Every bone in me had melted.
He held me up as I collapsed against his shoulder. Moving away from the door, he cradled my ass and the back of my neck. He walked me to my bedroom.
He laid me on the bed and stood over me, gazing down.
I must’ve looked wanton. My top was still shoved aside, my breast exposed, and my pajama pants had fallen low on my hips. My thong had been pulled over for his entrance.
I didn’t cover myself. He took me in, looking from my legs, to my pussy, to my stomach, then up to my breasts and lips before finally meeting my eyes, his jaw clenched. His eyes were stormy, inflamed.
It awoke a calm in me, and I slid sensually over the bed. I had him captive now
.
He tracked every move I made.
My gaze went to his pants, to the bulge there, the one I’d felt under me, straining.
I sat up, my strap falling off my shoulder, and moved to the edge of the bed, feeling a new throb in me.
He remained silent, watching me as I grabbed his jeans.
I pulled him forward, my hand resting over him. I looked up, meeting his gaze as I undid the button at the top, then slid down his zipper. I reached in, finding his cock, and I wrapped my fingers around it.
He hissed, his eyelids falling low but still watching me.
I brought him out and moved to take him in my mouth.
“No.” He grabbed me, holding me still, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
“I didn’t come for that.” A bleakness shone in his eyes, before vanishing. “I want you to come with me.”
I sat back.
He leaned down, slid a finger up my arm and pulled up my strap until I was covered. He adjusted my pants next, but first he slid his palm down my stomach, under my thong to bring it back in place. He arranged everything until I was covered.
Expelling a sharp hiss, he fastened his jeans back up and sat next to me. The side of his leg and arm brushed mine.
Facing forward, his head dipped down. “I came here tonight to ask you to come with me. I don’t usually fly with loved ones, and you’re included there.”
I—what?
“Brooke loves you, and I know Tanner and Jonah are fond of you. No matter the circumstances of you coming here, you are considered a friend of the family.”
I felt him watching me, but I focused on my lap.
“That means something to me. If I find Brooke, she won’t travel back with me on a plane. I’ll have her driven back. It’s longer, but…”
He didn’t have to say anything.
They’d lost Cord on a plane. He didn’t want to risk Brooke.
“I get it.”
“But,” he said sharply, “it’s too long a trip for me. I have to fly, so I’m making an exception. I’d like you to come with me.”
“Where are you going?”
“New York.”
I frowned. “Levi is being kept in New York?”
“Outside of New York, yes.”
“Oh.” My frown deepened. I picked at my pants, smoothing out wrinkles that weren’t there. My mind raced.