by Tijan
As he came, he never looked away. His eyes held mine, memorizing me, burning into me. Something told me to hold my words, to feel, to be present, to be here with him because something was going to happen. Something bad. Something that would take him away. But none of that mattered today. This was him and me.
The loathing and disgust, the feeling of compromise, I set that all aside.
It was as if this day was special, as if it would hold a place in our memories forever.
Around six that night, I sank down on him, my breasts on display for him to feast from, and I let my head fall back. He pushed up into me, and anchoring a hand to his chest, I began to roll back and forth.
I rode him.
His hands grasped my ass, his fingers pushing into my skin enough to leave handprints, and he growled, sitting up underneath me. His mouth latched onto one of my nipples. He sucked, and licked, and tasted, and I kept riding, moving faster and faster.
Reaching around me, he slid a hand up the middle of my back. Goosebumps broke out over my skin just before he wrapped a tendril of my hair around his finger.
“Wha—”
He tugged on it, holding my head back.
I kept moving on him, taking him in deep, clenching around him, but I looked to see what he was doing.
His hand tightened even more.
“Kai!” A breathy groan from me.
Another savage growl erupted from him. I felt it all the way in my pussy. Letting go of my hair, his hands went to my hips. He lifted me, setting me on my knees, and moved behind me. Fitting between my legs, he arched me farther up for him and thrust in from behind.
“Kai…” Another groan as the sensations of him moving in me built, heating me. I’d never had this much pleasure, not all at once, not in one day, and I felt like I could scream until I had no more voice.
My body tightened. I felt it coming.
He kept stretching me, digging deeper, then pausing, rotating inside, and finally I erupted.
“AGH!” The first waves crashed inside of me, then another, and another round of waves. My body convulsed until I settled back and realized I was still kneeling.
Kai had a firm arm wrapped around my waist, holding me up as he continued to pump inside of me.
He hadn’t come yet.
“Kai.” I took his hand, lifting it from my waist and pressing a kiss to it. Then I leaned forward, giving him a better angle. “Fuck me.”
He gripped my thigh as he began to do as I said.
He fucked me hard.
As he finished, he held still inside me. I felt his body trembling, but he didn’t pull out. He kissed my shoulder, running a lazy hand down my back.
“I can’t get enough of this.” He said it as if he were talking to himself, a quiet murmur. But he held me firm and dropped a second kiss to my forehead before pulling out, and we fell to the bed together.
He wrapped himself around me, his entire body stretching as he yawned against the back of my shoulder. “God, Riley.”
I felt his forehead press to the back of my neck. And as before, spoken as if I wasn’t supposed to hear him, he murmured, “How am I supposed to let you go?”
I didn’t answer him.
I couldn’t.
I didn’t know myself.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
“Well, hello there.”
A dark greeting alerted everyone in the kitchen to my presence.
Tanner stood by the kitchen counter, a glass in hand. He smirked and tilted his head, giving me a knowing look. “What a coincidence. You were in bed all day. Kai just ‘arrived’ even though we saw his guards earlier.” His mouth flattened.
There was an ugly glint in his eyes, but he took a sip from his drink and looked away as Brooke came toward me.
“How are you feeling?”
She was happy to see me.
Tanner wasn’t.
I glanced over. Jonah appeared from a back hallway, his bag in hand. He saw me and motioned for me to go to the table. As I did, he came over, set down that bag, and began to check me over. Once he had his stethoscope inside my shirt and had leaned over me, Kai chose that moment to walk in.
He paused, looking at us, until Brooke’s voice broke the silence.
“Kai!”
She and Tanner had gone back to the counter. She was making drinks for everyone.
No one had asked. She volunteered.
She grabbed something she declared was a pumpkin-tini and brought it over, full of smiles. “Big brother returns.” She pushed the glass into his hand and kissed his cheek. “We’ve missed you.” She patted his cheek and turned back to her drinks.
Tanner picked his up and raised it to his mouth with the same smug and taunting look in his eyes. “When’d you get in?” he asked. “I know your guards showed up at ten this morning.” He waited a beat, his eyes sliding to me and back. “Or did you come much later?”
What Tanner said was disrespectful, a challenge. It wasn’t meant in a teasing manner. Everyone in the room knew Tanner had sent a shot in Kai’s direction.
To say I was mildly curious about how this would go down—yeah, that was an understatement.
Even Jonah stopped assessing me.
He pulled his stethoscope out and stepped back to watch.
Kai wore an Oxford blue Henley shirt, the sleeves pushed up to bunch around his elbows, and jeans that molded over his powerful legs. His hair was tousled, and the whole look made my mouth water.
Tanner had on ripped and trendy jeans with a white fleece hoodie, and his hair was combed back. His eyes were angry, a dangerous note in them, but as he gazed at his brother, that look lessened.
Kai didn’t react. He didn’t blink. He barely moved, and yet real danger began swimming around him. The air in the room grew tense, thick and oppressive, and it was all because of Kai. His dark eyes blackened, and his lips thinned, and he reached over to fiddle with one of his sleeves.
He spoke almost casually. “What’s your problem, brother?” He didn’t look at me, but directly at Tanner. “Is it that I might be sleeping with her? Or is it that you’re only second in charge?” He took a step closer, his nostrils flaring. The casual air evaporated. His lip lifted in a sneer.
He was done messing around.
“Let’s not forget the fact that I’m the one who murdered him.” He paused. “For us.”
Jonah stepped away from me. I heard a quiet, “Shit,” under his breath.
Brooke’s eyes were focused on the floor, her hands laced together in front of her.
No one said a word. This fight was between Tanner and Kai.
I couldn’t speak about the other stuff, but I could talk about myself. I rose and cleared my throat.
Jonah frowned at me. Everyone frowned at me.
I ignored all of them and said to Tanner, “If I am sleeping with your brother, I don’t understand how that’s your business.”
Tanner snorted. “You kidding? How is it not our business?” He flung a hand in Kai’s direction. “You never should’ve been pulled in in the first place.”
“Uh, hello?” Brooke shook her head, blinking. “I pulled her in, not Kai.” She held a hand out. “If you’re going to blame anyone for Riley, that should land on me.”
Tanner turned to her. “You didn’t know what you were doing. Kai—”
“Kai,” Brooke raised her voice, speaking over her brother, “was following a lead. That was it. I pulled her in.” She tapped her chest. “Me. I did that. Not Kai, and of course he’s going to follow up. She works for the 411 Network. Their whole mission is helping people disappear. If he’d showed up and asked all nice, there’s no way she would’ve helped.” She snorted. “Kai had no other choice, and you know it.”
Tanner glared at her. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”
“No.” She held her hands up, palms toward him. “At this point, I’m on Riley’s side. You all love me. For her, I have to make it right. Sorry. Don’t ask for blind support, because you a
in’t getting it from me, not in this instance.”
Tanner rotated his head, seeking out Jonah.
“Uh…” Jonah laughed beside me. “Not here, brother. Not with this one.”
Tanner cursed. “You both suck.” He looked at Kai, then me. “You all suck.”
Kai sighed, his shoulders suddenly relaxing. “You’re not angry at me for pulling in Riley. You’re not angry that I’m sleeping with her. You’re not even angry that Brooke ran away.” He went to the kitchen counter, putting down the drink Brooke had given him and pouring himself a glass of bourbon. “You’re mad because you don’t want to be a Bennett, but you are.” His tone went soft. “We all are.”
I held my breath as I gazed around the room.
There were identical expressions of resignation on all of them. The only one who had a flicker of mutiny was Tanner, but after staring down Kai for another beat, that flame went out.
He lowered his head, tightening his hold on his drink, and tossed it back. “Fuck that.”
He dropped the glass on the counter, letting it slide and bounce toward Brooke, who caught it before it could shatter on the floor. Grabbing the rum, he left the room.
“Fuck you all,” he added as he disappeared.
After a moment, Kai came over to the table.
“She’s okay?” he asked Jonah.
Jonah was looking the direction Tanner had gone, but he turned his attention to Kai. “Yes. Yes.” He blinked a few times, shaking his head. “She seems fine, better than how she was at the house. She needs lots of liquids and rest.” He pointed where Tanner had gone. “Is he going to be a problem? Because, I mean…” He glanced at Brooke. “We’re all Bennetts. I hate this too, but it is what it is.”
Kai was looking at me, his eyes warming. “No. He’ll be fine.”
“Kai—” Jonah started.
“I’ll handle him. Remember, you and Brooke get a semblance of a normal life. He doesn’t even get that.”
There was a lot I didn’t understand, and a part of me was dying to know more, but another part was just glad nothing else had happened.
Kai nodded toward me. “Just make sure she’s all right.” He left without a word to anyone else.
Brooke waited a moment before picking up two glasses and bringing them over to us. She perched at the table, wide and eager eyes darting between Jonah and me.
“Is now the wrong time to tell you Levi proposed to me before?”
Jonah had picked up his stethoscope, but it clattered to the table. He pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning. “Brooke. For fuck’s sake.”
“What?”
She looked between us, asking again. “Bad timing?” She lifted a shoulder, still smiling, and changed topics.
“So, you’re fucking my brother?”
• • •
“Do I want to know what that was all about?” I asked Kai later in his study.
I’d stayed downstairs with Jonah and Brooke. Brooke kept inventing new drinks, making us try them, and he and I spent most of the time playing rock/paper/scissors to see who’d do the tasting.
Jonah took most because he kept insisting I needed water, not booze, but I still participated. I had a good buzz going by the time I went to find Kai.
The study was bathed in a deep pine aroma, which fit with the massive paintings of forests and mountains hanging on the wall. A tan-colored rock chimney climbed the far wall.
I’d come into the room on the first floor, but I looked up to see the second floor lofted above. The entire back side of the room was floor-to-ceiling bookshelves—a book lover’s paradise.
Kai sat behind a grand desk facing the chimney, the rest of the room, and where I’d come in through the doorway.
I’d asked about earlier as I walked into the room, but I had a different question in mind now. “You don’t have a ladder that I can use to swing from one side of those books to the other, do you?”
He stood. “No. Why?”
I shrugged, walking in a circle to take everything in. “No reason, just a fantasy from another world.”
He came to stand next to me, but slid his hands into his pockets.
I wished he had moved closer. I wished he would touch me, but he didn’t so I didn’t, and things felt confusing for a moment.
He watched me, his eyebrows raised. “You’re drunk?”
“Tipsy.” A pause. “More than tipsy.”
“Brooke’s influence.” He sighed.
“Yes.” I nodded. “But also yours, Jonah’s, even Tanner’s. And mine. I decided to be Brooke’s test bunny.”
Now he smiled. “Test bunny? I’ve not heard that phrase.”
I lifted a shoulder. “I like it better than guinea pig. But I like guinea pigs too. They’re funny when they run and hop. Did you know they did that?”
“I didn’t, no.” His mouth wasn’t smiling anymore, but his eyes were.
I began to feel self-conscious, but in a good way, because someone I liked was giving me attention and making me happy. Butterflies were out en masse.
“I haven’t felt those in forever.”
“Those what?” Kai tipped his head, a little tilt to his mouth. He was enjoying this conversation.
I flattened my hand over my stomach. “Nothing.” I grinned, looking down. I could feel my face getting hot. “Nothing.”
“You’re teasing me.” There was a lilt of a laugh in those words. “I don’t remember the last time someone teased me.”
I’d hit his arm before I realized it. Then I blanched. “Oh—oh! Hi.” My face had to be beet red by now.
That’s when the laughter started.
And once I started, I couldn’t stop. I laughed enough that I needed to hold on to Kai’s arm.
“I”—ha!—“don’t”—hee hee—“know what’s”—snort—“gotten into”—hiccup—“me!” I gasped, sucking in air to try to drown both things at once. Once I started hiccupping, it was the same result. I was done for.
Kai stared as if my skin had turned green. Patting my back, he asked, “Am I supposed to scare you? Something with peanut butter?”
That made me laugh harder.
I shook my head, holding a hand up, which he took in his.
God. That made me swoon and laugh at the same time.
This was not something Kai had dealt with before; that was obvious. Finally, with tears streaking down my cheeks, I was able to respond. And I was officially embarrassed. I’d never laughed like this, not even with Blade or Carol.
“Sorry. So sorry. I’m under control again.”
I pulled my hand from his and rested it on his chest.
This felt good. This felt right, standing here, so close, just being normal.
I swallowed over a sudden lump.
“Sorry.” I wiped the back of my hand over my cheek.
He used his thumbs to clear the rest of my tears away. His heart picked up under my hand, and I tipped my head up, our mouths so close together, but so far apart at the same time.
He just needed to lower his an inch, or I could’ve leaned up, and our lips would’ve met.
Heat rushed through me, spiking my pulse.
He lifted his hand, touching where a lone tear lingered at the corner of my mouth. “You’re happy tonight.”
Yes. In some ways. I tilted my head back, meeting his gaze. “It was like old times with Brooke. She’s happy.”
He nodded, his eyes falling to my lips. “And that makes you happy?”
“I was hurt by her lying to me, but yeah. It does.” My throat swelled as I remembered my time with her. “She made me feel normal when I roomed with her.”
But it was more than that.
“She didn’t look at me with guilt or fear, or like she knew a secret about me that I didn’t know myself,” I continued. “That’s what all the adults did, and I wasn’t allowed friends. Not really. My mom didn’t want anyone at the house, and my dad didn’t want me at other people’s houses. He couldn’t control what I’d say.” I n
odded to myself. A smile tugged at my lips. “Brooke was my first friend. She was the first to give a damn.”
“And I took her away.”
My eyes lifted to his, but I didn’t see regret or pity. Just understanding. I felt it inside of me, deep in my core.
I spread my fingers out over his chest, enjoying the feel of that thump-thump-thump. Strong and firm. Like Kai himself. Assured. Confident. He damn well knew what he wanted, and he would take it, or do it, or demand it—no matter what anyone said. He was going to do what he was going to do, and everyone else better get out of the fucking way.
I envied that about him.
If I’d been like him… Pain sliced through me.
I wasn’t in this room anymore. I was back there, back on the day they’d told me she was gone.
Now. Now was the time to tell him. There was no more hesitating or second thoughts. I couldn’t doubt myself, because it was time for him to pay.
“I want to help you hurt my father,” I told Kai. Hardening, I said again, “I want to help you kill my father.”
His eyes darkened. “I’m going to kill your father regardless.”
“You said you would help me before.”
“That was before he turned one of my guards against me, before he sent him to you. He changed the rules of the game. I’m taking him down.”
He began to move away. I grabbed his wrist and stepped in to him, bringing our bodies in contact. “But I want to help.”
He gazed at me for a long time before he gently extricated his wrist from my hand. He cupped the side of my face instead.
He said, “No.”
And he walked out of the room.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
“No?” I walked right after him.
“I said no,” he tossed over his shoulder, going down a hallway.
“I want to know why.”
He took a back hallway to the kitchen. Brooke and Jonah were still in there. They’d moved to the table, two bottles of wine and a box of pizza open between them. Their conversation paused as we came in.
“You’re not ready,” Kai said as he turned the corner.
“What do you mean I’m not ready?”