by Tijan
“I want to see for myself,” the owner said after a moment.
Swallowing my amusement, I climbed out of bed. It was time to go anyway. We’d stayed in this cocoon for as long as we could. Her presence just brought the inevitable. I hurried to dress and wash up, grabbing the little I had pulled out of my bags and stuffing it back in. I gazed around the room, still hearing the owner arguing with Kai.
I snagged what he’d left behind, but it wasn’t much.
I went to the door.
“—assure you, I—” Kai stopped when I opened it.
The guard moved aside.
Kai took in my bags and nodded behind me. That guard slipped inside, and I knew he was clearing the room, making sure nothing was left behind.
“Mrs. Gambles.” I had a wide smile on my face and held out my hand. “Thank you for letting me stay.” I nodded toward Kai. “But you can see it’s probably time to go.”
She looked over the crowd of men in her hallway.
“You in trouble? Why are all these strange men here?”
“Everything’s fine. I promise. I paid for the night, yes?”
“You did.” Her tone was still untrusting. “I won’t hesitate to call the police, you know.” She stared hard at Kai.
“No! No.” I took Kai’s hand. “We’re good. Thank you.”
Kai glared at her, seeming a bit bewildered.
I tugged him behind me as I started down the hall, the guards jumping into action. They led the way, two falling in behind us, and I was even more mortified when I saw some of the other customers standing in the living room, their mouths gaping at the whole show. Three SUVs were parked on the curb, waiting for us as we left the house. As we approached, the door opened on the one in the back.
I went in first, Kai’s hand on the small of my back to guide me.
We waited for the last of the guards. A minute later, he came out and got into the front seat of our SUV. He twisted around, holding out what I’d completely forgotten.
My gun box.
My stomach sank.
CHAPTER FIFTY
“You were going to shoot your father?” Kai finally asked. He’d been silent during the car ride here.
We were in house number thirteen million, but it wasn’t really a house. It was more of a warehouse somewhere outside Milwaukee with the upper floors renovated into living space. That was our domain. All the guards were beneath us and around us.
I ignored Kai, dumping my bags on a couch and wandering around. There was a loft set above, but the main living floor was large. At one end, I was surprised to see a sliding door with a deck attached. It overlooked the lake, and we were quite a ways north of the city.
We were almost in our own world. Again.
“Riley!” Kai snapped from behind me, banging something down on the table.
I jumped, looking back.
His neck was tense, every muscle rigid. His jaw clenched.
I gave in, wandering back. “Yes.”
“Elaborate.”
I raked my hands through my hair, then hugged myself. “Blade offered me the gun, and I took it. I wasn’t totally sure what I wanted to do when I saw my dad, but I took it to shoot him.” I frowned. “Why are you mad about that? You’ve offered the exact thing, for me to kill my father.”
He didn’t answer, just stared at me as he breathed out through his nostrils. “I need a fucking drink.”
I followed him into the kitchen area. “You’re confusing the fuck out of me.”
He ignored me, opening a cupboard, slamming it shut. He moved to the next and repeated the same vicious motions.
“What’s going on with you—”
“You!” He whirled toward me, his face twisted. “You. You’re what’s wrong.”
I fell back a step, feeling slapped in the back. “What? But—”
He picked up a glass and threw it against the wall. It shattered into pieces, falling to the floor.
My mouth fell right alongside it. “What is wrong with you?!”
“You—”
“Yeah,” I cut him off this time, surging forward. “You said that already. Me. I’m wrong. But it’s not me. It’s you. This is what you’ve said since the beginning. You wanted me against my father. You offered to bring him to me to be killed. Then you said you would kill him anyway. Now you want to use me against him, and what?” I flung my arms out wide. “Why are you shocked that I brought a gun to actually do it?!”
“Because it’s you!” he yelled. “It’s you.” He lowered his voice, his hand raking through his hair. When he looked back at me his eyes were stricken, haunted.
He paused, and when he spoke again it was almost a whisper. “Because—because I’ve fal—I care about you. I more than care, and I don’t know what the fuck to do about that.”
Those words almost shoved me on my ass. “What?”
He twisted around, both his hands in his hair again, his shirt stretching over his back. “Yes! Everything you’re saying makes sense. Killing is something I don’t think about anymore. I wish I did. I wish…” He snarled. “I wish I gave a damn about who I kill. It’s him or us. That’s how—”
“Him?” I said faintly.
“What?”
“You said him or us.”
He frowned. “Us or them. It’s us or them. That’s how I grew up. That’s how we Bennetts are.”
“No.” I shook my head. “You said him or us. Who’s him?”
But I knew. My gut was twisting on it.
I gentled my question, “Who’s him, Kai?”
He couldn’t look away. He flinched. He tried to turn away, but I hurried over and caught him. I touched the side of his face, holding him in place.
“Who, Kai?” He had to say it. “Who? Say his name.”
He jerked out of my grasp, walking away.
“Kai!”
“What?” He flung his hands out, stopping. But he didn’t turn around.
“Turn around.”
He didn’t. He didn’t respond either.
“Kai.”
He took another step. Here we were again. I was chasing him. I was following him.
“Kai.” I sighed. “Look at me.”
“Why?”
He did, though. He looked, with sheer defeat on his face. Every inch of him looked like it’d been through the wringer, as if a truck had hit him.
“Why?” he said again. “This isn’t goddamn therapy. You know who I meant. You know who the monster was who created me. You called me a monster before. Well, I learned how to be one from someone.”
His eyes narrowed, a dangerous spark in them. He started for me, slowly.
“A monster created you too, but you didn’t turn into one. I’m about to do that for him,” he spat. “I’m taking you into my world, little by little. And you’re coming.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You’re supposed to fight me on it. You’re not supposed to come, but you are. One touch and you fold for me, and a part of me loves it. I thrive on it, but a part of me hates it. A part of me is disgusted when I touch you.”
I flinched. He was disgusted when he touched me?
“I am everything that’s bad in this world. You are everything that’s good, and I am turning you into me.” He choked out, “I hate myself when I look at you. You reflect everything wrong in me, every time I’m inside of you.”
His words were like whips, cutting into me, but there was goodness too. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to breathe out through my nose, forcing myself to focus on the good. There was good.
There had to be.
Find it. Cling to it.
Keep it.
Maybe he was making me bad, but I was making him good.
There was this fight, this dance between us. Good versus evil—but I wasn’t perfect, and Kai wasn’t evil. He just did evil things. He was good that had been twisted into something darker.
I didn’t know what to say to any of that, so I went with what I knew to be true.
&
nbsp; “I care about you too.”
“Don’t, Riley.”
I shook my head. “I care about you, and I know I’m changing, but I can’t stop it because I care about you.” He intoxicated me. “I more than care about you—enough to see this through.”
And here was another truth. If I walked from him now, I would be shattered.
I turned to that glass, broken in pieces. That would be me if I walked, if he walked, and it was fast becoming too pronounced for me to not acknowledge it.
“You said I can’t leave again. You can’t either.”
He rubbed a hand over the side of his face. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t leave. You can’t either.”
“Riley—”
“Say it!” I went to him. “Say it. Now.”
“What are you doing?” He shook his head, hands on his hips, and he watched me come. His nostrils flared. “What are you playing at?”
“You think this is a one-way thing? You make demands, and I have to follow? I don’t think so.” I stopped just out of reach, forcing myself to hold firm. “Say it back.”
He continued to watch me, something sparking alive in those dark eyes of his.
“Say it.”
“Say what?”
“That you won’t leave!” I shouted. “That you won’t cut and run when something goes wrong, because something always goes wrong—”
“No shit!” he snarled. “I’m in the fucking mafia. Everything goes wrong with us, and we’re the ones who do it. We do that. I do that. I give orders to kill. And sometimes I want to be the one who pulls the trigger.”
“You’re being a dick.”
“I am a dick.”
I met him face-to-face, toe-to-toe. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
He reached up, his hand curling around the back of my neck, and he pulled me close. I went up on my tiptoes, my lips square against his, but we weren’t kissing. We were both breathing hard.
I couldn’t look him in the eyes, not this time. “Tell me something new. I know who you are, and I know what you’re doing right now.” I reached up and grabbed ahold of his shirt. I yanked him against me. “You cannot scare me, so stop fucking insulting me by trying. Again. You don’t want me to shoot my father, fine. I won’t, but let’s not pretend that’s what this temper tantrum is about.” I shoved him back, making him let go of me. “You’re falling in love with me, and you’re pissing your pants because for once in your life, you don’t feel in control.”
He stared at me, long and hard, and as I could’ve predicted, he turned and walked out.
The door slammed shut behind him, causing me to jump.
Fine.
I started to turn, but there was nowhere I could go. Instead, I picked up a glass and threw it against the wall.
Fuck him!
But as it shattered and fell beside the other, it did nothing to make me feel better. If anything, I had a sudden compulsion to glue both glasses back together.
CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
Kai hadn’t been back since he’d stalked out, but exactly eight hours later, Brooke arrived. Didn’t take a genius to figure out he’d called in a replacement. Jonah had come too. He gave me a quick assessment and declared it’d be my last one. I was healthy once again.
Brooke and I spent the first hour catching up. She told me how she’d called the guards from the woods, and they’d found her and had her checked by a local doctor. Brooke said the doctor had been “gorgeous beyond words.” Though it was only a strained ankle, it was still painful and “so worth it.” Her words. Not mine.
Afterward, she said they’d grilled her about my whereabouts for a few minutes, and that was it.
She shook her head. “I swear, they broke speed limits getting me to you. What happened?”
There was a sour taste in my mouth, but I only shrugged. “I’d rather just get drunk than talk about it.”
And she didn’t push. Jonah either.
As we opened the first bottle of wine, Brooke said Tanner had been sent north again. As we finished the second bottle, she went on to say that since she was here, she wanted to sneak around Kai’s properties. She was convinced he still had Levi somewhere and was “bound and determined” to save the love of her life.
I frowned. “Not to second-guess you, but you’re awfully flirtatious with Eric and a certain doctor.”
“Doctor?” She glanced at Jonah, who was working on his computer next to us.
He didn’t look at her. “She’s talking about Mr. Gorgeous Local Doc you were raving about earlier.”
“Oh!” She laughed, slapping her hand on the table. “That’s funny. No, no. Levi is the love of my life. I’m just flirty. That’s all.” She glanced over her shoulder, but there were no guards on our floor.
I had no doubt they were standing outside the door.
“I like flirting with Eric. He messes up if I really push him. How do you think I get half the information I do?”
Jonah sighed, closing his computer. He pushed his glasses up his nose. “Brooke likes to act as if she’s being held hostage by our brother, but that’s not the case. We’re Bennetts. There’s a responsibility that comes with our family surname. All of us hate it, but if we have to step up and bear it, we will. Brooke’s constant flirting is her rebelling against those responsibilities.”
Brooke glared at her glass of wine.
“I know.” I nodded. “Kai told me about the council.”
Both of their eyes widened.
“He did?” Brooke asked.
Jonah frowned. “Why would he tell you that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know, but he did. Is that bad?”
They shared a look.
Brooke lifted a shoulder. “I guess, I mean, I hope not. I’m sure it’s fine.”
But she seemed to be reassuring her brother more than me. Her dark eyes fixed on me, almost accusing. “Aren’t you just sleeping with Kai? I mean…” She leaned forward, pushing her wine aside and dropping her elbows on the table. “Kai doesn’t spill the beans about anything when it comes to our family. At all. Even to us. We only know half the shit because we’re Bennetts. We have to know. You know?”
I nodded. “Mmm-hmmm.” A closed smile. “We’re just…having fun together.”
Jonah snorted, sounding like his sister for the first time ever.
As if reading my mind, Brooke flashed him a smile. “Ha! What was that?!”
Jonah reddened before gathering his computer and making up some excuse to leave us for the night. After sharing another bottle of wine, Brooke took the bed, and I took the couch. Jonah went somewhere else. I didn’t know where.
• • •
In the morning I woke to Kai frowning over me. “Why are you on the couch?”
I yawned and pointed. “Because yoooour sistah clai-ahed the bed.”
I finished my yawn, remembered why this was even an issue, and glared at him. “Why do you care? You left.”
And I might’ve been a bit hungover. There was a definite pounding just behind my forehead.
He ground his teeth together, glaring toward the bed while he answered me, “I had work to do. Don’t take it personally.”
I rolled to my feet, then whoosh. Head rush. I sat back down and waited for it to pass. “You took off at an opportune time, you know.”
He was heading to the kitchen, but shot me an annoyed look over his shoulder. “If I’d stayed, we just would’ve been in bed all day and night. You know it. I couldn’t risk that.”
Maybe. But the words I’d said to him were still hanging there, uncomfortably.
Brooke sat up in bed. “Hey, big brother.” She smiled wide, scratching her head, messing her hair further. “Man, wine sleep is the best sleep. I only need a few hours, but those hours are efficient, you know? It’s like.” She snapped her fingers. “Get to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. And bam, wake up. And here we are.” She held her arms out toward Kai, whose back was to her. “Big badass brother is
here to order us all around some more.”
She gazed around, frowning. “Where’s Jonah?”
Kai answered, his back still turned to her, “He’s at a hotel.”
“A hotel?! Can I go there too?”
“No.” He finished getting the coffee ready and hit the button, before sending his sister that same annoyed look. “I wanted to give you a chance at saving the love of your life. He’s in Milwaukee, you know.”
She gasped, scrambling to her knees over the blankets. “Really? You’ll let me see him?”
“I said save him, not see him.” He raised an eyebrow, mocking her. “Isn’t that your mission in life? Save the traitor to both our families?”
Her head moved back and her mouth closed. “Why are you being mean?”
“Being mean?” His eyes grew chilled. “How am I being mean? Maybe I’m annoyed that you keep professing your love to a guy who was turning evidence on his family.”
Her cheeks grew red. “They’re barely illegal,” she mumbled.
“Doesn’t matter,” he countered. “That makes it worse. Have you asked yourself why he was doing that? He’s not in line for any power in the Barnes family. He’s not affected by anything they do. He’s far removed, and yet he weaseled his way in just to get dirt on them. Why don’t you ask yourself that question: why would he do that?”
“Stop it, Kai.” She picked at her shirt.
“Brooke,” he said firmly.
And as if feeling the same beckoning I did when he spoke, she raised her eyes. They were filled with pain now.
“I can only think of two reasons why he’d go out of his way to do what he did. Either he’s hoping to open up some positions where he can step in and take over or he’s being blackmailed. Which do you think is the realistic answer?”
She looked down. Her bottom lip trembled. “You’re being mean.”
“Well, I’m also pissed off that you convinced Riley she needed to run from me to come down here.” His jaw clenched again. “You know that’s not the truth.”
She looked up at him, eyes blazing. “It’s not so clear cut, and you know it. You’re not letting me see Levi—”
“Because he’s turning evidence against his family, and I don’t want you to get pulled into that! What do you think they would do? It’s really easy for his deal to go from just his family to being about ours too. Turn in the mafia princess—or better yet, give us dirt on her so we can blackmail her. You were doing something stupid, and you know it.”