I glance at my watch. It’s nearly one. Lunchtime. I’ve been sitting here stewing for ages. Clemmy spots me and waves me over.
I wave back and duck into the tent to pull on clean shorts and a T-shirt. Then I force a comb through my wild hair and venture out to join them. Anything beats lying here, staring at the ceiling, mulling over the disaster that is my life.
They all look up as I approach, shielding their eyes against the glare of the sun.
‘How are you, Daisy?’ asks Clemmy. ‘We didn’t want to disturb you.’
‘Sit down and have some strawberries,’ says Ruby, shuffling along the rug to make room for me.
I drop down beside them gratefully. ‘Don’t mind if I do.’ I smile and choose a luscious-looking berry from the punnet Ruby is holding out.
Gloria leans over and presses my hand. ‘You’re better off without that waste of space, love. There’s someone far nicer out there for you.’ She wafts herself vigorously with a lettuce leaf. ‘I can’t believe how hot it is today.’ Realising the lettuce is not exactly fit for purpose, she drops it on the rug with a sigh.
‘Thanks, Gloria.’ In spite of my resolve to be glad Toby has gone, a rogue tear springs up.
Clemmy looks anxious. ‘I hope you don’t mind but I told Ruby and Gloria what happened.’
I shake my head. ‘Not at all.’
Ruby grins apologetically. ‘I was about to charge over to your tent and get you to test my latest batch of chocolate brownies for the fayre tomorrow. But Clemmy stopped me. She said cake was probably the very last thing on your mind this morning.’
I laugh. ‘Ooh, I don’t know about that. Are they the brownies in question?’ I point at a colourful cake tin full of goodies that’s nestled on the rug.
‘Yes.’ Ruby beams and holds out the tin. ‘Try one.’
I finish my strawberry and take a brownie. I haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and I’m suddenly starving.
Ruby offers them round then takes one herself.
‘Holy batshit, Robin!’ she mutters suddenly, through a mouth full of cake.
‘They are good,’ agrees Clemmy, munching on hers.
But Ruby is staring out over the lake. ‘Is that an apparition before me?’
We all swing round to look. Someone is emerging from the lake. A tall, broad-shouldered man, wearing nothing but a pair of the briefest of swimming shorts. He ploughs out of the water, sun glinting off his impressive muscles, and steps onto the bank. Then he turns his face to the sun and runs his hands slowly through his dripping hair.
‘Daniel Craig, eat your heart out,’ murmurs Gloria, transfixed.
My heart lurches in my chest. ‘It’s Jake.’
The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I pick up Gloria’s lettuce leaf and start fanning myself furiously. Then I realise everyone is staring at me, so I stop and try to brazen it out.
‘You know that man?’ asks Clemmy.
I shake my head. ‘Not exactly. In fact, no, not at all.’
Right at that moment, Jake looks over at us and waves.
Ruby giggles. ‘Well, he seems to know you, Daisy. Unless Mum’s having a secret fling with a devastatingly handsome toy boy.’
‘Ruby!’ Gloria’s hot flush deepens. ‘As if!’
‘Keep your hair on, Mother.’ Ruby grins. ‘So come on, Daisy, you dark horse. How do you know him?’
I watch as Jake towels himself dry then starts ambling off along the lakeside, presumably heading back to camp. My face is now blazing hotter than a furnace and I can tell that my three companions are trying, with varying degrees of success, to pretend they’re not fascinated.
With a sigh, I start telling them the story of how I met Jake when I was walking in the woods and we struck up a conversation. And how I’ve seen him several times since then.
I turn to Clemmy. ‘Sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want you to think badly of me.’
She smiles. ‘But I’m sure it was perfectly innocent. He’s a writer and you love writing. I can totally understand the attraction.’
I nod, wishing it were as simple as that. Because it very definitely isn’t. I have such an urge right now to run after Jake. The fact that I’m still sitting on this rug is all down to sheer force of will alone …
It’s suddenly blindingly clear that I’ve been fooling myself. Yes, I like him because we have writing in common – but it’s so, so much more than that. I have fallen hook, line and sinker for Jake, and there’s nothing I can do to reverse the damage. I’ll be leaving here in a day or two and then I’ll never set eyes on him again.
My eyes are suddenly burning with unshed tears. This holiday has turned out to be a disaster in so many different ways.
But falling in unrequited love with Jake Steele surely tops the lot!
‘You really like this Jake, don’t you?’ says Ruby, and my face catches fire all over again. ‘I mean, really really like him.’
I swallow, glancing at their rapt faces, one by one.
‘Actually, I do,’ I confess miserably.
There’s a brief silence, then Ruby says cheerfully, ‘Well, hey, that’s good news. It’ll mean you’ll get over scumbag Toby much more quickly than you otherwise would have.’
‘Ruby!’ protests Gloria. ‘I wish you wouldn’t just blurt out what comes into your head!’
I exchange an uneasy smile with Clemmy. ‘It’s okay, Gloria. Ruby’s right. And actually, I have no right at all to call Toby a scumbag. I … I kissed Jake.’
‘Oh my God, do you love him?’ asks Ruby.
I give an embarrassed laugh. ‘No, of course not. Well, maybe. Oh God, I don’t know …’
‘Actually,’ says Gloria, reaching for a glossy magazine. ‘I was just reading this quiz about the signs that you’re really attracted to someone.’ She rifles through the pages until she comes to it. ‘Right, Daisy. Do you get butterflies in your stomach every time you think about him?’
Everyone turns and looks at me expectantly.
‘No!’ I protest, while flushing like a beetroot.
‘That’s a yes, then,’ says Gloria, smiling and pretending to tick a box. ‘Next question. Do you feel as if you could talk to him forever and never get bored?’
I’m about to say no again, but it’s so obvious the answer has to be yes.
‘Ooh, that’s another yes,’ says Ruby with a triumphant smile.
‘Oh, stop it. Please!’ I start to laugh and everyone joins in.
‘When you kissed him, did Jake kiss you back?’ Ruby asks.
I swallow, thinking back. I’ve relived the moment a thousand times. I can remember exactly how it went. We were lying on the ground, staring up at the stars, and he rolled closer and touched his mouth to mine …
‘He definitely kissed me, too,’ I say firmly, and Ruby nods her approval.
‘Jake could be the love of your life but you’ll never know it if you don’t go and talk to him,’ she says. ‘From what I gather, love can be anything but convenient. It often happens in the weirdest of circumstances. Like my mate’s sister, Clara, who was in the pub celebrating her boyfriend’s birthday when she walked out of the loos with her dress tucked into her knickers. A perfect stranger called Jon alerted her to this highly embarrassing fact. And they’re now engaged and getting married next June.’
‘And the moral of the story is?’ Gloria laughs.
‘Don’t worry about tucking your dress in your knickers because it might just lead to true love?’ says Clemmy, with a wistful smile.
‘Well, anyway, you should go and see Jake,’ says Ruby determinedly.
‘I need to cancel the hotel room I’d booked for tonight,’ I say gloomily.
‘Right. So you cancel the booking then you go and see Jake.’
I laugh. ‘You make it sound so easy.’
‘But it is.’
‘I’ve just split up with Toby. It doesn’t seem right to be thinking of someone else already.’ A wave of weariness rolls over me. I just
want to lie down on the grass and go to sleep. This rollercoaster of emotions I’ve been on since I arrived here has obviously taken its toll because I actually don’t know what I think about anything any more …
‘You need to send Jake your book,’ says Ruby. ‘If he really likes you, he’ll definitely want to read it!’
I smile at her a little sheepishly. ‘I already have. I e-mailed it to him.’
‘Ooh, nice one. And has he read it?’
‘I don’t know. Maybe … maybe I should go and ask him?’
‘You definitely should.’
‘Okay, I will.’ I feel a little spark of excitement at the thought.
‘Yay!’ Ruby punches the air. ‘I should be an agony aunt. All my friends say so.’
‘You do talk more sense than the average obnoxious teenager.’ Gloria grins.
‘Thanks, Mother dear.’
‘You know,’ says Gloria, taking my arm and squeezing it, ‘if this Jake person kissed you back, it could mean he’s ready to move on from this Laura person.’
Ruby nods firmly. ‘I think this Mother person might actually be right for once.’
Soon after, I find myself striding along the road that leads around the lake, keeping to the grass verge when an occasional car headed for the hotel motors past. My heart is in my mouth and the butterflies in my stomach are flapping so furiously I feel quite breathless. Every so often, I question what I’m doing. Then I remember what Ruby said. I need to find out what Jake thinks about my book. I don’t need any reason other than that to call in on him, do I? It’s clear he likes me as a person, at the very least. We have such interesting conversations.
I’m trying to ignore the little voice in my head saying it’s not just Jake’s interesting conversation that’s drawing me into the woods today …
If I’m honest, the most cheering words came from Gloria. If this Jake person kissed you back, it could mean he’s ready to move on from this Laura person.
I smile to myself, hoping she’s right and thinking what a lovely family Clemmy is marrying into. I really hope I stay in touch with her this time and that it all works out for her with Ryan …
Suddenly, I remember I need to cancel the hotel booking. I can’t believe it. My mind was so focused on Jake, I actually walked right past the hotel and didn’t even think about it. It’s too late to double back now. I’ll see Jake first and call in at the hotel on the way back. I just hope Sylvia understands.
I’m almost there now, and as I crunch over the bracken and fallen twigs, making my way to Jake’s camp, I’m filled with a sense of optimism that almost borders on happiness. Talking to Clemmy, Gloria and Ruby seems to have given me the perspective I needed, and I feel ready to move forward and find out what life has in store for me.
What if Jake were to tell me he likes my book?
And that he likes me, too …
My heart beats faster at the thought but I check myself. I mustn’t hope for miracles. What will be will be. I need to just relax and go with the flow instead of allowing my fear of the future to take over, like I did with Toby.
My step is light as I walk along, breathing deeply in an effort to calm the butterflies. Another few yards and the camp will come into view and I’ll see Jake again.
I should have been honest with him. I should have told him that Toby and I have split up. I just didn’t want him feeling sorry for me. But I can make up for it now. We can have the chat we should have had earlier.
Walking along, I spot the little clearing up ahead and quicken my pace. Stepping through the trees to the camp, I stop abruptly and stare around me.
This isn’t Jake’s clearing. There’s nothing here. My heart sinks. I must have strayed from the main track somehow and wandered in entirely the wrong direction. In my defence, when you’re surrounded by nothing but trees, one clearing looks very much like another. Plus my sense of direction has never been very good.
I walk on a little less confidently, but five minutes later, I see daylight up ahead and realise I’m almost through the woods and out the other side.
Feeling panic start to rise, I retrace my steps and soon I’m back at the same familiar little clearing. And that’s when I spot the unmistakeable remains of Jake’s campfire, which I missed in my confusion earlier.
All the breath goes out of me. Sagging against a nearby tree, my legs feel like jelly as I stare at the space where Jake’s tent used to be.
I’m too late to talk to him.
Jake has packed up his things and gone …
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Sinking down onto the grass, my back against the trunk of the tree, I pull up my knees and hug them to my chest. Then I stare for a long time at the remains of the campfire.
I’ve no idea where Jake lives. He mentioned it was about an hour’s drive away but that could be anywhere.
I can’t believe I’ll never see him again.
Recalling I have his email address, a little surge of hope rises up. But it quickly dies when I remember the hundreds of miles separating us, once I’m back in Manchester. It’s not as if I could casually email him, suggesting we meet up for a coffee …
I think what hurts most of all is that he didn’t come to say goodbye.
When I leave the campsite on Sunday, I’ll be leaving my friendship with Jake behind, too. I thought we had a genuine connection. But it obviously meant far more to me than it did to Jake.
A panicky feeling flutters in my throat.
Why do I keep getting things so badly wrong?
Tears spring up but I dash them away and get to my feet.
I need to cancel that hotel booking. It’s so late in the day, I’ll probably be required to pay for the room anyway but that’s the least of my worries.
Feeling slightly wobbly on my feet, I set off, walking in a daze back to the hotel. It’s good to have something practical to focus on. After I’ve sorted things out at the hotel, I’ll go back to the camp and ask Clemmy’s advice on ordering a hire car to get me home. Then I’ll pack up and leave first thing tomorrow.
I think of home and have a sudden longing to see Rachel. I’ll have so much to tell her. And none of it good.
The sooner I can get away from this place, the better …
*
I stare at the bill the receptionist has just presented me with.
I’m having a hard job processing the total in bold at the bottom of the print-out. Can it really be that much? As I haven’t given twenty-four hours’ notice of cancellation, I’m apparently required to pay the whole amount.
Looking back, I was so excited about treating Toby to a night of luxury, I didn’t pay much attention to how much it was all going to cost. I suppose I thought that if I were a few quid short, I could always borrow from Toby and pay him back later. How foolish it all seems now, in retrospect.
‘Are you sure this is right?’ I ask, thinking frantically about the state of my bank balance. I doubt there’s enough in there to cover it.
‘Yes, I’m afraid it is. Our policy clearly states that there’s no charge for cancellations we receive up to forty-eight hours before your stay. But after that, the whole amount becomes due.’
I stare at her, wondering if I should tell her about the exceptional circumstances. That my boyfriend decided to knock off the next-door neighbour.
‘It’s just that we’re unlikely to be able to fill the room at such late notice.’ She frowns. ‘Sorry.’
My throat feels too choked to speak so I fumble in my bag for my debit card. And then when she tries to put the transaction through, my card is declined.
‘Do you have another card?’ she asks. ‘We could split the amount.’
I shake my head. My only credit card is maxed out after paying for the glamping trip.
Suddenly, it’s all too much. I’ve been an emotional wreck ever since I arrived here. And now this …
Tears spring to my eyes and the total on the print-out dances around in a blur. My throat aches with the effort
of keeping the despair inside.
The receptionist swiftly provides a box of paper hankies and I pull out a couple and cover my face, sobbing uncontrollably. Trying to minimise the noise just makes it worse. The receptionist is staring at me in horror and I feel quite bad for her. She’s trying her best to remain professional but she clearly hasn’t a clue what to do with me.
Then someone says, ‘Daisy. What’s wrong?’
It’s Sylvia. I shake my head, unable to speak, making awkward little involuntary gasping noises instead. She leads me over to a sofa in a little alcove, well away from the busy reception desk, and sits down beside me, her hands in her lap.
In between sobs, and feeling ridiculously dramatic, I blurt out my sorry tale, explaining why I’m having to cancel after Sylvia went to such great trouble to find me a special room for tonight.
She observes me with a sympathetic frown. Then she says firmly, ‘We’ll waive the cancellation fee.’
‘Really?’ If anything, that makes me feel even worse about the situation. ‘But are you sure? I could pay some today then pay the balance next month?’
She shakes her head. ‘I wouldn’t hear of it. You’d no idea Toby was going to – um – be such a cad. You booked in all faith that things would be lovely.’
I smile sadly and nod. ‘Well, if you’re sure. I’ll definitely be back, though. It’s such a gorgeous place you have here.’
‘Thank you.’ Sylvia’s face lights up. It’s the first time I’ve seen her smile with her eyes and it totally transforms her. ‘Running the hotel is my life,’ she says simply, ‘and comments like that make me think that maybe I’ve made the right choices.’
I nod, envying Sylvia her passion for her work, yet at the same time feeling a sadness emanating from her.
She leans forward suddenly, an intense gleam in her eye. ‘Don’t let Toby’s betrayal stop you from forging other relationships. You deserve to find someone special.’
Her words take me by surprise and tears spring to my eyes again. ‘Gosh, you’re going to start me off again if you keep being nice to me.’ I try to laugh it off but thoughts of Jake are making me feel hollow inside. I had found someone special but it wasn’t meant to be …
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