by Jay T
“I kicked his ass,” I wink at her.
Amy shakes her head and heads towards the front door.
***
When we pull into the driveway, I can tell the gang is already here at the cabin.
“Is Evan going to be here?” Amy asks.
“I don’t know,” I say as my stomach flip flops.
“How do you feel about him now?” she asks.
I shake the hair out of my face and look over at Amy. “I was in love with him before I ever got together with Chad,” I say. “He had my heart first. I don’t even know how that was possible since I could only ever see him while I was asleep but…I don’t know. I’ve only known him as the guardian angel. I’d really like to get to know him as my soulmate without all the crazy end of world stuff going on.”
Amy reaches over and grabs ahold of my hand and squeezes it. “Sounds pretty backwards. You don’t really even know him but you know he’s your soulmate. That being said, I’ve spent time with the guy. I mean, he saved my life. He’s a really good fit with us so I know he’s perfect for you. It sounds like he would do anything, including break every rule, just to be with you. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”
I hope she’s right.
I hesitate just outside the door. I want Evan to be here. I’d like to know what happened with Naomi and how long he has here. I walk in behind Amy and my eyes immediately finds him on the couch with a beer in his hand. We lock eyes and his jaw drops. I’ve never seen him this way. The only Evan I’ve ever known has been in my dreams or saving me over and over, performing incredible feats, battling the darkness, and drenched in blood. The Evan on the couch before me now, he’s one of the guys. He’s here. He’s within my reach. My heart skips a beat as I hear Amy whisper in my ear, “Let’s get a drink.”
Amy guides me to the kitchen and opens the fridge. “You ok?” she asks.
I feel giddy and guilty at the same time. I look around the cabin and I feel pulled to the couch in one direction while so many strong memories of Chad pull me the other way at the same time. This is his family’s place and we spent so much time here together, just the two of us. I want to laugh and cry. I shrug. I’m not sure if I’m ok.
Liam comes stumbling around the corner, “They’ve released you, have they?”
Released me? What does he know? I take a long drink of my beer to buy myself some time before responding, “Yeah, I’ve been out of the crazy house for a few months now.”
“A few months and you’re just now gracing us with your presence? That’s rude,” he hiccups.
“That’s what I said,” Amy says a little more seriously than I’d like. I really did hurt her.
Brent comes around the corner into the kitchen, “Hey, Babe, how did your morning go?”
He wraps his arms around her and kisses her on the forehead. “I missed you when I woke up.”
She meets his eyes and says, “Sorry. I got a text from someone.” She motions to me, but I know she’s stretching the truth.
“Oh ya?” Brent looks at me. I smile.
“We had a lot to talk about,” Amy continues.
“Sooooo, we all good now?” he asks looking back and forth between us.
She smiles and says, “Everything is better. Yes.”
He leans back and roars, “Thank god!”
Amy and I giggle as he continues to blabber on about their show.
I overhear someone say loudly, “You drink here, you stay here.”
The only person who might not know the rules is our new friend. But why does he want to leave? Does Evan not want to be around me? Does he not like me?
“Brent, Eva and I have some more catching up to do. We’re going to go outside,” Amy says as she kisses his lips. I look away. I can’t see the guys in the living room; they’re around the corner from us, but I wish I could catch a glimpse of Evan.
“Alright, ladies, enjoy your girl time. I’m happy you’re back, Eva. We missed you,” Brent says. He smacks Liam’s butt which is hanging out of the fridge and Liam jumps, hitting his head on the door.
“Damnit, Brent,” Liam says, annoyed.
“What are you making us for dinner, dude?” Brent asks.
Liam mumbles something incoherent as Amy and I close the door behind us.
We walk outside and sit down together on a bench near the water. Amy says, “I really needed to hear your story this morning. I thought I was losing my mind. You were here last night, weren’t you?”
I nod. “I was.”
“You and Anny, I mean, Evan, saved my life.”
“Evan saved your life. I wasn’t able to help you.”
“The black snake thing around my leg, that was the darkness you told us about?”
“Yes.”
“I didn’t want to ask in front of your Aunt.”
“I figured. Thanks for that.”
“It really scared me. Why did it come after me?” she asks.
“Same reason it came for Chad. To hurt me.”
She shivers.
“You still want to be my friend?” I’m partly kidding.
She bumps my shoulder with hers and says, “We’ve come this far and I’m still kicking.” She pauses for a moment and then asks, more seriously, “Is it over? Things trying to kill me?”
“I hope so.”
Amy nods. Mosquitoes are everywhere and my drink is empty. The wind kicks up and the water ripples as the sun dips out of sight. It will start to rise again in a few moments; there’s still plenty light from it.
“I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to swim in that lake again,” she says quietly.
It’s my turn to nod and I put my arm around her shoulders, squeeze, and let go.
“I guess I could do it if Evan was on the beach ready to give me mouth to mouth again,” she giggles. Her laughter is contagious.
“I’ll get us a refill, be right back.” Amy stands to head inside and I stay on the bench. A few moments later I hear the door open and close. I assume it’s Amy.
“I think I’m-” It’s not Amy, it’s Evan. He comes around the side of the bench and stands in front of me wearing blue jeans and a semi form-fitting Led Zeppelin t-shirt. While Chad could fill out a shirt nicely, Evan’s muscles are bigger and he’s taller than I remember him being; his shirt is pulled tight across his chest. I finally pull my eyes from his muscles and meet his eyes. I can tell he’s troubled. His eyes are glassy and he sways, just slightly. He has all of my attention and I want to get to my feet and say something, anything. My stomach is rolling with butterflies and my heart is pounding. He’s actually here. I think I’ve dreamed this a million different times in a million different ways. But now it’s happening.
“Eva,” he says but doesn’t continue. Instead, he kneels in front of me and puts his big warm hands on my knees; my skin feels electric under him. He’s not looking me in the eyes, he’s looking down.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
I reach out and touch his face, the first time I’ve actually put my body’s hand on him. He’s real. I can’t believe this isn’t a dream. His five o’clock shadow brushes the palm of my hand as my fingers make their way to his soft, short, dark hair. I rub my thumb along his jawline as he shudders under me. My breathing become shallow. Everything about him feels right, like he’s home now, where he should be. Like I’ve been waiting forever for him. Deep within me I feel a peace I’ve never felt before.
“I’ll do everything in my power to become worthy of you,” he says.
I pull his face up so I can see his dark brown eyes. When he looks at me, his eyes shimmer purple for just a second. I blink, thinking maybe I imagined it but I remember that in my dreams, his eyes are purple. They were purple on the battlefield as well. I lean in to look closer and see an outline. He’s wearing colored contacts.
There’s such a contrast between the last few times I’ve seen him, battling the darkness and covered in blood and now here on his knees in front of me. What is he
going through right now that makes him think he needs to apologize to me?
He takes my hand off his face and puts my palm to his lips, stands, and walks away, leaving me alone outside on the bench. I didn’t say anything. Why didn’t I respond?
Amy’s standing just outside the door, watching quietly until Evan notices her and nods at her as he passes by.
“Damn, girl,” she says as she sits back down and hands me a drink. “Wow! That is a man! First you get the hottest guy in school, now you get that guy?” She fans herself. “Wow.”
I take a drink. I don’t think I have that man.
“I wouldn’t want to trade places with you, but I might consider it,” she kids. “That looked pretty intense. What did he say?”
“That he’s sorry.”
“What is he sorry for?” she asks.
“I don’t know.”
I really need to talk to him.
12 evan
I have been hungover in another life, but this is the first time in this life I can say I’m hung over and in pain. I’m on the couch in the living room as flashes of last night play over in my brain. I’m an idiot. It doesn’t sound like anyone else is awake. I should go.
I get to my feet and have to quickly sit back down again as my stomach threatens to empty itself all over the floor. After a few more moments, I get to my feet again, slower this time. I linger at the bottom of the stairs. Eva must be asleep up there. I want to go to her but I don’t. I make my way out to Naomi’s car, start it, and leave.
I’m not sure where I’m driving until I get there. I end up at the clearing Naomi brought me to when she was training me. I know there’s a sleeping bag in the back of her car, so I grab it and make my way up the trail. I drop the sleeping bag under a tree on the outskirts of the opening and keep walking up the trail to the river.
The rushing water helps calm my nerves. I bend down and reach into the water and make a cup with my hand and bring it to my neck. I’m still not feeling the best and the icy water on my neck helps. I probably shouldn’t but I take a drink of the water and then head back to the clearing.
What is it that she needs? How can I help her? What can I do to become worthy of her?
Should I let the guys become roustabouts or give the music career a go? Both hold their own dangers. The guys could easily get hurt in the oil field or they could get into the drug scene in the Star spotlight. Which is better? Will they even want me around when they learn about me?
I fall asleep in the sleeping bag under a tree with no idea of what I’m supposed to do next, how I’m going to make it, or what role I’ll have here.
***
There’s no magical answer in my dreams and I’m still as confused as I was when I fell asleep. Only now I’m completely starving. I decide to chance going to the foster home.
I raid the fridge and go to the boys’ room in search of a fresh pair of clothes. Well, my stuff is still here. I must not be kicked out yet. I grab a fresh set of clothes from underneath my bed and head for the shower.
I shower quickly. I don’t want to give anyone a reason to be upset with me. I close my eyes under the hot water and the only thing I can picture is Eva in the hospital, broken and alone, screaming for someone to kill her. Her hair is crazy and she’s banging on the door. Her pain is my fault. I get dressed as quickly as possible and leave the bathroom, still trying to dry my hair. I head back towards the boys’ room again. I stop in my tracks because there’s someone standing in the living room. Eva. I take a quick assessment of myself and pull my shirt down the rest of the way and drop the towel from my hair. Her beautiful features resemble nothing like the images that had just been going through my head. She’s absolutely stunning and it takes me a few moments to regain my cool enough to approach her. She must be here to tell me to get lost, that she hates me. I plaster on a mask so she can say what she needs to say to me and not be hurt by my reaction
13 eva
I wake up early. I don’t hear anybody else up yet. Good, maybe I can wake him up and we can finally have a private conversation about what the heck we’re going to tell everyone about him. I can’t let them keep calling him Anny. I make my way out of the room, careful not to wake Amy, and sneak downstairs to where I last saw him passed out on the couch.
The spot where he was is empty and my stomach drops in disappointment. Dang it. I flop down on the couch and stare out the window. Where did he go? I finally have the guy who haunts my dreams here on Earth, and he’s more elusive here than he was in my sleep.
Fatigue and disappointment weigh me down. I lie down where he slept last night and close my eyes, hoping for some more rest. If nothing else, it’s comforting to know he was here, in this exact spot, in Chad’s family’s cabin where I’m surrounded by wonderful memories.
“Where’s Anny?” I hear someone whisper as I’m pulled out of a deep sleep.
I keep my eyes closed, trying to block it out and drift off.
“He left in Naomi’s car early this morning,” someone else replies.
“Did he put the moves on her last night?” I can’t ignore it anymore, that’s Robert’s voice. I inwardly roll my eyes.
“Nah, man, Anny passed out. He was dead to the world last night. He didn’t have it in him to put the moves on anyone,” Brent chuckles.
Someone grunts.
I open my eyes and start to move.
“Oh look who’s up,” Brent says.
Robert makes his way over to me as I get up from the couch. He wraps me in a hug and whispers in my ear, “It’s so good to have you home. You have no idea.”
I smile as I hug him back, “I do have some kind of an idea. Sure beats the insane asylum.”
He pulls me back and looks me straight in the eyes, “That’s not funny.”
I laugh, “It is funny.”
We get up and make our way to the kitchen. Amy is just making a pot of coffee.
Robert rolls his eyes and lets it go. “Brent said he’s cooking everyone breakfast. We brought stuff for eggs, bacon, and hash browns.”
“I did not say I’m cooking!” Brent bellows.
“Thanks, Brent! You’re the first person to cook me a meal since they let me out of the looney bin!” I cock my head sideways and try to give my best crazy look. I must have nailed it because his eyes get big.
Amy snickers and Robert twists around to look at me. He laughs. I can’t hold ‘the look’ anymore and laugh along with them.
“I thought you were free and shit. Nobody’s cooked you a meal yet?” Brent’s still not laughing.
“I’m only kidding, Brent.”
He picks up a spatula, points it at me, and says, “Have a seat, crazy woman. Best eggs and bacon you’ve ever had coming up.”
“Don’t forget the hash browns. Oh and the bacon has to be crispy, please.” I smile and bat my eyelashes.
“You wanna do the cooking?” he kids, offering me the spatula.
I hold up my hands, “Nah, you got it.” I take a seat at the bar and watch him get to work as Amy slides me a cup of coffee with creamer and takes a seat beside me.
“Thanks,” I tell her.
My mind wanders to Evan again and I feel a rush of disappointment at not catching him this morning.
Amy knows me too well. “So, anybody have any idea where Anny took off to this morning?” she asks nonchalantly as she takes a sip of her coffee. Amy, you are my hero!
“Why?” Robert asks harshly. He’s just finished pouring is own cup of coffee.
“Why what?” Amy asks back. “He’s our friend. Why wouldn’t I want to know where our friend is?”
Robert glares at his sister. He doesn’t say anything, just sets his coffee cup back down on the counter and storms out of the house. The door slams behind him.
You could hear a pin drop. I’m clearly missing something.
Amy gets up from her chair and takes off after Robert.
I look down at my nails. What the heck is going on around here?
“We’re really happy to have you home, Eva. I think that maybe some of us are terrified of losing you again…” Brent trails off as he resumes cooking but he looks to the door where Robert and Amy just left. I think I get it.
“Brent?”
“Yeah”
I hesitate. “What’s going on with…Anny and Robert?” I almost slipped and called him Evan.
Brent sighs and puts down the eggs he’s whisking to look at me.
“You know Robert loves you like a sister, right?”
I nod.
“I think maybe he’s confused about his feelings…” he doesn’t finish. He goes back to whisking the eggs.
Is Brent saying that Robert likes me? No. What kind of relationship do Robert and Evan have? Maybe they don’t really get along and Robert said something to make him leave.
“Oh.”
“Eva’s here,” Liam croaks, making his way downstairs. He looks terrible. He’s got dark circles under his eyes and his hair is a mess. “The clan is complete again.”
Tristan limps out of the bathroom just as Liam passes by and punches him in the arm. “Don’t call us a clan.”
“Careful, Tristan, I’m going to steal your leg one of these nights and hide it where you’ll never find it again.”
“Don’t make me take it off and shove it up your-”
“-I’m gonna go find out where Amy went,” I interrupt.
Brent makes a face at me as I get up to leave.
Closing the door behind me, I hear a heated conversation. I follow the sound until I find Robert and Amy arguing in the side yard.
“Look, you don’t understand. She knows him ok?” Amy says.
Really Amy?
“She’s been in lockup. How could she possibly-” Robert stops talking when he sees me and his face instantly turns pink.
I look back and forth between the two of them. Amy for giving away my secret and at Robert for the way he said “lockup,” like I was a convict or a lunatic. Which, I suppose I was considering the way I behaved in there. I’m not quite sure what to say to them.
“Eva, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” Robert starts but I stop him.