by Emily Forbes
‘Do you need anything else,’ Melissa asked, ‘before we get ready to transfer you?’
She was exhausted, overwrought, hungry and filthy. She wanted a hot bath and some clean clothes, something to eat and for people to stop poking her and sticking needles into her. But what she got was a drip in her arm, some antiseptic wipes and a hospital gown.
She wanted to sleep.
She wanted to wake up somewhere familiar and safe.
She wanted Patrick.
Charli wanted to see his face again in case it really was the last time.
But her brain had shut down, whether from exhaustion or stress or trauma she wasn’t sure, but whatever the reason she found she could no longer string a coherent sentence together. She didn’t know how to ask for what she wanted. How to ask for Patrick.
But he was there anyway. He appeared beside her as if he knew what she needed almost before she did. His red uniform and dark hair stood out in stark contrast to the white surroundings. Seeing him immediately calmed her racing heart.
He came to stand on her left side and she instinctively reached out for him, unsure just when she had become so dependent on him but certain that he would take her hand. He would offer comfort.
‘Hey.’ He smiled and she relaxed. ‘I hear you’re in pretty good shape.’
He didn’t tell her she looked better or brighter but he did take her hand. She could only imagine what she looked like. Bloodied, bruised and filthy. She would look like someone who had been buried alive for forty hours. She knew her blonde hair was matted and dirty. She could feel that her left eye, just under the cut on her forehead, was partially closed from swelling and she imagined it was turning purple. She suspected she looked like the victim of a mugging or a car accident.
‘Melissa tells me you’re stable enough to be transferred to Melbourne.’
‘Melbourne?’ She knew that but her brain was taking a long time to catch up to what she was hearing and even longer to process information. She was sure she wasn’t concussed. She just needed to eat and sleep, then everything would be back to normal.
‘The helicopter is on its way to take you to the Princess Elizabeth Hospital.’
‘By myself?’ She looked at Pat, waiting for his answer, knowing it wasn’t going to be the one she wanted to hear.
Pat could see a cascade of emotions in her blue eyes. Pleading, longing, desperation, fear, worry and loneliness. He knew she was asking him to accompany her.
She was waiting for his answer but he couldn’t do it. He was already breaking protocol by being at the medical centre. His shift should have ended the minute Charli had been extracted from the rubble. He’d worked overtime and he was supposed to be resting. He could argue that he was off duty, though he couldn’t pretend he was resting. But he wasn’t going to abandon Charli now. He’d stay with her until she was on the helicopter. Stay with her for as long as possible. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye.
He saw Melissa glance at his hand, where Charli’s fingers had entwined with his. Could Melissa tell that Pat was holding on just as firmly? Could she tell he didn’t want to let her go?
‘I’ll give you a moment,’ Melissa said as she turned and left the room. Leaving them truly alone for the first time.
He knew Charli had formed a bond with him while she’d been trapped. He knew. He felt it too. But if he was asked to explain it, he wouldn’t be able to. It had to be fate that had put him in her path, or her in his. He didn’t really know. All he knew was that she was important to him.
But he couldn’t leave the mountain. He wasn’t dismissed from duty. He would have to take his break and then get back to work. He couldn’t go to Melbourne. He still had a job to do here. He didn’t want her to go without him, he didn’t want to say goodbye, but he didn’t have a choice.
‘I can’t leave the mountain,’ he told her. ‘We still have work to do. Amy will go with you.’
She nodded. Her eyes were teary but the tears did not spill over. The moisture turned them a more startling shade of blue. He shouldn’t be noticing things like that but he couldn’t help it.
‘Will I see you again?’ she asked.
He nodded. ‘I’ll come and see you as soon as I can,’ he said, and he knew it was a promise he would do everything he could to keep.
* * *
Charli had spent two days in the Princess Elizabeth Hospital in Melbourne staring at the walls. Two days with mostly only her thoughts for company. And her thoughts were far from pleasant. She was clean and she’d eaten and she was starting to feel more human, although she still longed for a shower. The nurses had tried but the pain in her feet was so intense she hadn’t been able to stand or walk. They had tried to transfer her to a shower chair but even lowering her feet was too painful. She’d had to make do with a bed bath.
The nurses had put the television on yesterday but it had seemed to be showing a constant tale of the disaster in Wombat Gully and Charli had switched it off and had kept it turned it off. She couldn’t bear to watch or listen to any more of the stories being told. The reporters had no idea what it had been like. They had no idea how it had felt to be buried alive, how scared she’d been, how cold, how lonely.
But she hadn’t expected to still feel lonely. She wasn’t good at being by herself.
She knew her fear of being alone stemmed from losing her mother at a young age, and usually she felt better if Amy was nearby. Amy was her someone, but even though her sister had made the trip to Melbourne and was keeping her company, it wasn’t enough to keep the doldrums at bay. She missed Pat.
She knew he wasn’t the answer, he couldn’t fix her fears or dispel her depression, but she still hoped he’d come to see her as he’d promised.
He had said she would see him again but she had no idea if or when. Maybe he hadn’t meant it.
She lay on her back with the sheets tented over her swollen and painful feet. She had her head turned to the wall, ignoring the door, feeling sorry for herself.
‘Hey.’
She turned at the sound of a voice. His voice. She recognised it instantly. ‘Pat! What are you doing here?’
‘I told you I would come as soon as I could.’
She’d hoped to see him but as the days had passed she’d convinced herself that he hadn’t meant it. He had a family to go home to. Why would he come to see her? But she wasn’t going to pretend she wasn’t pleased to see him. She couldn’t believe he was here. And she couldn’t stop the smile that was spreading across her face. She wondered briefly if she should be so transparent but she figured she might as well let him know she appreciated his visit.
He held two takeaway cups in his hand. ‘I brought you the hot chocolate I promised,’ he said, as he passed her a cup.
‘I can’t believe you remembered. Thank you.’
‘There’s one for Amy too. Isn’t she here?’
‘She’s gone to the airport to pick up our father.’
Her tone was less than enthusiastic and Pat responded to it. ‘Aren’t you looking forward to seeing him?’
‘Not particularly. I can’t believe she rang him.’
Pat was frowning. ‘Why wouldn’t she?’
‘I know you’re close to your brother and I assume to your parents too, but it’s not like that for me and Amy. We’re not at the top of his list of priorities. I’m surprised he’s even coming.’
‘But you’re his daughters. Surely if you need him, he’s there for you?’
‘We don’t need him. We haven’t needed him in a long time. We’ve learnt to manage on our own.’
‘What do you mean by that?’
‘Our mother died when I was seven. Dad was never the same after that. I know he loved us, we had been the centre of their world, but after Mum died it was almost as though he couldn’t bear to have us around. We assumed we reminded him of everything he’d los
t. When Dad married Victoria we were sent off to boarding school. I was ten.’
‘Ten! That’s a bit young, isn’t it?’
‘It is, but it’s not unusual in the UK, especially for wealthier families. Lots of children go to boarding school but it wasn’t something that was on the agenda for us, at least it wasn’t while our mother was alive. But Victoria isn’t the maternal type. She is very career focussed and I don’t think she ever wanted to be responsible for raising another woman’s children and we were sent away. Our father had other priorities, his work and Victoria. We haven’t spent much time with him for years.’
Charli’s bedside phone rang, interrupting their discussion. She breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Would you mind answering that?’ she asked. ‘I don’t want to speak to anyone.’
She could tell from his side of the conversation who it was and she watched as Pat scribbled a note on a piece of paper.
‘That was another news station wanting to interview me, wasn’t it?’ she said as he hung up the phone.
Pat nodded. ‘Have you had lots?’
‘Quite a few. I’ve told the nurses I don’t want to speak to reporters. I don’t have the energy and I can’t imagine why they’d be interested in my story. I’m not even Australian. Surely they can find someone else to interview? I figured one of the other survivors might be happy to do it.’
‘Charli...’ Pat ran his fingers through his hair, making it spike up. He looked exhausted and she wondered how much sleep he’d had in the past few days. ‘Haven’t you been watching the news?’
‘No. It was all about the landslide. I didn’t want to relive it so I’ve kept the television off. Why?’ she asked.
Pat rubbed his jaw. ‘There weren’t any other survivors,’ he told her. ‘You’re the only one.’
‘What?’ She frowned, thinking she must have misheard him. ‘I can’t be. There were fifteen other people missing. You’ve found them all?’
He nodded.
‘They’re all dead?’
He nodded again.
‘Oh, my God, those poor people.’ Charli’s eyes filled with tears but before they had a chance to spill over Pat was sitting beside her on the bed and had wrapped his arm around her. She let her tears flow as Pat rubbed her back. The pressure of his hand was firm but gentle. She didn’t know how but, once again, he had the knack, either through his words or a smile or a touch of his hand, of being able to soothe her. She wondered when she would run out of tears; she had cried more in the past few weeks than she had in the past twenty years.
Burying her face in his shoulder, she let him comfort her until she thought she could speak without crying. She lifted her head and rubbed the tears from her face. ‘I’m sorry.’
‘It’s okay.’ He brushed a tear from her cheek with his thumb. ‘You’ve had a traumatic experience. It’s a normal reaction.’
But Charli was mortified. She couldn’t believe she’d been whinging about her father when fifteen other people were dead. She was safe. Pat and his colleagues had risked their lives for her and she was being self-absorbed. It wasn’t all about her. In fact, it wasn’t about her at all. ‘How are you and your team?’ she asked. ‘It must have been awful. Finding no one.’
‘We found you,’ he replied simply, as if that was enough. Maybe, under the circumstances, it was.
She smiled. ‘Yes, you did.’
‘What time are you expecting Amy?’
‘Soon, I think. Why?’
‘I have to go. I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re feeling fragile but I haven’t seen my daughter yet.’
‘You came here instead?’
He nodded.
‘Why?’
‘I wanted to see you and if I went home first I wasn’t sure that I’d get away again, but if I don’t go soon she’ll be in bed and it will be another day that I haven’t kissed her goodnight. After days like we’ve just had I really need to do that. For me, more than for her.’
He stood up and Charli noticed he was still in his uniform. She hadn’t seen him in anything else so it hadn’t seemed significant until now. She couldn’t believe he’d come to see her first, before anything else. It was no wonder he looked exhausted. She needed to let him leave. ‘You should go,’ she said. ‘I’m fine.’
As much as she didn’t want him to leave, she knew she couldn’t ask him to stay. She was resilient. She would be fine. His daughter needed him more.
‘I’ll come back tomorrow,’ he told her. ‘Is there anything you need me to bring you?’
She and Amy had lost everything in the landslide. Granted it hadn’t been their entire possessions but all they had left was Amy’s phone and wallet. All of Charli’s belongings were gone.
‘I need to do something about replacing my stuff,’ she said. ‘I lost my phone and passport. I can ring my insurance company but the policy number and all the details were in my phone. Amy will get me a phone but I need access to email.’ Keeping busy, making a list of what she needed to do and ticking things off as she went would keep her busy for now.
‘I’ll bring in a laptop you can borrow. Would that help?’
She nodded. ‘Thank you, that would be great.’
‘Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.’
He leant over and kissed her on the forehead and Charli’s heart flipped in her chest. She caught her breath and hoped she wasn’t turning bright red from embarrassment. He had done it so casually she wondered if he’d even noticed, but she certainly had.
She waited until he left the room and then pressed her fingers to the spot where his lips had rested. She’d gone from feeling sad and lonely to elated and hopeful.
She lay back on the bed with a smile on her face as she counted her blessings. She was alive and so was Amy. Her injuries were minor. Pat had come to see her and he would come back again. And he’d kissed her.
Maybe something good would come out of the tragedy. Maybe there was something to look forward to in the days ahead.
CHAPTER SEVEN
HE’D KISSED HER without thinking yesterday. Automatically. But it had felt entirely natural and she hadn’t seemed to mind. But he hadn’t waited around to find out. He was telling himself it had been a spur-of-the-moment thing but, in all honesty, he’d been wanting to kiss her since he’d first met her, since the night she’d literally fallen into his arms at the bar and he’d walked her home.
The feeling had only intensified as he’d talked to her through the hours that she’d been trapped and then when he’d joined her in her tomb-like space. He wanted to taste her, to hold her in his arms for a reason other than providing comfort or safety. A kiss on the forehead wasn’t enough. All it had done was serve to whet his desire even more.
Wanting to take something further with a woman was a new experience for him. He’d been on a couple of dates in the past two years but neither of them had gone well. Friends had set him up and he’d gone along with their plans out of politeness, but he hadn’t wanted to have a second date with either of the women and he’d discouraged any further suggestions from well-meaning friends and colleagues. But things were different with Charli. His interest was definitely piqued. He’d only felt this sense of excitement and anticipation once before. When he’d first met his wife.
Was he being disloyal to Margie? To her memory? To the life they’d shared?
He waited for the sense of betrayal to hit him but there was nothing. No guilt, no recriminations. The life he’d had with Margie was over. He had Ella but that relationship, while precious, wasn’t enough to sustain him. He needed more. He knew he still wasn’t ready for, or looking for, anything serious or permanent but needed adult company, a physical relationship, physical intimacy, and Charli was the first woman he’d met that he could imagine taking that step with. That he wanted to take that step with.
If he hadn’t come straight from Wombat Gully to th
e hospital yesterday he would have stayed longer with her. If he hadn’t needed a shower and something to eat, if he hadn’t needed to see his daughter. But he’d had to spend time with Ella and it was now late in the afternoon, almost tea time in the hospital, less than two hours until he started a night shift, and he couldn’t wait to get back to see Charli again.
He was approaching Charli’s room when a tall man with greying hair, an upright posture and a confident walk came through her door and headed for the nurses’ station. His bearing was controlled and purposeful but Pat recognised sorrow in his eyes.
It had to be Charli’s father. He looked like he was working hard to hold it together.
Pat watched him walk away before he continued on into Charli’s room.
He pushed open the door and found her lying in bed and she looked upset too. Immediately he wanted to comfort her, to take her in his arms and kiss her better, but he wasn’t sure that he had that right. Yesterday’s actions had been spontaneous but he couldn’t presume that she would welcome any further violation of her personal space.
But something about her brought out all his protective instincts. She had an air of fragility about her but she wasn’t fragile, she’d shown that throughout her ordeal, but she seemed delicate. Was it her appearance? Her enormous blue eyes, her porcelain skin or the circumstances of her rescue that bound him to her? He didn’t know but she’d certainly got under his defences. He thought about her constantly but had no idea what could come of this attraction.
He looked over his shoulder, making sure the doorway was clear. ‘That man who just left your room? Was that your father?’ he asked. She nodded and he looked around the room. ‘Did he come alone?’
‘What do you mean?’
The room was empty save for him and Charli. ‘Your stepmother. She’s not here?’
‘No. Apparently her doctor advised her not to fly, although I’m not sure she would have come anyway.’