by Emily Forbes
‘Can you recommend a good hotel for me once we get back to the city?’ she asked.
‘A hotel? What for?’
‘I need somewhere to stay. My review at the hospital is still several days away and I can’t fly until then.’
‘I thought you’d stay with me.’
‘At your house?’
‘Yes.’
‘With you and Ella?’
‘Yes. Is there a problem?’
‘Does she know about me?’
‘No.’
Pat had spoken to his daughter each day while they’d stayed at the lake. He hadn’t tried to take the calls privately and Charli had been able to hear most of the conversation. She hadn’t heard her name mentioned once and it had reinforced that Pat also had a different reality waiting for him when they left the lake house. He had responsibilities, not just to his career but to his daughter. Charli wasn’t interested in playing happy families, she didn’t know how to.
‘So she’ll come home to find a random stranger staying her house and you think she’ll be okay with that?’
He’d told her that he had to think carefully about how his actions would impact on Ella. Was he ignoring his own advice now?
‘She’s three, Charli, her world revolves around her.’
‘And your parents? What about them?’
‘I have a spare room. You can stay in there for appearances’ sake if you’re worried.’
Perhaps he wasn’t asking, or expecting, her to play happy families. He seemed quite content with his life the way it was.
Was this the end? She was under no illusion that things could continue between them long term but she hadn’t actually thought about the end. She wished they could have stayed hidden away on the shores of the lake but that wasn’t reality. For either of them.
‘I’m not collecting Ella until after dinner tonight,’ he said. ‘It’ll take us a few hours to get back to Melbourne. Why don’t you think about it?’
‘All right, I—Oh, my God! Stop. Stop!’
Charli flung her hands into the air and screamed as she watched helplessly as an accident unfolded before her. She’d seen the driver of a parked car open his door just as a cyclist was passing. The cyclist swerved to avoid the door but veered into the path of the car in front of Pat’s.
Pat slammed on his brakes as the car in front of him swerved suddenly, and although Pat was able to avoid a collision the cyclist wasn’t so fortunate. They watched, horrified, as the cyclist hit the bonnet of the car in front and bounced off the windscreen.
Pat switched off the engine, hit his hazard lights and leapt from the car. ‘Check the driver,’ he said to Charli as he ran towards the cyclist, who was now lying prostrate on the road.
Charli limped to the car in front. She didn’t bother to grab her crutches, she was in too much of a hurry. The driver, an elderly gentleman, was conscious but obviously shaken.
‘He rode right into me! I didn’t have time to stop.’
‘I know, I saw it happen,’ she said as calmly as possible. ‘Are you all right?’
‘I think so.’
‘I’m a doctor. Do you think you can walk? I can help you out of the car.’
His windscreen was smashed so a tow-truck would need to be called, and Charli knew the ambulance officers would want to check him out and give him the all clear.
She could hear Pat issuing instructions to other bystanders. Getting one to call an ambulance and another to direct traffic. The driver appeared to be okay and Charli knew Pat could probably use some help, but she needed to take care of the elderly man first.
‘Do you have any medical conditions I should know about?’ she asked as she helped him to the footpath.
‘I’m on medication for my blood pressure and arthritis.’
There was a bus stop nearby and Charli assisted him to the seat. His knees shook as he sat down and Charli looked at him with some concern as his face went slightly grey.
‘Are you feeling okay?’
He was rubbing his left shoulder with his hand. ‘I think I might have strained my shoulder,’ he said. His voice was breathless and, looking at him, Charli knew it was more than that.
He was having a heart attack.
‘Pat!’ she called. ‘I need some help here!’
She caught the man as he toppled forward off the seat. She laid him on the ground and felt for a pulse. It disappeared under her fingers.
She started CPR.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Pat run back to his car and when he got to her he had a resuscitation mask in his hand. He knelt beside her and Charli nodded, letting him know she needed him to breathe for the man. She counted out loud as Pat positioned the mask and pinched the man’s nose. ‘Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty.’
She took a break as Pat breathed into the man’s mouth.
He did two breaths and then sat back as Charli resumed compressions.
‘Are you still on the phone to the ambulance?’ Charli heard him ask one of the bystanders. ‘Can you tell them it is now a category one, we have a patient in cardiac arrest.’
Charli and Pat continued CPR, alternating roles, until the paramedics arrived to take over. They hadn’t managed to resuscitate the driver and Charli didn’t like the ambulance officers’ chances either. She had no idea how much time had passed but it had felt like many minutes.
She hobbled to Pat’s car and collapsed into the passenger seat while Pat gave the crews a summary of the event. Eventually the two ambulances left the scene with their lights flashing and sirens screaming, and Pat joined her in the car.
‘How was the cyclist?’ she asked.
‘He’s pretty banged up,’ he said as he pulled into the traffic, which was now heavily congested. ‘He has a few broken bones, possibly a fractured scapula, collarbone, ribs and pelvis but it’s internal injuries we were worried about. How are you?’
Charli was exhausted and her feet were sore. Kneeling on a hard footpath hadn’t done them any favours and she suspected her efforts had all been in vain. ‘Tired, and my feet are sore, but I’m in a lot better shape than either of those two.’
‘This traffic is going to hold us up now. If you’re in pain I think you should stay with me, at least for tonight. It’ll be late before we get back to the city anyway. If you want to go to a hotel tomorrow, I’ll sort something out then.’
Charli hesitated. She hadn’t decided what to do and she was now too tired to think about it. She hesitated, but not for long. What would be the harm in staying with Pat for one more night?
* * *
Charli wandered through the house while Pat went to collect his daughter. She’d expected something comfortable and cosy, like the house in the country, but the house was sleek and modern. It didn’t feel like Pat. She assumed his late wife had decorated it but she wondered what he’d changed in the past two years. She almost expected his wife to walk into the room, her presence was still so evident. Had Pat deliberately chosen not to change anything? Was this his way of keeping her memory alive?
Photos of Ella and of Margie with Ella dominated the shelves. Charli felt like an intruder as she picked up some framed photos but she couldn’t resist. Ella was gorgeous. She had Pat’s colouring, green eyes and dark hair, but her hair was a mass of ringlets and her face was a miniature version of her mother’s. Margie was also dark with eyes that were bright with life and a smile that was full of laughter. They looked like they’d been happy.
She sighed as she replaced the photos. It was blindingly obvious that Pat was not ready to let go of his past.
She went to the pantry and searched for the tea, having decided she’d put the kettle on and take a cup of tea to her room. She probably should get off her feet and tea always made everything slightly more bearable.
Charli was still in the kitchen when Pat arrive
d home with Ella. She hadn’t been able to decide where she should be. Hadn’t decided how she was going to deal with meeting his daughter. Pat had assured her that Ella wouldn’t have a problem with Charli staying. She was sociable child, used to being surrounded by lots of different people. He’d told her that he wouldn’t have invited Charli to stay if he’d thought it would cause problems, but Charli was starting to feel uncomfortable now, although she had enough insight into herself to realise that her fears were based on her recollections of her own childhood and had nothing to do with Ella.
She took a deep breath as Pat came into the kitchen, carrying his daughter. She was overthinking things, there was no need to be nervous.
Pat set Ella down.
He rested his hand on top of Ella’s dark curls. ‘Ella, this is my friend, Charli. She’s going to stay with us for a while.’
Ella stayed close to his side but looked up at Charli with her green eyes that mirrored Pat’s, and Charli’s nerves returned with a vengeance.
‘Hello, Ella,’ she managed to say. She wondered what she was supposed to do next. Should she squat down, bring herself closer to Ella’s level, or would that be too confronting? She didn’t know what to do so she stayed put, almost frozen in the corner of the kitchen.
‘Remember, before you were born, Mummy and I lived in England?’ Pat talked to fill the silence. ‘Charli is from England.’
‘Did you know my mummy?’
‘No.’ Charli shook her head.
Ella was looking at Charli’s heavily bandaged feet. ‘What happened to your feet?’
‘I was in an accident.’
‘My mummy was in an accident. She’s in heaven now.’
‘My mum is in heaven too.’
‘Do you think they are friends?’
‘I don’t know.’ Charli felt uncomfortable. She hadn’t expected to be having this conversation with a three-year-old and had no idea how to respond.
Her phone vibrated and she snatched it off the countertop, relieved to have something to divert her attention. ‘Can you excuse me, please?’ she said as she left the room.
* * *
Pat watched her go, wondering what the hell had just happened.
That hadn’t gone at all well.
Why was she so uncomfortable?
His parents-in-law had bathed and fed Ella before he’d collected her so he started her bedtime routine while Charli was on the phone. He helped Ella to clean her teeth and left her to choose a story while he went to speak to Charli to find out what was wrong.
Charli had finished on the phone but she spoke before he had a chance to.
‘Can I talk to you?’ she asked, and continued when he nodded. ‘That was Harriet. The television stations are still calling, wanting to interview me.’
‘We’ve had calls to Special Ops too.’
‘You have? Why haven’t you said something?’
‘The journalists are only interested in an interview with us if they can interview you too. I told Connor you weren’t keen, so he’s shut them down.’
‘Do you think they’ll give up?’
‘Eventually. Something else will come along that’s more newsworthy.’
‘If I agreed to give just one interview, do you think they would they be happy with that?’
‘If you made it clear that’s all you were prepared to do, I think that could work. Are you thinking about it?’
Charli nodded. ‘Do you have a PR division as part of Special Ops?’
‘We have a media liaison officer in the ambulance service. Why?’
‘If the reporters were interviewing one of your team as well, do you think the media person could set it all up? I wouldn’t know what to do.’
‘I’m sure they could.’
‘Would you do the interview with me?’
‘Me?’
She nodded. ‘I’d feel better if we could do it together. Do you think that would be a possibility or does the ambulance service have a regular spokesperson?’
Pat shook his head. ‘Any one of us can give interviews. Sometimes we’re briefed and sometimes it’s on the spot at a scene. It should be possible to organise. I’ve got to read to Ella but I can make some calls after that. Unless you want to read to her?’
Maybe that could help break the ice. He hadn’t expected Charli to be so reticent. Everyone loved Ella and he couldn’t begin to fathom what the problem was.
‘Me?’
He nodded.
Charli looked terrified. ‘Can’t you just ask tomorrow when you go to work?’
‘I may not get time. Work can be a bit unpredictable, as I’m sure you can imagine. It’s easier to do it now.’ He felt a little bit guilty. Charli was obviously reluctant to read to Ella but he couldn’t understand why. ‘She’s choosing the story now.’
Charli still hesitated. Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her but it was too late now.
‘I don’t think I can,’ she said.
‘Why not?’
‘I’m no good with children. I don’t know what to do. What if I do or say the wrong thing?’
‘It’s a story, Charli, all you have to do is read it.’
Finally, she nodded.
CHAPTER NINE
CHARLI HAD READ to Ella on the first night, thinking it was best to get it over and done with and knowing that, as Pat was doing her a favour, she needed to do one in return, but she hadn’t counted on being asked to read every night. She had debated the wisdom of staying at Pat’s but since Amy had returned to Wombat Gully her only other option, until she was fit to fly, was to book alternative accommodation, which would mean being on her own. She really hated being alone, so she’d stayed.
She been there for five nights and it was becoming harder and harder to maintain a safe distance.
Ella’s favourite book was Paddington. Charli had loved that book too as a child and reading wasn’t a problem, but spending this one-on-one time with Ella was. She was adorable, warm and open, and secure in the knowledge that she was loved, she had not hesitated to welcome Charli into her life.
But her open manner scared Charli. She didn’t want to get attached to Ella, she didn’t want to disappoint her. She knew she needed to maintain some distance, and didn’t want to get too close or too comfortable, knowing it would make it more difficult when she had to leave. And she knew she couldn’t stay. This couldn’t be her life. She couldn’t get too attached, to Ella or to Pat. It wasn’t fair on any of them.
But Pat, or more accurately, Ella, seemed determined to include her in their lives and the more time Charli spent with them the harder it was to stay removed. She could feel herself being drawn in. They made her feel safe and secure. She was starting to feel like she was a part of a family and the feeling was addictive. It was what she had always wanted but was afraid of at the same time. She knew that loving people left her open to heartbreak.
But even knowing the risks, she couldn’t avoid spending time with Pat and his daughter. If she was completely honest, she didn’t want to avoid it. She had no issue with spending time with Pat behind closed doors but she was glad he hadn’t suggested that she meet his parents or his friends. She didn’t want to get more involved in his life as it would only make it harder to leave, but getting close to Ella was a different thing altogether and she was trying to limit the time she spent with her. Some things, however, she discovered, were not negotiable, which was exactly how she found herself agreeing to spend a day at the zoo with Pat and his daughter.
She’d tried half-heartedly to get out of the excursion, claiming that it would be too much walking, but Pat had insisted. Apparently the zoo had wheelchairs and he was happy to push her. She’d then tried to suggest that he might like the time alone with Ella but Ella was as insistent as her father and now here they were, all three of them, at the entrance gate.
‘Where shall we go first, Ella?’ Pat asked as he paid the admission fee. He knew what Ella’s answer would be—it was always the same.
‘The Butterfly House.’
Kept at a constant twenty-eight degrees, the butterfly exhibit was the perfect spot on a grey and drizzly Melbourne day, and Ella skipped ahead as Pat pushed Charli’s wheelchair through the zoo. He and Ella had finally persuaded Charli to accompany them and he had a surprise organised for later in the morning but, knowing Ella’s preferences, he’d allowed time for the butterflies first.
Charli had stopped looking so afraid when she was spending time with Ella but he hadn’t been certain she would agree to spend the day with them doing one of Ella’s favourite activities. He knew she was still holding back, fearful of engaging fully with Ella. It was odd. He’d thought she’d feel empathy with his daughter as they’d both suffered the same tragedy of losing their mothers at a young age but Charli seemed reluctant to get too close.
Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing because she was only going to be in their lives for a short time, but if he’d thought for one moment that having Charli with them would have been at all disruptive for Ella, he wouldn’t have suggested it. Ella was resilient and she enjoyed Charli’s company like she enjoyed everyone’s. When Charli left, Ella would have plenty of other people to fill that void so he hadn’t thought it would be a problem. At least, not for Ella. But he’d come to realise that he would be the one who would be most affected when Charli left. He would be the one who missed her. Ella would move on, she was better at that than he was.
Charli had none of the same reservations about spending time with him, though, but she had insisted that they keep their relationship behind closed doors. Neither Ella nor his parents were allowed to know just what was happening between them but that was okay. Ella went to bed early and that gave him and Charli hours alone together.
But spending this time with her was complicating his feelings. He enjoyed spending time with her, physically and intellectually she stimulated him. He’d been attracted to her from the first moment and he’d been keen to pursue a physical relationship but he hadn’t expected to connect any more deeply than that. He’d thought they could have some time together and then happily go their separate ways, but he liked having her in his life. He just wasn’t sure how, or if, she could fit more permanently.