Perfection

by Gianni Holmes

  A few seconds passed. “Sure.”

  “Good.” I stepped back to let them in. “Sorry. Come on in. We’re just about to have dinner.”

  They hung up their coats, and I led them to the dining room, where I introduced them. I could’ve easily hired a catering service to provide service and the meal, but I’d wanted to do this on my own. Literally too. I’d only allowed Callum to help me with the minimum.

  Ava wanted to help me bringing the food in, but I wouldn’t hear of it.

  “Tonight you’re all guests in our home,” I said.

  Callum glanced up at me quizzically when I said “our,” but I pretended not to notice. After dinner and everyone went home, I could start “Operation Get Callum to Move in With Me.” I didn’t expect him to give in easily, and I anticipated asking multiple times, but I wouldn’t give up until he agreed.

  Along with other things.

  I felt proud of myself for putting the affair together and was pleased with the way everything went smoothly. The food wasn’t the finest, but it was good enough, and everyone seemed to enjoy it. At least, they kept eating.

  Callum helped me with the drinks. At first, I’d been afraid they’d think it strange I wouldn’t serve them alcohol. I’d even briefly entertained the idea of having a bottle at hand for those who wanted, but in the end decided I wouldn’t put temptation in my way.

  “How are you doing, Ashton?” Mother asked me. She sat on my left and Callum to my right. Callum was engaged in a chat with Rue’s husband, which gave me the first opportunity to have a private moment with her.

  “I’m doing great.” I smiled because it was true. The next court hearing was pushed back to the end of the month, but I wasn’t going to allow my life to be hindered by it. I wouldn’t give Louis the satisfaction of me losing sleep until the case was finished, and as speedy as we wanted things to wrap up, it seemed like it could still take a while to get a conviction.

  “I’m glad. You look great and happy.”

  “You do too.” And I meant it.

  “Thank you. For inviting me here. I know I don’t deserve to—”

  “Mom.” I placed a hand over hers and squeezed. “We’re okay. We’re going to be okay.”

  She returned the pressure on my hand. “And you’ve chosen wisely. Your father would have been proud of what you’ve overcome to be the man you are today.”

  Noelle grabbed her attention, giving me some time to process what Mother had said. Callum’s supporting hand landed firmly on my thigh.

  “How are you holding up?”

  “Everything is great.”

  “Yes, you pulled this off. You did great.”

  I inclined my head and kissed him briefly. “Will you hold my hand while I address everyone?”

  “Always.”

  When I stood, the chair scraped too loudly, and I winced for catching everyone’s attention that way. Talking ceased, and all eyes were on me.

  “Hi again, everyone.” I could hear the nervousness in my voice, but my hand in Callum’s was exactly what I needed.

  “I know you’re probably wondering why you’re here.”

  “Thought we were here for the food and rubbing elbows with the rich,” Dane said.

  Callum groaned, and everyone else laughed. I could definitely see why he and Callum had become fast friends. Dane was friendly with everyone and knew the right thing to say at the right time. His comment loosened some of my tension.

  “Well, besides that.” I sobered. “Most of you already know the struggles I’ve had this past year. Not just this past year, but it’s been a long time in the making if I’m being honest. I wanted to personally say thank you for being there for me, especially when I was at my worst. And for supporting Callum while he supported me. You’ve all helped me in some way, so thank you.”

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Callum

  “Ash?” I called softly, patting the bed for his slender frame. When I came up empty, I raised my head, peering into the darkness of the bedroom. A sliver of light wafted inside from the french doors that led out to the balcony.

  I fumbled on the nightstand for my phone. It was a little after two in the morning, and I hadn’t expected either of us to be up, considering the party had gone until almost midnight. Both Ashton and I had crashed into bed with fumbling hand jobs before we fell asleep.

  I laid the phone back and rolled out of bed. Normally we stayed over in my apartment so I could easily open the coffee shop in the morning. Ashton’s place was way more comfortable, though. His bed made it difficult to wake up in the morning. Harder still to get up and hit the road.

  When all our guests had left, it had been too late to drive to my apartment, though, and Ash had asked me to crash at his place. I wasn’t complaining in the least.

  “Ash?” I called again softly.

  The blinds that usually covered the doors to the balcony were up. I opened the door and stepped outside. The air was cool out here, and I immediately wished I’d pulled something on other than the boxers I wore.

  Ashton startled and pulled his legs up to make room for me on the lounge chair where he sat.

  “Did I wake you?” he asked. “I turned off the light out here as soon as I was done using the computer.”

  I lifted his legs, sat, then placed them in my lap. “Sort of. The bed felt lonely without you in it.”

  In the moonlight, I could see his smile. “I was hoping for that.”

  “You meant to leave me in a cold bed?”

  “Not that. Just that I’ve been thinking. A lot. About us.”

  I stroked the arch of his foot, trying not to get ahead of myself by thinking all sorts of crazy thoughts.

  “What about us? I love us.”

  “I know. Me too.”

  “And that’s what’s been keeping you up?”

  “I just couldn’t sleep,” he replied. “I talked to Rue’s husband a lot tonight about the hospital and his job. It was enlightening.”

  “You have the hots for Rue’s husband?” I tickled his foot lightly, and he giggled and tried to pull away, but I held on fast to him.

  “No, of course not. He’s so into Rue.”

  “I’m just teasing you.”

  “I did it, Callum.”

  “You’re going to kill me with all this suspense. You know, if you can’t sleep because I half-assed it earlier with that hand job, I think I’m up for the challenge.”

  “I’ll definitely take you up on that. But unless I get these things off my mind, I probably won’t be able to sleep.”

  At the seriousness of his tone, I knocked off the teasing. “Go ahead. Share your thoughts.”

  Seconds passed, and I allowed him the time he needed to gather his thoughts. He usually didn’t have a problem speaking his mind, so the fact that he was struggling to come out with what he wanted to say bothered me a bit.

  “You know you can tell me anything, right, Ash?”

  “I know.” He laughed a little. “I just don’t know where to begin.”

  “Anywhere you feel comfortable.”

  “All right, I sent in my nursing application to Battersea College. I want to start over from scratch.”

  I relaxed at that bit. “Good. You know I’ll support you when it comes to your education.”

  “I’m afraid I’ll mess it up,” he confessed. “I did poorly in school before. I’ll even have to do some prerequisites before I can be accepted fully into the program.”

  “We’ll work on it. Together. If that’s your dream, we’ll make it come true.”

  He nodded. “I believe you.”

  “Good. Was that all?”

  “No, that was the easy part.”

  “Just tell me.”

  He pulled his legs away and crawled into my lap. “I need you.”

  “I need you too, baby boy.”

  “Then please move in with me.”

  I fell silent at the request. I had a home. It was all mine, and I was comfortable there. My apar
tment and the coffee shop were all I had.

  I glanced down at Ash’s upturned face as he waited for my response. I was wrong about all I had. He was the most important thing in my life right now, and no coffee shop nor apartment trumped that. Still, we both needed time before we permanently invaded each other’s space.

  “I’m not saying no.” I chose my words carefully. “I’m saying not right now.”

  His body slumped against me. “Why not? Because I own it?”

  “No, because you need more time, Ashton.”

  He eased back, and I wished we had more light out there to see his face. It was impossible to read his expression.

  “You think I’m going to fuck up again?”

  “No. You’ve just found out how to live for you, baby. This living on your own and figuring out things have been crucial to you growing up. It’s made you responsible, and I think you should hold on to that for a bit.”

  “Can we make some sort of arrangement, then?”

  “What kind of arrangement?” I glanced around us. “Can you get the lights. I want to see you while we’re talking.”

  “One moment.”

  He scrambled off my lap and strode over to the wall. Soft light flooded the balcony, and he walked back over to me, then knelt on the lounge chair beside me.

  “Just something where on weekdays I sleep with you and weekends maybe you stay here. Something like that.”

  Now I could see better how desperately he needed order in our relationship. I knew a part of his therapy had focused on him keeping his routine.

  “Sounds good.” I could give him an inch. “And as time passes, we can talk again about living together. Fair enough?”

  “I say you should move in now, but okay, I’ll live through a couple of months.”

  I didn’t bother to argue that this might need more than a couple of months. We could always talk about it again.

  “Now you’ve gotten all that off your mind, let’s get back to bed?”

  “There’s just one more thing.”

  “You sure it’s one more.”

  His cheeks went red. “Yeah, but this one is big.”

  “Bigger than asking me to move in with you?”

  His eyes widened as he nodded.

  My mouth went dry. “Ashton, you’re not about to propose, are you?”

  He grinned at me. “I thought about it but decided you’d say it was too soon.”

  I growled at him. “And let me do the proposing, damn it.”

  “I’ll give you six months from today.” I wasn’t certain if he was serious or joking. “And then I’ll pop the question. Of course it’s better for you to do it because I’ll probably do something ridiculous.”

  “Like that flash mob you had for my birthday?”

  “I’m just sorry I missed it.”

  “Baby, we’re getting sidetracked. If it’s not a proposal, then what is it?”

  He inhaled deeply and released the breath. “You know how Mario’s been improving bit by bit?”

  I cocked my head at him. What did Mario have to do with anything now?

  “Yes. He responds well to you.”

  His face went soft at my words. “I know. And I’ve been thinking. Can we take him here on the weekends when you’re here?”

  “What?”

  Other than traveling from New York to Ohio, Mario always stayed within the walls of whatever nursing home he was in. I’d never once even thought to bring him to my apartment, but it seemed Ashton had given it a lot of thought.

  “I checked, and it’s completely allowed if you give your consent,” he said. “I think it’ll be nice for him to get away a few days from the home to be in a new environment. I’ll take care of him. And if you don’t trust me to do that, I’ll hire a part-time nurse for when he’s here.”

  “Ashton—”

  “Please don’t shoot this down,” he rushed to say. “You don’t have to give me an answer right now. Just promise me you’ll think about it.”

  I waited until he was finished, then took him into my arms. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t mind hearing it again.”

  “Why do you want to do that for Mario?”

  He placed a hand over his heart. “I don’t know. I just see the way he reacts to me, and I think he understands more than he can say. Because I had the opportunity to get better, which he no longer has, but I still want him to live the best life he possibly can. And because of you. Because you still feel responsible for what happened to him, even though that’s not the truth. I want to help ease that burden from you.”

  I tightened my arms around him and tucked his head under my chin. What could it hurt? We could try it out, and if it didn’t work, then we could go back to the way things were—visiting him once per week.

  “All right,” I gave in. “We’ll try it one weekend and take it from there.”

  “Yes!”

  His lips smacked onto mine in an exuberant kiss. “You won’t regret it,” he murmured. “I know I’m not perfect but—”

  Before he could continue, I kissed him again to effectively shut him up. Perfection, when it came to people, was impossible. It was useless to strive for it. All I needed him to be was the best possible version of himself, and from what I could see, he was working toward it.

  That was enough. We were both works in progress.

  Epilogue

  Ashton

  “Daddy’s home!”

  Ashton’s jubilant cry rang across the pool area when he spotted me walking across the patio. Next to him in the pool was Randy, the physiotherapist who worked with Mario and had eventually been moved from the nursing home to live with us.

  Ashton and I had talked about it long and hard for a whole year before we both decided it could work. Three years later and I had to admit Ashton’s instincts where Mario was concerned were spot-on.

  The boy hadn’t made a miraculous recovery overnight. It had been a long hard fight of drafting rehabilitation programs after programs to find out what worked for him and what didn’t.

  Ashton had been committed to Mario’s well-being almost from the beginning and over the past four years had shown resolve. He hadn’t just become involved with Mario because I thought myself responsible for the boy. He had a genuine desire to seeing the boy improve.

  Ashton’s arms sliced through the water until he reached the end of the pool. He hoisted himself up, water dripping down his legs as he ran toward me. I braced myself for impact, my attention drawn to the almost indecent Speedo he wore. I could see the outline of his cock in the material.

  My own flexed in appreciation of the image he cut heading for me. He’d always admired my abs, but now his rivaled my own. His compact body was toned from his workout regimen. We usually worked out together, but I still couldn’t get into yoga. I wasn’t flexible the way he was. At least that was what I told myself.

  Ashton screeched to a halt a few centimeters away from me.

  “You’re home!”

  “It’s Wednesday,” I reminded him. Much had changed about Café Crave, but not that. Wednesdays were still the consistent day that was ours.

  “Mario’s made progress today!” His eyes lit up, cheeks rosy and nose slightly peeled from the sun. He hadn’t worn any sunblock. Again.

  He chatted about what Mario had accomplished today. The physiotherapist had been working with him now for three years, and he had gained enough strength in his legs to move around assisted. He was able to shuffle his feet but not by much. He responded well to the water as a part of his rehabilitation program.

  Mario didn’t just have the best physiotherapist Ashton was able to find in Ohio. He also had access to a cognitive and speech therapist who’d been working with him all these years. He couldn’t form full sentences, but he could give one-word responses or requests for us to figure out what he wanted.

  While Ashton gushed about Mario, I wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him into me,
not caring that he would get my clothes wet. His lips fell open, and I dipped my head to capture them with mine. His arms went around my waist, and he stepped even closer to me, his body bowing in submission.

  I grabbed that perky ass of ass until I remembered we had company. Randy was already used to our display of affection toward each other, but he didn’t need a live porn session in front of him.

  “Think I can steal you away for five?” I asked him.

  He nodded, his eyes alive with excitement. “Steal me away, Daddy husband.”

  I had proposed to Ash a day after his deadline. I would have done so before, but I wanted to watch him squirm a bit. When he learned I’d bought the ring two months before, he’d been upset with himself for giving me a six-month time frame to propose.

  Our wedding had been a small private affair a year after. With Ashton’s nursing studies, we hadn’t been in too much of a rush, and he’d been content just to wear my engagement ring. I swore he wouldn’t have minded being engaged still.

  “Hey, Randy,” I finally called to the physiotherapist.

  He merely gave me a wave which could have been misconstrued as dismissive. I’d known him now for three years, though. He didn’t like distractions when he was working with a client, and whenever he was around he was all about Mario. His dedication to his job and to Mario was admirable.

  Mario’s attention was fully on his physiotherapist, so I didn’t bother to break his focus. I took it as an opportunity to scoop Ashton up in my arms and head for the side doors. He buried his face in my neck but not before I saw his smile.

  “I like where this is heading,” he said as I took the stairs.

  “I bet you do. How was your day?”

  “So good. Yours?”

  “I couldn’t wait to get home to you.”

  He peeked up at me. “Whatever for?”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think you’re going to like what I’m about to do to you.”

  Ash’s affirmation board was the first thing I spotted when I entered the bedroom. He still kept to his routine of writing affirmations every single morning. When he had bad days, he might write on it several times during the day. His bad days were rare now, but sometimes a trigger sent him spiraling.