Love Finds A Way

by C. P. Watson

  “I’m not a cougar,” I mutter softly, obviously in denial. Labels, labels... I hate them.

  “Andy here hates it when anyone asks us if I’m his son,” Anderson clear his throat, and leans back, probably embarrassed. I would be too! Oh my god, is anyone gonna ask me that?

  “You don’t seem much older,” Bethany tells Anderson and he shrugs.

  “Eh, eight years is nothing. But that beard he grows out in the winter makes him look like an old grandpa,” I hold in a laugh, because I’ve teased him countless times about the bush on his face. He has a dimple on his chin, and if you squeezed the two sides together, it almost looks like a pussy! It’s so fucking hilarious!

  “You said you like it,” Flynn looks at his husband and sighs.

  “Not when it gives my thighs a rash because it’s so prickly,” I swallow and wave the waiter over to get us some drinks. That’s an uncomfortable image in my head, yikes!

  “Let’s discuss something more table appropriate, please? Bethany, are you excited for tomorrow?” Her hand tightens against mine, and my heart swells.

  “Yeah, it’ll be different from what I usually do. More permanent you know, I mean until my contract’s up and the screenwriter decides that it’s time to boot me,” her brow arches at Anderson and he chuckles.

  “That’s depends on the impression you make. But I’m confident you’ve already impressed the director,” I press my lips together and grit my teeth uncomfortably.

  “Yeah, I think I have,” she looks at me and wiggles her brows. She finds this amusing but I don’t.

  “So like, what’s with you two. Girlfriends or just lovers?”

  “Anderson, I forgot to wish you happy birthday,” I get up and walk over to his side of the table. He rolls his eyes, as I pull him in for a hug.

  “Happy Birthday from me too,” Bethany’s eyes land on mine, and I can see that she’s waiting for an answer to Flynn’s question. But didn’t I ask her to be my girlfriend already? And she didn’t answer!

  “Yeah, yeah, he’s one year more in the rabbit hole. But seriously, are you two just a fling or something more?” He waves his hand in the air, representing his curiosity. Anderson nudges him, as I head back to my seat, the table becoming silent.

  “Shall we order? I’m starving,” Flynn shrugs and opens his menu.

  “Yeah, let’s order then.”

  The rest of the night goes pretty smoothly, and we avoid any talk about relationships. By the time it’s ten, they have to head home to relieve the babysitter. And I’m happy that the night ended early because I’m exhausted.

  CHAPTER 10

  “She’s a star, isn’t she?” We’re on a break, and Bethany has been doing well so far. Other than a little bickering from Saskia, things are going smoothly. It’s like she’s meant for this part.

  I think that she also enjoys getting to be open about her sexuality. It’s not everyday that a lesbian can play the role of who she really is, so I’d say that Bethany’s living the dream.

  “Can I talk to you for a moment, boss?” My face heats up, as Bethany walks over to me, with the sweetest smile on her face.

  “Sure,” Anderson gives me a look and almost bursts out in a fit of laughter, as I lead Bethany into my office.

  “What’s up, babe?” I’ve gotten so use to referring to her in such an endearing way, that I want an unique pet name for her. I bet she’ll love it.

  “When’s your date with your ex?” That catches me off guard, and I have to take a seat. To be honest, I keep forgetting about that, since it’s so far at the back of my mind. But it’s there, like a clingy kitten—impossible to ignore.

  “Um,” she stands in front of me and crosses her arms over her chest, “I haven’t gotten around to actually—“ she leans down and places a quick kiss on my lips.

  “Good. I don’t want you to,” I hum and inhale a breath. I wish it could be that easy. Placing my hands on her waist, I lean my forehead against her stomach and sigh.

  “I don’t want to either,” she knows this, but it’s good to remind her, “I really don’t.”

  She runs her fingers along the back of my neck and fumbles with the end of my ponytail, “it’s settled then.”

  “Yeah,” I begin to worry. I already promised Ethan that I would, but how can I disappoint Bethany? If I were her, I’d feel the same way. I wouldn’t want the person that I’m with to have anything to do with their ex, much less go on a date with them.

  “And I’ll answer that question that I’ve been holding off after our date this Friday,” her thumb brushes against my ear, and I’m getting nauseated. I’m worried and excited at the same time.

  “What question?” I tease, as I lean back. She gives me a goofy grin and moves her thumb over my cheek.

  “Whether or not I’ll be your girlfriend,” it sounds so odd. Girlfriend. I sometimes feel too old to have a girlfriend. The word better fits people in their teens and twenties, not a fifty year old divorcee with four kids.

  They say fifty is the new twenty, and that it’s the prime years of our lives. But that’s just for us old folks to believe to keep our happiness and hope alive. I’m not that old, I believe. But reality and the mind tell time differently, don’t they?

  “I can’t wait.”

  * * *

  It’s Tuesday night and I’m on the couch watching the news, while eating a bowl of cereal. Looking through my emails, I receive a message from Petah.

  Open the front door.

  I groan and turn off the tv. Getting up, I carry my bowl over to the sink.

  Why should I?

  I pull up a picture of Bethany on my phone and sigh. With god's grace, I’ll get through the next few minutes without driving insane.

  Because I want to talk about things relating to our pregnant daughter.

  Oh right, as though that’s the only reason why you’re at my doorstep. I head to the front door and swing it open, only to see Petah standing in front of me with a bouquet of red roses. It’s a bad choice, since my favorite flowers are white lilies and roses are actually hers.

  “I thought you’d leave me out here in the freezing cold,” that’s unlikely, since we’re in the summer. She grins and stretches the flowers towards me. I frown and take a long breath, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “That would have been a good choice,” her jaw twitches nervously.

  “These are for you,” she hasn’t gotten me flowers since I won my first Emmy all those years ago.

  “What’s the occasion?” I take them and walk inside. I rest them onto the corner table and place my hands on my hips.

  “I just wanted to do something nice, Xo,” with ulterior motives. If she thinks that a shaggy bunch of flowers is going to make my panties drop to my ankles, she’s fucking wrong.

  “What about Jane do you want to discuss?” She stuffs her fingers into the front pockets of her jeans and tilts her head to the side.

  “The baby shower,” well, that’s an important topic. The last thing I need is a grumpy pregnant woman.

  “What’s her friends doing for that?” Apparently, her best friend is organizing it. But Tasha is more unreliable than my irregular period every month.

  “You know, virgin pina coladas and pink balloons,” that’s even more depressing than my baby shower.

  “I’m not getting involved. You can deal with that, can’t you?” She nods slowly, as though waiting for me to continue. I hate making Petah sad, but she seriously needs to back off now. What happened to giving me space? It makes me wonder if something happened to make her suddenly so interested in me.

  “Okay then,” she finally mutters, and a few random possibilities runs through my mind.

  “Are you sick?” I ponder, “cancer? Organ failure? Anything of the sort?” She shakes her head and rubs her hand across her face.

  “No, Xo. I don’t have to be dying to want to be with you. I’ve actually realized that I made the biggest mistake all those years ago and I want a second chance,” dam
n right your biggest mistake. I’m amazing.

  “A little too late, don’t you think?”

  “Is that because of that little girl?” Little girl? My eyes narrow. Seriously? She’s twenty fucking five.

  “Comments like that lessens your chance of ever stepping foot into my house again.”

  “If I remember correctly, you used my money to buy this house,” yeah, that’s the last straw. I used what I was entitled to from our divorce.

  “You should go,” I head to the door and swing it open, almost knocking myself down doing so.

  “Xiomara?” That sweet voice fills my ear, and my cheeks heat up when I see Bethany standing there, with a single, white lily in between her fingers. As soon as she sees Petah, she moves the flower behind her and smiles awkwardly.

  “Oh hey,” I say embarrassed, “Petah was just leaving,” the glare that my ex is giving Bethany is making me even more uncomfortable.

  “You should place those roses in some water, Xo,” Petah brags, as though her bouquet triumphs what Bethany has. But at least she knows what my favourite flower is, unlike you.

  “I was just stopping in. I can go if you’re busy.”

  “No, no,” I stretch for her hand and pull her inside, while Petah watches in envy, “I was just thinking about you actually.”

  I lace our fingers, as I look at Petah, wondering why she hasn’t left yet. Bethany pulls her hand away. And grips the step of the lily with both hands.

  “You do know she’s a child,” Petah grumbles and crosses her arms over her chest. I’m unthreatened by what she said, since Petah’s criticisms means little to nothing to me. Of course I know Bethany’s young, but Petah’s just being nasty.

  “And what about the neighbour’s daughter who Mary caught you with? Isn’t she a tad too young for you?” I snarl, and her face becomes a bright shade of red.

  “That was,” she scrambles for words, as I place my hand on the small of Bethany’s back, “that’s different.”

  “Well, this is different too. So can you please leave?” Petah scoffs and shakes her head. I’m ready to throw her out myself, but this belle next to me is stopping me from turning into a demon.

  “Have fun while it lasts,” the bitterness in her tone is unsettling. What she said makes me insecure about my relationship with Bethany. Will we last?

  Petah storms through the door and I immediately close it, “I guess that drama hasn’t settled yet,” Bethany moves the lily against her chest, before stretching it towards me.

  “I just want to be cuddled up with you,” I touch the petals with the tip of my index finger, “where’s my baby boy?”

  “He’s with my aunt for the night. I thought that I’d take the chance to come see you,” it makes me so happy that she’d spend her free time with me, “this is for you by the way,” I pull her into me and cup her cheeks with my hands.

  “Want to help me throw out some red roses?” She tilts her head to the side, indulging in the warmth of my right palm.

  “I think I’ll just head home,” the sigh that escapes her lips makes my entire chest tighten.

  “Why?” She breathes in and moves away, pressing her lips together in discomfort.

  “I just—“ she shifts, “I didn’t think it would bother me so much,” her eyes flutter, and I become confused, “Xo—“ her eyes close, “did you break off the date with her or not?”

  Fuck. Not that question of all things, “I, I haven’t had the chance. I—“

  “It’s inconsiderate for me to feel jealous. I know that you’re just looking out for your kids, but—“ I take her hand and lead her over to the couch. I need to sit to hear this.

  “It’s too much for you?” I knew this would be a problem. My life’s a bit complicated right now and I never wanted to drag Bethany into it.

  “I’m afraid that you might still have feelings for her,” I’ve assured Bethany that I don’t numerous times, but I understand why she wouldn’t believe me. Petah and I will always be complicated, no matter what. We have kids together and they can be a handful. Regardless of feelings being involved, this will never simmer down.

  “I really don’t, Bethany. But I can’t promise that she won’t be apart of our lives. My kids mean the world to me, and their mother means the world to them.”

  “I understand,” she gets up, my heart inside of my throat, as she walks to the door, “I just need some time to think.”

  I nod, my insecurities falling into place, right where they belong.

  CHAPTER 11

  “So?” My arms are crossed over my chest, as I look at Petah with the most deadliest glare. I’ve been miserable for the past few days, with only brief messages from Bethany.

  “Can you try to be civil with me? At least try?”

  I shrug. Within ten minutes, I’m ready to abandon this meetup. I won’t call it a date because I don’t consider it one. Today’s the same day that I was planning to take Bethany out on a date, which makes my temper a lot worse.

  “I’m trying my best,” I check my phone for any messages from Bethany. Sadly, there’s none. Not a fucking hey, hi or even a k.

  “Messaging that girl again?” I’m furious by the lack of communication from Bethany, and the unnecessary drama from Petah.

  “Petah, is this really what you want? You want me? You want me to be miserable? Should I just lock myself in a fucking cage and be your slave? Is that what you fucking want?” I slam my hands onto the table and stand up. I’m in such a bad mood that I don’t even care about the eyes that have landed on us.

  “Xo, sit and calm down,” I grab my purse and check the time on my watch. It’s only seven at night, and maybe, just maybe, Bethany will be home. I really need to talk to her.

  “I did this for the kids. But you’re really crossing the line now,” before she can say anything to justify her actions, I storm out of the restaurant and head to my car.

  On the drive, I know that I should head home to take a shower before heading over to Bethany’s. I don’t want to smell like anger and fury when I’m with her. I just want to wash away that entire meetup with a hot bath.

  My phone begins to ring and I check the screen to see that it’s a call from Jane. Petah must have given her a call already.

  “Yes?” My voice is harsh, and my throat’s dry too.

  “Mom, are you okay?” I sigh and tighten my hold on the steering wheel.

  “She called you?” Jane doesn’t have to answer for me to know, but I appreciate confirmation.

  “Yeah, I just wanted to check in on you. Get home safe, okay?”

  “Sure,” I mumble and end the call. I pull into my driveway, and surprisingly enough, Bethany’s there, sitting on the porch bench, holding a bottle of wine.

  I get out of my car, as she stands and shifts on her feet, “I know that today’s suppose to be our big date, and I’m sorry for being so distant,” I pull her into me, needing to feel her body against mine. I’ve missed her alot, that’s for sure.

  “I’m sorry too,” I whisper against her ear, her hand moving over my back and onto my waist.

  “I hope you don’t mind if I come inside,” I giggle and kiss her cheek softly.

  “Come inside dork,” as she hums, I lace my fingers with hers and open the door, fumbling with the keys.

  “Can we drink wine, kiss and makeup,” we head over to the couch and she places the wine onto the center table.

  “Yes, I’d love that,” I begin to caress her cheek with the pad of my thumb, “maybe a little kissing too?”

  “Definitely,” I look into her eyes, and fear rises inside of my chest. Petah seems to be a major issue for us, and I’m not sure how we are going to get past that.

  “We can still go out for dinner, make our date more traditional.”

  “I’m not a traditional girl, but I can eat,” she pokes the tip of my nose.

  * * *

  “It’s nice to see you two again,” the bartender says, as we take a seat at the bar. The restaurant's c
rowded and we have to wait for a table. Given the disaster with my previous date this evening, I’m thankful that it was at a different restaurant.

  “I’m not sure that we’ve met,” Bethany replies, while he pours two glasses of red wine. It’s one of my favorite bottles to indulge in.

  ”Rodney,” I narrow my eyes, “you two make a cute pair.”

  “Oh,” Bethany presses her lips together, as a blush invades her cheeks, “thank you.”

  “A table is available,” a waiter comes over, one that I’ve known for a few years. We’ve never really spoken to each other, other than him taking my orders, but the grin on his face makes me know that he knows that I’m in a relationship with a younger woman. Yes, yes, judge all you want, but I’ll gladly take her home tonight.