Cromwell kept writing, rustling the pages of the guidebook.
Liza leant back against the wall. Everything was just like the night before. A thick layer of dust still coated the sideboard, dirty plates were still stacked on the stained tablecloth. And it was just as silent. And, probably because everything was just like the night before, she felt sad and anxious once again.
“We’re leaving tonight.”
But the thought offered her no comfort. Just as on the previous night, she felt anxiety seep into her blood with the cold. Her hands started shaking again.
“I know what this is. It’s anxiety before a big journey. Everyone gets it. It even has a name—Reisefieber.”
But her hands shook more and more, and her heart beat heavily and anxiously.
“Crom, are you finished?”
“Just a minute.”
She heard the rustle of paper amid the silence. Liza sighed. How hard it was, how wearying.
She couldn’t wait to get out of this abandoned house. The sooner the better. Andrei could at least come down to say goodbye. No, she must stop thinking about Andrei.
Why did she feel so anxious? What was weighing down on her so?
“Liza!” she heard Nikolai call out loudly.
Liza jumped to her feet and ran into the hallway. It was all going to be over now. They were going to start fussing and packing and then they’d leave. What was there to worry about? Everything was going to be all right.
Nikolai came down the stairs and walked over to her with long, decisive strides.
“Put your coat on,” he said, his voice hoarse. “You’re going to go out into the garden and if anybody comes, you’re going to say that nobody is in and that you’ve locked yourself out and can’t get in. Do you understand?”
“What?” Confused, she looked at him closely. Only then did she notice that he was very pale. “Why do I need to go out into the garden?”
“Stop asking questions, do you hear me? Don’t you dare come back in until I’ve unlocked the door. Get your coat on now.”
“I…” she whispered, as her legs started shaking, “I don’t want to. I won’t go. Why should I?”
He held her by the shoulder.
“You won’t go?” he repeated slowly. But it wasn’t Kolya any more, it wasn’t her brother. It was a stranger, a frightening figure. A figure capable of anything. For the first time ever, Liza feared for her life.
He took her coat off the stand.
“Chop-chop. If anyone turns up, don’t let them in. Understood?”
She took a long time putting her coat on. Her arms kept missing the sleeves. Fear constricted her throat, ran down her arms, her breast, her back, all the way down to her knees, making her legs feel hollow and weak, as if the bones had been taken out. She had no strength left to stand, her legs no longer held her up and she wanted to collapse onto the floor. But fear pounded her from the inside out: “Keep standing, keep standing. If you fall, it’ll all be over.”
She darted to the exit, but Nikolai barred her way.
“What about your hat and your gloves?”
She held out her trembling hand to receive her beret. He opened the door for her.
“Go on. And don’t forget what I said.”
As she passed him, she put all her concentration into staying upright.
“Don’t let anyone in.”
A light breeze struck her face. It was almost spring-like. She grabbed onto the handrail as she made her way down into the garden.
“What’s going on? What am I doing here?”
She sat down on the bench and gripped its arms with both hands.
The trees inclined over her, swaying and slowly dissolving. The sky trembled and shook, and slowly lowered itself over the house, the garden and Liza herself, enveloping everything in a thick, cold grey fog. She felt as if she were at the bottom of a river, not in a garden, and surrounded by water, not fog.
Liza drew a deep breath and the fog flooded her open mouth, like water. She wanted to cry out, but the fog choked her. It enveloped her heart and her brain, and no longer did she feel frightened or distressed.
She rested her head against the back of the bench. It was just a dream.
“I must be dreaming.”
The grey density of the fog was disturbed by a long black motor car. It moved through it slowly and silently, like a large fish. Large round headlights that looked like fish eyes shone out brightly.
“I must be dreaming,” thought Liza in confusion. “This is all a dream—the fog, the garden, the motor car.”
The motor car pulled up right beside the garden fence. A tall man in a grey overcoat climbed out. He pushed open the garden gate. Through the dream, through the fog, she saw Nikolai’s angry face and heard his hoarse voice pronounce right in her ear: “Don’t let anyone in.”
She jumped up and her dream became reality. Or perhaps reality became her dream.
“Can I help you?” she called out.
“Is this where the Russians live?” asked the man in the grey coat.
“What Russians?”
He stepped towards her, straining to see her in the dark.
“Oh, it’s you,” he said in French. “You were in the restaurant that time, with Cromwell.”
“You’re that man. You’re his cousin.”
She recognized him too.
He nodded. The trees were swaying silently above his head. Two strips of light from the headlights cut across the darkness of the garden.
“Yes. You see, I wanted to ask you something. Cromwell left home last night and hasn’t been back. He didn’t come to see you, did he?”
“No,” Liza quickly replied. “We haven’t seen him for over a month.”
“He mustn’t know that Cromwell is here with us.” The thought rang out in her head.
“He left home and hasn’t come back. Everyone is looking for him. A report has been filed with the police.”
“The police?” she said.
“Yes. I remembered that you were his friends. He told me your address some time ago, but I had forgotten the surname. I thought that perhaps he might have come here.”
“No, Crom hasn’t been back here since that night at the restaurant.”
She shook her head.
He leant over her and she saw that he was smiling.
“Do you remember sticking your tongue out at me?”
“I was very angry with you. Forgive me.”
He laughed.
“You’re such a funny thing. I thought you were quite grown-up then, but you’re really only a child.”
“It was the dress.”
“But I could tell straight away that you were very pretty.”
She said nothing.
“What are you doing out in the garden so late? It’s cold. You’ll catch a chill. You should go home.”
“I don’t have my key. I can’t get in. There isn’t anybody at home, so I’m waiting for my brother to return.”
He took her hand in his.
“You can’t stay out here. It’s too cold. Your hands are completely frozen already. Let’s go to a café or something. We’ll get you some grog to warm you up.”
She shook her head.
“No, I have to wait for my brother.”
“Then let’s go and sit in the car, it’s much warmer there.”
She obediently followed him to the motor car and climbed in.
He wrapped a fur blanket around her.
“That’s better, isn’t it?”
“Yes, much better.”
He switched on the light.
“Let’s see what you look like then.”
She lifted her worry-ridden face up to him.
“I look like this. Does it please you?”
“Terribly!” he said quite seriously. “What’s your name?”
“Liza. Elizabeth.”
“I’m going to call you Betsy. May I?”
She was still in a dream. The automobile, the blac
k trees, the stranger in a grey coat. It was all a dream.
She shook off the blanket and ran her hand through her hair.
“Do sit still, you’re cold as ice!”
She laughed. How easy it was to be carefree. She could no longer tell whether she was frightened or elated.
“I understand that Cromwell was in love with you.” He paused. “I’m in love with you myself.”
“So soon?”
“So soon.”
She stretched out her legs and rested her feet against the side of the car. Slowly, she rolled down a stocking and pointed to a bruise on her knee.
“Look, I fell over yesterday. It hurts.”
He leant over her legs.
“Won’t you kiss it better?”
He touched her smooth, cold skin with his lips. She gently pushed his head away.
“That’s enough. You can go now. If my brother comes back, I’ll be in trouble.”
“Is he very strict?”
“Horribly!” She jumped out of the car. “Goodbye now!”
He caught her sleeve.
“When can I see you again?”
“I don’t know. You must go now,” she insisted.
“Can I visit you tomorrow?”
“No.”
“Then let’s have dinner out tomorrow.”
“No.”
“Now look here.” He reached into his wallet and extracted a calling card. “This is my address. Hide it. Call me and tomorrow we can go for lunch in some chic restaurant. Will you promise to call me?”
She slipped the card into her coat pocket.
“I promise. But you must go now.”
“I’ll be waiting. Goodbye.”
The automobile pulled away.
The fog had cleared. The street lamp was on. A round white moon hung high in the sky. Liza’s hands were cold.
The moon lit up the pink house. The pink shutters were shut, and the curtains in the upstairs windows were drawn.
“What can they be doing up there? Why can’t I go indoors?”
She walked up to the porch.
“I’m cold. I’m going to ring.”
But she didn’t dare climb the steps to ring the doorbell.
“I’ll wait a little longer.”
Upstairs, a curtain twitched. A narrow yellow ray of light fell across the ground. Someone’s face briefly appeared in the window before the curtain was drawn again. Liza lifted her head and looked up. But the curtain hung still.
“What’s going on? How long do I have to wait here, and why?”
Suddenly the front door swung silently open. Nobody came out. The door stood open, revealing the dark hallway inside. All was still.
Liza stood there motionless, staring at the black rectangular hole.
“Come on, then,” she heard a quiet voice say.
Slowly, she climbed the steps and passed through the door into the hallway. Nikolai was standing by the door. His shadow stretched all the way up to the ceiling.
“Close the door,” he whispered. “Who was that?”
“It was Cromwell’s cousin.”
“What did he want? What did you say?” His frightened whispering continued.
“He wanted to know whether Crom had been here. I said that we hadn’t seen him for six weeks.”
“What else did he say?”
“Nothing.”
“He didn’t say that he’d be back tomorrow?”
“No.”
“So he believed you?”
“Yes. Why is it so dark in here?”
“Hold on.”
Nikolai turned the key in the lock and switched on the light. He was just as pale as before and he looked exhausted. His arms hung limply by his sides.
“Listen,” he said hoarsely. “We’re not going. That Cromwell changed his mind at the last minute. I gave him back the money and diamonds.”
Liza clasped her hands to her breast.
“We’re not going?”
“He refused to sign a document. We had an argument. He… he left.”
“He left? But I didn’t see him go.”
“He used the back door.”
Andrei appeared from the drawing room. His shirt collar was wide open. Damp hair stuck limply to his forehead.
“Go to bed, Liza,” he said, without looking at her. “After all, you didn’t get any sleep last night.”
Liza started slowly climbing the stairs.
“Would you like some tea?” Nikolai called after her.
She didn’t reply. She merely went faster.
In her room, she sat down in the armchair without even bothering to take off her coat.
“We’re not going, we’re not going, we’re not going,” she kept repeating. “It’s all over. We’re not going.”
She heard footsteps on the staircase. They entered the adjoining room.
“It’s fine,” she heard Andrei say. “We can go to sleep now.”
“No. We have to check the bathroom. I think there’s still… Come on.”
“I can’t. I just can’t. You go.” Andrei’s voice was breaking. “I can’t any more.” He was almost crying.
“It’s all right, it’s all right,” Nikolai whispered. “Lie down and have a little rest. I’ll go.”
Footsteps descended the stairs. A strange sound could be heard amid the silence—the sound of factory workers scrubbing a shop floor.
Liza listened to the sound. “What is that? Should I go and look?” But she didn’t move. “No, this has nothing to do with me. I must hold myself together.” She clenched her hands into fists. “This has nothing to do with me.” She drew her neck in, hiding in her coat like a snail in its shell. “This has nothing to do with me. I must go to bed,” she thought. “I must go to bed, to sleep. I’m tired and I must sleep.”
Without bothering to switch on the light, she got up and removed the velvet cover from the divan.
“I mustn’t think of anything. I must sleep. I’m tired.” She closed her eyes. “I’ll count to a hundred, and then another hundred. I mustn’t think of anything. Forty-five, forty-six, forty-seven… I must sleep.”
“Liza,” Nikolai called out quietly.
“What is it?”
Liza sat up. Her head was as clear as day, as if she hadn’t been sleeping at all. Nikolai stood before her, wearing his pyjamas. The door to his room was wide open. A yellow lamp was shining on his desk.
“Liza dear, I’m sorry I woke you. I thought you were awake.” Nikolai was smiling guiltily. “Andrei and I can’t get to sleep. I thought you couldn’t either. We’re too on edge because of the trip and this whole saga.”
He fell silent. Liza clasped her hands. She had to hold herself together. She mustn’t be weak.
“Liza darling,” Nikolai pleaded pitifully. “Come and sit with us, come and talk to us a little, Liza darling.”
“Of course.”
Liza got out of bed, threw a shawl over her nightdress and followed Nikolai in her bare feet.
Andrei was lying on the narrow divan, under the same chequered throw that Cromwell had used the night before.
“I’ve brought the little songbird to entertain us.”
Nikolai lay down on the bed and pulled the duvet over himself.
“Make yourself comfortable at my feet, Liza darling.”
Liza sat down and wrapped herself in the shawl.
“Well, Liza darling, tell us a story!” Nikolai asked.
“What kind of story?”
Nikolai laughed.
“What’s with the tone? You sound like a schoolteacher. And your voice is very wooden. Are you angry that I woke you up?”
Liza shook her head.
“No, not angry.”
“So what’s the matter with you then?”
“I’m just very tired.”
“You’ll be back asleep in no time, no time at all. Don’t be angry. We’ll buy you a fox stole tomorrow. You’ve wanted one for a long time. We’ll buy it tomorrow.” Nikol
ai was pleading with her gently.
Liza was looking straight ahead, at the yellow lamp.
Andrei lifted his head off the pillow.
“Don’t be such a bore, Liza. Tell us a story.”
“But I don’t know what kind of story to tell you…”
“Oh, come on.” Nikolai took her by the elbow. “You can think of something, you’re so clever and such a good sport! Do you remember how you used to read me fairy tales at night when we were little?”
At this, Andrei perked up.
“You know fairy tales, Liza? Tell us a fairy tale. It doesn’t matter which one—we just need to get to sleep.”
Liza kept looking straight ahead.
“Very well.”
“Come on then, come on,” Andrei egged her on.
Nikolai rested his head back on the pillow.
“Liza, do you remember the one about Carrotine Leopardine? Do you remember that one?”
“I do, yes.”
“Well, tell us that one.”
Liza wrapped the shawl tighter around herself.
“All right, listen to this one. Once upon a time,” she began in an even voice, “there lived a very important lady. She was called Carrotine Leopardine von Strippe. She was very important and very rich, and she kept her own horses. Her mother and father were rabbits. Ordinary grey rabbits. And she was ashamed of them. So one day…”
Liza carried on with the story of Carrotine Leopardine von Strippe and her rabbit parents, for a long, long time.
Nikolai was first to fall asleep. Liza turned her head.
“Andrei, are you asleep?” she whispered.
Andrei didn’t answer.
She got up and tiptoed back to her room.
“Now I can go to bed, too. Now I can sleep, too.”
She stretched out under the blanket and closed her eyes. She kept her hands clasped tightly, to hold herself together, to be strong, not to let on, even in her dreams.
XII
THE SOUND of a door slamming woke Liza up.
“Kolya!” she cried out. “Andrei!”
But all was still.
She got up, drew apart the curtains and looked out.
A yellow Citroën was parked by the garden gate. Andrei was crossing the garden, carrying a suitcase. His hat perched low over his brow and the collar of his coat was turned up. Nikolai was following him, hurrying along and continually glancing back over his shoulder. In his hand he carried a second tightly packed suitcase.
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