Carolyn beamed at the praise. Sometimes, Derek was of the mind that Carolyn cooked for them because she enjoyed the compliments as much as they enjoyed the food.
It certainly beat anything that Derek could whip up. Taking another bite, he glanced over at Emilia. She was staring at him strangely.
“So, you’ve been here in Texas for a while?” Her voice sounded strong, but Derek could tell she was uncomfortable.
“Yes, quite a while. I have my ranch here next to your aunt’s.” After he’d said it, he realized that Carolyn had already told her that earlier. What was wrong with him tonight? Why did Emilia make him feel so flustered? “Are you planning on staying out here long? Or headed back to Ohio?”
“I’d like to get back to Ohio as soon as possible. My family is there, after all.”
“Well, your folks should come out here. I bet your pa could make a mighty fine ranch,” George remarked as he reached for another slice of freshly baked bread and slathered it in butter.
Derek watched as Emilia’s face twisted with pain. It was only for an instant, though, and he was fairly certain he was the only person who had noticed. “My father passed away some years ago.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. That must be powerful hard for your family.” George fidgeted in his seat, and Derek was happy he wasn’t in his friend’s position right now.
“It’s fine. My mother and sister are getting along fine. I’m not sure they could find steady work here, though.”
“You’re right. Not a lot of women have jobs out here. No offense, Mrs. Carson.”
Carolyn gave a smile in George’s direction. “None taken.”
“You know, those women in Ohio, are they starting with these new-fangled ideas I’ve been hearing about?” George continued unabashedly.
“What ideas?” Emilia looked up and Derek could tell that she knew exactly what ideas he was talking about.
“You know, thinking about changing the way things are done and stuff. Women working outside the home. I don’t believe it’s proper. A woman’s place is at home with her children. She should be cooking good meals, like your aunt does.”
Derek sucked in a breath. The talk of women pushing these ideas was just that: talk. No one really knew what was happening with the movement, and a lot of people didn’t even talk about it. He saw no reason to bring it up here with Emilia. After all, what did she have to do with it?
“I-I don’t know.” Emilia turned her focus from George to Derek. “You didn’t say where you were from.”
It was a statement more than a question, but Derek decided to answer anyway. “I’m from Philadelphia, originally, but my family is in Ohio. Desmond, Ohio, to be specific.”
Emilia’s face went pale, if that were even possible, and she looked positively bothered. Derek was about to ask if he’d said something wrong when she stood abruptly from the table.
“If I may be excused, I actually need to get some air.”
Carolyn nodded with a worried look on her face, and before anyone could say anything else, Emilia had brushed past everyone out of the cabin, to the porch.
“Did I say something wrong?” Derek asked, addressing Carolyn. She shrugged, a look of confusion on her face.
“I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t paying enough attention to understand what could have upset her.”
Lily and the boys looked equally shocked.
“You know, sometimes you aren’t the most charismatic person,” George said to Derek.
“I only said where I was from. Should I go talk to her?”
Again, no one seemed to know what to say, so Derek decided on his own. He put his fork down and stood. He was pretty much done eating, anyway.
He stepped out on to the porch, scanning the area for Emilia. She had walked a bit out into the yard and was leaning against a tree a few feet away.
Derek thought for a moment that he should just give her space, but then he knew he needed to talk to her. Otherwise, he’d never know what this was about.
Chapter 9
Emilia’s heart pounded in her chest. It was him. She’d felt as if she recognized him from the moment that she had laid eyes on him.
Why? Why did Derek have to be that man? Eddy and Eli looked up to him, and from the way Carolyn talked about him, she practically worshiped the ground he walked on.
Surely it couldn’t be. He was playing some game, deceiving these people about who he really was.
“Are you all right?” Derek’s voice startled her, and she pushed off the tree she had been leaning on and turned away from him.
“Fine. Fine, thank you.” Emilia tried to keep the emotion from her voice. This man had hurt her before, and she wasn’t about to let it happen again.
“You seem upset. Did I say something wrong?”
“We’ve met before.” Emilia didn’t want to explain. She didn’t understand why he was making her.
“What do you mean, we’ve met before?” To his credit, it did sound as if he was puzzled. Emilia wasn’t surprised that he didn’t remember her, though—she had looked quite different at fifteen.
The year her father died, she had lost weight and she had suffered from a sadness beyond what she thought was possible.
“At your parents’ home. When you moved to Desmond. My mother came to your house when your mother hosted a tea party. She made me come, and you made fun of me in front of everyone.”
“I would never do that! Look, I know that you think—”
“I remember you. That night was miserable and you… never mind. I just want to be left alone, okay?
“Look, it wasn’t me. I can explain.”
“Please, just stop! I asked you to leave me alone. How can I be more clear? I know that you are important to the Carson family, and they are probably important to you. But just do what you do with them and leave me alone.”
Emilia hoped that her voice communicated her message clearly. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to say it again. She had barely been able to say it the first time.
She began walking away as fast as she could and didn’t look back.
“I don’t have time to worry about anyone but the Carsons, anyway. I’ll see you around, Miss Emilia,” he called after her. The courtesy and coolness in Derek’s voice made Emilia feel strange things.
She still felt afraid and angry, but she felt almost bad, too. She turned and watched as Derek turned on his heels and hurried into the cabin. A few moments later, he and George rode off into the night. Emilia stayed outside for quite some time. She wasn’t yet ready to go back in and face questions.
What in the world was Derek doing out here in the west?
“Are you all right?” It was the second time that she’d been asked that, but this time it was Lily standing in the shadows, a shawl wrapped around her shoulders.
“I think I’m fine.”
“What was that all about?”
“I used to know him in my town,” Emilia explained softly. She didn’t want to tell Lily too much. It wasn’t her place to ruin what Derek had built with the Carsons. If he ever chose to tell them about his past, that was up to him.
“You were friends?”
“No, we just met briefly. We should go inside, it’s getting chilly out here. I didn’t expect to ever feel cold again.”
Lily giggled and pulled her into a half hug as they headed back to the cabin. Emilia’s thoughts took her back to that night.
For the rest of the evening, Emilia didn’t say much. She helped pick up after dinner and even read a chapter of a book to the twins, but then she retired early to her room. She needed some time to think.
She pulled out the little picture of her parents and let her mind wander to her past. It seemed as if it was only yesterday.
“Why do I have to go, anyway? Why do any of us have to go?” Emilia protested yet again. Her mother shot her a stern look, and Emilia knew that it was time to stop complaining.
The sound of conversation spilled into the street along with the li
ght coming from the house. Whoever this family was, they certainly had money. They had bought the largest house in town and were already building an expansion on the bank.
For a moment, Emilia felt intrigued, but only for a moment. It was quickly replaced with dread.
“I’m going in to say hello to the women; I’ll take Mary with me. If you insist, you can wait out here.”
Emilia nodded, happy her mother had at least allowed her to stay away from the hustle and bustle.
Emilia sat herself down on the porch steps. She looked up at the sky and spotted what looked like a million twinkling stars. She remembered the times when her father would sit on the porch and stare at the stars with her.
The thought that he would never see the stars again broke her heart. The last couple of weeks had been torture. Every time Emilia thought that she was all right, another memory would attack her, sending her into tears and thoughts of grief.
“Look who it is.” A voice made Emilia turn. A boy was standing there, definitely older than her. In fact, he looked like more of a man than a boy. She had never seen him before; maybe he was one of the children of the new family who had moved to town.
Emilia opened her mouth to speak but no sound came out. Three or four other young people had gathered around at the sound of this young man’s voice. He must be popular, and for Emilia, that was never good.
“It’s the crazy man’s daughter,” one of the other boys said.
Emilia drew in a sharp breath and pulled her coat a little tighter around herself, looking around for the nearest escape. She should have hidden or stayed in the wagon. She never should have come to this party, even with her mother, not that she had been given much choice.
“Just leave me alone.”
“Why?” the first boy said in a taunting voice. He took a step toward her, towering above her by nearly a foot. “You going crazy already? You know, it’s hereditary. Pretty soon they’ll be putting you in the crazy house. I’ve heard all about your family—poor, and crazy to boot.”
“No, they won’t, and my father wasn’t crazy.” Emilia realized too late what she’d said. She’d defended him. She always did in her heart, but never out loud. He had thrown things sometimes. She had even heard him yelling on occasion, but never at her. He would just scream and throw things at no one in particular. And then, suddenly, he would be fine again. Her father had loved her. He didn’t deserve such things to be said about him.
“He wasn’t, was he? See, she’s one of them already!” The boy’s voice had attracted more onlookers. Some of the adults had glanced their way but none moved to intervene.
Emilia spotted an opening down the steps and hurried toward it.
“Running away won’t help you. Craziness can’t be outrun. It will catch up to you someday.”
Emilia ran through the dark, her heart pounding into her throat. She hated that young man. His face was burned into her memory. She would never forget him.
Whoever this family was, their son was cruel and mean, worse than the children in town. They whispered about her and avoided her, but they had never been that cruel.
Tears ran down Emilia’s face as she ran, until her foot caught on something, throwing her down onto the ground. She started coughing and couldn’t stop.
The air was forced out of her and she pulled her knees up against her chest. She wasn’t sure where she was, but she was far enough away for no one to see her. She desperately tried to slow her breathing and stop the cough that threatened to tear her in half.
She wished that she could stay there forever, hidden in the shadows.
A tear ran down Emilia’s cheek as she thought of that night. It was a memory she had tried to forget. Most days, she was successful, but every once in a while, it would rear its ugly head once again.
It had only gotten worse from there. She had run into the boy a couple more times in town. He hadn’t spoken to her again, but she could feel his mocking gaze as she passed. She couldn’t remember his name, but she knew it hadn’t been Derek. He must have changed it so no one could recognize him. She knew she was right. She could never forget that face.
Emilia took a shaky breath. She was going to steer clear of Derek, no matter what it took.
Chapter 10
The night played out over and over in Derek’s mind. He couldn’t imagine why Emilia seemed to dislike him so much.
Obviously, she seemed to have had some experience with his family. He pulled off his boots, throwing them one at a time across the room. It made him angry. Of course, it did.
It was the worst part of having a twin, sharing his face with a person who was his complete opposite. He had been about to explain that to Emilia, but she had wanted to hear none of it. She wasn’t even willing to listen to an explanation from him. He had had this exact thing happen to him for as long as he could remember.
Everyone has always said how lucky he was to have an identical twin. Maybe their faces were identical, but that was about it. There was nothing else identical about them.
Derek’s dog, Champ, tucked his cool muzzle into Derek’s hand.
“It’s okay, boy. I guess I let the moment get ahold of me, there.”
Derek hated feeling angry. It was a feeling he had experienced nearly every day when he had lived with his family—a feeling he’d thought he had left behind in Desmond, Ohio. Of course, everyone had their bad days and was bothered at times.
But his family and things that had happened with them caused plain infuriation. Champ whined and adjusted himself.
“I know, I know. She’s just a girl from Desmond. She had nothing to do with me.” Derek liked to imagine he was having a conversation with his dog, even though he knew the animal didn’t understand a word he was saying.
“Let’s get some rest, bud.” Derek laid down in his bed and snuggled underneath the heavy quilt.
He had promised Carolyn that he would come early and help repair a broken spot in the horse pasture fence. Apparently, some of the horses had tried to escape and caused some damage.
He hadn’t told Carolyn what Emilia had said to him. He would let her do that, if she chose to. Carolyn knew who he was. She wasn’t going to be swayed by whatever narrative Emilia chose to believe about him.
Derek remembered her accusations. They were actions that he knew his brother was capable of. In fact, he was quite certain that she probably remembered his face saying terrible things to her, but it hadn’t been his face. It had been his brother’s.
It made it all the worse. He knew that he shouldn’t be angry at her. She didn’t know that he had a twin, or that he’d never really even lived in Desmond but had continued on out west when his family had moved there.
He just told people he was from there to avoid the questions when he told them he was from Philadelphia.
There was no way he could possibly have done anything to Emilia, since he had literally never slept a night with his parents in Desmond. He had traveled straight out west, not wanting to spend another moment with his family and their lies. Derek puffed out his cheeks in frustration as he let out a breath. Tomorrow was another day. Hopefully, it would be better than today.
An Enduring Love to Heal Her: A Historical Western Romance Book Page 8