by Iona Rose
“I’m definitely thankful for that too,” I say.
We’ve reached the dumpster. Erika opens it and deposits her few bits into it. I haul my things in and then I crush everything down so we can fit some more in. I turn back to Erika who smiles at me and quickly squeezes my arm.
“Thank you. For being mad on my behalf,” she says.
I flash her a quick smile, not trusting myself with words right now. I am elated, my heart is singing. She squeezed my arm. She made an excuse to touch me. My plan is working. Erika is starting to see that she made a mistake letting me go. It’s only a matter of time until she is mine once more now.
After Erika’s touch on my arm, I’m no longer pissed off that I’m only meant to be helping her and yet somehow seem to be doing the bulk of the heavy lifting. In fact, I tell her I can take the rest out and she should stay in here. She argues at first, but it’s the sort of argument someone puts up when they really want to lose. It’s nothing like the way she would argue with me when I told her we were meant to be together and she disagreed. No she meant that one.
I brooded on it the whole way back to the dumpster. I had to break up the pieces of the coffee table a little bit more to get them to fit into the bin. It felt good smashing that lump of wood into bits. It got some of my anger out and I reminded myself once more that the past didn’t matter now. I just had to look to the future. A future where Erika and I could be together again. She was starting to want that. She had touched my arm. I just have to keep it together and see it through until she’s mine once more.
As I calm down, picturing Erika and me cuddled up on the couch together, I become aware of eyes on me. I glance up to see an old man peering over the fence watching me.
Great. The nosy neighbor strikes again.
Erika’s house is a semi detached house and I have a feeling it was this nosy old bastard that called the cops the last time I was here. It had to be him. He was the only one who might have heard the banging and the shouting.
I am momentarily consumed by anger again but I swallow it down. Yelling at the old man isn’t going to win me any points with Erika. And the more I think about it, the more I see that his calling the cops when he did was actually a good thing really. He stopped me before I could hurt Erika anymore. He gave me a chance to get her back. I can’t help but be annoyed at him for interfering though. Another thought strikes me as I look at him. What if he saw me here that evening? What if he recognizes me?
I smile at him and he smiles back. It’s a tentative smile, but it’s a smile all the same. That’s good. If he recognized me, I don’t think he’d be smiling at all. No, he’d be back in his own house, calling the cops again. Interfering in things that don’t concern him again.
He’s still just standing there staring at me and I am standing staring back. I am aware this isn’t normal behavior, not from either of us, and I force myself to act normally, like I would if I wasn’t on edge and this happened.
“I’m sorry about all of this. Did the noise disturb you?” I ask.
Translation – Did the noise mean you simply had to come out and put your nose into my business once again?
“Not so much disturbed me,” the old man says. “I was just worried when I heard so much banging. After what happened here last week.”
“I’m Jeremy,” I say with a smile. I walk towards the fence and offer the old man my hand. He shakes it, although he makes no effort to give me his name. “I’m a friend of Erika’s. I’m helping her clean up the mess the attacker left. The noise you heard was me breaking up the coffee table so it would fit in the dumpster. The attacker broke it, but not enough for it just to drop in.”
“Jeremy? Is everything ok?” Erika calls from behind me. “You’ve been out here for ages.”
“Everything’s fine,” I call back. “I’m sorry to worry you. I was just talking to your neighbor.”
The old man has relaxed now that Erika has called my name and made it clear she does indeed know me. His smile looks real this time.
“I’m sorry to have disturbed you,” he says.
“Not at all,” I say. “I’m just pleased Erika has a neighbor who looks out for her.”
“I do what I can,” the old man says with a proud smile.
“Mr Pritchard,” Erika says warmly as she comes to stand beside me. “I was going to come and see you when I was finished cleaning up all of the mess inside. I wanted to thank you for calling the police. I assume it was you?” She pauses and Mr Pritchard nods. “You probably saved my life so thank you. And if there’s ever anything I can do for you …”
Mr Pritchard waves her offer away.
“I just did what anyone would have done dear. I’m honestly just glad that you’re ok. I wish I was twenty years younger and I would have come in and gotten rid of the bastard myself. What sort of a coward attacks a woman?”
I nod my head, agreeing with Mr Pritchard, but really, what does he know? It’s not like I just decided to beat Erika up. She was making me angry, refusing to see sense, and it just kind of happened. And twenty years younger or not, if he had tried to stop me, he would have ended up regretting it.
“I would have been by sooner,” Erika is saying. “But I’ve been staying with a friend. I just came by to get some things and I ended up sticking around to sort out some of the mess in the living room.”
“Is it bad?” Mr Pritchard asks.
“It was pretty bad,” Erika says. “But it’s almost sorted now. Jeremy dropping in and giving me a hand really helped.”
I beam at her. She’s seeing it now. She’s seeing that I can help her. That I can make her life easier.
“I’m glad you’re ok anyway,” Mr Pritchard says. “I’d best be getting back inside. Once you’re back home, just knock on my door anytime if you need anything ok?”
“Thank you. And the same goes for you,” Erika replies.
We stand in silence for a moment as Mr Pritchard heads away back to his house. Erika turns to me after a moment and smiles.
“He’s such a nice man isn’t he?” she says.
I nod my head. What else is there to do?
“He came over because he heard banging and wanted to see if everything was ok,” I say when I realize the nod won’t be enough.
“Banging?” Erika asks.
“I was breaking up the coffee table pieces to get them in the dumpster,” I explain.
“Oh yeah. Of course,” she says.
We head back to the house. While I’ve been out to the dumpster, Erika has finished the rest of the cleaning up and now the only thing out of place in the living room, except the obvious lack of furniture, is two black sacks full off trash.
“I’ll take those out,” I say, stepping towards them.
“Oh no it’s fine. They’re not that heavy. I’ll just take them to the dumpster on my way out,” she says.
“When were you planning on heading back to your friend’s place?” I ask.
Erika looks uncomfortable for a moment, twisting her fingers together and looking down at the ground and I realize she wants to leave now and is waiting for me to leave so that she can, but she doesn’t want to say so.
“It’s ok if you want to say now,” I tell her gently.
I would have liked for us to stay here for a while, just the two of us, but I don’t want Erika to feel pressured. I want her to realize for herself that we’re meant to be together and I want her to want to be with me because she wants to be, not because she feels like she has to be. Treating her gently like this will hopefully help her to see that for herself.
“I did kind of want to get going,” she admits. “It gives me the creeps a little bit being here.”
“Let’s go then,” I smile.
I place my hand on the small of her back and she doesn’t shrug it away. I think this is starting to work, but I tell myself not to push it too far too fast. I don’t want to scare Erika into pushing me away.
I start leading her towards the hall when she stops
and turns back with a quiet gasp.
“The trash bags,” she says, laughing and shaking her head. “I can’t believe I forgot them so soon after we talked about them.”
Was it because she was thinking about me? Because my hand on her back felt so good she couldn’t think about anything else? Maybe. Hopefully.
Erika picks the bags up and comes back to where I wait for her just inside of the front door. I take the bags from her.
“I can carry them,” she says.
“I know you can, but just because you can do something doesn’t mean you have to,” I smile.
She rolls her eyes but she smiles back at me. We reach the front door and she grabs her suitcases and lifts them through the door. I go off to the dumpster once more while she locks up the front door.
“Do you want this put out front?” I call out to her. “Only the trash men won’t know it needs emptying if we leave it right back here.”
“No its fine thanks,” she calls back. “I’ll sort it out once I move back home. It’s not like its stuff that will spoil or anything.”
I come back and take the large suitcase from Erika and hold out my hand for the small one.
“They’re on wheels,” she smiles. “I can manage them.”
I don’t argue with her. I don’t want to argue with her ever again. But I keep the big suitcase. She extends the handle on the little one and I do the same on the big one and we walk down Erika’s garden path. She pauses once we’re out of the gate.
“Well thank you for stopping by and for helping me,” she smiles. “I really do appreciate it.”
“That sounds awfully like a goodbye,” I say.
She just looks at me and I shake my head and smile at her.
“You don’t honestly think I’m letting you walk to your friend’s home on your own with two suitcases do you? Especially after what’s just happened to you?” I say.
“I’m fine Jeremy. Seriously,” she says.
I keep my tone of voice light, but I’m not backing down on this one. I want to know where this friend of hers lives in case I need to arrange to accidentally on purpose bump into Erika if she stops taking my calls again.
“Look, we’ve disturbed your neighbor once this evening with our banging. Do you really want to disturb him with the commotion of me throwing you over my shoulder and carrying you?” I say.
“Well when you put it that way, I guess you’re walking me home then,” Erika says with a soft laugh.
I smile along with her, happy to have won this one without having to resort to anything that could have been seen by Erika as going too far. Walking her home, keeping her safe, it all puts me in a good light, and it’s all going to help to make Erika see her mistake in thinking we’re not right for each other. And doing it all in a way that makes her laugh is a real bonus too.
Despite that, I feel a bit nervous. I don’t like the idea of Erika living with someone else. It’s going to make me getting access to her a little bit harder. If I want to see her, and drop around unannounced and Erika doesn’t want to see me, she can just tell her roommate to say she’s not home. I know when Erika and I are together, she’s easy enough to persuade around to things, but when there’s distance between us, she stands her ground easier. I think that’s why she stopped responding to my texts and calls and cut me off on social media. I think she was starting to see she had made a mistake, but rather than risk seeing me and having to admit to it, she just stopped talking to me.
I can’t let that happen again. I can’t let our communications break down. I think the way to handle this now is to not try and get Erika to admit she made a mistake. I think the way to handle it is to just let her slowly come around to the idea of us again and just fall back into our routine and not discuss the time we spent apart. Just forget it ever happened.
I know what I have to do in regards to her roommate. I have to meet her and be utterly charming to her, get her to see what a good guy I am and how perfect Erika and I are together. If I can do that, she’ll be less likely to play the gate keeper role for Erika and me. And she might even talk to Erika on my behalf (without me asking her to of course) about how we’re right for each other and Erika should give me another chance. I decide that is my best course of action.
“So who is this friend you’re living with?” I ask. “Anyone I know?”
Erika shakes her head.
“No. You two haven’t met. Her name is Nadia.”
“I figured you’d be staying with Jennifer. Or maybe Claudia,” I say.
“There’s no room at Jennifer’s and she has more than enough on her plate right now,” Erika says. “And Claudia is in Germany remember? She got that job over there.”
“Oh of course. I forgot about that,” I say.
It’s a lie. I’m just curious as to why Erika is staying with some friend that wasn’t even close enough for me to have met her. It comes to me quickly who this Nadia must be and I relax. She must be someone from the nursery Erika works at. The girls there are all pretty close but they don’t really do the couples socializing thing so the only one from her work who I have met is Laura who we happened to run into on the street one afternoon. That must be it.
“How long until you can go back to work then?” I ask.
I know how much Erika loves her job and that she’ll want to be getting back to it as quickly as possible.
“A couple of weeks,” she says with a grimace. “I miss it already.”
“Just concentrate on getting better for now,” I say. “Work will still be there when you are feeling better.”
“You sound like my doctor,” Erika laughs.
“Then obviously your doctor is wise,” I say, nudging her playfully with my elbow.
She rolls her eyes but she’s laughing. I love her laugh. It’s such a nice sound. So inviting and pretty. So … so Erika.
“Well this is me,” Erika says after we’ve been walking for a couple more minutes.
She’s stopped in front of an apartment block. I look around quickly. It’s a nice enough area and I think she’ll be safe here. The building itself looks well kept and although there is an intercom system, there’s no door man and I think getting in would be easy enough. Usually in these set ups, if you ring every bell, someone will buzz you in without even bothering to answer the call. Or I could always say I was delivering something.
I shake the thoughts away. None of that is going to be necessary. Erika is coming around. She will buzz me in herself when I drop by, I know she will.
A few seconds have passed since Erika announced that this is her building and we’re both just standing there, neither one of us speaking or moving. It’s clear she has no intention of inviting me in right now, and this is getting awkward. Should I push for an invite or take it slower than that and just say goodbye and leave?
“It looks nice here,” I say.
It’s lame but it’s something to break the silence while I decide how to play this.
“It is,” Erika says, looking relieved at the break in the silence. I think her relief might also stem from me not asking if I can come in. That’s not great, but it tells me that pushing her now might not be a good idea. “I think I’ll settle in here well.”
I decide that the best idea for me now might be to insist on helping Erika up the stairs with her suitcases. I won’t ask to be invited in if she still doesn’t extend the offer, but I think she will. It’s much harder to turn someone away from your doorstep than it is to just not invite them into the building.
I open my mouth to tell her to lead the way when she smiles over my shoulder and waves. I glance behind me to see who is coming. Maybe this is my chance to start working on getting her roommate on our side.
It’s not. The person Erika is smiling and waving at is a man. I feel rage burn inside of me, but I swallow it down quickly. Yes, the man is good looking. Yes, he looks like he works out. But that doesn’t mean anything is happening with him and Erika. He could be a neighbor or anything.
>
He has reached us now and greeted Erika. Erika smiles warmly at him. This guy is no random neighbor. This is someone Erika has set her sights on. I can tell by the way she smiles at him, both warm and yet kind of coy at the same time. It’s the way she used to smile at me.
I push the jealousy down once more. This guy was just a pit stop, someone Erika used to distract herself from thinking about me. But I’m back now, and he’ll be out of the picture soon enough.
“Jeremy, this is Aidan, Nadia’s brother,” Erika says. “Aidan, this is my friend, Jeremy.”
Friend huh? It’ll be more than that soon enough. Hearing that this man is Nadia’s brother would be reassuring to me if it wasn’t for the way Erika looked at him when he first joined us and the way he’s looking at her now. It would have explained who he was and why he was here. But now, looking at the way they are together, I think he’s here for her. And getting him off the scene will be much harder when Erika is living with his sister. Dammit. This complicates things, but it’ll all work out in the end. I’ll make sure it does.
I force myself to smile at the enemy and extend my hand. Aidan shakes it. I wanted him to have a limp handshake, but he doesn’t. Of course he doesn’t. He’s Mr Fucking Perfect.
I have to get away from here now before I say or do something that will make it harder for Erika to accept the fact that she’s meant to be mine. I need her to see it in her own time, and if I tell this Aidan man to fuck off away from my girl, that process is going to take even longer.
“I should get going then,” I say to Erika. “Now you have someone to help you get your things inside.”
“I told you I am perfectly capable of pulling two suitcases by myself,” Erika smiles.
Aidan doesn’t give her a chance to prove it. He’s taken the suitcase from me without me even registering what is happening. He isn’t saying much, but he’s looking at me with suspicion on his face. He knows Erika is meant to be mine. He knows I will take her back away from him.
“And this is why chivalry is dead,” I laugh, focusing on Erika, refusing to look at Aidan.
She rolls her eyes and shakes her head.