by Lisa Stone
She wiped away a tear. She felt guilty. It was her fault her mother was being hurt. If she hadn’t agreed to come here with Colin, she would have been at home now and able to help her. Her mother had warned her not to trust men and she was right. Colin had been kind when he’d seen her on the estate and had talked to her nicely, with respect. He’d given her pretty things, bought her food, listened to her problems and said he understood her. He’d said she deserved better than the life she led. If she’d known what he was really like she would never have agreed to come to his flat. Never!
There was something about him now – the way he looked at her. It reminded her of the way some of the men her mother brought home looked at her, but at home she could lock herself in her bedroom to stay safe. Now the bolt was on the outside of her door, which didn’t make her feel safe at all. In fact, she now doubted Colin was any better than many of the men her mother had brought home.
A loud crash sounded on the floor above, together with her mother’s piercing scream. Then it went quiet. Leila waited and listened, hardly daring to breathe.
‘Mummy?’ she asked in a small voice, aware her mother wouldn’t be able to hear her. ‘Are you all right?’ She got off the bed and looked up at the ceiling and waited. Nothing, not a sound. ‘Mummy?’ she called more loudly. Then she shouted, ‘Mummy!’
She listened again, but it remained quiet in her mother’s flat. What had happened to her? She ran to the bedroom door and rattled the handle, then banged on the door with her fists. ‘Let me out! Colin! I want to go to my mummy. She’s hurt. Colin, let me out!’ She banged again, harder still.
Suddenly Colin’s voice came from the other side. ‘Shut up. Someone will hear you.’
‘No! I want to go to my mummy. She’s hurt.’
‘You’re not going. She’s not your problem. Get back into bed and stop making a noise or something bad will happen to you too.’
‘I’ll shout until someone hears me,’ she cried, made brave by concern for her mother.
The bolt slid open on the outside of the door and then Colin stood before her, his face bulging with anger and a silk scarf pulled tightly in his hands. ‘Any more noise and I’ll tie you up and gag you.’
She looked at the scarf and didn’t move.
‘I mean it.’ He took a step towards her and raised the taut scarf. ‘Be quiet and go back to bed or else.’
At that moment the doorbell rang. Colin started in horror. ‘Now look what you’ve done! Get under the bed.’
She hesitated.
‘Now! Or you’ll be sorry.’ He came towards her, his jaw set, twisting the scarf as if about to use it.
Leila dropped to the floor and scrambled under the bed, pulling the door to behind her. The doorbell sounded again.
Hot and sick with fear, Colin looked at his watch. It was nearly ten o’clock. Surely it wasn’t the police again at this time?
‘Not a peep or you’ll be sorry,’ he hissed, and kicked the bed to emphasize the point.
No sound came from under the bed. Satisfied, he left the room, bolting the door behind him. Another small tap on the front door, then a voice he recognized. ‘Colin, it’s me. Open up. Quickly.’
He took the front door key from his trouser pocket and unlocked the door. ‘What do you want?’ he asked anxiously as Doris Goodman stepped in. ‘You weren’t supposed to come here. There are police everywhere.’
‘No one saw me. They’ve gone now, although doubtless they’ll be back in the morning. You’re going to have to move Leila tonight.’
‘Why? That wasn’t the plan.’
‘And neither was you returning to the flat to get her teddy bear! That was stupid. Thanks to you the police are working on the assumption that she’s still in the area. Why the hell didn’t you buy her a new teddy bear like you did all her clothes?’
He stared at her. ‘She wanted that one,’ he said pathetically. ‘She made such a fuss – someone would have heard her. Don’t blame me. You were the one who told Kelsey you’d seen Leila go off with a man.’
‘Because I knew it was likely someone else saw you in the play area, and the lads certainly saw me watching from my window. It wouldn’t have taken much for the police to find out I was lying and that I must have seen something. Calm down. We can sort this out. Where is she now?’ Her gaze fell to the twisted scarf Colin still held tightly in his hands. ‘Where is she?’ she asked again, desperation in her voice.
‘Locked in her room. I haven’t used this. What do you think I am? I just threatened to gag her if she made a noise. You told me she’d be happy to stay with me, but she’s not. I’ll go to prison for a long time if the police find her here.’
‘Stop panicking. You’ll give yourself away,’ Doris said sharply. ‘You can move her earlier than planned – tonight. The cottage is empty, and the police are bound to up their search of the estate tomorrow. You have a choice, Colin: either leave tonight or sit it out as we planned if you think you can cope with that.’
‘Supposing she won’t go?’ he asked nervously.
‘Don’t be silly! She’s eight years old. She’ll do as she is told. Do you want me to talk to her?’
‘If you think it will do any good.’
‘Kids trust me. Pack what you need and I’ll speak to her. There is nothing to link her to you, but make sure you take all her stuff to be on the safe side and give the place a good clean.’
More agitated than ever, Colin disappeared into his bedroom as Doris unbolted Leila’s bedroom door and went in. ‘Leila?’
The door below the bed opened and Leila climbed out, her expression a mixture of surprise and fear. ‘What were you doing in there?’ Doris asked.
‘I have to hide when anyone comes to the door.’
She sighed. ‘I suppose he knows what he’s doing. There’s nothing for you to worry about, but we do need to have a chat. Come and sit beside me on the bed.’ She took Leila’s hand and drew her to sit next to her.
‘Colin is a good man,’ Doris began.
‘No, he’s not. I don’t like him. He’s horrible to me.’
‘What makes you say that?’ Doris asked, suddenly concerned.
‘He gets angry with me. He wouldn’t let me help Mummy and makes me do things I don’t want to.’
‘What sort of things?’ Doris asked suspiciously.
‘He makes me play games and clear up the mess I make.’
Doris gave a small laugh. ‘Colin doesn’t know much about children and what it’s like to be a father. He’s having to learn. Just as you’re having to learn how to be a good daughter.’
‘Am I his daughter?’ Leila asked, surprised.
‘Yes, in a way.’
‘Why?’
‘You need proper parents, a new start. Leila, we’ve been watching you and your mother for some time and know the sort of life you have and it’s not right. You told me yourself you weren’t happy and sometimes wished you could be adopted. Trust me, this is for the best. But you must help Colin by doing what he says.’
‘I’m worried about my mummy,’ Leila said, her voice small. ‘Someone was in our flat hurting her. I told Colin and he wouldn’t let me go to help her.’
‘That was the right decision,’ Doris said calmly. ‘Your mother isn’t your responsibility. Would it help if I went to check on her?’
Leila nodded.
‘And then you’ll be a good girl for Colin?’
‘Yes.’
‘Excellent.’ She rubbed Leila’s arm reassuringly. ‘You stay here then and try to get some rest. I’ll speak to Colin and then I’ll see your mother. You’re going on a long journey tonight.’
‘Am I? Where?’
‘It’s a secret,’ Doris said, putting her finger to her lips.
‘Are you coming?’
‘No. But I will see you again, I’m sure.’
‘What about Mummy? Will you tell her where I am and that I love her?’
‘Of course. Now try to get some sleep. And Leila, whate
ver happens I want you to forget I came here and that we had this conversation. Do you understand?’
‘Yes.’
‘Good girl.’
Having settled Leila in bed, Doris left the room and went to find Colin. He was in his bedroom, agitatedly throwing clothes and other essential items into a suitcase.
‘She’s fine now,’ she said, watching him. ‘Calm down. You’re not leaving yet. It’s too early. Wait until later, after the pubs close and the estate clears.’
‘I should never have agreed to this,’ he cursed. ‘It was madness.’
‘But we both know why you did, and I doubt it was because of an altruistic urge to save the child.’
Colin stopped what he was doing and glared at Doris. He was about to say something but changed his mind.
‘You’re too far in now to get out,’ Doris said. ‘Treat the kid right and she’ll cooperate. And remember, don’t phone me or anyone else until all this calms down. The police are bound to start monitoring calls of any suspects before long.’
‘But they don’t suspect me,’ he said.
‘No, and there’s no reason for them to as long as you don’t panic and give yourself away.’
Doris watched him a while longer as he anxiously dropped items into the case, only to take them out and repack them again a moment later. He was his own worst enemy, she thought.
‘Stick to the plan and you’ll be fine,’ she told him again. ‘Goodbye, Colin, and good luck.’
He didn’t answer. She turned, left the room and let herself out of the flat. Of course the child would play up to start with; Colin should have been prepared for that. He was so naive and spineless. Going back for that teddy bear had been downright stupid. He’d panicked. Another mistake like that might be their undoing. He’d known from the beginning what was involved, and these first few days would be the most difficult part. If he got through this, the rest should fall into place.
Doris continued down the stairs and headed across the play area towards her flat. She wouldn’t check on Kelsey now. It was too risky. There were still plenty of people out and about on the estate at this time. She’d taken a chance going to see Colin, but she’d had to warn him. Kelsey could take care of herself. She always had in the past. It was the child who needed saving and that’s exactly what they were doing.
FIFTEEN
Colin sat nervously by the window in his living room with the curtains parted and the light off, staring across the estate. It was raining, the steady drizzle of a cold November night, with a cloud-laden sky threatening more. Most of the flats were in darkness now, including Doris Goodman’s, apart from the porch lamp that she left on all night. He would leave at exactly 1 a.m., he’d decided, when the estate was at its most deserted on a weekday. At that time good folk were asleep in their beds and the druggies and alkies had disappeared for the night.
He’d thoroughly cleaned the flat, bagged up and thrown out all their rubbish, and Leila was at last asleep in her bed. She was still in her day clothes, so all he had to do was wake her and get her out the door and into his car without her making any noise. She seemed a bit more compliant now Doris had spoken to her, so hopefully that would continue. If not, he’d have the scarf at the ready to gag her if necessary.
He’d packed a couple of changes of clothes for him, toiletries for them both and all of Leila’s belongings, apart from her coat and shoes, which were ready in the hall. Everything else of his was staying. He’d buy new things once they were safely in the cottage, ready for his new life. But he mustn’t forget that bloody teddy bear, which had caused him so much trouble and Leila insisted on sleeping with.
Colin had no regrets about leaving his council flat and dead-end job. He’d grown to hate both. A new life beckoned in a way he could never have imagined a year ago, and as long as he didn’t panic or make another slip-up, their plan should work. Pity he had to put up with the child, he thought; she’d become the fly in the ointment. He’d never really liked kids and this one was proving less endearing than most. He supposed he could get used to her in small doses when he wasn’t solely responsible for her. She was a means to an end. But right now she was hard work and stressful. If things didn’t improve, he certainly wouldn’t let her get in the way of his future happiness. Plenty of kids disappeared abroad and were never seen again.
Colin studied his watch as it gradually approached 1 a.m. The time had come. He stood and, with trembling fingers, propped the suicide note he’d written on the coffee table so it would easily be seen if and when someone came into the flat. He checked the living room and kitchen one last time for anything that was out of place, incongruous with him having left without any intention of returning, then went to Leila’s room. While she’d slept, he had removed the bolt from her bedroom door and made good the screw holes as best he could. He was sure they wouldn’t be noticed among all the other scuff marks on the door.
By the light coming from the hall, he crossed to Leila’s bed. She was fast asleep on her back, hair spread out on the pillow, her face relaxed. She looked pretty like this, he had to admit, as a child should, without the harshness that usually blighted her features and innocence.
‘Leila, time to wake up,’ he said, tapping her shoulder.
She gasped and sat bolt upright. ‘Get away from me!’ she shouted, immediately on guard. Grabbing the bed covers, she clasped them to her chest.
‘Sshh, be quiet,’ he hissed, clamping his hand over her mouth. ‘Be quiet. It’s time to leave.’
She blinked, dazed, and then nodded. He removed his hand. ‘Come on, get up, we have to go now.’
She rubbed her eyes. ‘Did Granny Goodman see my mummy?’
‘I expect so. Get up quietly and put on your coat and shoes.’
‘I need the bathroom.’
‘Go then, but hurry.’
Leila clambered off the bed and took Buttons with her as she went to the bathroom. Colin stripped the bed, stuffed the bedding into a black sack he had ready and looked around, checking to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. He thought it looked like a spare room should now – ready for a guest, with a few bits of furniture but no personal items. It shouldn’t raise any suspicions if the police eventually broke in. He could imagine the chain of events when he didn’t show for work. His manager would ask his colleagues if they’d heard from him or knew where he might be, which they wouldn’t, as he didn’t have anything to do with them outside of work. Human Resources would then try to phone him, but his mobile would be off and his landline would go unanswered. At some point they’d become concerned enough to notify the police, who would eventually break in and find an empty flat and his suicide note.
Doris was right: if he kept his nerve and didn’t panic, it would all work out.
Colin heard the toilet flush and went into the hall. ‘Put on your coat and shoes,’ he told Leila as she came out of the bathroom, holding her teddy bear.
He checked the bathroom for any stray items and then put on his own coat and shoes. ‘So remember, not a sound until we are in the car,’ he warned her. She nodded seriously. He threw the holdall over his shoulder, picked up the suitcase and bin bag, and let them out. Leila gave a small cough. ‘Sshh.’ He glared at her and she put her hand to her mouth.
He kept close by her as they walked along the corridor, with her clutching her teddy bear. Her mother’s flat was only a flight of stairs away, within easy reach if she made a dash for it. But she was still half asleep and yawning, and she walked compliantly beside him down the stairs – the lift would have made too much noise – and then outside into the cold, wet night.
‘I don’t like the rain,’ she moaned.
‘Sshh, be quiet,’ he hissed, pushing her towards the car. ‘Don’t say another word.’
A motorbike could be heard entering the estate, then accelerating around the perimeter road. He’d heard it before on other nights – a few laps to wake the residents, then off again before the police arrived.
‘Get in,’
Colin whispered, opening the rear door of the car.
Leila did as she was told. Colin closed her door, then went to the boot where he put in the suitcase, holdall and bin bag, which he would dispose of en route. Once in the driver’s seat, he felt slightly better and pressed the internal locking system. He saw Leila looking out of her side window and up towards her mother’s flat. The sooner they were away, the better. Fastening his seatbelt, he turned the ignition. The engine whimpered and cut out. Shit! He tried again with the same result. It was an old car and sometimes played up in damp weather. He should have come down earlier and got it started and given the engine time to warm up, as he did when he used it for work in winter.
Colin glanced anxiously up at the windows of the flats, praying no one would hear them and look out. The motorbike began a second lap.
‘Won’t your car start?’ Leila asked.
‘What does it look like!’ he snapped. His stomach was knotted into a tight ball and he was sweating profusely despite the cold.
Calm down, he told himself, and gave the ignition another try. This time the engine spluttered into life. ‘Thank god.’ He touched the accelerator to give it some gas. He should really sit here for a while and let the engine run – otherwise it might cut out again – but he daren’t take the risk. It was imperative that no one saw them leave.
Gripping the steering wheel with his right hand, he gingerly engaged first gear and eased up the clutch, hoping the engine wouldn’t stall. The car slowly pulled away, gradually leaving their block of flats behind.
‘When will I see my mummy again?’ Leila asked from the back.
‘Never, if you’re lucky.’ He glanced in the rear-view mirror and saw she was clutching her teddy bear closer still.