by Sara Thorn
“No, I don’t think he did. He didn’t know what the ritual would do.”
“Oh, come on, Mara. It’s called a binding ritual for fuck sake. Surely you can’t be that naïve.” He immediately looked as if he wished he hadn’t said that last part. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“It’s okay,” I sighed. “You’re right; it was naïve. But I really don’t think Cassius knew about it. He wouldn’t keep something that huge from me.”
“You sure about that?” Quinn asked.
I knew what he was doing; he was trying to pit me against Cassius.
“Not even to trap you here with him forever?”
“Yes,” I said louder than I had intended to. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to convince Quinn or myself. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Okay, if you think so. If you need anything, I’m still here,” he said as he stood up to go back inside.
“Thanks.” I smiled.
I spent a few more minutes alone as I tried to dig out from under my mountain of thoughts. There wasn’t any point in being upset about it now because it wouldn’t change anything. But I was uneasy about whether or not Cassius knew that I wouldn’t be able to leave. I was mad at myself for even thinking that he would have tricked me intentionally. I knew in my heart that he wouldn’t do such a thing.
When I walked back inside the castle, the sky was already turning various shades of gold, and the light that spilled in onto the floor made it look like my footsteps were walking on a moving surface. Cassius was sitting at the table alone with a half-emptied glass of something that looked pretty potent.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I came to sit down next to him. “I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you. I know you wouldn’t lie to me, and I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
“It’s okay,” he sighed. “I would have doubted me, too.” He looked at me with sad eyes, on an evening that was supposed to be a joyous celebration.
I felt bad for him and for myself.
“I’m just not sure what to do about us, Mara,” he said as he leaned forward and put his hand over mine at the table.
“What do you mean?”
“What kind of future would we have together as human and dhampir?”
I couldn’t believe he was actually asking me that.
“You know that I love you, more than I can even bear at times. And there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do to be with you and keep you safe. But I can’t help but sometimes think that you might be better off without me.”
“What?” I shook my head and squeezed his hand. “How can you say that? Of course, that isn’t true.”
“I’m part monster, we both know that. My God, what would happen if one day we were to have a—” his voice cut short before he finished his sentence. “I just don’t know if this is good for you, if I’m good for you.”
I was so angry and scared and upset all at once. “How dare you!” I screamed at him as I started to sob. “How dare you say something like that to me now, after I have just been told that I will be trapped here on Mystreuce for the rest of my mortal life. After all that I have done and gone through to be with you.”
Cassius looked wounded. “Mara, I’m not saying that—”
“No, just shut up,” I said as I pushed my chair back and dropped his hand from mine. “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m here, and I’m staying. I’m the first human high consul of Mystreuce. And I will not let you push me aside in some misguided attempt at thinking that you’re saving me from you. I make my own decisions, and I am sick of you and Quinn and Athan and everyone else trying to make them for me.”
His jaw hung open as he watched my rant without knowing what to say to fix it.
“I love you, Cassius. But right now, I don’t like you very much.”
I turned around and left, wandering around the hallways until I found an empty bedroom and locked myself inside of it. This was supposed to be a wonderful day and night. We were supposed to enjoy a fun party, fall into bed around each other afterward, and wake up to a new reign full of possibilities. Instead, Cassius was pulling away from me in some self-piteous attempt at keeping me from seeing what a monster he thought he was. Quinn was magically rotting from the inside out. And I was torn about who I was supposed to believe. My heart wanted to believe Cassius but pulling away from me only made me question his love for me. Here I was, some high consul of a world that wasn’t mine but wouldn’t let me go. Torn between a man who loves me too much to let me in and one who loves me too much to leave me alone.
I curled up on the top of the bed in my party dress and pulled the blankets around me. The room was cold since it had been empty, and there was no fire in the hearth. I wanted to be curled up in Cassius’s arms, but there was no way any of this was going to work unless we could all trust each other. I couldn’t feel like I was alone in this world. I needed to feel like I belonged—with him. Maybe the best thing—now that there was no imminent threat lurking around the corner—was just to give everyone some time to think.
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine that I was on a big stage, dancing to an eager audience. I wanted to connect to the pieces of myself that had gone quiet and slid back into the crevices of my mind. I imagined the way that it felt to dance across all of that space and to feel the air moving around me as I turned and leaped. But when I looked out into the crowd, there was no audience there. There was only Cassius.
The feeling that I got didn’t make my heart sink; instead, it made me feel like I could soar. It made me feel like the only person I ever wanted to dance for again was him. But when Cassius went to raise his hands to clap for me, his hands were the deep violet that was so dark it made black look a shade lighter.
I threw my eyes open and stared out into the empty room. I had the uneasy feeling that things were slipping away and a shudder of panic that I needed not to let them. Maybe Cassius was part monster, and maybe Quinn was being changed somehow by the shadow magic he had used; it didn’t matter, I would tether them both to me and keep them both from getting lost to whatever threatened to consume them. I didn’t care what Cassius said or how angry he made me. I didn’t even care if he tried to push me away for my own good because I wouldn’t let him do it.
Chapter Fifteen
There was discord in the castle, and everyone could feel it.
I was not avoiding Cassius; on the contrary, I was actually spending most of the day helping him to get things settled for the humans who had decided to create a space to settle just outside the castle, and most of the nights wrapped in his arms in bed as I fell asleep to his gentle touch tracing over my side. But there was still a space between us which had not been mended. A space that was created when he hinted that I might be better off without him, and we never talked about it again.
That space would grow like a swelling storm until the matter was opened back up like a fresh wound and dug out. But I stuck to my instincts about giving it some time before we had that conversation again. So instead, we stayed together and enjoyed each other and looked across the roomfuls of people longingly as we wanted each other as much as always had.
I also focused on strengthening myself, giving myself a bit of time to think during various pockets of the day, and space to train more as a way to both become a better warrior like Cassius and also to release the pent up frustration that was still gnawing at my insides from unresolved issues.
Quinn was hot and cold. Some days he would engage with us and act as though everything was normal and the three of us were all friends. Other days, he would disappear for stretches at a time, only to re-emerge with a dark and jaded look about him. It was on those days that he would seem to watch me more, almost as if he were waiting for me to come to him. And it was on one of those days that I followed him as he went into the dungeons.
I hadn’t been to the dungeons since the night that I had gone with Cassius when he visited Athan for the last time. I had been curious about what had happened to Athan
and whether someone had removed his body, which by now had most certainly decayed. Although vampires were immortal, I wasn’t quite sure what happened to them if they were just left in a dungeon to rot without blood or food or anything else. I wasn’t sure if when Cassius told his half-brother to “rot” if he meant it literally or figuratively. I did, however, find it extremely odd that Quinn would have any need to visit the dungeons.
I crept down a short distance behind him, and when I got to the bottom of the staircase, I slid behind one of the corner walls to wait and listen.
“I’ll hear you out once,” Quinn said to someone in the prison cells. “But that is all. The only reason that I haven’t killed you is that I figured it would be more suitable to let you starve and suffer as you made me suffer.”
“You’re looking well now.”
Oh my God, that voice—Athan. How in the world is he still alive? And why is Quinn talking to him?
I felt a deep pit form in my stomach as I leaned up to the edge of the corner as close as I could without being seen.
“I can see that you’ve been furthering your abilities with shadow magic,” Athan said.
“What, you don’t think black is a good color for me?” Quinn said sarcastically.
I tried to peer around the corner just to catch a glimpse of them and was able to see Quinn as he took off his shirt to show Athan his chest and back, which were now more the color of eggplant than the color of his skin.
Athan laughed when he saw it. “Actually, I think it suits you quite well. There’s a fine line between letting that magic consume you and being strong enough to keep it under control.”
“Seriously, is this what you sent a message for me to come down here for? A lecture?”
“Not at all. Word travels, even into the depths of the dungeons. I know about the discord brewing in the castle. I know that Mara is upset and that she is trapped here in this world now. I know that Cassius is troubled and weakened by his affections for her still. And I also know that neither of them has a genuine fondness for what you are becoming. Cassius sees you as a threat, not only to Mara but also to himself and to Mystreuce.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” Quinn said impatiently.
“I can help you.”
“What could I possibly need your help for? You are withered and barely still existing, trapped within a dungeon and grasping at the bits and pieces of gossip that fall into your lap. If anyone needs help, it’s you.”
“Then perhaps we could help each other,” Athan says cunningly.
“Not a chance in hell.”
At least I could tell that Quinn was still on the right side of things.
“Let me show you a gesture of good faith by telling you of the dhampir prophecy,” Athan continued. “It is said, and seers have seen, that one day both the supernatural world and the human world will be united under one rule—the rule of a dhampir.”
“Sounds quite lovely.”
“Not as much as you would think,” Athan retorted. “When that happens, in order to level the share of power and prevent anyone from rising, the dhampir will level all of the magic equitably between all people. Since the ruler of Mystreuce has the power of the land in his support, he will have the power to do so.”
“And what does that do?” Quinn asked. He seemed a bit more intrigued and less aloof than a few minutes ago.
“For most people, not too much will change. The fae will still have magic, and the vampires will still have their powers. The humans will be pleased because they will have a tiny taste of magic at their disposal for the first time since magic was lost from their world countless years ago. But for some of you, the resulting consequences will be severe. The prophesied dhampir will ban shadow magic and all of the darker magics from both worlds, claiming it to be an unpredictable threat to peace. All of the power which you now draw from your magic will be lost to you.”
“I’d like to see anyone try to take it from me or stop me from using my magic,” Quinn said defiantly.
“They won’t need to. Mystreuce will render it useless. Even you won’t be able to stop it from being vanquished. And then there’s the issue of what will happen to Mara.”
“What will happen to her? She’s human; she doesn’t even have any power.”
“She didn’t have any power. But now, she does,” Athan said. “When I heard that Cassius had appointed her as high consul, a part of me wanted to get word to reach him merely so that I could gloat by telling him what a stupid fool he was for doing such a thing. No human has ever been bound to this world; she is the first. By doing so, Mystreuce has given her dormant magical gifts that will emerge when she is ready. But, since the power granted to her is foreign and not rightfully hers by birth, it will be taken back when the prophecy unfolds.”
“Okay, so she’ll lose her magic, big deal. She isn’t used to having any to begin with.”
“She won’t just lose it, Mystreuce will pull it out of her veins as if it were an unraveling thread winding through her. Her appointment has bound her to this world and its magic, not merely gifted it to her.”
“So when it gets taken back?”
“Mara will die.”
I ducked my face back around the corner just as I saw Quinn take a faltering step backward.
“That can’t be true,” Quinn said in shock.
“Trust me, it is. What benefit would I have to lie about such a thing from down here?” Athan said.
“Then why tell me all of this now? Why not let me wait and watch for the day that this prophecy comes?”
“Because I derive great joy in knowing who the prophecy is about.”
“Now is the part where you’re going to tell me that it’s Cassius, right? And this will make me hate him and want to get Mara away from him even more. Your schemes are transparently thin,” Cassius said. “There are other dhampir on this world, perhaps not here but still in existence. It could be any number of people.”
“It could be, but it isn’t. Ask your seer friend, Bree. She will tell you that what I have said is true. Cassius is the dhampir from the prophecy, and he will be the one to both take your power and Mara’s life.” Athan took a long and satisfied sigh. “Do what you want with the information I have told you.”
I pushed farther back into the corner of the corridor when I heard Quinn turn to leave back up the stairs. Of course, I was troubled about what Athan had said as I followed Quinn at a distance back up into the castle. But I was more troubled that he had said it to Quinn. I feared that Quinn would now do something reckless out of fear that Cassius would threaten his future freedom as a powerful magic wielder and out of fear that he would threaten my safety. I knew better. I knew that Cassius would never do such a thing, no matter what some stupid prophecy said.
There were people on Earth who tried to predict prophecies, too, mostly shenanigans and charlatans who got people so wrapped up around their tarot reading or mystical fortune that they ended up self-sabotaging their own goals and dreams to avoid the outcome that some gypsy had told them at a traveling fair. To think this was any different, even here in a world full of magic and mystics, was foolish. We each carved our own destinies; prophecies be damned.
I was so deep in thought that I didn’t even realize Quinn was standing at the top of the stairs when I arrived at the last step. I bumped into him and looked up startled.
“Quinn!” I said as I tried quickly to think of an excuse for why I had been right behind him.
“You’ve been following me,” he said.
“No, I haven’t,” I lied. “I was just—”
“In the dungeons,” he interrupted. “Don’t bother trying to lie your way out of that one because we both know you have nothing to attend to in the dungeons.”
“I was just looking for you,” I said quickly.
“Oh?” Quinn raised a curious eyebrow at me.
“Yes, I was trying to find you to ask you a question about what you said, the thing about being able to visit the
human world.”
Quinn’s expression immediately changed to be one of eager enthusiasm. I had a feeling that would put his mind off the dungeon.
“What did you want to ask me about it?” he said. “I’ll take you anytime you want to go.”
Whelp, now that I said it, it will look suspicious if I back out of it, and he will surely know I was lying about having been looking for him. There isn’t a way to back out of it now.
“Yes,” I said. “I want to go home for a bit. Can you take me?”
“Absolutely,” Quinn smiled.
“And it won’t put either of us in any danger?” I asked to be sure.
I was already feeling nervous about doing this. Cassius would not be happy that I let Quinn take me out of Mystreuce.
“Not at all. I promise.”
After deciding on tomorrow morning as a good time to disappear back to Boston with Quinn for a couple of harmless hours, I went to find Bree. The change of topic with Quinn had mostly eased his suspicions of thinking that I had heard him talking with Athan. Although, he did ask once if I had heard or seen what he was doing down there. When I told him that I hadn’t and that I had only made it down the steps and must have just missed passing him in one of the hallways, he then launched into a complete lie about how he was searching for some sort of “dungeon mushroom” that he had overheard one of the guards say that had seen down there. Even if I hadn’t heard him talking with Athan, I still thought it was such a lame story that I probably wouldn’t have believed it anyway. But I humored Quinn, and we both seemed to think nothing further of passing each other in the dungeon.
When I found Bree, I had to try to figure out a way to ask her about the prophecy without letting her know how I had found out about it. I liked Bree, but I wasn’t sure how much I could trust her. She seemed pretty smitten with Quinn, and since he was also teaching her a great deal of magic, she probably felt a loyalty to him, too. I had to come up with a way to find out what she knew without giving her reason to think that I knew anything at all.