“Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll chat with you tomorrow then.”
“Yeah . . . ,” he said, sounding reluctant, and she winced. “Okay, I’ve got to go. Take care.”
“You too,” she said, forcing the words out, hating how thick with tears they sounded.
“Bobbi,” he said, just before she disconnected, and her heart leapt hopefully. “Chase saw you leave this morning. He knows about us . . . our having sex. I thought you should be aware of that.”
“Oh.” Chase knew? How did he feel about it? What did he think of her? Of Gabe? She wanted to ask Gabe but he didn’t seem open to discussion at the moment.
“Thanks for letting me know.”
“Right.” God, he sounded so cold that it sent an icy tremor through her body. “See you.”
He disconnected before she could reply, and she carefully put her phone down and unseeingly stared at the shop floor through the windows of her office. Sean and Craig were working on the Corvette and she was taking care of the paperwork as always. She bowed her head over another of the endless order forms that was piled in front of her and desperately tried to keep her tears at bay. She never cried. Never. And she refused to cry now. She had gone into this knowing full well how it would end; so crying over it would be stupid.
She picked up her pen and started to write again. She was stronger than this. She knew she was. She wouldn’t cry. Not now. Not for this.
Gabe was miserable throughout dinner. He shouldn’t have told her not to come around. As the time came for his mother, Frank, and Kim to head home, all he could think about was that he wouldn’t be seeing Bobbi later. He thought about calling her and telling her to come by after his mother left, but he wasn’t sure if she was even speaking to him at the moment. He knew that he’d been a bit abrupt with her that afternoon. But once he explained the strain he had been under she would surely understand? Hearing that everyone thought that she was dating Kyle Foster hadn’t really helped the situation, not when Gabe suddenly and inexplicably found himself wanting to go out and tell everybody who she was really involved with.
He ignored the small voice in the back of his mind that told him he was a selfish arsehole and instead tried to figure out how to get her to come around. He was still trying to figure it out when he kissed his mother and hugged his stepfather and sister good-bye. Chase had been quiet throughout the evening and their mother had been extremely tactful around him. All in all it had been a relatively successful evening.
He dragged his phone out of his pocket, hoping to see a message from Bobbi, but there was nothing. His heart sank in disappointment and he knew he’d probably have to apologize for his earlier dickishness.
“Are you going to tell Bobbi to come sneaking over?” The unexpected sound of Chase’s voice startled him into nearly dropping the phone.
“That’s none of your damned business,” he growled over his shoulder and Chase glowered at him.
“Stop telling me it’s none of my business!” he retorted, coming around to face Gabe. “I love that girl like a sister and you’re my brother. Not only is this extremely weird for me, it is totally my business. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”
“Nice of you to show some concern for me too,” Gabe said sarcastically.
“You’ve been around the block a few times more than she has, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t stand to lose as much as she does,” Chase pointed out.
“What do you mean?” Gabe asked, confused.
“If . . . when this thing goes south, you’re going to lose Bobbi,” Chase said.
“No, we have . . .”
“An arrangement,” Chase completed. “Yeah, I know. You’re still going to lose her and I can’t believe you’re unable to see that.”
“We know what we’re doing,” Gabe maintained stubbornly, and Chase sighed.
“God,” he said tiredly. “I can’t decide if you’re being willfully blind or deliberately stupid. You know, Gabe, if it was just your happiness at stake, I’d leave you to make your own dumb mistakes, but I don’t know if I can stand idly by while you hurt Bobbi.”
“You seem to have an extremely low opinion of me, Chase. Why can’t you trust me to know what’s best for both Bobbi and me?”
“Because I don’t think you know what’s best, right now, Gabe,” Chase said, laying a gentle hand on Gabe’s shoulder. “I don’t have a low opinion of you. I just think you’ve lost sight of the bigger picture.”
“I’m going to bed,” Gabe said, shrugging off his brother’s hand. “Don’t worry, Bobbi is safe from my nefarious attentions tonight. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Bobbi didn’t hear from Gabe the next day, and she tried to keep her mind occupied with work. She was running on empty from lack of sleep and food. She felt like a zombie and was functioning on autopilot. She felt alone and desperately needed to talk to someone. So when Chase walked into her shop at five that afternoon, she felt a warm tide of relief and gratitude flood through her entire being.
“Chase,” she murmured, and dropped what she was doing to walk straight into his arms.
“Hey, sweetie.” He kissed her head and it was all she could do not to melt into a messy puddle of tears. “Want to get a drink somewhere?”
She nodded and his arms tightened for a brief moment before he looked down into her miserable face and dropped a swift kiss on her forehead.
“I’ll just tell the guys to close shop early and grab my things,” she said, feeling somewhat embarrassed. It was a relief that Chase knew about her and Gabe because it gave her someone to talk to, but it also made her feel incredibly shy and self-conscious. His eyes were filled with gentle understanding though and not in the slightest bit judgmental, which was something she had feared after Gabe had told her that Chase knew.
Sean and Craig had watched the scene unfold and both looked concerned when she told them that she would be leaving early. Craig followed her to her office and watched as she shut down her computer and straightened up her desk.
“You okay, boss?” he asked gruffly. “We noticed that you seemed off today. We were worried about you.”
“Thank you for asking, Craig,” she said, touched by their concern. “I’m fine, just feeling out of sorts. You know how paperwork depresses me.”
He looked unconvinced and shoved his hands into his overall pockets and swayed back and forth on his heels.
“You sure?” he asked, and she felt a surge of affection for the tough, no-nonsense man. He had a rough exterior but he was a huge softie, a family man devoted to his wife and daughters. That paternal instinct sometimes carried over in his dealings with Bobbi.
“I’m sure . . .” She went onto her toes and pressed a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”
He looked embarrassed and cleared his throat before backing away.
“No problem. Anytime you need to talk . . .” He left the statement open-ended and hastened out of the room. Bobbi grinned at his retreating back before unzipping her overalls and hanging them up on the hook beside the door. She rinsed her face and hands before heading back out to meet Chase.
“Ready?” Chase asked, when she joined him again and she nodded.
“You drive,” she suggested. “We can come back here later to pick up my car.” He nodded and led her toward the Jeep that he always drove when he was home. The Jeep belonged to Gabe, but he was always happy to let Chase use it.
Chase automatically ran ahead to get the passenger door for her and she smiled at him in appreciation as she clambered into the seat. The Jeep was like a comfortable old friend. She always felt a fuzzy sense of homecoming when she slid into its passenger seat.
When Chase climbed into the driver’s side, Bobbi turned to speak to him.
“Do you mind if we avoid Manny’s tonight?” she asked softly. “I’m not really in the mood to hang out with everybody.”
“Yeah, me either.” He grimaced at the thought. He drove them to the nearby Hout Bay instead, which had
more choices when it came to restaurants and pubs. They agreed on a place that neither had been to before, less chance of running into chatty old friends that way.
Once they were seated and ordered their drinks, they stared at each other for a long while.
“I guess you think I’m an idiot.” Bobbi broke the silence between them, toying with the basket of cutlery on the table.
“Not even close.” He shook his head. “I think Gabe is the idiot.”
“For getting involved with me?” she asked miserably.
“For not telling the world that he snagged you,” Chase corrected, and she raised hopeful eyes to his, not sure if he was joking. His eyes were serious and met hers without flinching, and he only broke eye contact when the server brought his beer and her gin and tonic.
“You mean that?” she asked, after the smiling server had left, hating the wavering note in her voice.
“Damned right I mean that,” he growled. “He’s made a complete mess of things.”
“Try not to judge him too harshly, he’s doing what he thinks is right,” she said softly, fishing the lime out of her drink and dropping it onto a paper napkin. “He didn’t know how to handle the attraction between us. It shocked the hell out of him, and he’s still not sure how to cope with it.”
“You seem to be handling it just fine,” Chase pointed out, and Bobbi flushed miserably. She focused on swirling the plastic swizzle stick around her glass, making sure her drink was thoroughly mixed, before raising her eyes back to his.
“I’ve had more time to get used to it. I’ve been attracted to Gabe for years and I’ve learned how to deal with my feelings. Gabe . . . hasn’t yet.”
“Years?” Chase asked in disbelief, and Bobbi nodded.
“Years.”
“You never let on, not once,” he said, sounding staggered.
“I still haven’t. He thinks this is as new to me as it is to him and I feel dishonest because of that. And he would still quite happily be treating me like his little sister if I hadn’t gotten drunk at a party last Friday and kissed him, so don’t go thinking he seduced me or anything,” she warned.
“Still, he finds that he has a previously undiscovered passion for you and his first instinct is to cover it up?”
“Chase, one day I was his best buddy, and the next day he was fighting to keep his hands off me.” She was trying to be logical and hated herself for defending Gabe despite knowing that it would be unfair to blame him for every wrong choice. “I should never have kissed him. I didn’t know how he would respond and I’m pretty sure I wrecked our friendship because of one reckless and stupid decision.”
Chase took a long, thirsty swig of his beer before he replied.
“I don’t like the secrecy, Bobbi,” he said, and she sighed.
“I knew what I was doing when I agreed to his terms, Chase. I just didn’t expect it to be so difficult. One minute I’m floating on cloud nine and the next I feel . . . small and unworthy and just so stupid.” Chase swore roughly and she flinched.
“I want to kill him for making you feel like that,” he growled, and she reached over to stroke his hand, where it rested beside his drink.
“Thank you but . . . he’s not the one who made me feel that way. I am. I agreed to his terms, I thought I could handle it. A quick affair, that is all he has to offer. At first I thought—” She broke off what she’d been about to say, knowing that it would only infuriate Chase further. Admitting that she’d expected Gabe to want a proper relationship with her after discovering his attraction to her still made her feel ridiculously naïve.
“At first you thought . . . ?” Chase prompted, and she shook her head, sipping her drink to avoid replying.
“It’s nothing,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, and Chase’s face was a study in sheer frustration.
“Bobbi, you do know that you deserve more than this shoddy treatment, right?” Chase asked, and she sighed.
“I know. I just spent years mooning over the guy and this seemed like the only way I could get him. I knew that it would be temporary; I knew that it would place an enormous strain on our friendship and I kind of knew that it would probably hurt like hell when it ended. Knowing all of that doesn’t make the process any easier though,” she admitted.
“This is such a mess,” Chase said.
“Hmm, but it’s not your mess, Chase. Gabe and I will deal with it. I need you to be my friend though, and Gabe needs his brother. We don’t need you to take sides . . . please don’t take sides,” she said, her voice soft with entreaty.
“Both you and Gabe keep saying that you know what you’re doing,” Chase observed in a low voice. “But from where I’m sitting you both look totally clueless. It’s frustrating the hell out of me because it’s like I can see the road ahead of you and it’s leading straight off a cliff.”
“I see the cliff,” she said. “I’m pretty sure Gabe sees it too . . . but sometimes falling is just inevitable.”
CHAPTER TEN
Gabe kept checking his phone for messages from Bobbi but of course there were none. He knew that she wouldn’t call or SMS—not after the way he had blown her off the night before—but he didn’t know what her reaction would be to a call from him.
He missed her.
Not just the sexy woman who had become his lover but the endearing friend who brightened up his days with her endless chatter about cars, her silly pranks in the past, and her quirky—often insightful—observations about life in general. It was after ten and he was sitting in the den, morosely staring at his phone, unsure of his next move.
Chase ambled into the room and Gabe’s first instinct was to tuck the phone beneath the sofa cushions. Chase raised an eyebrow at him and Gabe flushed, feeling like a defensive teenager.
“Really?” His brother shook his head and sat down on one of the recliners. “You’re hiding your phone from me? Just call her. It’s better than having you mope around the house.”
“I’m not moping,” Gabe responded automatically, and then felt even more adolescent. Sometimes his brother brought out the worst in him.
“Could have fooled me.” Chase rolled his eyes, reached for the TV remote, and started to rapidly flick through the channels and every microsecond of noisy color that flashed onto the screen irritated the hell out of Gabe.
“Pick a damned channel,” he snapped, but Chase ignored him, continuing to cycle through the channels at the speed of light. Swearing irritably, Gabe vacated the room, seeking solitude.
He settled for the patio and dropped into a lounger beside the lighted pool. For a few minutes he just sat there, listening to the sounds of the night insects and frogs chirping, croaking, and whirring as they went about their business.
Just call her. He repeated Chase’s words to himself. What was the worst she could do? Hang up on him? He winced at the thought. God, he hoped she didn’t hang up on him. He had no Plan B.
He pushed the “Call” button and listened to the phone ring for a few endless moments. It rang for so long he was almost certain it would switch to voice mail, but when her breathless voice answered, he found himself both relieved and panicked.
“Hello?” His mouth had gone dry and he couldn’t quite bring himself to respond to her greeting. He considered hanging up but . . . “Gabe?”
Yeah, Caller ID screwed him over. Of course she knew who it was.
“Hi, Bobbi,” he croaked, ridiculously nervous. “How are you?”
“Fine,” she said after a long silence. “And you?”
“I’m . . .” The fine hovered on his tongue and he opened his mouth to say it. “I’m a jerk. An idiot. A complete dick. And so, so sorry, Bobbi mine. I shouldn’t have been so abrupt with you last night. But . . . I was. And that’s no excuse. I have no excuse. I just hope you’ll forgive me?”
No response.
“Bobbi? Are you there?” he asked nervously.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I’ve missed you,” he told he
r softly, wishing he could see her. It frustrated him, not being able to see her face and read her mood.
“I missed you too, Gabe.” There was another long silence.
“Are you still angry with me?”
“I wasn’t angry with you,” she corrected.
“Will you come around tonight?” he asked.
“I-I don’t think so, Gabe,” she said after another endless pause and Gabe’s entire world started crumbling around him at the rejection. “I’ll be there for the football tomorrow night.”
“Right,” he responded numbly. He’d forgotten about the Friday night game. The guys and their significant others would be descending on his house the following evening. “Football. Of course.”
“I’ll see you then, okay?”
“Okay,” he repeated. He held the phone to his ear for a long time after she’d disconnected the call before dropping his arm. He sat on the lounger, hands clasped between his knees, elbows resting on thighs, and head down as he tried to figure out what to do next.
“Gabe.” Chase’s voice startled him and he looked up to see his brother standing in front of him. Chase sat down on the lounger opposite his. “You okay?”
“Not really,” he responded honestly, and Chase sighed. “You’ll be happy to know she’s not coming around tonight.”
“Seeing you like this doesn’t make me happy, Gabe.” Chase’s voice was almost gentle.
“You were right, you know? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, Chase.” Gabe hated how his voice cracked. “I should never have touched her . . . but she’s just so damned alluring, so completely irresistible with that quirky smile, those lively eyes, and that wicked sense of humor.”
“You do realize that you don’t sound like a man who’s just physically attracted to a woman, right?” Chase pointed out, and Gabe frowned.
“What do you mean?”
“Smile? Eyes? Sense of humor?” Chase repeated. “I was expecting tits, arse, and killer legs.”
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