I planted my hands on my hips and glared down at her. “What the fuck happened?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. It didn’t feel right as it was going on, but then you were gone.”
I bent down, our faces only inches apart. “It didn’t feel right?” I sounded menacing, even to me. “Then why the fuck did you raise your arm?”
Pit crews raised their arm when they were happy. Once all arms were raised, the lights on my steering wheel turned green, signaling I could rejoin the race.
She dropped her gaze to the ground. “I don’t know. I panicked. It was a reflex.”
Incredulous, I stared at her. “You panicked?”
She slowly lifted her chin. “Stop repeating everything I say, Jared. I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry. I messed up. It won’t happen again.”
“Damn straight it won’t happen again,” I said, lost now to my fury. So lost, I forgot Paisley was on the receiving end. “Because you’re off my fucking team.”
“Whoa, take it easy,” Angus said, getting in between us. “I’ll say who’s on your team and who isn’t.”
“It’s okay, Angus,” Paisley said quietly. “Jared has every right to be angry. I cost him the race. I cost the team the race. I don’t deserve to be a part of his, or anyone else’s crew.”
She swallowed, shook her head and, leaving me standing there, turned around and walked away with much more dignity and control than I’d shown.
Fuck.
Paisley
I shouldn’t have walked away like I did, but with disappointment crushing me, I needed a few moments alone. The last thing I wanted was to break down in front of everyone. I knew Jared didn’t mean his words to hurt me as much as they had. If he’d brushed my mistake under the carpet everyone would have been suspicious as to his reasoning. He’d behaved exactly as everyone would expect him to—angrily. I felt his wrath so keenly, and knowing I was the culprit, well, it cut me deep.
Dad never should have included me in his team. I wasn’t ready for the pressure, the constant need to get things right, first time, every time. He should have let me cut my mechanic’s teeth in one of the lower echelons of motor racing. But when I’d talked to him about it during the final year of my degree, he’d refused to budge.
Bet he regretted that decision now.
I headed toward the motorhome but then paused halfway there. That was exactly where Jared would go, and I couldn’t face him. Not yet. Not when it would be just the two of us. But I couldn’t leave the track either. I had responsibilities to the team. After we’d finished here, we had to pack everything up to ship to Canada for the next race in two weeks’ time. The pressures of this sport were never-ending.
I wandered aimlessly ‘backstage’, past all the motorhomes and garages of the other teams. Occasionally, I stopped to catch a bit of the race. Coutinho now led, but Lewis had overtaken Tate to snatch second place. Damn. I’d missed his maneuver. Overtaking at Monaco was nigh on impossible, so it must have been really something. I’d have to catch it later on YouTube.
Eventually, I had no choice but to head back to the garage. The roar from the crowd told me the race had ended. I snuck in the back. The vast majority of the team were on the pit wall celebrating, with the exception of Mark. I hoped the team’s delight meant Lewis had kept his second place or, if a miracle had occurred, a first even.
“You okay?” Mark asked.
I nodded glumly. “Where’s Jared?”
He shrugged. “He spoke to the press then disappeared. You tried the motorhome?”
I shook my head. “I’ll leave him to calm down, I think.”
“It’ll be okay, Paise,” he soothed. “We’ve all been there.”
“Have you?”
Mark was only a few years older than me, but he’d joined Nash Racing as an apprentice straight from school so he’d been around for a good while. He also happened to be super nice.
“Hell, yes,” he said. “In the early days I made lots of mistakes. It’s the way we learn, Paise.”
His kind words allowed me to feel marginally better, and I even mustered a faint smile. “I bet Dad docks my wages for the next twenty years to pay the fine.”
He laughed. “Knowing your dad, yep, I’d say that’s a given.”
I moved in for a hug, tucking my head under his chin and wrapped my arms around his waist. “I deserve that and more. I feel awful.”
Mark rubbed his hand in circles over my back. “You will for a day or so. Then you’ll be too busy preparing for the next race to think about it.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I am. No time to dwell in this game, honey.”
We stood in silence, his warm embrace comforting me at a time I needed it the most. I lost track of how long we cuddled for, but a scuffle at the back of the garage had me turning my head.
Jared.
My heart hurtled to the ground. As I yanked away from Mark, heat rushed to my face even though I had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Mark was a good friend who’d offered me a shoulder to lean on when I’d needed it.
“Hey,” I said tentatively. “I thought you’d left.”
“I need a word.” He turned his attention to Mark, his molten-chocolate eyes dark, angry. “In private.”
Mark looked at me. “You want me to stay?”
I didn’t get to answer because Jared cut in. “No, she fucking doesn’t.”
My answer would have been the same, but even so, I glared at Jared. “She has a tongue of her own, and she knows how to use it.”
“Got that right,” Jared muttered.
More heat flooded my cheeks because I didn’t know whether he meant my occasional rants, or if he’d just hit me with a double entendre.
I patted Mark’s arm. “It’s okay, mate. We’re all good. Go and celebrate with the rest of the team.”
Mark didn’t look too happy, but regardless, he did as I asked. Alone, I faced Jared, steeling myself for another angry outburst. Instead, his face crumpled.
“I’m so sorry, Ley.” He scraped a hand through his still-damp hair. “I was so disappointed about losing, I forgot I was talking to you for a split second. I hated shouting at you. Please forgive me.”
My eyes welled up. I tentatively moved toward him, slow and steady. He held out his arms, and I sprinted across the garage and threw myself at him. I hooked my legs around his hips and kissed him.
He tore away. “Ley. We can’t. Not here.”
He lowered me to the floor, his gaze scanning around the garage in case we’d been rumbled. All good, though, because everyone’s attention was on the podium presentations.
Jared bent his head close to mine. “I’ve got to attend the post-race debrief, do a couple more press interviews, then I’m going to make my excuses and go back to the hotel. I’ll text you when I’m in my room.”
“Presumptuous of you,” I teased, following up with a wink.
He shot another surreptitious glance over my shoulder then brushed his lips ever-so-softly over mine. “You know it.”
And with that, he left.
I headed on over to the motorhome and hung around waiting for Dad to turn up. I owed him, and the rest of the team, an apology for my fuckup. I had a horrible feeling Dad would increase the number of pit stop practice sessions ahead of the next race as a direct result of the mistake I’d made, and all eyes would be on me to see whether the pressure had got to me.
It took a while for Dad to arrive, but when he did, there wasn’t an ounce of blame in his expression, only love and resignation. He held his arms wide, and I snuggled into him, apologies tumbling from my lips.
“I’m so sorry, Dad. What a screwup. I feel awful.”
He tightened his hold. “Try not to worry. In a way it’s good you made such a catastrophic error. Knowing how determined and tenacious you are, it’ll be a long time before you make another.”
“Jared was mad,” I said, covering my tracks in case Dad had any inkling of our f
ast- developing relationship. I still couldn’t be sure of his reaction, and until I figured that out—as well as being sure of Jared’s intentions—I decided it was best to keep my growing feelings to myself.
Dad let me go, chuckling. “I’m not surprised. Angus said he was pretty rough on you, though. I need to have a word with him about that.”
“No, don’t. We made a deal, Dad. No special treatment, and that includes being railed on by angry drivers when I mess things up. I don’t want you saying a single thing to him about this. Let me handle it.”
Pride puffed out his chest. “That’s my girl.”
“Right,” I said gruffly. “I need to help the team pack up for Canada.”
Dad kissed my forehead. “A never-ending merry-go-round. Still sure this career is for you?”
I grinned. “Never been surer.”
I skipped off, lighter now that I’d made my peace with Dad, not to mention Jared. My team wouldn’t hear of my apologies, each of them sharing funny stories of their own mistakes, and by the time we finished prepping for Canada, I’d shaken off feeling sorry for myself and logged the error as a learning experience.
I reached the hotel after nine, exhausted. Dad had texted, asking if I wanted to catch a late supper, which I obviously declined, feigning the onset of a headache. I assured him I’d be fine after a good night’s sleep, in case he got any ideas of checking in on me. I headed for my room and waited for the text I really wanted—Jared’s.
I didn’t have to wait long.
My room or yours?
A swirl of excitement fizzed in my belly. By the time I’d stabbed out a reply confirming I was on my way, my fingers and toes were all tingly, and my heart rate must have been well over one-forty.
My poor heart must be getting used to the adrenaline overload. Since meeting Jared, it regularly beat at too-fast a rate.
The second I knocked on Jared’s door, it opened, and he pulled me inside in case any of the team were wandering the hallways. His mouth crashed down on mine, our tongues tangling, the kiss being used as an apology on both sides. We broke apart, and it was then I spotted a real feast laid out on the floor.
“A carpet picnic,” I said, grinning. “Someone’s been busy ringing room service.”
He gave me an affronted look. “How do you know I didn’t go by the grocery store and arrange all this myself?”
I cocked an eyebrow. “Really? Do I look as if I have ‘gullible idiot’ tattooed on my forehead?”
Jared peered closer, examining me. He brushed my fringe to one side. “Hmm, actually, yes, you do.”
I swatted his hand away. “Dork.”
I found myself in his arms once more; my favorite place to be.
“Which would you prefer to eat first, Pixie Ley? Me or the food?”
I lowered my gaze, stopping at the obvious bulge at his groin. A lick of my lips gave him his answer.
“Good choice.”
* * *
Jared popped another strawberry into my mouth. I swallowed it down with a sip of champagne. I wasn’t a big fan of bubbles in my drinks—and that included sodas—but the combination of strawberries and champers was divine.
Groaning, I lay on my back, my head on Jared’s thigh. He stroked my hair, and I closed my eyes. “Hmm,” I sighed. “That feels good.”
“Tired?” he murmured.
“Exhausted,” I replied. “What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
“I’m not,” he said. “I’m staying on for a couple days.”
My eyes sprang open, and I sat up. “I thought you were going straight to California to see your family, then on to Canada.”
He nodded. “That was the original plan, but I spoke to Jack and I’ll have more time if I go home after the Canadian GP rather than before. I thought I may as well do a little sightseeing around Monaco.” He smiled crookedly. “Wanna be my tour guide? Or did I use up all my credits after Australia?”
I pretended to consider his request. “Oh, go on then,” I said, grinning. “I don’t have any need to go home.”
“Are you sure? I mean, if you want to see your mom or your friends, it’s cool.”
I snuggled back into him, my arm hugging his waist, my head resting on his chest. His heart beat steadily beneath my ear, and a sense of belonging settled over me. Right this second, I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than here with Jared and his warm, solid body pressed tight against my own.
“I’ll see plenty of Mum during the summer months when we’re back in Europe again.”
“Why doesn’t your mom come to the races?” he asked. “Not a fan?”
“She hates flying,” I said. “Even more than me. If you think I freak out on take-off, you should sit next to Mum. She’d break every bone in your hand. Oh, and she screams, too, a lot. If there’s a bump, or a noise she doesn’t recognize, all hell breaks loose. So now, she stays at home most of the year, and Dad tries to get back there as often as he can.” I hitched a shoulder. “They’ve been married twenty-five years. It works for them.
“They must have a very strong bond.”
“Yeah, they do. But sometimes I think it must be lonely for Mum. Especially now that I’m traveling with Dad as well. It’s not the kind of relationship I’d like to have with my husband, that’s for sure.”
His arm tightened around me, and he kissed the top of my head. “You want to get married, Pixie Ley? Settle down in a house with a picket fence and two-point-four kids?”
I pinched my lips to the side. “One day. Maybe. A long time from now, though. I want to live first. To have a great career; tick off some of the things on my bucket list, achieve my potential. Only then will I be ready for the selflessness that comes with being a mummy.” I sat up and sipped my champagne, then risked a glance at him. “What about you?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Me?” He shook his head. “I honestly haven’t thought about it. I’m not averse to the idea of getting married and having kids, but like you, it’ll be some day way off. Right now, racing is the only thing that matters to me, apart from my parents and my siblings.”
He’d said this before, and it shouldn’t hurt, but it did. I deserved to be a part of that list, unless...
“Are we in a relationship, Jared? Or is this”—I swung my hand between us—“just really good sex? Because if it’s the former, I kind of hope I matter to you, too. At least a little.”
His head jerked back, and his posture stiffened. Silent moments passed between us, seconds really, but they felt more like hours. And then he reached for me and tugged me onto his lap and kissed me long and slow. Drawing back, he cupped my face, his thumbs brushing tenderly over my cheeks.
“Of course you mean something to me, Ley. More than I have the words to express. These last months with you… Fuck, you make me feel things… The kind of intense emotions I’ve only ever experienced on the track. So much joy.” He brushed his lips over mine. “I’m sorry if I haven’t made it clear how much I care about you. How much I’ve grown to really like you. I adore the time we spend together, and I’m not only talking about when we’re in bed, but also at times like this. Chatting, sharing good food and wine. Just being, you know? But like I told you a few weeks ago at the very beginning of our relationship.” He emphasized the word which brought a smile to my lips. “Racing will always come first. I have to be selfish if I want to succeed. You know better than most how all-encompassing this sport is. How hard drivers have to work on and off the track. How focused we have to be to stand a chance of winning.”
I nodded. I did understand. I totally got it, hence the reason why Jared was the first driver I’d ever gone near. But something about him called to me, even though I knew that one day I’d probably cry rivers of tears over this man. I forecast nothing but hurt in my future, yet even with that knowledge, I couldn’t stay away.
“I was going to talk to you about this later, but now seems like the perfect time,” he said.
I frowned. “Talk about what?”
<
br /> “I think it’s time we told your dad.”
I bit my lip, denial of his request on the tip of my tongue. He’d been insistent on secrecy from the very beginning. I didn’t want him thinking he had no choice simply because we’d become more than a casual fling.
“I’m going home to California in the mid-summer break, and I want you to come with me. I want you to meet my family, Ley, and my friends. Because you do matter. So goddamn much.”
I gasped, widening my eyes. I touched a trembling hand to my face, my heart racing, my pulse an irregular beat. Those were the very last words I expected to hear, but hell if he hadn’t just made me the happiest woman in the world.
“I’d love to meet your family,” I said, my voice soft, halting. “Oh God, Jared, that’s… That’s…” I dashed away a tear that broke free, then chided myself for being so silly.
“The proviso is that we tell your dad. No more secrets. No more hiding. I admit I was the one who set the rules, who demanded we keep our relationship a secret. Too worried how your dad would react and whether, if he reacted badly, that might have a detrimental effect on my position on the team.” He offered me a crooked smile. “Racing always comes first, see?”
I broke into a smile. “This is why I’m perfect for you,” I joked. “Cos I totally get it.”
Jared’s serious expression had my smile fading. “Y’know, I think you may just be.”
My heart started up at a full throttle beat. I curved my hands around his neck, my fingers playing with the ends of his hair. “Dad will be fine, you know.” I bit my lip because I didn’t know that for sure. “And anyway, he can’t sack you for screwing me. You have a contract, and I’m sure that isn’t part of the terms and conditions.”
Jared threw back his head and laughed. “When we tell him, let’s not use words like ‘screw’ and ‘fuck’. I’d suggest ‘in a relationship’ or ‘seeing each other’.”
I grinned, then hooked my pinky around his. “Deal. Let’s tell him in the morning.”
Friction: Full Velocity Series - Book 1 Page 15