The Answer Is Simple . . .
Other Hay House Titles by Sonia Choquette
Books and Card Decks
The Answer Is Simple Oracle Cards
Ask Your Guides
Ask Your Guides Oracle Cards
Diary of a Psychic
The Intuitive Spark
Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose
Soul Lessons and Soul Purpose Oracle Cards
The Time Has Come . . . to Accept Your Intuitive Gifts
Trust Your Vibes
Trust Your Vibes at Work, and Let Them Work for You
Trust Your Vibes Oracle Cards
Vitamins for the Soul
CD Programs
Attunement to Higher Vibrational Living (4-CD set), with Mark Stanton Welch
Meditations for Receiving Divine Guidance, Support, and Healing (2-CD set)
How to Trust Your Vibes at Work and Let Them Work for You (4-CD set)
Trust Your Vibes (6-CD set)
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Copyright © 2008 by Sonia Choquette
Published and distributed in the United States by: Hay House, Inc.: www.hayhouse.com · Published and distributed in Australia by: Hay House Australia Pty. Ltd.: www.hayhouse.com.au · Published and distributed in the United Kingdom by: Hay House UK, Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.uk · Published and distributed in the Republic of South Africa by: Hay House SA (Pty), Ltd.: www.hayhouse.co.za · Distributed in Canada by: Raincoast: www.raincoast.com · Published in India by: Hay House Publishers India: www.hayhouse.co.in
Editorial supervision: Jill Kramer · Design: Tricia Breidenthal
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic, or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted, or otherwise be copied for public or private use—other than for “fair use” as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews—without prior written permission of the publisher.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Choquette, Sonia.
The answer is simple-- : love yourself, live your spirit! / Sonia Choquette. -- 1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN 978-1-4019-2347-1
ISBN 978-1-4019-1736-4 (hardcover) -- ISBN 978-1-4019-1737-1 (pbk.) 1. Parapsychology. 2. Spiritual life--Miscellanea. I. Title.
BF1031.C515 2008
131--dc
222007051761
Hardcover ISBN: 978-1-4019-1736-4
Tradepaper ISBN: 978-1-4019-1737-1
11 10 09 08 4 3 2 1
1st edition, September 2008
Printed in the United States of America
I would like to dedicate this book to my family—Patrick, Sonia, and Sabrina, who are quite simply my joy.
Contents
Introduction
How to Use This Book
Step 1: Recognize Your Spirit
Step 2: Welcome Your Spirit
Step 3: Know Your Spirit
Step 4: Connect with Your Soul Family
Step 5: Keep the Balance
Interlude: The Heart of the Matter
Step 6: Share Your Gifts
Step 7: Remember What You Love
Step 8: Accept Life’s Lessons with Grace
Step 9: Engage Music
Step 10: Choose Kindness
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Introduction
Ever since I was a child, I’ve worked intimately with others, guiding them through life’s challenges and helping them find the most direct and satisfying path to fulfillment.
I’ve spoken with people around the world—in India, South Africa, Europe, Canada, South America, as well as the United States. I’ve talked with people with advanced academic and professional degrees, with those of the working class, and even with individuals who had no idea where their next meal was coming from.
I’ve spoken with young people, old people, single people, married people, divorced people, and widowed people. I’ve talked with folks who have lived charmed, graceful lives, as well as those who have suffered abominable tragedy. And in all of this, I’ve learned a thing or two myself:
The first thing I’ve learned is that life is school. We’re here to discover how to overcome circumstances and create, with what we’re given, the lives we really want.
I’ve also learned that if we work from ego, intellect, or emotion exclusively, we’ll never successfully achieve our dreams.
Having observed thousands and thousands of people from virtually every walk of life, with every advantage or disadvantage, I can confidently say that the only ones who genuinely succeed, who find peace and joy in their hearts and take great pleasure in their life experiences, have a different way of going about things. Rather than relying solely on their egos—their defended, insecure personalities—and intellectual minds, suffering the assaults life renders them, they turn to a higher aspect of their nature, the Spirit within, and let this direct their lives.
Those who remember that we’re Divine Spirit, and love and live in harmony with their Spirit, are the most successful individuals. People who love themselves and live their Spirit aren’t necessarily subjected to any fewer challenges in life than those who rely solely on their egos and intellect to guide them. Life is life. For all of us, just when we’re comfortable, an entirely new set of challenges or circumstances arises to which we must adapt—and often quickly.
No, loving and living the Spirit within doesn’t prevent you from facing life’s storms. It does, however, greatly assist you in navigating the treacherous waters as painlessly and creatively as possible. And it allows you to enjoy the journey while doing so.
The only problem is, so many of us are disconnected from our Spirit that we don’t even know we have one to love, let alone live. If we’re not aware of this part of us, we can’t nurture it and trust it as the most essential component of our authentic self—our guiding light—so we remain stuck in a vicious cycle of fear and pain and miss out on the joy and creative wonder of living a Divine existence. This isn’t what our Creator intended for us. The One Who made us meant for us to live creative lives filled with joy and inner peace, as Divine and holy beings.
That’s why I wrote this book. I want to help make you aware of your gorgeous and Divine Spirit and teach you how to love and live your Divine nature—starting now. Connecting people to their Spirit is my greatest passion and personal joy, and is something I’ve been committed to doing for the past 35 years. The most exciting part of my mission and message is that learning to love yourself and live your Spirit is actually quite simple once you realize the truth. And the truth is: You are not the ego. You are Divine. You are holy. You are Spirit.
Once you make that connection, loving your inner Divine light and beginning to live your Spirit, everything comes
alive in light and joy. Love and live your Spirit, and your life flows peacefully. Be enslaved to and follow your fearful ego, and it doesn’t. It really is that simple.
The ten simple yet necessary steps to forge that connection and experience your truth, your authentic Spirit, lie within these pages. Because you’re designed to be a joyful, peaceful, magical, and highly empowered holy being, you’ll find that these guidelines bring out your natural best. They may even seem disarmingly simple. Don’t let this deceive you. I share what I know in this book with confidence. These aren’t just metaphysical theories, but are tried-and-true, grounded practices that will lead you directly back to you: the best, holiest, most delightful and delighted you, free of fear and filled with light. I don’t ask that you believe me—I only ask that you give them a try and see for yourself.
And enjoy. . . .
How to Use This Book
I’ve laid this book out in ten simple steps. Each is composed of two parts: The first introduces you to an idea about how to love yourself, and the second describes a practical action you can take to strengthen your love of self and devotion to Spirit.
In the middle of the book, I’ve added an interlude called “The Heart of the Matter.” This section introduces you to the four aspects of the heart of self-love—openness, clarity, wisdom, and courage—and shows you how to deepen your capacity to cherish yourself even more. These lessons will help you balance your heart and recognize which aspects of self-love you’re strong in and which you need to pay more attention to.
You can approach these pages in any way you wish: a step at a time, a week at a time, a concept at a time, or a practice at a time, as your Spirit calls you. This book isn’t laid out in any particular sequence, but simply suggests the necessary elements for freeing yourself from the fear and control of the ego, and connecting with the joy and light of the Divine.
It is my wish in writing this book that you enter into the greatest love affair you’ll ever experience in this life: a love affair with your beautiful, Divine, authentic, holy Spirit. So if you’re ready, so am I.
Let’s begin. . . .
STEP 1
Recognize Your Spirit
Simple Lesson: Recognize Your Spirit
This step introduces you to who you really are: a Divine Spirit and Holy Child of God. It focuses on distinguishing your false self (your ego) from your true, authentic self (your Spirit) and aims to help you accept your holy and sacred nature. This new awareness becomes grounded in the breathing practice following the lesson, which frees you from the ego habit of negative self-judgment and fear and gives you access to the lightness of heart that comes with Spirit.
The very first step toward loving yourself and living your Spirit is recognizing who you really are. So many of us have grown up believing that we’re unacceptable, sinful—even contemptible—beings. We’ve often been told that we’re somehow tainted, broken, and consequently, basically unlovable.
Whatever cultural, religious, or psychological reasons are behind this message, our acceptance of the notion that we’re unworthy comes from our tendency to seek love from the outside. We’ve been led to believe that we’re only our ego or personality, and the one we have is just not good enough. Along the way, we’ve also been told—what feels like a billion times, from a billion different people—that unless we do what others want us to do, we don’t deserve to be loved . . . and won’t be.
In relentless ways, we’ve been indoctrinated to have low self-esteem and to measure our worth and lovability by our capacity to win approval. If we’re good at winning it, we feel loved and lovable. If we aren’t so good at doing so, we feel unloved and unlovable. The trouble is, no one can possibly earn enough approval to feel securely loved for their entire life. Approval is much too fickle for that.
Seeking love through our egos, from the outside in, is a doomed prospect. Because our egos—which aren’t our true selves—can never be loved enough to feel satisfied, and because we can never control what’s outside of us consistently, we’ll never succeed if we seek to love ourselves in this way. Furthermore, having worked so intimately with people for so many years, I venture to suggest that on an intuitive, organic level, we know this system won’t work. Deep down, most of us realize that we can’t find adequate self-love through gaining approval from others. We can only find it by appreciating and valuing ourselves from within, from a place that goes deeper than ego or personality.
The key is recognizing that we’re all Divine Spirit—as beautiful, unique creations of God. The Holy Mother/ Father God breathed life into us all and delights in our existence in every way. It is up to us to do the same.
Self-love starts with knowing that we are Spirit. We have bodies. We have personalities. We have histories, stories, and experiences. But we are not those things—we are Spirit. Our bodies, egos, intellects, and personalities are tools that our Spirit uses to express itself in our physical embodiment. They’re useful. They color and influence our experience. They affect our outlook, behavior, responses, and choices. They make life interesting—but they’re nevertheless only implements for our Spirit to use. They aren’t who we are.
I say “our Spirit” because just as there’s only one fire, there’s only one Spirit. Just as the flames in a fireplace, a lighter, a furnace, a barbeque, and a forest fire are all expressions of one element, we, too, are all unique expressions of a single Spirit.
If that’s true, and the One Divine Holy Spirit gives all of us life, then it leads us to conclude that there are no “others,” no outsiders whose approval we must seek. There’s just us. In other words, there’s no other Spirit, separate from us, judging us. We’re made of the same stuff, evolving and learning at different paces and in different ways, of course, but still the same.
If you look at yourself and at life through the lens of your ego, you’ll feel isolated, ganged up on, alone, different, and not part of the crowd. If you look through the lens of Spirit, knowing we’re all one, you’ll always feel safe, secure, and loved.
Although you may have a less-than-stellar personality, a less-than-sharp intellect, and a less-than-“Hollywood” figure, you’re nevertheless a gorgeous, beautiful, wondrous, miraculous manifestation of Spirit . . . for it is nothing short of a miracle when the Holy Spirit descends into your being with your first breath. The body is formed, but without that breath of life, that spark of Divine consciousness, there’s no you.
You’re Divine. You’re made of light, love, and grace. You’re holy, and your body and personality are the caretakers of this sacred presence. To house this Divinity in your being, in your physical self, is a gift and should be a pleasure. To accept your true nature is a huge, undeniable step toward self-love.
I shared this idea with a client of mine named Patty a few years ago. She was the only child of a tough, withholding single mother. She grew up in perpetual fear of her mom’s disapproval and constant criticism. All of her life she was told, and felt, that she wasn’t worth much. Seeking approval, nevertheless, and fighting off the plague of self-loathing that was projected on her at a young age, she was an exemplary person in every way: She was at the head of her class, a straight-A student, the neighborhood’s best babysitter, the most consistent volunteer and fund-raiser at her church, and a reliable neighbor and good friend to all. Yet she didn’t love herself. She didn’t even like herself. She couldn’t even imagine doing so.
To protect herself from the psychic assaults on her Spirit from her ego, she gained weight slowly over time. By the time she was 50, she was 100 pounds overweight and climbing—both in self-loathing and despair as well as in pounds.
That’s when we met. She attended a workshop I was giving in Chicago (where I live), in which I suggested that she treat her Spirit like a sacred and beloved guest in her heart. That idea captured her imagination.
“Coming from the South,” she said with a giggle, “I always prided myself on being the world’s best hostess. But when it came to hosting my Spirit, I was abom
inable and knew it. It was time to change, if for no other reason than that it was bad manners!”
She accepted the challenge on the spot and embraced her Spirit and began to honor it. She started to create a calm, peaceful atmosphere in her home. She monitored what she said about herself to others so as not to insult her Spirit. She prepared healthful, beautiful, fresh meals and took her time eating them so that her Spirit could enjoy them. She spoke to her Spirit with respect and affection and repeatedly thanked it for being in her heart, asking what she could do to make it feel more at home.
She stopped internally listening to the past negative feedback that had haunted her all her life and began to respect and honor her Spirit’s voice instead.
Slowly things changed. The first thing she noticed was that she was sleeping better; and as she slept better, she ate better—most notably, consuming less sugar just to get through the day. As she ate better, she felt better, so she started to be more active. As she did so, she made new friends and dropped some weight. She also stopped smoking (another unloving act) and got a new job. A year and a half later, she met a new guy and got married—her first marriage at 53.
She’s certain that she married because of her shift in identity. When she lived life beholden to her ego, she’d felt too unlovable to be close to anyone or let anyone get too close her. As soon as she started attending to her Spirit with respect and care, she opened up.
On her third date with the man who’s now her husband, he said, “I just love your Spirit.”
“So do I,” she replied. “Finally, so do I.”
Once you decide to recognize your Spirit, the next step is to live it. To do so is to honor and respect your most authentic Divine self, remembering who you really are and expressing it in the world. To live your Spirit is to rise above the pain and confusion of the human ego and travel through life as the Divine Being you’re designed to be. It’s your true identity—this is your purpose . . . this is the Divine plan. This is the only way.
The Answer Is Simple- Love Yourself, Live Your Spirit! Page 1