Ruined Sinner

by Becker Gray

  “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked.

  I stared up at him. “Hello? I’m settling up?”

  “So you think that if you come here and jerk me off real fast, that will get you back in the black with me?” His lip curled the slightest bit. It was so sinister, so unlike his normal, easygoing, yacht club energy, and I could feel my blood flow divert right to my pussy at the sight of it. “No, sweetheart. You’re going to settle up my way.”

  I tried to regain the upper hand. “You want me to blow you? Fine. I don’t mind.”

  Don’t mind was an understatement, actually, because I was already itching to tear his bottoms off so I could see his cock. And the idea of driving him wild with my tongue…

  Well. I didn’t mind that idea at all.

  He smirked at me, letting go of my wrist to put his hands on my shoulders and push me down. I was expecting to land on my knees with that smirk and the peremptory push down, but instead, my arse hit the bed and then his knees hit the floor.

  He was tall enough that we were still at eye level—not that his eyes were on mine at the moment. He was currently looking at my fuzzy Winnie the Pooh pajama shorts like they were a thong made of lubricant and nothing else.

  “I’ve been thinking of this for days,” he growled, and then he pushed my knees apart and pressed his face to my fuzzy-pajama-covered pussy.

  “Phin!” I exclaimed, my legs trying to close on pure instinct. He let them, but the look on his face when he looked at me was nothing but animal hunger.

  “This is what I want,” he said darkly. “Your cunt, open for my mouth. I want to taste you.”

  His words tumbled through me, lighting things on fire as they went, and I abruptly found I couldn’t breathe again.

  “Only taste?” I said, and the words sounded like they were squeezed out of me.

  His fingers curled around the waistband of my shorts. “No. Not only taste.”

  I didn’t stop him from pulling the shorts farther down, or from working them over my backside and down my thighs until they were off entirely, along with my knickers. Why wasn’t I stopping him? This wasn’t the plan!

  But—but I’d made the plan before I’d known he was going to be shirtless and I was going to see that trail of hair on the hard lower planes of his stomach. Before I’d known that his voice was going to sound like that, that he was going to look at my body like that. And now the plan felt very, very inadequate in the face of this moment.

  “What else do you want to do?” I managed to ask as he parted my legs again.

  And oh, the way he looked at my exposed pussy. Like it was the only thing in the world he wanted.

  “I want to know every part of you—every goddamn part—and then I want to feel you come against my mouth. Do you know how long I’ve waited for that? To feel you come—to hear it, see it, taste it? It’s all I’ve thought about for years. It’s what I imagine at night as I fall asleep, it’s what I wake up dreaming about, right before I come all over my belly without even touching myself.”

  I stared down at him, lips parted, having no idea what to say to that. It was so filthy and somehow even more than filthy too. Like his words were as much the sex as his fingers and mouth would be.

  “So this is how you pay me back,” he said. “I get to taste the pussy you’ve kept from me. I get to make you come. Yes?”

  I should say no. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This wasn’t the plan I’d had in my mind. I was already dangerously attracted to Phin, and then if I let him make me come like I’d fantasized about a million times… How would I be able to resist the undertow then?

  All it took two years ago was a single kiss at someone else’s house for me to fall in love. I worried that an orgasm on his bed might seal my fate for good.

  But no, that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? It was just oral! I’d done that before and more. People did oral all the time!

  And anyway, I wasn’t that starry-eyed sixteen-year-old girl anymore. In the years since that kiss, I’d shed any last vestige of the pretty princess people thought they could walk all over. I’d spent those two years partying, shagging, and taking shit from no one.

  I could take this orgasm without getting attached, obviously. That would be so easy, so laughably easy. I was going to laugh about this earlier indecision later on. I knew I was, because of course Phin could fuck me with his mouth and I wouldn’t care one way or the other. In fact, he was the fool for wanting to settle up in a way that got me off and not him.

  “Yes,” I said. The minute I spoke, he was shoving my legs even wider apart and then his face was against my center as he gave it a long, open-mouthed kiss.

  At the first press of his firm, full lips, I recognized my earlier delusion about not being affected for what it was. And then with the first stroke of his tongue, I realized that I didn’t care.

  Some things were worth the risk.

  “Oh fuck,” I groaned as he began exploring me in earnest. He tongued his way from the very top to the very bottom, his massive hands clamped around my thighs to hold me in place as he feasted on me. “Oh my God, Phin, what the fuck, oh my God…”

  He glanced up from between my legs, his eyes half-lidded and his mouth wet with me. “Everything okay up there, princess?”

  “Obviously,” I breathed, trying to sound like a badass and instead sounding utterly ravished.

  “Good,” he said, and with him looking up like this, I could see down his shirtless chest and stomach to where a giant erection tented his pajama pants. “Because I never want to stop eating your pussy.”

  He didn’t even seem like he was able to stop long enough to look at it. He’d pull back and spread me apart with his thumbs, his eyes hot on the very center of me, and then a ragged groan would tear out of his throat, and he’d be back against me again, licking me and kissing me as if even those few seconds away were pure agony.

  And he didn’t stop at my clit or at my pussy—not at all. He went everywhere, teasing his tongue against my tight, pleated rim until I was chanting his name aloud.

  My nipples had gone as hard as little bullets under my sports bra, and I could feel trembles gathering everywhere in my body—my arms and belly and thighs. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before, the combination of slick kisses and then the delicate way he sucked on my clit. The one other time I’d tried this, the guy had basically done all but hold his nose before he went in, trying to stab his fingers into me like that would make me come faster. I’d kicked him off the premises, so to speak, allowed him to watch as I got myself off, and then I was out of his dorm as fast as I could crawl out the window.

  And then here was Phin, acting like I was some sort of villain for keeping my pussy away from his mouth for so long, already bringing me to a peak and his cock leaving a giant wet spot on his drawstring pants because he was so turned on.

  It turned me on, the way he was so fucking into it, his shoulders hunched between my thighs, his fingertips pressing into my skin to keep me still, his dark head bent over his work. And his mouth—fuck!

  Maybe that’s why our kiss two years ago had knocked me flat on my arse. No one kissed like Phineas Yates, whether it was a kiss on the mouth or…elsewhere.

  “I want my fingers inside you,” Phin breathed against my pussy. “I want to feel inside.”

  “Okay,” I murmured, and then he did it, he slid a long finger inside me, and he did it perfectly, with teases and sweet strokes, until he was all the way sheathed.

  He didn’t stab or rapid-jab or do any of the bullshit guys seem to think people with vaginas want. He filled me, followed the curves of my body, and then gently pressed against a place that had me panting. He worked my pleasure like my body was his canvas and he was the singular artist of our time. And before long, I was rocking against his mouth with my hand sunk into his thick hair, about to give him the orgasm that would make us even. Which meant—wait—who was using whom right now?

  Does it even matter?

  Ph
in growled as I tightened around his finger and squirmed even harder.

  “Give it, princess. You’ve wasted two years of my time, two years when I could have been eating this every night. Give it to me.”

  His perfect lips and velvet tongue returned to my skin, and then with a vicious suck, I was there.

  Pleasure detonated behind my clit, a searing knot of release which rolled outward in shock wave after shock wave. I kept my hand in his hair and held his face hard to my body as I rode out the bliss, panting his name over and over again as my pussy contracted around his finger and tingles peppered my lips and toes and scalp.

  It felt like it took forever, like Phin had invented some kind of mobius strip orgasm that went on and on and on, but eventually it subsided, like waves upon a warm shore. I slumped back onto his bed, a boneless lump.

  Phin had just eaten my pussy like it was his last meal.

  And it was worth the stupid jumps my heart gave as I thought of his expression as he ate me, of his possessive voice and even more possessive hands.

  Phin wiped his mouth with his forearm and stood up, but he didn’t come sit on the bed with me. Instead, he leaned back against his desk, his eyes nearly black in the low light of the room, his erection obscenely visible in his pants.

  It must have been my stupid, jumping heart that made me speak just then. “Come here,” I whispered.

  His fingers curled around the edge of the desk. Hard enough for the knuckles to turn white. But he didn’t move.

  “We’re even for now,” he said roughly. “You can go.”

  “But…”

  “Aurora,” he bit out. “Just go. I can take care of myself. God knows I’ve managed without you before.”

  He meant for the words to drive me away, but they hurt too, an arrow deep into the tender flesh which had just been swoonily beating for him.

  “That’s right,” I said, trying to cover the hurt with acid like I always did. “No one’s missed how well you’ve been managing your needs without me.”

  His eyes glittered, but he said nothing. Nothing at all. Which made me feel like the ridiculous one for being wounded by his wanton lifestyle. For feeling abruptly jealous of all the people he’d learned those mind-blowing oral skills on.

  For feeling suddenly insecure that he didn’t want to finish with me.

  I shoved to my feet and grabbed my shorts and knickers.

  Fuck! No one had ever told me how horrendously embarrassing it was to try to dress with angry but regal dignity! Goddammit!

  I managed to get clothed and shove my feet into the Vans that I’d scribbled over with all my favorite song lyrics, and then I stalked to the window. “Next time you want to settle up,” I hissed, opening the window, “I can save us both some trouble and help you find one of those girls who’ve helped you manage. And then you can settle up with her instead.”

  “Oh, I don’t think so,” Phin said. His voice was soft, but oh-so dangerous, and when I looked back at him, he was running his tongue along his lower lip. Licking me off his lower lip. “You’ll be the one I settle up with; otherwise, you’ll be in the red. And I’d so hate to come collect.”

  My disloyal clit pulsed at his silky threat, but I ignored it.

  “We’ll see,” I said, climbing the ledge to go back outside.

  “If you don’t uphold your end of the bargain, Aurora, then I’m afraid I can’t uphold mine. And I think you need me a lot more than I need you.”

  “Bugger off,” I spat, dropping down onto the soft grass below his window. But when I looked back at him, he was smiling at me.

  He was smiling because he knew that I knew the truth.

  That he was right.

  Chapter Eight

  Aurora

  To be completely honest, I thought I’d gotten away with it.

  I thought I had escaped from capture, that no one would find me out, despite Phin’s aura being stamped all over me. I could still feel him between my thighs. The slight stubble, his sure tongue. The imprint of his dark hungry gaze on me. For the last few days, I’d ducked him…like a reasonable adult. Nevertheless, I swore I could feel him watching me. His gaze following everywhere I went.

  What I also remembered was the sting of how he’d managed for two years without me. Managed. That arsehole.

  On Monday when I returned from history class, I found a man in my bed. Well, a man-like male. Because honestly, I was never going to think of Lennox as a man.

  My twin lifted his head when he saw me. “Ah, there you are.”

  I blinked at him. “What are you doing? This is creepy.”

  He laughed. “Not being creepy. My girlfriend taught me how to pick a lock.”

  I rolled my eyes and tossed my bag onto my desk chair. “I’ll have to remember to thank Sloane for that. So, what gives? What do you want?”

  He sat up and leaned forward, planting elbows on his knees. His gaze searched mine. “Are we going to talk about it?”

  I knew what he wanted. The truth. He could sense it. If he couldn’t, our twin bond was seriously damaged. And considering I could feel whenever he so much as had a fight with Sloane, I suspected he knew. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “Oh, come on, Aurora, don’t bullshit me. I’m your bloody twin. There was something going on with you and Phin at Sera’s party. You strolled in with him, looking all happy and coupled up. Which is strange since—as I recall—you told me if he ever came near you again that you were going to cut off his balls, boil them, and feed them to him. Remember that time you tried to poison him?”

  I threw my hands up and plopped into the love seat I’d shoved in the corner. “You know, everyone talks about that like it was an actual poisoning. It was just a little ipecac. Come on.”

  He shook his head. “That’s it exactly. The girl who does that to the guy who wronged her is not the same girl who then holds his hand and sits in his lap and plays kissy face with him all night. And don’t think I didn’t notice you two didn’t actually make out.”

  I swallowed hard. We hadn’t at the party. But Phin had definitely made out with a certain part of my body right after.

  God. Just thinking about Phin with his head between my legs, the long laps of his tongue, the drawing out of the orgasms making me wild and crazy as I panted his name….

  “You may not understand our relationship, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valid or real. I want this, Lennox.”

  “Something isn’t right here, Aurora. I can feel it. Fuck, something hasn’t been right since New Year’s. Now it’s April, and you’re acting like everything’s okay?”

  “I am okay. It’s over now. I’m safe and sound and I’m thinking of me and what I want.”

  He lifted his gaze, grave concern etched on his furrowed brow. “You have to talk to me. Or talk to someone. Anyone. Even Sera said you’re not talking, to her or to Sloane. I understand that you didn’t want to tell Oma and Mum the whole story, but dammit, Aurora. You can’t just bury what happened or throw yourself into the next best thing.”

  “Is that what you think I’m doing?” I asked. “Throwing myself into something with Phin?”

  “Is that not what you’re doing? Look, I love the guy, he’s one of my best mates, but you always fall into this trap with him. He’s great, and then you find him with his tongue in someone’s mouth, and then he’s not great. I just… You need to be careful, especially after what happened.”

  I curled my hands so that my fingernails bit into my palms. I didn’t want to fight with Lennox, but he had no idea what the fuck he was talking about. He had no idea what it was like living with the memories I had in my mind.

  “And do tell me, baby brother,” I said in a dangerous voice, “what exactly is it that happened?”

  “I’m your twin, not your baby brother.”

  “I’m older by a minute.”

  He scowled. “You’re deflecting, Aurora. You have to talk about what’s going on with you.”

  “If I have to
talk, Lennox, shouldn’t I do that on my own terms, not yours? And, not that it’s your business, but I’ve been in therapy since it happened.”

  He shifted uncomfortably. No one hated being wrong more than Lennox Lincoln-Ward hated being wrong. “Oh,” he said weakly.

  “Yeah. Oh. So all this patronizing ‘you should do this’, ‘you need to do this’ talk? It’s more than unneeded, it’s frankly pissing me off.”

  He opened his mouth to speak. And then sighed. “Look, I’m here because I’m concerned. Phineas? He’s fun, sure. But you need someone who’s going to be…” He squared his shoulders and sat up straighter. “Kind to your heart and your body.”

  I knew what he was doing, looking for some kind of politically correct way to say the thing. The thing we’d been dancing around, the thing I was still afraid to think about. That swell of malevolence hovering in the shadows of my mind, even with months of therapy work.

  He searched my face. “I don’t want to patronize you,” he said quietly. “And I want to respect your autonomy, but you’re voluntarily dating Phineas. You can’t blame me for thinking something’s wrong.”

  “I thought he was one of your best mates?”

  “He is. But you need someone who’s going to be sensitive and caring and take things slow with you, not someone like Phineas. He’s a party boy. And you’re probably a little fragile after… everything.”

  I shuffled to my feet. “I would watch what you say to me, baby brother.”

  He blinked rapidly. His pale blond hair looked shimmery in the light. It was so different from mine now, but the same golden eyes stared back at me. “Something happened to you, something really traumatic. And now you want us all to believe that you’re in a relationship with Phineas Yates, someone you hate. Which makes me wonder about your decision-making capabilities right now.”

  “So you walk in here and you intend to tell me what I should and shouldn’t do with my body? Who I should care about, who I want?”