by Leaona Luxx
“Hey, gorgeous. Care to check me out.” Dax stands by the counter, all smiles. Taking his ticket, I return his smile.
“Sure. How was your visit today?” I ask as I ring up his tab.
“Good. Would be great if you’d add your number on the receipt.” I glance up, but Riley catches my eye behind him. His nostrils flare as his lips press into a fine line, ignoring the other guys around him holding a steady conversation.
Before I can answer, Steve brushes against my back, pressing into me. “No fraternizing, Ava. I’m sure the officer has a job to do.” Steve leans over to check the receipt so he can rub his cock on my ass. I cringe as my smile freezes. Uggghhhh.
“Steve, is it? I asked her.” Dax offers a dismissive glance.
“She’s not allowed to give you anything. Although, Ava is known for that, aren’t you?” Bile rises in my throat as I grit my teeth in what’s becoming my usual response when he’s around.
“HEY! Back off.” Startled, Steve and I both jump, my eyes snapping to Dax. But it’s Riley whose face is flamed with fury and his fists to his side. “I said, back off her,” Riley growls. What the fuck? Steve slowly steps away from me and starts rotating the alcohol shelf while he cautiously watches Riley with a side eye.
“Here ya go,” I say as I reach Dax his change, slightly startled at Riley’s outburst. “Riley, can I have your ticket? Please.” His eyes don’t leave Steve as he hands me the ticket, his jaw ticking and clenched tight.
“It’s all good, Riley.” Dax pats him on the back before walking away.
“Here you go, Riley.” I pass him his change. His hand catches my fingers as his eyes shift to mine and back to Steve.
“Thank you, Ava.” Riley smiles as he releases me from his hold and reluctantly walks over to the exit as his friend steps forward. The look in his eyes is protective.
“Keep the change, you may need it to bail lover boy out.” The fireman chuckles as he hands me his ticket and cash.
“Dax isn’t my lover boy,” I remark as a blush creeps over my cheeks, though Dax was laying it on kind of thick.
“I didn’t mean Dax.” He glances at Riley.
“Oh, no. We grew up together. By the way, I’m Ava.” I smile as I close the register.
“I’m Ford,” he says, offering his hand. “I already knew who you were. Riley talks about you all the time.” He nods his goodbye before joining Riley at the door. Riley raises his head to look over the crowd at me, smiles and is out the door.
Turning to finish my shift prep before I can clock out, I run straight into Steve. “He thinks his shit don’t stink because he’s always around cops. Let me catch him out, I’ll show him,” he seethes at me.
“That’s between you two. I need to finish my work,” I say through gritted teeth as I step around him.
Racing through my duties, I clock out and practically run out the door to dodge Steve. Just as my feet hit the pavement, I hear the door open behind me, but I don’t look back. Picking my pace up, I turn the corner and can’t help but smile. Riley is leaning against my car.
“Hey, Trouble.” His smile is so bright, I can’t help but return it. His eyes dart over my shoulder as I approach him, and I know what he’s looking at.
“Hey, I’m so glad to see you.” I wrap my arms around him, pulling him tight to me. “Sorry. He thinks we should be dating. I just want him to leave me alone,” I breathe in his ear.
His hands press into the small of my back, holding me against him. Riley’s body is hard and muscle bound. Running my hands down his broad shoulders, I drop them over his biceps. Pulling back, I look up into his blue-violet eyes. His face is chiseled, much like his body.
Whoa. I’m suddenly weak in the knees. His hands spread wide across my back, searing heat spreading through me. I involuntarily close my eyes, trying to steady my breathing.
“I’ve got you, you’re safe.” His warm breath washes over me making my nipples pebble. Fuck. I jump, scrambling out of his hold.
“Okay. Thanks,” I mumble as I straighten my shirt, trying to calm my trembling body.
“Ava?” I can’t look at him. I don’t understand what’s going on. Why is my body reacting to him like this?
“I’m good. I, ah, need to get home. Big day tomorrow.” I change the topic as I step around him and open the car door.
“Big day?” he questions as he holds my door open, and I slide into the seat.
“Yeah, I’m going back to school.” My eyes dart to his face finally, hoping he’s not laughing. He’s not. His eyes are wide and smiling as he looks at me. “What? Just say it.”
“I’m proud of you. I know you can do this.” He squats beside my car. Gazing into his eyes, I’m suddenly hyper-aware of his closeness.
My voice comes out higher pitched than normal. “I have to cut my hours here, but it’ll be worth it.” I swallow hard, trying to clear my throat.
“What are you going for?” My stomach flutters as Riley leans in.
“Nursing,” I stutter as I rub my sweaty palm over my seat. “It’s practical nursing.”
“Wow. That’s amazing. I’m happy for you.” Riley lay his hand on mine, gripping it. I secretly admonish myself for not drying that palm. “I believe in you. I know you’ll do great.”
“If I can get through this, I’m considering going back to become a registered nurse.” Bolstered by his words, I beam with pride.
“You should go ahead and do it. I have no doubt you can.” Riley gazes into my eyes, and I’m mesmerized. It’s as if something is keeping me here. Like a magnet. “If you ever need help, let me know. I’d be glad to come over and help.”
“Okay. Sounds great, thank you.” I search his eyes for a clue of what’s happening.
“I better let you go. I’m sure you’re ready to get home.” He squeezes my hand before closing my door.
Dazed, I sit there for a minute, watching as Riley climbs into his truck. He waves as he turns out of the parking lot, and I blow my horn, thinking about how much I’ve missed him. He may be younger than me, but he’s mature for twenty-three. Or is he twenty-four now?
Back at my apartment, I start cleaning as soon as I walk through the door. I’ll have no time this week to do it again, and I don’t want to come home to a dirty house. Unlike my previous homes, I try to keep this one up. I’d love to have a house of my own one day.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for this apartment, but I want more. And until the last couple of months, I had never considered it. Losing Andi and Brannon has opened my eyes; it’s time I stop blaming others for my predicament in life.
Buzz. Buzz. Picking up my phone, my heart races to see the number. “Hey, baby girl.”
“Hey, Momma Ava,” Andi says happily, and I’m almost surprised at the butterflies I feel just hearing my daughter’s voice. God, I miss that sweet girl.
“What are you doing? How are you?” I ask as I sit down, curling up to talk to her.
“I’m good. I helped Daddy and Momma Torrie with the baby’s bed.” Andi lives with her dad, Brannon. He just married the love of his life, Torrie. It broke my heart to let go of my first love, but Torrie is amazing for them both.
“That’s great. How’s your summer going?” My voice cracks and my chest constricts with grief. I’ve wasted so much time.
“Great. We’re going to the beach next week, you wanna come?” Andi’s a happy little girl, making me thankful for her father.
“Well, we’ll have to ask your dad, baby.” There’s a rustling on the phone.
“Hey, Ava,” Brannon says softly. He sounds so apprehensive, a result I caused.
“Hey, Brannon,” I reply.
“We’d love for you to join us. Actually, I think Torrie wants you to have breakfast with them on Tuesday. Maybe some school shopping for Andi after. Can you swing that?” He waits for my answer. Things are still rough between us, and there’s no one to blame but me.
“I can do that, thanks. Tell Torrie to just text me the info.” I
release the breath I was holding.
“I will.” He hesitates. “How are you?”
“Good. Going to get everything for classes tomorrow.” I stumble through my words. “I’m excited, Brannon.” I can’t believe how nervous I am, it’s just Bran. I hate it. I hate how we are now. I don’t want to go back, but I hate this strain between us.
“Good. That’s great to hear,” he says happily. “Do you have enough money or need anything?”
“Torrie took care of everything. I owe her, Bran, for so many things. I’m glad you have her.” My words as quiet as a whisper.
“Thanks, Ava.” He hesitates. “I didn’t agree with all of this at first. She said you deserved a chance, that I agree. You can do this.”
“I know. I’m gonna work hard, I promise.” I try to reassure him, not that he has any reason to believe me.
“Okay. Andi wants to talk some more. See ya soon.” Brannon’s gone before I can say goodbye.
At one time, I thought he’d love me forever. When it became clear he wasn’t going to, I panicked. I tried to trap him by getting pregnant. He gave up everything for us—college, his future, the love of his life—just to come home and take care of me and our baby.
He’s the only thing I’ve known since I was a little girl. My constant. I was selfish, so when Torrie came back into his life, I did my best to make her leave for good. I kidnapped our daughter to hurt Torrie. No matter what’s been thrown at them or in their way, they’ve found each other. Love led them back.
I want that. I want a love that leads me. A love so undeniable that people will know I’m worth it. When I think about never getting it, of always being alone, I do stupid shit. I’ve ruined any chance for a decent man, like Brannon, to want me.
“Hey, Momma Ava. Are you coming with us Tuesday?” Andi asks impatiently.
“I am. I’ll buy you something pretty, although it won’t be a lot.” I bite my lip when tears begin to well in my eyes. “I promise, baby, Momma Ava will make it up to you.”
“It’s okay. I don’t need a lot,” she says softly as if she’s trying not to hurt me. This child!
My voice cracks as I reply, “I love you, Andi pandi.”
“I love you, Momma Ava. And I’m proud of you, too,” she adds before hanging up. Well, if that’s not crushing. I’ve never done a damn thing for my daughter to be proud of me, not even love her.
I finish cleaning and go to bed early. I’m gonna try to be at the college when they open to get everything I need. I also want to buy a few school supplies for Andi. Torrie made sure to take care of everything I need to do this right. When Torrie came to bail me out, she brought me to this apartment.
She had it filled with decent furniture, paid my tuition, gave me an allowance and gave me my car. I couldn’t believe someone would be so nice to me. I thought she had an ulterior motive, had no clue she was just good to the core.
From the minute she told me I deserved a chance, I started to want it. Believe it? No, not yet. Not with creeps like Steve around reminding me of my tainted past. I also don’t help anyone by pulling the shit I did Friday night. Brannon would’ve died had he seen me walking around without a shirt.
Tossing and turning the better part of the night, I get up before dawn and get myself together. I’m gonna run by for some coffee on my way to the campus. Okay. I’m nervous. I wish I had someone to go with me. Head up, I can do this.
Who in the hell would’ve figured that the line at Starbucks would be so long at eight in the morning? Wow. I guess people really do get up early to work. I hope I get a night position, I’d hate to work during the day.
“Hey, gorgeous.” I turn to see Dax standing beside me.
“Hey. How are you?” I grin when he bumps my shoulder.
“Good. What are you doing up so early?” he asks as we step closer to the register. I panic. I can’t tell him, he’ll laugh.
“Errands to run, need to pick up some school supplies for my daughter. You going to work?” My eyes dart over at him to gauge his reaction. He looks surprised.
“You have a daughter?” His eyes widen fractionally, and I turn to him with a smile.
“I do. She’s ten, lives with her dad.” I clear my throat as I scan the room for anything so I don’t have to look at him.
“That’s cool.” My eyes dart to his face, he’s looking up at the menu, so I turn my head in the other direction.
When the barista speaks, I jump from the sudden noise that cuts through the silence. “Name?”
“Ava. I’ll have a Chai Crème Frappuccino.” I rush through the order trying not to look at anyone. Again, I’m surprised when Dax finally speaks.
“Dax. Make mine a Cascara Latte, and she’s with me,” Dax says as he slides a fifty across the counter.
“You don’t have to do that, I can buy my own.” I side eye him, waiting on his answer.
“I got it,” he says, reaching for his change. Again, the silence is deafening as we move down to wait on our drinks. I bite my lip as my eyes dart from him to the window, and he rubs the back of his neck several times.
“Thank you,” I offer, trying to break the tension. “How long is your shift?”
“I’m pulling twelve,” Dax replies as the server slides our drinks to us.
“Well, thank you again,” I assert, holding up my coffee. To my shock, he follows me as I turn to leave.
“I’ll walk you out.” He holds the door as I step through, flashing me a perfect smile.
“Thank you.” I chuckle. “Are you going to make me keep saying ‘thank you’?” I ask, hoping to break the ice that seems to have formed.
“Maybe.” He winks. “But you could have me say it.”
“How’s that?” I cock my brow.
“Dinner?” he offers me with a wry grin.
“I’m not sure. I mean, I work most weekends.” I’m sure dinner isn’t what he wants on the menu.
“We can work with it. Maybe earlier,” he insists. “Unless there’s a reason?”
“No. Just work,” I hedge, knowing I have a list of reasons not to do this.
“Care to give me your number so I can text you. See if we can work something out?” Dax grins as he pulls his phone from his pocket.
“Sure.” He hands me his phone and I add my number, but not before I see it’s loaded with women. Player all the way. “There ya go. I left off the hashtag, booty call.”
“Jokes. I ask a woman out, and she gives me laughs.” We laugh together. “Expect my text,” he says with a wink and a smile. Yeah, player.
“Sure thing.” I return his smile as he gets in his car and drives away.
Checking the time, I get moving to the college. I have a ton of things to do and don’t even know where I’m going. I’m so nervous, I’ll probably wander the campus for an hour before I find where I need to go. Maybe they’ll have maps or guides.
Torrie suggested I bring a backpack to carry my books in and to help keep my hands free to sign papers. I grab it from the back of the Honda Accord Torrie bought for me. It’s silver and three-years-old, but I appreciate it.
Walking onto campus my nerves get the better of me, and I turn back to the parking garage. I can’t do this, why am I even trying? “Ava.” I hear my name, stopping me in my tracks. Spinning to find a friendly face, my heart skips a beat.
“What are you doing here?” My eyes widen as my mouth hangs agape. I can’t believe he would come out here, for me.
“I got to thinking, you may not know the campus layout and could use some help. Do you want me to go?” he questions before biting his lip. I can’t take my eyes off his full bottom lip trapped between his teeth. My stomach drops before twisting in a knot.
“Honestly,” I drag a steady breath in. “I’m so freakin’ happy to see you, Riley.” Throwing my arms around his neck, I hug him tightly. “Thank you.” I breathe a sigh of relief.
Pulling away, we gaze at one another for what feels like an eternity. “You’ve got this,” he assures
me with an eager smile.
“Okay.” It’s all I can think to say. He turns and I follow, walking to campus in step.
“Do you have a list of your books?” Riley asks as we pass a large white rotunda at the entrance.
“I do. I also need to get my student identification and buy scrubs.” I sigh as I hand him my list. “Sorry.” Twisting my mouth in worry as I speak.
“Why are you apologizing? I came to help, so let me.” He smiles at me, and my belly knots as I frown. Riley must notice. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. Just nerves I’m sure,” I reply, shaking off the feeling.
“Student I.D. first, you’ll need it to get your books.” He points me to the largest building up front. “You’ll have to get your scrubs in town. So, did ya get a scholarship or grant to go to school?”
Hesitating, I decide to be honest with him. It’s Riley, he’ll learn the truth from our gang. “Neither.” He frowns. “It’s all a part of the ‘Make Ava a better person’ plan that Torrie put together.” I shrug.
“Come again?” Riley’s frown deepens. Why does he look angry?
“It’s not like that. I told you, Torrie offered, and I accepted. I need to change my life, who I am. Me,” I tell him. He stops dead in his tracks, turning to me.
“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, Ava.” Riley looks offended. “You’re Ava; being any other way would be boring.” He flashes me a quirky grin.
“True.” I giggle. “Still, I do need to get my shit together. I can always have fun.” I wink at him.
“Just don’t let anyone tell you you’re not enough. You are, Ava. And so much more.” I’m a little weirded out by that, no one says those things to me.
“Okay, dude. Lighten up.” I elbow him as I turn and begin to walk again in the direction we were headed.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” he says, rubbing his side. “In here, let’s get your picture taken.” He points to the door on the left.
Standing in line, I scan the room for anyone I may know. No one. Shaking my head ever so slightly doesn’t escape my friend. “What’s up?”