by Presley Hall
But as I look at Sorsir lying between my thighs, peering up at me through long lashes as his mouth drifts downward, my own mouth goes dry. I gasp, desire flooding me. I suddenly want, more than anything, to know what it will feel like to have his face buried between my legs.
I want to experience it, and I want it with him.
He lifts his head and smiles as if he can read my thoughts, then gently pushes my thighs a bit farther apart. I feel his warm breath between my legs, and he reaches up, stroking my core gently, his fingers brushing over my skin. When he presses a little harder, his fingers sinking between my folds with a touch that makes me gasp and my hips buck beneath him, he groans.
“You’re so wet,” he whispers. I flush red with embarrassment a second before I register the sound of desire in his voice—it’s so obvious that there’s no mistaking it for anything but lust.
He likes it, I realize. He likes that he’s turned me on.
And then his lips replace his fingers, warm and soft against me as his tongue flicks out, dragging over my clit in a long, slow lick that makes me arch my back.
“Oh, God!”
The words are barely more than a breathy moan. My fingers dig into the blanket, and I forget how to think.
I forget everything except the pleasure radiating out from the core of me, the feeling of his broad, strong hands on my thighs, holding them apart as I quiver under his touch, and the soft, hot sensation of his tongue sliding along the space between my legs, sending pleasure through me like I’ve never known.
I hear him laugh, of all things, but he’s not laughing at me. It’s a deep, satisfied chuckle that vibrates against my skin, and his hands squeeze my thighs a little tighter as he focuses on the spot that is throbbing, aching to be touched. When his tongue flicks over my clit, I almost scream, my hips bucking upward against his mouth as he swirls his tongue around, up and down, moving it in a pattern that I lose track of.
I’m nearly dizzy from it, the sensations like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
I’ve never felt anything like this with another person. Hell, I’ve never even felt anything like this alone, as I touched myself on lonely nights when I just couldn’t bear it anymore.
Sorsir’s lips fasten over my skin, sucking my clit into his mouth as his fingers stroke the insides of my thighs, and I realize with a dizzying rush that something is going to happen. Every muscle in my body feels as if it’s coiling inside of me, and I realize the second before it hits that this isn’t like any orgasm I’ve ever given myself.
It’s powerful and overwhelming, like nothing I even knew was possible, and he’s not stopping, he’s not…
Oh god. Oh my god.
I don’t know if I think those words or scream them, but my fingers claw into the blanket a second before stunning pleasure hits me. My entire body arches and convulses, my hips bucking up into Sorsir’s face as he traps my legs under his arms. He holds me steady against the bed as he keeps going, lips and tongue never stopping as I writhe under him, breathless and dizzy, feeling for a moment as if I might actually pass out.
It’s as if every bad thing is leaving me, every horrible memory and fear purged as I give in to him, as I let him give me pleasure beyond anything I ever dreamed. I hear myself moaning, almost crying as I arch my back against the last wave of it. Then I collapse against the bed, limp and exhausted.
He’s going to stop, surely. Or he’s going to fuck me now, I think dimly.
But to my surprise, he does no such thing.
He stops for a second, but only to move his mouth away from my most sensitive spots. He gently kisses my inner thighs, his hands smoothing over my hips as he lightly brushes his lips and fingers over me. When he looks up at me again with eyes gone the color of melted gold and smiles wickedly, all I can do is stare down at him.
Then he bends his head, and I realize with a jolt of surprise exactly what he was smiling about.
Oh my god, he’s going to do it again.
15
Sorsir
I’ve never wanted any woman, any achievement, any possession… anything in the galaxy or beyond as much as I want Autumn.
My body is screaming for her, my cock so hard that I’m half afraid it might shatter if I touch it, and I feel as if I might go mad if I don’t find some relief. There’s nothing for me in this moment outside of this room, beyond her, beyond the beautiful naked woman beneath my hands, who just came screaming on my face a moment ago.
I’m drowning in the scent of her, the feel of her, the taste of her on my lips and tongue, and my only thought as she sinks into the bed, exhausted from the force of her climax, is that I want more.
I want to give her more.
This is my chance to show her what this can be, the pleasure that we could have together, the beauty of it—no terror or fear or darkness. I want her to see what it can be like with someone who cares for her, who is bound to her and her alone, who wants to give her pleasure beyond her wildest dreams.
And maybe I already have, I think wryly as I gently kiss her trembling flesh.
Her body still shudders with the aftershocks of her first climax. Autumn responded like a woman who’s never had any man touch her with care before. If I had to guess, that might have been the first time she came under someone’s touch that wasn’t her own. And now, I think as I look up at her with a wicked gleam in my eyes, I’m going to do it again.
She moans helplessly as I slide my tongue over her again, my own body aching as my cock throbs, trapped between my body and the mattress. I imagine how good she would feel around me—the pure pleasure of sliding my aching length into her, inch by inch until I claimed her entirely. The thought of climaxing inside of her sends a painful throb of lust through my groin, and I shudder, a groan spilling from my lips and vibrating against her skin as she squirms against my mouth.
But this moment isn’t about me. It’s about my mate.
I move slowly, not wanting to frighten or startle her. I caress her gently with my tongue, bringing her from her plateau back up again, waiting for her small moans and whimpers to intensify, for her hips to twitch under my hands, her eyes closing as her head goes back, and then I try something new.
I slide my hand up her thigh, gently stroking her as I slide my tongue over her clit, moving it in the small circles that I know now make her gasp and cry out. Then I reach up and part her with my fingers, teasing her for a moment, not quite sliding a finger inside of her until I’m sure she knows what I’m doing.
She gasps at the touch, but she doesn’t pull away. If anything, she thrusts her hips upward, seeking it out. So I press forward, sliding one finger inside of her slowly, ready to stop if she seems afraid or resistant.
My own body shudders with need as I feel her for the first time, wet and hot, her body clenching and fluttering around me as I slowly slide a second in.
As I begin to move inside of her in tandem with the strokes of my tongue, all I can think of is how good she would feel around my cock, how badly I want it to be that inside of her instead of only my fingers, the knowledge of it pushing my desire almost to the breaking point.
Autumn moans and writhes under me, the muscles in her thighs tensing. She’s close to the edge again. I curl my fingers inside of her, moving in long, slow strokes as I lash my tongue over her clit, the scent and feel and taste of her consuming me as I focus on her pleasure, on making her come for a second time.
I want to feel it again.
I want to hear her.
My groan vibrates against her skin, my own hips pressing harder into the bed as I increase my efforts, bringing her closer and closer to the point of no return.
“Oh god, Sorsir!” A ragged cry spills from her lips a second later.
Krax. The sound of my name spilling from her lips as she comes nearly sends me over the edge too without so much as a touch.
I’m on the verge of exploding, desire pounding through my veins as I feel her clench around me. The velvet feel of her fluttering
walls against my fingers drives me mad, and I keep going as she shudders and bucks and writhes beneath me, determined to draw it out as long as possible, to wring every last drop of pleasure from her.
When she collapses back against the mattress again, I finally move out from between her legs, crawling up the bed next to her. I sit up, leaning back against the pillows, and she looks at me with an expression that’s almost startled as I gather her into my arms, holding her against my chest.
My chin rests on top of her head, and I run my fingers through her hair. The sensation of her weight against me is soothing, her delicate body cradled in my arms as I let her relax against me.
I feel her hand touch my bare thigh, sliding upward as she shifts in my arms, and I realize that she’s reaching for my still-hard cock, clearly thinking that she’s expected to reciprocate some of the pleasure I gave her.
Without a second thought, I grab her wrist, despite the fact that my erection throbs painfully at just the thought of her touching me.
“That’s not why I touched you,” I tell her firmly, my voice gravelly with desire. “You don’t have to do that.”
She looks up at me, her eyes wide and nervous, almost sad.
“Do you… not want me?” she asks in a small voice, and I force myself not to laugh, knowing that she’s serious.
It’s hard to imagine wanting anything more, and just the memory of her sweet taste would be enough to make me rock-hard if I weren’t already. But I know she needs a sincere answer.
“Autumn, I ache for you in a way that I’ve never ached for any woman,” I tell her, my gaze fixed on hers. “I want you so much it hurts. But I won’t take you until you’re certain. When you’ve accepted the mate bond between us—if you accept that bond—then I will make you mine. But until then, I will not claim you.”
Everything in me rebels against those words, my body screaming at me that I’m an idiot, that in another moment I could have had her hand on me, some relief from her touch—and if I were willing, everything else as well if I would only take it.
But that’s not my people’s way. And it’s not mine either.
“I will have you willing, completely mine, or not at all,” I tell her softly, and I know as I say it that it’s right. It’s what she needs, and if I’m ever to have her as my mate, it’s the only way.
I crave her more than food or water or air, but I’ll wait as long as I have to before taking things further. It feels almost too much to bear in this moment, my desire for her stronger than anything I’ve ever known, but I will.
Because I would rather have her forever than for only one night, or a few. And besides that, I’m determined to do this right, not to give in to impulse or hot-headed desire.
I want to prove to her, to myself, and to everyone that I’m not only a young, impulsive warrior. I can be a good mate.
I can be what she needs.
16
Autumn
The next week is like nothing I could ever have imagined or expected.
Something changed between Sorsir and me that day—our relationship has fundamentally shifted.
I have never in my life experienced a man who would give pleasure without taking it, and it’s changed not only us but me as well. For the first time, I feel free from the dark memories of my time with the Orkun. The knowledge that it can be different, that kindness and tenderness and true pleasure are still possible, feels like a weight lifted off of my shoulders.
Some of the walls around my heart are crumbling as my trust in Sorsir grows. He’s seen me naked, bare and vulnerable, and he’s only cared for me. He’s treated me with gentleness and given me something selflessly while taking nothing for himself in return.
And he’s done it more than once.
Three more nights since that afternoon, he’s wound up in bed with me—and once on the couch-like thing that’s in the living room. They were all nights when Rose just happened to coincidentally show up and offer to watch Chloe for a few hours. No sooner were we alone than I’d be in Sorsir’s arms, and each night I thought for sure that this would be the one when his iron self-control would break, and he would take me completely.
But he hasn’t.
It’s as if he can somehow see directly into my soul, gleaning truths that I can barely even admit to myself.
He seems to understand intimately that although I want this badly, I’m still afraid. That I need to take it slowly, and that I’m far from ready to commit to this mate bond he’s spoken of.
It’s clear that it’s something serious, something perhaps as deep and long-lasting as a marriage, and the thought of that is impossible. I can’t stay here on this planet with him. I have plans, and I need to get myself and Chloe away. Her safety and her future are more important than my desire, than my wants, than anything else in the world at all.
Sorsir hasn’t let me touch him in any way, beyond kisses and caresses above the waist. Whenever I’ve tried, he’s pushed my hand away. But on each of those nights when we found ourselves alone, he settled himself between my legs and made me come at least twice—one night three times.
I’m beginning to think that if he didn’t have to fight for the Kalixians and I didn’t have Chloe to watch, he’d spend every waking moment of the day between my legs. He seems to love it in a way that I never imagined a man would. I’ve always assumed they thought of it as a chore, the way some women, including myself, usually feel about blowjobs.
Except… I don’t feel that way with Sorsir.
His time spent giving me pleasure has made me wonder more than once what it would be like to do the same to him. To focus all my attentions on him in the way he does to me, to pleasure a man who would treat it as a gift rather than a duty or a demand.
I can’t help but fantasize about him when I’m alone, wondering what it would be like to strip off that loincloth, to see him as fully naked as he’s seen me, to touch him all over with my hands and mouth, to pin him down to the bed and sit astride him, see the expression on his face as I slide onto him and make him mine.
That thought startles me. I’ve allowed myself to enjoy the pleasure he’s giving me, to not feel guilty about it or ashamed of my reaction to him, but the thought of him being mine, or me being his… that’s dangerous.
But I can tell already that his touch is addictive. I’m starting to crave it. To ache for his kisses, his hands on me, the feeling of his mouth.
And I shouldn’t.
I’m risking my heart. Risking getting attached to him. And the idea of that is terrifying. If I continue to let myself fall like this, I might come to care for him so much that it will be painful to leave—to lose him.
I’m not entirely sure it’s not already too late for that.
In addition to my time with Sorsir, I’ve started to get to know the other human women here.
Everyone lives in small pods in the same building, in close proximity to each other, so it’s impossible not to have some contact. I was shy at first—and embarrassed, wondering what they might think of me living with Sorsir—but it’s plain that most of them don’t seem to think anything of it at all.
I have no idea if any of them besides Rose have relationships with the other Kalixian warriors, but Rose herself is sweet and almost maternal, so much so despite her youth that I’ve wondered if she might be pregnant. She has some of the signs that I recognize from my own pregnancy with Chloe, and she seems to have a deep craving for that particular fruit that she gave Chloe as a snack. I know from my own experience that it’s possible for some species of aliens and humans to produce children, but I don’t know Rose well enough to feel comfortable asking.
Still, I’m grateful for the interest she’s taken in Chloe, since it gives me a little time to myself—and time with Sorsir, which I know I shouldn’t be as happy about as I am.
Out of all of the women, Lucy is the one I’ve become closest friends with. She has an outgoing, open personality that’s made it easy for us to get to know each other.
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br /> She stops by often to hang out with me and Chloe, and this morning, she’s asked me to go shopping with her in the market. I happily agreed. I haven’t had a friend in ages, and I’m dying for some fresh air and a female companion who isn’t my toddler.
“So, how is it living with Sorsir?”
Lucy cocks an eyebrow at me as we make our way down the street with two of the Kalixian men trailing us some distance behind for protection. I had no idea that this was a requirement for us going out, but it makes me feel considerably safer.
She winks when she catches my gaze, and I feel myself blush.
“It’s… confusing,” I admit, and she looks at me curiously.
“You do look a bit different lately,” she comments.
I flush harder, but I know she’s right.
Both out of a sense of feeling a little freer on my own and wanting to be more attractive to Sorsir, I ditched the loose tunic and pants I used to wear and borrowed an extra change of clothes from Rose—a long wrap dress that ties with a wide gauze ribbon at the waist and a thin cord at the bust to keep it closed there, giving just a hint of cleavage.
At her insistence, I took home another set of clothing as well. She lent me one of her long pairs of loose pants and a blouse made out of a cotton-type material that wraps around my shoulders and breasts to tie around my ribcage, leaving my stomach bare. I haven’t dressed this way since I was a prisoner of the Orkun and made to dress in the manner that their women did—which offered considerably less coverage than this.
But I hardly thought of that at all as I got dressed this morning in the new clothes for the first time. Instead, I thought of Sorsir, imagining the look on his face when he comes back from training tonight and sees me dressed differently.
“How is it confusing?” Lucy prompts as she buys some fruit from a vendor. “Is he kind? Or is he…” She pauses and turns toward me, tilting her head to one side. “Some of the women mentioned that they heard you used to work in one of the bars, as a dancer.”