by Alice Wilde
I close my gaping mouth and avert my eyes as soon as I realize what I’m doing, but not before Ero notices and winks at me.
“Put your clothes on,” Roan barks angrily as he steps out of the forest fully dressed. “Annalise doesn’t want to see that.”
“What did I say?” Ero says, directing the comment toward me with a shrug as I venture another glance, and I can’t help but think he might be right.
Roan sits down beside me, placing his arm around my shoulders.
“Sorry, lass. I wouldn’t have left you with that idiot if I had any choice, but I didn’t think it would be safe to take you with me.”
“Where did you go?”
“I went back to see things for myself.”
“You went all the way back home?” I ask incredulously.
“Li tried to stop me, but we both agreed it would be better to know what we might be up against.”
“You were supposed to talk to him, not convince him to distrust Ero,” I say, glaring at Li. “I hope you found out something worth all this trouble.”
“We did,” Li says. “Ero was right. Roan’s home doesn’t seem to have been attacked at all.”
“So, what now?”
“We keep moving forward with our plan. There’s no use going back now,” says Li. “The two of you need to clean your wounds. I’ll prepare dinner.”
I don’t know when Li managed to find food, but he pulls a loaf of bread from a bag I hadn’t noticed him carrying previously, as well as a bit of cheese and some dried meat. He quickly divvies each of the items up among us and we sit in silence around the fire as we eat.
“Why aren’t we going back?” I ask as we finish our meal.
Li glances over at me. “If we go back now, we’ll waste even more time than we already have, and there’s no telling how long they’ll try to make us stay. Besides, our agreement with them was to find a way to deal with the Vikings.”
“But if we don’t go back, won’t Roan and I have a harder time getting them to trust us when we return?”
“Perhaps, but I think our best bet at getting them to see us in a positive light again is to make good on our deal.”
I don’t like the idea of leaving Roan’s family thinking we’ve been ungrateful and have deserted them, but I can understand Li’s point. And we can’t afford to waste more time than is necessary.
Ero agrees to take first watch as Li, Roan, and I find comfortable spots to lie down.
“Tired, lass?” Roan whispers in my ear as I curl up with my back against him.
“A bit.”
“I’ll try not to leave you alone like that again.”
“I wasn’t alone.”
“I know, but I should have guessed Ero would try something if I wasn’t around.”
I sit up and turn to face Roan.
“Ero didn’t try to do anything!”
“Oh, so kissing you doesn’t mean anything?” Roan asks, his voice low and hard.
“I…I don’t know what that was.”
I know Ero’s a huge flirt, but I’m not entirely sure why Ero did that. Unless…
“I think he was just trying to get a reaction out of you,” I say, looking down at the ground nervously.
“Why would you say that, lass?”
“While you were gone, Ero mentioned that he thought we were becoming too attached.”
I look up as Roan makes a gesture across the campsite at Ero but not fast enough to see what it was. Roan’s jaw is tight as he turns his attention back to me.
“And what do you think?”
“I think he might be right,” I say quietly. “We’ve barely spent a moment apart, Roan. Not that I want to, but I need Ero’s and Li’s help just as much as I need yours and we can’t afford to be alienating them.”
“So, I’m supposed to just be okay with them kissing you?” Roan growls.
“I didn’t say that, but things were different before.”
“Yes, but we weren’t married before…You weren’t mine,” Roan says as he places a hand gently on my knee.
“Roan, marriage doesn’t make me yours,” I say firmly.
“I didn’t mean it as though I own you,” Roan says quickly, removing his hand from my body. “I just meant…I don’t want to share you.”
“You’ll have to share me, or at least learn to,” I say. “I’m a queen, and my people will always have to be my first priority.”
“I meant with other men.”
The fire crackles as we sit silently for a moment.
“Ero and Li aren’t other men. They are our companions and I expect you to treat them as such,” I say. “We all know what is at stake here, and we can’t afford to tear apart the bonds between us.”
“This isn’t about companionship, lass,” Roan says, his voice tight as he tries to remain calm. “I’m telling you, I don’t like other men touching you.”
“Roan, I swear nothing happened. Ero was just trying to get under your skin.”
“I still don’t like it,” Roan says, placing one of his hands against my cheek. “No, I hate the very idea of anyone else’s hands on your skin.”
“I’m not asking you to like it, or even to like Ero. I’m asking you to accept that these are our current circumstances,” I say, knowing none of this sounds reassuring, especially when I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy Ero’s touch.
“Lass,” Roan says, hesitantly. “You know that I love you, right?”
My mind spins at the confession. The last thing I was expecting was a pronouncement of love, and certainly not right now. I knew Roan cared deeply for me, and I for him, but love? I can’t even remember the last time someone said that to me.
“I hadn’t considered it.”
Roan lets out a sigh and lies back on the grass.
“If you didn’t know, why’d you agree to become my wife?”
“Please believe me when I say I care very much for you,” I say. “Choosing to marry you was easy, but even I know it was rushed and predominantly out of necessity.”
“Is that really what you think?” Roan asks, choosing not to look at me. “You honestly think that I’d marry you simply out of necessity?”
“Isn’t that what we’re trained to do?”
“To hell with that,” Roan says fiercely. “I’d only marry a lass I loved, and if you don’t believe that I love you, I’ll prove it to you.”
“I’m not asking you to prove anything to me,” I say. “I just need you to understand that we need to focus on the task at hand…and we can’t afford to let feelings get in the way of that.”
“If you’re asking me to play nice with Ero—”
“I’m not asking. I’m telling you to.”
I half expect him to shout or storm away, but instead, Roan turns his head to look at me, his emerald eyes twinkling merrily. He shakes his head, a small smile spreading across his face as he reaches out and pulls me down on top of him. He kisses my forehead as he runs his hand gently through my hair.
“You’re a tough mistress, lass. Ero must have really gotten into your head with that kiss.”
“Roan!”
“I’m only teasing! Let me at least enjoy tonight before I’m forced to let you go.”
“Fine,” I say, trying to sound bothered but failing.
“This doesn’t mean I’m okay another man laying a finger on you…”
I’m about to open my mouth to argue with him, but Roan shushes me as he continues to caress me, his fingertips slowly trailing along the exposed skin at the nape of my neck, sending delightful tingles down my spine. I really don’t know why Ero’s words bothered me so much earlier, not when moments like this exist.
“Sleep, lass.”
The last thing I want to do right now is sleep, but I do.
Three
Ero
I don’t honestly know what drove me to kiss her. It was easy enough to hear Roan approaching, and part of me had hoped that the action would throw Roan into a frenzy, which it di
d, but the other part of me just wanted her. I had hoped Roan’s reaction would cause a rift between them, or at the very least that she’d see how dangerous emotions can be.
Odin’s missing eye, they’ve only been married a few days and Roan can barely control himself when it comes to her.
I try to keep my eyes from wandering over to them, but I can’t help it. Roan notices and gives me the middle finger and I reciprocate. I’m not the jealous type, and I don’t believe in love—so why do I feel so irritated and clouded by Roan’s relationship with Annalise? Nothing good comes of loving someone, only hurt and betrayal. Why can’t either of them see that?
Sometimes I think the only sane one left among us is Li, and I don’t know how he has accomplished that since he was the first one to kiss the girl. Did he feel the same thing I did when he kissed her? Or was this what he was talking about when he mentioned feeling a connection to her?
There’s something dangerous about this bond between us. I’ve never felt this spark with anyone else, and it scares me. And somehow, I want more of it.
No. This is madness. This isn’t me. I’m not the kind of man to fall for a woman. To fall for anyone…and that has to include Annalise.
Four
Annalise
“I’m not getting into a barrel again, end of discussion!”
We’d reached the ocean, but instead of trying to find a port town, we’d traveled north along the coastline, searching for a ship that was less likely to be picky about its passengers. We hadn’t found one yet.
“We’ll decide that when the time comes,” Roan says, teasing.
Ero rolls his eyes, and I can’t help but wonder if our moment in the forest ruined whatever friendship there was left between us. Roan has done his best to reign in his feelings for me, even letting Li take responsibility for carrying me.
I am surprised to find that I miss Roan’s affection. Li always does his best to make sure I’m comfortable and taken care of, but aside from the kiss we shared so long ago, Li has treated me more like a treasure to be kept safe instead of a friend. I suppose that explains why Roan doesn’t seem to mind him being so close to me.
“Wait, look over there,” Li says, pointing down to the shoreline. “Does that look like a small ship to any of you?”
We turn our heads in the direction Li is pointing.
“Appears to be,” Ero says.
“What are we waiting for?”
We carefully make our way down from the grassy ledge we’d been traversing and up the beach toward the vessel. As we get closer, we realize it isn’t quite as small of a ship as we thought. Further up the shoreline are several small boats, undoubtedly from the crew of the ship, but the beach is otherwise deserted.
“Is it common for ships this large to anchor in places like this?” I ask.
“No,” Li says. “At least not for reputable reasons.”
“It’s too quiet,” Ero says. “There should at least be noise from a crew if nothing else.”
“You’re right,” Roan says, and I notice him move slightly closer to where I’m standing. “There’s something off about this.”
“Shouldn’t we at least take a look at the boats? There might be a clue,” I say.
“Yes, but we need to tread carefully,” says Li.
We walk slowly up the beach toward the rowboats, checking the ground and surrounding area for any clues as to who has been here before. I notice Ero is focused on the treelined ledge, but none of us see anything. As we approach the boats, I half expect men to leap out of them, but instead, I’m hit with a powerful odor. I cover my mouth and nose with my hand as I try not to retch.
“What is that?” I ask, turning my back to the stench.
Li, Ero, and Roan share a look with each other and then turn to me.
“Stay back a moment, lass.”
I walk back several paces to put some distance between myself and the unpleasant smell as the men walk toward the boats together. They peer into the first rowboat and I can see Ero’s expression harden, then they whisper among themselves. Li gestures toward the other boats and the other two move to check them as well. Curiosity is starting to get the better of me, but I stay where I am. Roan and Ero finish inspecting the remaining boats and return to Li.
“What is it?” I call.
Li says something to Roan, who then turns and heads back toward me.
“Well?”
“They’re full of dead bodies.”
“Dead bodies?”
“Yes, it seems to mostly be those of women and children.”
I stare at him, dumbfounded. It doesn’t make any sense.
“Why…why would there be boats full of dead bodies here?”
“I don’t know, lass. But it may have something to do with the Viking invasions.”
“How do you know it was Vikings?”
“I don’t, but’s not uncommon for Vikings to steal women and children during a raid and transport them to another country for sale,” Roan says slowly. “That ship isn’t Viking, but it may be stolen as well.”
“They sell people?” I ask incredulously.
I’d read about this barbaric behavior, but this was the first time I’d encountered it in real life…aside from Damien’s men and women. I clench my jaw in fury at the thought.
“Why are they dead?”
“It’s hard to say for sure,” Roan replies. “Ero seems to think they may have been preparing to burn the bodies, perhaps from some kind of illness.”
“And what do you think?”
“I don’t think they were killed by any sickness…at least not a physical sickness.”
“Why?”
“There are no men in the boats. No tracks leading to or from them. No sign whatsoever of the perpetrators of this disgusting act,” Roan says through gritted teeth, his fists clenching.
I turn my head at the sound of Li’s and Ero’s footsteps approaching on the damp sand.
“Ero, is this how Vikings behave?” I ask.
Ero looks at me, his pale face even more pallid than normal, but his eyes are hard.
“Yes, some do, and there will likely be worse to come.”
I swallow hard. Nothing about our journey has been easy thus far, but I couldn’t imagine much worse than what we’ve already seen and experienced.
“What are we going to do now?” Roan asks.
“I think we need to clear the bodies from one of the boats,” Ero says. “Burn the rest. At the very least we can honor them in death.”
“How will burning the boats honor them?”
“I can’t be sure of what happened to them…I can’t help but feel like this wasn’t done by real Vikings., A true Viking reserves a burial at sea for only the greatest of warriors. But in this case, whomever these women and children were and whatever they suffered, I think they deserve that honor.”
“It will also kill any diseases that may have settled on them,” Li says.
“Thanks, Li,” Ero says. “I was trying not to mention that.”
“Oh.”
“What about their families?” I say. “Won’t they wonder where they are or what happened to them? How will they ever find out if we burn the evidence?”
“I doubt they have any surviving family members to mourn for them.”
My heart aches for these people. In just a few weeks, I’ve already encountered so much unimaginable cruelty, and just when I think I’ve seen it all, it gets worse. How can a world like this exist when Damien hasn’t even finished unleashing his own dark magic? How could it possibly get worse than this?
“You don’t have to watch, lass,” Roan says, squeezing my shoulder comfortingly.
“No, I want to help,” I say. “If I’m to be queen, I need to be part of it all…good and bad.”
“So you say,” Ero says as he strides back toward the rowboats. “You better prepare yourself.”
“Are you sure?” Li asks.
“Yes.”
Li looks at Roan, who
shrugs.
“You heard my wife, let her help.”
“You’ll probably need this,” Li says, tearing a strip of cloth from the bottom of his shirt.
I want to stop him from ruining his own clothes, but it’s already too late and I accept it graciously, tying it behind my head so it covers my mouth and nose. I breathe in through the cloth and I’m amazed to find that it smells pleasantly of lilac, a scent I hadn’t noticed on Li before. Not that any of them ever smelled bad, even when they were rough from a week’s journey. I’ll have to pay closer attention next time I’m near enough to the other two…and not surrounded by death.
I follow Roan and Li back to the boats where Ero is already inspecting each of them in turn.
“I think the fifth boat down is in the best shape,” Ero says, pointing toward it. “The others will float just as well, but it’s the cleanest.”
I don’t want to know what he means by that, but I soon find out as I slowly approach the nearest boat and peer inside. It takes every ounce of strength to keep myself from being sick and turning away, but I manage to stand firmly in place.
It’s not the first time I’ve seen death, but somehow it manages to be different every time. When I agreed to help, I thought they’d look like they were sleeping, but unfortunately, this isn’t the case.
“You don’t have to do this, lass,” Roan says from the other side of the boat, startling me.
“I…I said I would help. Why do they look like that?”
“They’ve likely been dead at least a few days,” says Li. “A dead body will start to release gasses, which cause them to…change.”
“I don’t think we should touch them,” I say.
“Probably not, but we’ll have to empty at least one of the boats.”
It’s only now that it dawns on me what they mean.
“Are we going to board the ship?”
“That’s the plan,” Ero calls from where he’s already busy clearing the dead from the boat he designated earlier.
“But what if the killers are onboard?” I ask anxiously.