by Alice Wilde
I scoop a small amount of skyr into a bowl and add a handful of berries to it before joining Li in his corner.
“Where’s Roan?” I ask as I spoon a bit of the delicious mixture into my mouth.
“I haven’t seen him since last night,” Li answers. “I thought he’d come to find you at some point.”
“No, not that I know of.”
“Well, don’t worry about it too much. If he hasn’t come to see you yet, it’s probably for good reason.”
“He probably thinks I hate him,” I say worriedly through an unladylike mouthful of breakfast.
“You have good reason to,” Li says. “But he’s probably just resting or cooling down on some walk. He shouldn’t run into much trouble around here.”
I nod slowly in response, trying not to think too much about it as I finish my breakfast and wander off to check the rooms against Li’s advice. Roan is nowhere to be found, and I slowly make my way back to the Great Hall just as everyone seems to be heading outside.
“Is it midday already?” I ask Li as I catch sight of him.
“Close enough,” Li responds. “I honestly have no idea what’s going on besides what I can see with my own eyes.”
“What?”
“I haven’t understood a word anyone’s said.”
I stop in my tracks and Li turns back to look at me.
“What’s so strange about that?” Li asks.
“I can understand them.”
“You can?”
“I thought they were just speaking one of the common tongues.”
“Far from it,” Li says as he contemplates what I’ve just said. “They’re speaking another dialect of the language we heard in the first town we entered.”
“But I couldn’t understand anything they said,” I say in quiet confusion.
“I don’t know what to tell you,” Li says. “Maybe you’ve picked up the language far quicker than normal. Or perhaps you were Scandinavian in a previous life.”
“A previous life?” I say with a laugh before realizing Li is serious. “I don’t think so.”
Li shrugs and we walk the rest of the way to the town center in thoughtful silence.
There are several large chairs set out on the rise, and I’m thankful to see that the pikes have been removed from the grounds below. A rather large group of men has gathered in the open space. Some look as young as me while others could pass for my grandfather. Along the edges of the town center, townspeople look on in anticipation.
Ero takes a seat, and I’m surprised when he looks over his shoulder at Li and myself and motions for us to take the seats to the right of him. Everyone is milling about, waiting to hear what Ero has planned next when he rises from his chair and steps forward to address the men.
“Welcome,” Ero calls over the noise, and the men quiet. “You are all here because you hope to be considered for the position of jarl.”
A cheer rises from the men.
“Before we begin, I will need any man below the age of twenty or above the age of fifty to remove himself.”
There are a few disappointed groans as men fitting these age ranges leave the group, whittling the number of remaining men down significantly.
“Good,” Ero says. “Now, let the games begin.”
Ero claps his hands and several of the men he’s been talking to over the past two days head down into the town center and begin dividing the men into teams.
“This is going to be fun,” Ero says quietly to himself as he returns to his seat to watch the events unfold.
I nearly stand up from my own seat in disbelief and to get a closer look as they start the first competition by handing out mug after mug of beer to each of the contestants.
“How is drinking part of a competition for leadership?” I ask, turning toward Ero, but he only looks at me for a moment before returning his gaze to the events below. I’ll just have to wait and find out for myself, I guess.
Li appears to be rooted in thought, watching but unseeing.
The men continue to drink faster and faster. Barrel after barrel of wine is opened and poured out, and I’m certain there can’t be a sober man standing by now. All of a sudden, a terrifying sound comes from all around us and I jump out of my seat in fear. Ero grabs my arm and pulls me back into my seat.
“Watch.”
Most of the men below scramble at the sound, and I watch as men on horseback ride through the camp in full armor shouting war cries. The chaos is maddening, and I’m sure there will be more than a few injuries to tend to after all is said and done. I’m starting to wonder if the maddest of them all is sitting right beside me when I understand what Ero is doing.
Gazing out over the chaos, I see them. A handful of men aren’t running or trying to save themselves, but are guiding one another to safety, carrying the injured, and shouting instructions at others.
“Enough,” Ero says and a horn sounds a moment later, signaling the men on horseback to leave.
Ero leans over to his left and whispers something to the man sitting next to him, who then stands and walks through the area below, selecting men and bringing them forward. There are only about twenty of them left standing, still drunk in front of us.
Ero stands and walks to the edge of the rise.
“You’ve passed the first text,” Ero says. “Come back here at the first light of dawn for the next one.”
“That’s it?” I ask.
“For today,” Ero says as he heads back up the hill.
I can’t believe this is how he’s going about choosing the next jarl for his people. I’d heard of competitions to win a maiden’s favor or perhaps even to marry a king’s daughter. But this is the first time I’ve ever seen one solely for choosing the next leader of a town.
“I’m going to go for a walk,” I say to Li, who nods absentmindedly.
Walking down the hill, I make my way toward the lake I’d fallen into a few nights ago. Something about walking along the edge of the water sounds peaceful. It doesn’t take long for me to find it, and my heart skips a beat as I see a man sitting on a large rock skipping stones across the surface of the lake. A red-haired giant of a man.
“Roan?”
He turns to look at me, his green eyes bloodshot. But as soon as he sees me, he turns away again. My heart aches with pain. I almost turn back toward the village, but instead, I force myself to approach him, climbing the rock to sit beside him. Roan makes no move to touch me or acknowledge my presence.
“Are you ever going to speak to me again?”
“Of course,” Roan says after a long pause. “But I don’t know how to talk to you now.”
I play with my fingers anxiously.
“I hope you can talk to me the same as you did before,” I say quietly.
“I doubt that will be possible,” Roan says sharply.
“Why?” I ask, even though I don’t really want to know the answer.
“I thought you felt the same way about me as I do about you,” Roan says slowly. “Obviously, I was wrong.”
“Nothing has changed about my feelings for you.”
“Oh, really?” Roan scoffs. “So, I’m just like all other men to you, then?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“Sure, Ero’s just suddenly one of the ones you can’t keep your hands off of. For God’s sake, lass, couldn’t it have at least been Li? I could understand if you’d fallen for him. But Ero?”
“I don’t know how to explain it, Roan. Honestly, I never expected to feel anything for him. It just happened.”
Roan rolls his eyes and looks away.
“I never meant to hurt you, Roan,” I say softly.
“Well, you sure as hell did a good job of it for not trying.”
I’ve never seen him this angry with me, and I don’t know how to handle it or what to say to make things right.
“I’m sorry, Roan,” I murmur, my eyes burning. “I don’t know what else to say.”
“Tell me you don’t
feel anything for him now,” Roan says after a long silence between us. “Tell me it was a momentary lapse of judgment and he just happened to be there. Promise me nothing will ever happen with him again.”
My heart sinks with his words, and I suddenly know why I’m so distraught. As much as I care for Roan, I can’t promise him that when it comes to Ero. I don’t know why, but I need Ero just as much as I need Roan.
“That’s what I thought,” Roan says in response to my silence. “What games are you playing at, wife?”
And with those words ringing in my ears, Roan jumps off the rock and storms away into the forest. I bury my face in my hands, letting the tears flow freely.
Gods help me.
Twenty-Five
Roan
As furious as I am, I am even more angry with myself for continuing to take it out on Annalise. But I can’t help it. If I were completely honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I’ll never stop loving her no matter what she does. Even if it’s doing Ero, of all people.
But that doesn’t mean it’s easy for me to accept, and I certainly am not going to let Ero off easy with this one. If he’s going to be part of Annalise’s life, then he’s going to have to go through me to get to her, and hopefully that never happens again.
The forest is quiet and calm, far from the turmoil I feel inside. I want nothing more than to tear Ero into pieces. But how can I if Annalise has feelings for him? When I saw her face after what I did to him last night, I was afraid she’d never speak to me again.
And what did I do when she came searching for me? I made her feel even worse than she already does and then I ran away like the real man that I am.
I pick up a large branch and slam it against a nearby tree, splintering it into a million pieces. I’ve never been this distraught in my entire life, and it’s terrifying me. As much as I want to wish a thousand poxes on Ero, the thing that scared me most was the thought that Annalise had realized she wanted Ero instead of me. I’m not thrilled about the idea of her wanting both of us, but part of me is relieved that she hasn’t decided that she no longer has any desire for me.
This certainly isn’t how I imagined marriage would be. I see red again at the thought of Ero laying with my wife. The bastard. He could literally have anyone else he wanted, and he had to go after Annalise. He has a child with another woman, for God’s sake.
I take a deep breath in and lean against a tree to try and calm myself when I hear a twig snap behind me and spin around. A young woman steps out from behind several trees and stops a few feet away from me, her eyes wide at the sight of me.
“I’m sorry,” she says, “I hope I didn’t startle you.”
The woman moves closer to me.
“Is everything okay?” she asks. “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but you look like you’ve been crying.”
I turn my head away in embarrassment. “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
I wish she’d leave me in peace, and I nearly jump out of my skin as she lays a hand against my arm.
“It’s okay to show emotion,” she says. “I find it rather attractive in a man.”
Her touch is warm and comforting, and I remain motionless as she squeezes my arm in a way that I think is supposed to be reassuring.
“My name is Erika.”
“Roan,” I say bluntly.
“That’s nice, but it doesn’t sound like a name you’d hear around here.”
I look at her in surprise. “We can understand each other?”
“Why is that so funny?”
“Besides the group I’ve been traveling with, I’ve barely understood a word anyone’s spoken in this country.”
“That might be because I’m not Norse,” Erika says with a chuckle. “I made an educated guess when I saw your red hair and hoped I’d chosen a tongue you’d understand.”
Erika’s accent is thick, but I’m happy to be able to talk to someone.
“Not bad.”
“I’d say I did a better job than just not bad,” Erika says, winking at me as her hand slides down my arm to my hand. “Here, come with me. I’ll show you something that might make you feel better.”
She pulls me further into the forest, and I watch, mesmerized as her thick hair bounces behind her. A few minutes later, we step out of the forest and I find myself standing at the edge of a large pool of water, staring up at a stunning waterfall.
“See,” Erika says. “I told you it would make you feel better.”
“You weren’t wrong,” I say quietly. Something about the sound of the waterfall helps calm me, at least for a moment.
I’m suddenly splashed with water, and I’m knocked back into focus. I look down into the pool of water and see Erika staring back up at me.
“You’ll feel even better after a swim,” she says, splashing me again.
“Hey, stop that!”
“Only if you join me.”
I laugh, pulling off my shirt before I realize what’s happening.
Erika watches me, and I can see the desire in her eyes as her gaze lingers on my bare chest. I hesitate for a moment before putting my shirt back on.
“I’d better not,” I say.
“Oh, come now,” Erika says, her eyes imploring me to join her.
“No, thanks.”
Erika pouts and then rises up from the water, and I realize she’s completely naked. My eyes linger on her for a moment out of shock before I turn away.
“You can look,” she says. “I don’t mind.”
I clear my throat, unable to think of a response. “I think I should go.”
“Don’t,” Erika whispers as she presses her naked body up against me and tears at my shirt.
I stumble backward into a nearby tree, the sudden fall tearing my shirt completely open and bringing her down with me.
She smiles coyly at me and grabs my hand, pressing it against her breast, and my cock twitches in my pants against my will.
“I need to go,” I say through gritted teeth as I pull my hand away from her body.
“Are you sure?” Erika asks as she grabs the bulge in my pants, and I groan involuntarily.
I clench my jaw and lift the woman off of me as hastily as I can without severely injuring her, placing her down roughly beside me before leaping to my feet. I start to say something, but think better of it as I turn and hurry back the way we’d come, back toward Annalise. And then it hits me why I’m so angry with her.
While Annalise seems to have feelings for both Ero and myself, there’s no one else for me but her.
Twenty-Six
Annalise
Roan doesn’t return for several hours after he left me at the edge of the lake. I’d headed back up to the jarl’s house—once I’d finished crying and washed my face in the lake. Finding an empty corner in the Great Hall to sit in, I watched the entrance anxiously, waiting for Roan to come back.
One of the servants crosses the room to light the fire for the night when the doors to the Great Hall swing open and Roan finally enters. He doesn’t see me, and my face falls at the sight of him. His shirt is torn, and not in a way that might suggest he’d brushed up against a tree while running through the forest. I watch as he walks straight through the hall and down the corridor toward our bedrooms.
My mouth has gone dry as I try not to overthink, but I can’t help but wonder if I’ve quite literally pushed him into another woman’s arms. I hadn’t even considered that might happen, but even if I had, did I have any right to be angry with him after what I had done?
Li enters the room and walks over to me.
“Did you see Roan?” Li asks.
“Yes.”
“I wonder what happened to him.”
“Li, you don’t suppose Roan would sleep with another woman, do you?”
Li looks at me in astonishment. “What would ever make you think that?”
“His state of dress just now,” I say quietly.
Li’s brow furrows as he thinks. �
�Now that you mention it, there was something off about it.”
I groan, my heart dropping into the pit of my stomach.
“There could be a number of reasons for it,” Li corrects hastily. “I’ve seen very few men care for a woman the way Roan cares for you.”
I know Li is trying to comfort me, but his words are only making me feel worse.
“Is there a reason why these types of thoughts are on your mind?”
“I’m surprised you haven’t guessed by now,” I say with a sad laugh.
“I have my theories,” Li says, “but it didn’t seem to be any of my business, aside from making sure Ero and Roan don’t kill each other over you.”
“Then you have guessed.”
“It wasn’t very hard to put two and two together,” Li says. “Though I don’t know any details about what happened between the three of you.”
“I think I’ve ruined everything.”
“They’re both still here. I doubt you’ve ruined things as much as you think you have. Besides, if I were to place any bets on who was the one responsible, I’d have to place it on Ero.”
“He’s not as bad as you two seem to think he is,” I say.
“I never said he was,” Li says with a grin. “Though, I don’t know that Roan would say the same.”
I sigh deeply.
“If it makes you feel any better, I can try to find out what happened.”
“No, it’s okay,” I say, even though I wish he would. “I think I should talk to him myself.”
“In that case, are you hungry?”
“Yes,” I say, taking Li’s hand and giving him a small smile as he helps me up.
Returning to my bedroom, I find a bath has been prepared for me in a rather large tub and a fresh set of clothes is laying on the bed. Undressing as quickly as I can, I slip into the hot water and sink into it. I’m just beginning to relax when the door to the room swings open and Roan enters without noticing me.
Something about his unexpected entrance makes me sink lower into the tub instead of letting him know I’m there. Had I gone into the wrong room? I didn’t think so, and then it hit me. Roan and I had been sharing a room before he found out about Ero, and I hadn’t returned to my own room since. I don’t know what drew me back tonight.