“He uses women. He’s not above some creative thinking when it comes to his business. He likes his comforts. You have to go to Allan more often than he comes to you. But, in a pinch, he’ll pull out all the stops. He really will, Eli.”
“I think you should open your eyes,” he said softly.
Lauren moved away, needing to be out of his sphere if she was going to stay sane. Eli could make her see green when the sky was blue. That was something Lauren the woman knew; Lauren the lawyer, the friend, wasn’t ready to sacrifice history for this new muse.
“My eyes are open. We just don’t think alike.”
“That can be a good thing. We can complement each other.”
“Not when it comes to believing Allan could have anything to do with Wilson’s death. I can’t give up years of friendship because you’ve got a gut feeling.”
He was up beside her, his hand clutching hers. “But we do share admiration for Wilson Caufeld. With him gone, are you going to let Lassiter tell you what to do?”
Lauren’s head snapped his way.
“Wilson never told me what to do; he helped me discover what was right to do. You’re not in the same league, Eli.”
“I know that and that’s why you should help me honor him. You learned the real lessons the judge had to teach and now it’s time to use them. You say you want to find out the truth, well here’s your chance. Do what he would have done.”
“I’ll do what I can do,” Lauren said.
“No, you won’t. You’ll ignore what I told you. If it bothers you, you’ll just shove it away the minute Lassiter smiles, or says something about the judge or does any little thing that makes you believe he’s what you want him to be.”
“Eli, it’s as simple as this. I’m not buying what you’re selling, and you can’t shame me into giving your ‘clues’ credence.” Lauren turned to go but he still had hold of her hand and pulled her back.
Lauren twirled into him and, for the first time, she saw what made Eli Warner powerful. Determination, righteousness, a sense of fair play even if it was defined by his senses. She looked right back at him knowing she was just as strong and just as determined.
“I’m selling the chance to be honest because that’s all I truck in. I’m asking you to think about what I’ve said. You’re the lawyer. You look at the evidence. You already know who it isn’t.” He jerked her closer still until there was nowhere to go but through him. “You told me you know it isn’t Henry.”
“And there’s no evidence that it’s Allan. I’m tired.” Eli didn’t care. He tightened his grip.
“So am I, lady. I can’t sleep thinking about this, and I want you to lie awake, too.” He whispered fast and Lauren was mesmerized by the sound of his voice. “Use your brain. Lassiter acts as if Caufeld meant nothing to him. He was making rain at the funeral for God’s sake.” Lauren wiggled, uncomfortable with that observation because she had made it herself. Eli held her tight. “Lassiter was the last person the judge talked with the night I brought up the financial discrepancies. The agents on detail saw an angry Lassiter come out of those chambers and a defeated Caufeld come out hours later. Lassiter told those agents not to bother guarding the judge since he was about to slit his own throat. Those were his words.” Lauren turned into him and put her hand on her chest.
“I don’t want to hear it.”
She was ready to push him away then made the mistake of looking into his eyes. They were hard and bright; the message was intriguing but the messenger irresistible.
“The last call Wilson made the night he died was to Allan Lassiter. Lassiter was pissed at the way Caufeld was handling the Stewarts. Everyone heard him raving. Admit it.”
“Yes. Yes. He was mad.” She could hardly breathe. The apartment was so hot. Lauren shook her head, desperate to keep on track. “So was I. Do you think I pulled the trigger?”
“You weren’t angry like that. You didn’t see dollar signs.”
“Of course not.”
“Pile on a problem from way back. A financial problem that upset the judge to the point of despondency. A problem that would affect someone else with a lot at stake. Emotions start running high. Things were said. Lassiter storms out. You’re friends. The three of you were never apart. Suddenly, you don’t see each other for days. Where was Lassiter?”
Lauren shook her head. “I don’t know. I didn’t see him. I didn’t talk to him.”
“And that didn’t make you wonder?” Eli almost laughed. “Have you asked Lassiter where he was the night Caufeld died? Do you know that? I don’t and I’ve asked. Just ask him that one question and I’ll be satisfied. See if you have the courage to find the answer.”
Eli clutched her shoulders. In her eyes he saw that the line had been crossed. Deep, deep down inside her it didn’t matter anymore what Allan Lassiter did or how much courage she had or even what happened on the street where Wilson Caufeld was killed. This moment was filled with desire that burned right through her skin. Eli touched her cheek, checking for a fever only to find that what was between them wasn’t as simple as sex or lust. There was a need in them both to fill the houses they lived in, big places so vast there were rooms they would never explore, places too lonely to wander around in alone.
“I haven’t wondered...” Lauren whispered her eyes focused on Eli’s lips.
She didn’t want to hear about Allan or Wilson who she missed so badly. Lauren Kingsley didn’t want another word to come out of Eli’s mouth. She just wanted him. He understood. It didn’t matter what he believed about all the rest, he understood her.
As if to prove it, Eli Warner took Lauren in his arms, pushing her gently back against the wall as he kissed her. No frantic tumbling, no groping, just a kiss. This was just the moment and time stood still during the seconds it took them to realize how right this was. After that, it didn’t matter.
Twirling away from the wall, touching, and feeling, holding, and clutching, they were naked without ever really knowing who had loosened the first button, who had first touched bare flesh. The stereo was silent, but music was in their heads. Touches were electric, making connections deep inside. There were sounds but no words, then words without meaning and then glorious silence when they finally fell onto the couch, Lauren atop Eli, his hands at her waist, her breasts pressed against his chest, her lips on his. Eli and Lauren stopped thinking and did what came naturally; they did what they had wanted to do since the first moment they laid eyes on one another.
There were hours between the beginning and the ending and another beginning. Time went by when they didn’t say a word and finally a moment when Eli kissed her hair. Holding handfuls of it tight, he thanked her. He was warm, he said, and Lauren knew he had just told her something important.
In the last minutes of those long hours, though, Lauren knew that they had begun and finished in that time. When she eased herself away from him, gently putting his arm back onto the couch and the coverlet over him, Lauren was alone again. She gathered her clothes, smiling to see how they were entwined with his. In the bathroom Lauren washed her face and, as the morning light tried to punch through the cracked ice window above the tub, she braided her hair. Beyond the bathroom wall a sudden bang startled her, she paused to listen to the raised voices ,but they were silent before she could focus. Putting the last pin in her chignon, she walked into the dark living room and got her purse. This love affair was over because there were people she loved more. Wilson, who had left her with the unspoken charge of being loyal to Allan who still lived, would always color the way she felt about Eli. They couldn’t survive together when Eli made it clear they would stand apart on the issue of Wilson’s death. Lauren closed her eyes and breathed in so that she would remember everything. Then she would be gone.
“You don’t have to go.” She barely smiled, enjoying the sound of his voice before turning to face him. His eyes were open.
“Yes, I do,” she chuckled sadly, “and you know it.”
“Second thoughts? Ha
rd feelings? Ashamed?” Eli rolled on his back and propped himself up. “God, I hope not, Lauren.”
“None of the above. Satisfied. Grateful. Calm. Thank you.”
“Think we might try it in the bedroom next time?” He smiled and she saw his beautiful grin through the dark apartment. He put his hand out to her. She shook her head knowing he probably didn’t see her as clearly. He probably couldn’t see that she smiled.
“I don’t think so.”
He laced his hands behind his head since he couldn’t coax her to the couch. “What do you think?”
“I think that we’re on parallel lines, Eli.” She sighed and picked up her jacket. Lauren gave it a little shake but was unable to look at him. “I’ll never believe what you believe, and you’ll never give up. You’ll dog Allan until something happens that satisfies you. We can’t live like that.”
“You still putting me in the big old FBI pot, huh?”
“Call it baggage,” Lauren said quietly. “I’ve been there, Eli. You are desperate to implicate Allan, and I don’t think you can help yourself.”
Lauren put on her jacket; she found her purse. Eli was up and stepping into his jeans. The zipper grated. He didn’t bother with the snap and the fine line of hair that ran down his belly caught her eye. She looked away for fear of temptation.
“I am desperate to find out what happened to Judge Caufeld, and the only reason I’m even thinking about Allan Lassiter is because something stinks when it comes to him.”
“Tell Mark Jackson,” Lauren said, trying to control that flare of anger that still burned in her gut.
“I have.” His voice rose in frustration only to drop again. He knew to react emotionally would get him nowhere. “I have. He said he’d look into it.”
“Then let him,” Lauren said as though they had resolved the problem with a compromise unacceptable to either.
Eli shook his head. “Mark wants it to be the militia. Not just for Nick’s sake, but because it’s politically correct. He’ll think about Lassiter, but he won’t run with the information and you know it. Please, Lauren, I need your help now that we both know the truth about Henry.”
“Stop pushing, Eli. Can’t you see that what you call truth is nothing more than a calculated narrative? Your conclusion is preordained. You haven’t got anything on Allan; you’ve simply decided there should be something. That’s the way it was with my mother.”
That was the last straw. Frustrated, Eli did a half turn. One hand went to his waist, the other to his hair. He pushed his hair back as if to keep himself in check. He opened his mouth, closed it and finally couldn’t remain silent. Eli Warner faced Lauren Kingsley square.
“Take off your blinders, Lauren. I know all about your mother.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You know what I think? I think no one’s ever had the guts to tell you that she was guilty as sin.”
Lauren’s mouth dropped open. In a split second, Eli saw that she was going to run and in that same second, she saw he was going to try to make her stay. Eli was quicker. He had his hand on her arm. Lauren tried to shimmy away. Eli made her stay. It might be the last chance he had to make her see what was real and what was right.
“You’re despicable and you’re wrong,” she hissed.
“I’ve seen the file. I will get it, and I will show it to you.”
“Like I’d believe anything you showed me or anything an agent wrote down.” With all her strength she pulled her arms down and moved away.
“You want the truth and I’m giving it to you.” Eli circled her, inviting her into the ring. “Marta Kingsley was guilty of peddling her influence the same as the other three judges who were going to be indicted with her. I don’t think she was a bad woman. She was probably caught up in something that she didn’t understand until she was well into it. She might have thought it was politic to do the things she did. I could read it a million ways.”
“Shut up, Eli. Shut up right now.”
Eli shook his head hard; his dukes were up. The truth was hard to take. “Come on, Lauren. You talk about honesty as if you discovered it but you’re not willing to hold the people you love to the standards you set. I’m talking about all of them: your mother, Lassiter and even Wilson Caufeld. I’m not saying they’re evil, I’m saying they aren’t perfect, they weren’t perfect.”
“I can’t believe I’m hearing this.”
Lauren shook her head and turned until she was facing the door. Eli moved in. His hand hovered over her shoulder and he spoke without touching her. Lauren was frozen with horror. He was ruining everything, desecrating memories and making it impossible for her to find comfort with the last person living she cared about. Wouldn’t she always look at Allan and wonder now? Of course, because Eli was packing her head with questions and innuendo and circumstances that could have meant anything.
“Are you going to live the rest of your life thinking you were cared for by perfect people? The fact that you didn’t know about your mother proves they weren’t perfect. Lassiter is a charmer. He razzles and dazzles so I bet you never thought to ask any real questions. Did you ever ask if you thought he was a good person? Wilson let you think what you wanted to think about your mother, and he was right to treat a young girl that way. But you’re a woman now, Lauren. If you want to worship truth and honor trust, then start with yourself. Trust your instincts. Trust me.”
“Never! You’re part of the problem.”
“No, I’m not.” Eli embraced her, trying to pull her into him. When Lauren wouldn’t budge, he moved around her, bending his knees so he could look her in the eyes. “Your mother made a decision and that’s what caused her problems. Innocent intentions or not, she screwed up. Maybe one of her friends asked a favor and then someone else was sent her way and she did another favor. Maybe she worried about putting you through college and needed extra money.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Lauren scoffed and shook off his hands.
“Is it? A single parent on a judge’s salary? A woman alone. No matter what you think about your mother, in the final analysis that’s what she was. In the dead of night, she must have been scared. People make contingency plans. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t. Maybe one of those other judges told her how easy it was to pick up a few extra bucks. Maybe he convinced her she could act within the law. Who did it really hurt after all?”
“What do you know about what she thought?” Lauren’s voice cracked. She put two fingers to her lips as if that would stop her from shaking.
“Okay, do you want another scenario?” Eli was into it now. He was animated and he was ready with a beginning, middle and end. “She was callous and eager to use her authority for gain.”
“How dare you,” Lauren seethed, and he caught her arm before she could run.
“I dare because I can make up any rationalization you want. The fact is, no matter what her intent, she did the deed. I tend to think her intentions were good because she couldn’t be your mother if she wasn’t, at the core, a good person.” He gave her a little shake to underscore his belief in the good things. She wasn’t buying it, but he tried again. “Neither your mother nor Wilson deserved to die, but Wilson didn’t decide to die. You couldn’t do anything about your mother’s suicide; you can do something about Wilson’s death. You owe him something for everything he did for you.”
“I can’t believe I came here, Eli. I can’t believe I thought you would help me work all this out.”
“But isn’t it interesting that you did when you could have gone to see Lassiter.”
That was something to think about. Lauren did so for no more than a second. She looked him straight in the eye and all that she had desired in him was gone.
“Usually I choose better. I suppose I was tired. I suppose I was afraid, and I didn’t want to disappoint Allan by telling him what happened in that garage with Henry. The thing I can’t quite figure out is why you’ve latched onto Allan? Maybe you’re the one who needs to open yo
ur eyes and figure out why you’re so obsessed with him. Are you going to pull yourself up the ladder by pulling him down? Is there some sort of quota you guys have for trashing prominent people?”
Lauren took one step back and one to the side. She should have left but there was more to say. There was always more to say, that was how she made herself feel well and whole and that’s how she ruined herself.
“You might as well give up, Eli. I can alibi Allan the night Wilson died. All you had to do was ask me. I spoke to him at his office that night just about the time Wilson was killed. He was at his office, not gunning down a man he loved so much.”
Eli turned his head. His face looked different, harder and his expression more remote from this angle.
“You may have spoken to Allan Lassiter, but I doubt he was at his office.”
“I called him there.”
“Ever hear of call roll-over, Lauren? Does he have it? Because if he does, he could have been anywhere when you spoke to him.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t watch enough television.” The edge to his comment was cutting and mean. He came closer. She could smell her sex on him, and it was exciting, or was the excitement in how he challenged her? “Call roll-over is great for busy people—or liars. You see, if it was me, you could call me at my office, but I’ve programmed the call to ring poolside where I’m sitting in a hot tub with a few blondes. You’d assume I was sitting in my office.” Eli smiled, ready to let her in on the conclusion. “So if I could be in a hot tub, I’ll bet Lassiter could have been standing over Wilson Caufeld’s body while he was taking your call and telling you how sorry he was that he was late. So, what do you think, Lauren? Did you see him at the funeral? Do you know if he has call roll-over at his office? Did you know that there were two other people in Lassiter’s office that night and neither of them saw him? Lauren?” Eli moved even closer. His fingertips brushed her jacket. Lauren breathed in once. She twisted her head to look at him, her lips parted but he spoke first. “Does he ever talk about Judge Caufeld anymore? Does Allan Lassiter have a gun?”
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