by Janie Crouch
Both he and Finn muttered vile expletives. Both knew what it was like to have broken and bruised ribs. The panicked feeling that you couldn’t get enough breath. The pain that nothing really seemed to ease.
The elevator door opened, and soon they were outside Annie’s door. Zac touched Wavy’s arm.
“Maybe I shouldn’t go in there. Maybe she doesn’t want to see any men right now.” God, the thought ripped him to shreds. But his wants weren’t important.
“No, come in. She wants you. When she was lying out there in that alley, she specifically asked for you. She’ll want you here.”
He closed his eyes, tamping down his fury and helplessness. “Then I’ll be here.”
“I’m going to find Sheriff Nelson,” Finn said, slipping his arm around Wavy again. “I definitely don’t need to be in there, and I can do more good helping him. I’ll keep you posted.”
Zac nodded, leaving them and slipping quietly into Annie’s hospital room. He gave a brief wave to Riley, who was sitting next to the bed, then allowed his gaze to fall on Annie.
Zac had seen things as a Green Beret—death, destruction, agony on both an individual and countrywide level. Sometimes he’d been sent in to stop it, to fight it, and set wrongs to rights. Sometimes—not as often, but the far more difficult times—he’d been forced to stand to the side as a country destroyed itself and its own people. To only step in if asked by a local or national government or given a specific order by his own.
He and the team knew the agony of watching others suffer, and not being able to do anything about it. They had seen things that even now, years later, woke them in a cold sweat.
But none of that even came close to the despondency Zac felt when he saw Annie’s still form lying in the hospital bed. He moved to her side, touching her arm near her elbow, which seemed to be one of the few places not injured.
The side of her face was scraped from where the asshole had ground her into the pavement. One eye was swollen, her cheek bruised—she’d been hit with a fist, at least once.
The area around her mouth was the slightest shade of blue, and bruising was already forming over her lower jaw. Zac’s own jaw tightened. Her attacker had covered it with his hand.
Her arms were covered with red marks that would turn to bruises soon. Some were generic from hitting a wall or the ground. But others were very specifically shaped like a man’s fingers. Her left bicep, her right wrist. Bandages now covered the palms of her hands, no doubt from abrasions there too.
“She’s going to be okay,” Riley told him softly from where she sat on the other side of Anne’s bed. “She’s strong.”
Zac nodded. He knew that was true, but hell if she looked strong lying there.
“She wasn’t raped. Thank God.”
His lips flattened. “Wavy told me. She still looks pretty bad.”
“He slammed her head against a hard surface, the ground or the wall or both, we’re not sure. Minor concussion, a big source of her pain. As well as her ribs.”
“Bastard kicked her.”
She nodded. “But she screamed, banged a rock against the dumpster, and caught Trey’s attention when he went out to empty some trash. Her attacker kicked her before running off.”
“Why is her mouth blue? Hypothermia?” It was May, warm enough that no one was wearing any jackets. But in the rain after the sun had set, Wyoming could be quite cold.
Riley’s eyes narrowed, lips pursing. “He held her face in a puddle. She almost drowned.”
A vein throbbed in his neck. The desire to go after the person who’d done this warred with the need to stay by her side, to protect her.
He could trust that Aiden and Dorian would be gathering whatever intel was available from the scene outside. That bastard had just attacked one of their own. They’d find anything the cops missed.
He eased into the chair on the other side of Annie.
“Was she awake when they got her here?”
“In and out.” Riley leaned back in her chair. She was still dressed in her scrubs. “I was getting off work when someone came running into the ER yelling for a doctor, saying that Trey had found someone hurt down the street. Ironically, we all looked for Anne first. She almost always works late.”
Zac nodded.
“Dude who came in wasn’t sure exactly what had happened. But once we found out it wasn’t a life or death situation—the victim was breathing, there hadn’t been a car accident or anything—a couple EMTs grabbed a gurney and headed out.” Riley ran a hand over her eyes. “If I had known it was Anne... Hell, if I had known it was any woman who had been attacked, I would’ve gone with them.”
“I know. Anne will too.”
Riley shrugged. “At least Wavy was with her. She and Trey were afraid Anne might have had a back or neck injury, so they very wisely got the EMTs. Thankfully, nothing with her spine was affected, and they brought her right in.”
Riley brought both hands up to her face. Obviously, Annie’s state when she arrived hadn’t been pretty. “It was the same guy who raped those other women, wasn’t it?”
Zac shrugged. “Maybe. Probably.” Aiden and Dorian would make sure he knew more soon.
He just continued staring at Annie. Running his fingers along her arm, over the bruises on her wrist and the back of her hand. He didn’t know if she could feel or process it in any way yet, but when she began to wake up, he wanted to know she was safe.
“Dr. Lewis was great,” Riley continued. “He immediately got Anne into one of the private rooms and expressly forbad anyone from entering except me and Susan, the head nurse. She’s older and has an excellent relationship with Anne. Nobody else was allowed in. You know how everyone gets around here with gossip.”
He couldn’t take his eyes off Annie’s face, the bruising, the blue that signaled how close she’d come to dying. “I know she would appreciate that. She has no idea how much people respect her around here. How much people care.”
“Zac.” The word came out a breathy whisper. Annie. He hopped out of his chair, moving closer to her face.
“I’m here, sweetheart. It’s okay.”
She didn’t say anything else.
“She’s done that a couple times. Wavy said she was asking for you in the alley as well, before she lost consciousness.”
He eased into his chair again. “When will she wake up?”
“They’ve already started easing back the barbiturates, so it won’t be very long.”
He would be right here when she did.
Anne came back to consciousness slowly, for a few seconds at a time. She couldn’t remember exactly what had happened, her mind couldn’t focus on anything that specific, but she knew it was bad. She became aware of pain, terrible and throbbing through her whole body, and wanted immediately to go back to the darkness. To stay there forever.
But then she heard Zac’s voice, could feel his fingers trailing a pattern on her arm.
She tried to say his name—maybe even succeeded—but fell into the darkness again. It was warm. Safe. Like a huge, cozy blanket that kept her wrapped inside and everything else at a distance. When she held on to it, she couldn’t feel the pain and didn’t have to remember.
But she couldn’t stay in the dark forever.
She rested, gathered her strength, and listened. She let the friendly, even voices of people who wouldn’t hurt her wash over her.
Eventually, she couldn’t deny that it was time to unwrap herself from her blanket.
The pain came. In her ribs. Her face. Her hands. But she didn’t try to hide from it this time. The memories clawed at her mind too, but she kept those pushed back. One thing at a time. Right now, the physical pain was all she could handle.
“Ouch.”
She wasn’t aware she’d said the word out loud until the friendly voices moved closer, talking to her. Asking questions.
She opened her eyes.
The hospital. The familiar sights and smells swirled around her. And with all the p
ain in her body, being in one made sense.
Zac’s blue eyes, and Riley’s brown, hovered nearby, both faces lit with concern.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Zac crooned. She liked his voice.
She tried to sit up toward him but sucked a breath through her teeth as her whole body lit up in agony. She closed her eyes again.
“Don’t try to move.” The voice this time was Riley’s. “You have a bruised rib.”
Anne nodded her head, which also hurt a little, but it wasn’t agonizing like her midsection. “Okay.”
“Dr. Lewis will be here in a minute to adjust your medication.”
“Am I in the emergency ward?” She couldn’t hear all the sounds that usually went along with her normal workplace.
“No, you were admitted and taken upstairs to a regular room. You’re definitely going to need to stay a couple days, Anne.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
The memories were pressing in closer, demanding her attention. Why was she hurt? An accident? She didn’t want to think about them. She wasn’t ready to let them in. Instead, she went back into the darkness.
The next time it eased back, it was like a rubber band had snapped, thrusting her out into the light, pain, and cold with no way of going back.
And all the memories came with it, whether she was ready for them or not.
Sobbing, she tried to find her way back into the darkness. Her eyes were closed, and she couldn’t see anything, but the peaceful darkness that had blanketed her was gone.
She heard an unfamiliar voice and flinched. She felt warm air near her and remembered the hot, bitter breath of the man who’d attacked her.
She remembered all of it.
Her eyes flew open. Her body jerked.
It wasn’t her attacker near her, it was Zac and Riley. The unfamiliar voice belonged to a doctor she’d seen around the hospital multiple times. But it couldn’t stop her panic.
Her arm flew out in front of her even as the pain made her gasp. “No. No. I— I—”
“Anne, it’s okay,” Riley said. “You’re safe now. Nobody’s going to hurt you.”
The unknown doctor stepped back. Zac did too. She wanted to reach for him, wanted him closer, but she couldn’t get the words out. She just focused on breathing.
“Someone attacked me in the alley,” she finally got out.
Riley nodded. “That’s right. But you fought him off.”
Anne let all the memories flood through her. Terror when she’d first been grabbed and had realized his intent. Recognition that it was the same man who had raped Kimmy and Veronica. Pain when he’d hit her and slammed her against the pavement.
Oh God, the cold and rain on her back as he ripped her scrubs and pulled them away from her, pushing her stomach into the ground, the knowledge she wasn’t going to be able to stop him.
“Annie.” It was Riley, right up in her face. “Look at me, Annie. You fought him off. You bought yourself enough time to get help. You screamed and banged on the dumpster.”
She looked at Riley, then closed her eyes again, trying to get her breathing under control, trying to work past the most terrifying parts of what had happened to the rest.
He hadn’t raped her.
“He didn’t— He didn’t—”
Riley smiled. “That’s right. He didn’t. Focus on that part.”
She breathed as deeply as her agonized ribs would allow as she forced her mind to remember the rest. “Trey a-and Wavy.”
“I’ll come back later,” the doctor said. Riley nodded at him.
“I’ll go too.” Zac’s blue eyes were agonized as he kept his distance from the bed.
“No, please stay,” she whispered. She stretched her fingers toward him. It seemed all she was capable of.
But it was enough. “Sure.” He sat down next to her, his fingers on her arm again, tracing circles. “But Annie, I understand if you want me to leave, okay? I won’t be offended.”
She nodded and closed her eyes. She was safe. No one could hurt her here.
Over the next few hours multiple doctors stopped by, a few, like Dr. Lewis, in an official capacity, and others to extend their well wishes. Although Anne appreciated the gesture, it taught her a lot about how overwhelming a hospital visit could be to a patient. So many faces, even well-intentioned ones, could be difficult.
At some point Zac’s hand had stopped tracing circles on her arm, and his fingers had linked with hers, taking tender care not to hurt the wounds on her palms.
He stayed that way for hours as she answered questions, and nurses poked and prodded her. He stayed next to her holding her hand when Sheriff Nelson came by to ask a few questions of his own.
His face grew stony as she told the sheriff what had happened, including as many details as she remembered.
“He was wearing a mask, so I didn’t see his face. The only thing he said was, ‘I always catch what I hunt.’” She would hear those words in her nightmares for years to come. She gripped Zac’s hand harder. “It was the same guy, wasn’t it?”
The sheriff nodded solemnly. “We’re still determining that, but yes, we need to take it into consideration. I’m so sorry, Anne.”
“It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. He didn’t rape me. And honestly, I thought I was going to drown in two inches of water.”
Sheriff Nelson glanced at Zac before returning his eyes to her. “That’s something we’re looking at closely. If it is the same guy, is he escalating or was he just not aware of how close you came to dying?”
Zac’s fingers tightened on hers.
The sheriff excused himself, promising they would talk later. “Okay,” she whispered.
After that, the visitors ceased, and things quieted down. As in all hospitals, the nurses would be in and out all night, but no more doctors would check on her until the morning. She ought to send both Zac and Riley home. They had to be exhausted.
She was safe here at the hospital. She was surrounded by people, lights, and security.
But fear closed around her throat at the thought of being alone.
She hid it as best she could. She’d taken care of herself for a long time now. She could handle this too. “You guys should go home and get some rest.” She gave them her best smile, although the state of swelling on her face made it awkward. “These pain meds are going to kick in soon, and I’ll be completely out.”
She gripped the sheet, fighting the urge to ask them to stay. It was unreasonable to want them to. Unfair to ask. She’d just have to suck it up.
She attempted a better smile this time.
“I’m staying,” Zac said, looking at her, studying her with those piercing blue eyes.
“You don’t have to. You’ve already been here last night and then all day today. I know you have—”
He leaned closer, so his face was only a few inches from hers. “I’m staying.”
Then his eyes turned tentative, as if he wasn’t sure he should be this close to her.
“Kiss me,” she whispered.
His lips were the gentlest of butterfly wings on hers. Soft. Warm. Comforting. Safe.
Yesterday she would’ve said his kisses made her feel anything but safe. But not this one.
This one made her feel cherished.
“Thank you,” she whispered. He winked at her and she could feel herself blush.
“Okay, kiddo,” Riley stood. “I’ll let Zac stay and come back tomorrow to relieve him or just hang out with you two.” She kissed Anne’s cheek. “You’re so strong. Don’t forget that.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Anne whispered and watched her friend leave. The medicine from the IV was beginning to pull her under again, taking away all the pain, making her sleepy.
Zac pulled his chair a little closer to her bed. “I’ll be here all night. You don’t have to worry about anyone coming up on you unaware.”
Her eyes flew open. “How did you know?”
“You spend enough time in combat duty and you
learn the importance of having someone you can trust watching your back while you sleep. Makes all the difference.”
She wanted to stay awake, to talk to him more about his time in the Army, but heaviness pulled at her eyes again.
“Sleep, sweetheart. We’ve got all the time in the world to talk later.”
As she fell back asleep, she realized his hand was still linked with hers.
Thirty-six hours after arriving in the hospital, Zac was helping Annie check out. They’d wanted her to stay another night, but she’d insisted she knew enough about herself and her injuries to know that wasn’t necessary.
Not to mention, she hadn’t been able to get a minute’s rest because of all the visitors. Her hospital room had resembled some sort of mix between a circus and tropical rainforest with all the balloons and flowers she’d received.
But Zac could tell she liked it, even though it made her uncomfortable. She was so used to being invisible that the focus on her still caught her off guard. If it weren’t for her being a doctor, she wouldn’t have known how to handle attention at all.
She argued with the hospital staff that she didn’t need to be wheeled out. Only when Nurse Lusher arrived, complete with arms crossed over her chest and eyebrow raised, did Annie get into it.
He lifted her gently into his truck, wincing as she did at the pain in her midsection. “Rib injuries are a bitch.”
“Have you had them before?” she asked.
“Yes.” There was no way he was telling her this story. “On a top-secret military mission.” Or because he’d been a young idiot fooling around with Finn.
“Oh. I guess you’d have to kill me if you told me.”
Or just be humiliated. “Something like that.” He closed the door and jogged to his side.
“Thank you for being my chauffeur. Do you think we could go by the grocery store? I need to stock up on a few easy-to-fix items. I’m not sure how mobile I’ll be.”
If she thought she was going home and taking care of herself alone, she was nuts. Not only was he not going to leave her alone and in pain, but until he had a chance to talk to Sheriff Nelson and find out more about this rapist, it just wasn’t happening. There was no chance he was going to leave Annie unprotected. But he had to convince her. Be reasonable. Logical. Use Annie-speak.