by Janie Crouch
They were all gone a few moments later.
“I don’t understand.” She turned in his arms. “Where are they going?”
“The rapist always leaves a little pyramid he makes out of rocks or whatever is around while he waits for the woman he’s hunting. A calling card of sorts. We found one near both Kimmy and Veronica’s crime scenes.”
“But you didn’t at mine?”
“Dorian wasn’t looking in the right place. He thought the rapist would have to watch you leave the hospital and see if you chose the park or the town.”
“But he’d already taken the park out of the equation, so he knew which way I would go.”
Zac nodded. “He waited for you, but not where we thought.”
And it meant this guy had been planning his attack much longer than they’d assumed. Zac tucked her against him again. He didn’t like how any of this was playing out.
“Let’s go to bed. This time I’m not letting you out of my sight.”
Three days later, Anne could finally take a deep breath without wincing. The abrasions on her palms had healed enough that she could open her own medication to take when she needed it, which wasn’t as often. She looked in the mirror now. Her contusions were turning from a deep, fresh purple into a sickly brown. They were healing.
But God, they were ugly.
She’d never be able to look at minor bruising so clinically again. Pain was more than just physical, it also took an emotional toll.
And it seemed like no matter how lucky she told herself she was—especially compared to what Kimmy and Veronica and perhaps multiple other women had been through—she couldn’t seem to put it behind her.
It wasn’t the memory of the pain of her face crashing again cement, or even the fear of drowning in two inches of water that woke her in a cold sweat late at night. It was of the attacker’s hot breath on her cheek, his voice in her ear that haunted her.
It would wrap around her so insidiously, so unexpectedly. In the steam of the shower, or when she opened the dryer door. The heat sent panic bubbling up from her gut to choke her.
I always catch what I hunt.
She heard that voice everywhere. She tried to block it out, to pretend like nothing was wrong, but it was always there inside her mind. It was so damn frustrating. She’d suffered so little compared to the other women, but she couldn’t seem to get over it.
She tried to push it from her mind now as she dried her hands on the towel next to the sink, then joined Zac in the kitchen. Today she’d managed a home-cooked dinner without thinking of that voice once. Until now.
Being at Linear helped. Being around the guys did too. Linear was so much more than a shooting and fighting free-for-all, as she’d once described it. And the guys had just accepted her presence without question.
Finn had winced in sympathy as she’d cradled her ribs after turning too suddenly as she stood in their office yesterday. They’d all been sympathetic.
Aiden and Dorian had taken great delight in telling her about the top-secret event that had led to both Zac’s and Finn’s rib injuries. Yes, they’d been repelling down a wall, but they’d been racing each other.
Aiden described some kamikaze flying leap Zac had taken to try to pass Finn. Their ropes had tangled, and they’d fallen on each other.
All four men were laughing by the time the story was finished, Finn and Zac both swearing it was the other man’s fault. Aiden and Dorian had congratulated themselves on having the good sense not to get involved.
These men were brothers, she realized. In every way but blood. It didn’t have to be said. It was just accepted.
Anne also enjoyed watching them work. They had groups who came in for different types of training. Most were self-defense lessons or firearm safety. They also did a concealed-carry certification class that would allow graduates to apply for their permit.
Three older men came in to work on their target skills one morning. And a kid had a paintball birthday party during an afternoon.
Anne had been fascinated to watch it all. Like the ER, day-to-day action at Linear Tactical was never the same, rarely routine. A lot of it was training, helping people know how to properly use weapons or protect themselves. And most of that was done outside, in the barn, or in the warehouse at the back of the property.
But beyond that, they’d also had a meeting with a couple important-looking people in suits one afternoon in the office’s conference room. She hadn’t been invited to that one.
When she’d brought it up to Zac that night, he’d just told her that he and the guys sometimes did consulting work with organizations who had employees working in dangerous situations outside the US. K and R consulting, Zac had called it.
“What’s K and R?” she’d asked as they’d sat down to dinner.
“Kidnap and ransom. We offer advice on different situations, both domestic and international.” He’d shrugged. “Sometimes outside, unattached people like us can see things people closer to the situation can’t.”
“Are you ever part of the rescue teams?”
“Not often, but sometimes.”
Evidently the guys hadn’t left danger completely behind with their special ops missions.
After lunch, she’d watched as Zac and Aiden had taught a self-defense course to four women: a pair of mothers and their teenage daughters. At first, she’d been up on the swing, but soon the moves the guys were teaching had interested her. She’d walked over so she could watch more closely.
What to do if someone grabbed their wrist. Or from behind. Had them on the ground.
This was the sort of stuff she could’ve used. Zac had mentioned self-defense when they’d looked over Veronica’s crime scene, but neither had acted on it. Her eyes met his from across the mat they’d put out on the grass to teach, and he gave her a nod, obviously thinking the same thing she was.
She wanted to know how to protect herself. There was no one better than Zac and the guys to teach her. She’d watched, trying to memorize as many of the movements as she could even if she couldn’t physically do them right now.
But she needed more than just self-defense moves. She needed her life back. The best way to do that was to get on the horse again. Right now.
She glanced over at Zac, who was obviously enjoying the baked ziti she’d made.
Maybe not a horse, but definitely a ride.
She knew he wanted her; that much had been very obvious when she’d woken up with him pressed against her the past three mornings. He hadn’t acted on it, neither then nor any other time, although she wished he had. She wasn’t afraid of Zac. He would never hurt her. Her brain had no trouble distinguishing between him and her attacker. But Zac had always initiated the lovemaking in their relationship, which was more than fine with her. She liked to feel desired, to watch him pursue her, then lose a little of that infamous Cyclone control once they got close.
Now he was giving her space, which she appreciated. He didn’t want to do anything to scare her.
“I’ve been holding out on you,” he said after taking his last bite of the ziti and groaning. “But after that meal, I realize it’s completely unfair of me to do that.”
“Oh yeah, what about?”
“The best feature of my house.”
She gave him a once-over, eyebrow raised. “I thought I was already intimately familiar with that.”
“Yeah. Nope.” He shook his head, grinning. “You’re probably going to be pretty mad about this.” He led her back through his bedroom to the bathroom. She’d already seen this, of course, but he pulled up the blinds on the back window, then slid it all the way open.
“Something wrong with your door?” she asked.
“No doors leading to this. I keep meaning to change this out to one but haven’t gotten around to it yet.” He took her hand and helped her through the window. A couple days ago she wouldn’t have been able to make it through with her sore ribs.
It led to a secret back screened-in porch. Comple
te with a small hot tub.
It wasn’t as big as a regular tub. It was really just meant for one person, like an oversized bathtub.
“It’s connected to the water flowing to the house, so I can fill it up with fresh water and no chlorine is necessary, but it has heaters and jets, so you can stay in as long as you want. Reinforcing the barn to be able to hold it was a huge pain in the ass when I built this place four years ago, but I love it.”
She stared at the tub, then at him. “This is amazing.”
“Enjoy. You’re the only one besides me to ever use it.” He gave her a half smile. “Actually, that’s not true.”
Yeah, she couldn’t imagine Mia not pouncing on this. “Let me guess, Mia?”
She had to laugh at his scrunched-up face. “No, I never brought Mia here. No women at all, except you.” He grabbed a piece of her hair and slid it through his fingers. “Ethan used to love to play in it all the time when he was younger. When Finn first got custody of him, that little guy wasn’t in great shape. But he loved the water. Even though it was the middle of winter, he would play in that tub for hours.”
“Well, I would love to play in your tub too.” She took a step closer, gathering her courage, wanting to ask if they could both fit.
But before she could get the words out, he gave her a friendly smile, scooped an arm around her shoulder, and led her back into the bathroom. “Here’s a towel. I’ll go clean up the dishes. You enjoy the tub for as long as your heart desires. Keep the door cracked so I can hear if you need me.”
He was gone without another word.
Anne took her time removing her clothes, using the bathroom, pinning up her hair as best she could. She looked over her face and ribs once again in the mirror. Decidedly not sexy.
But she wasn’t going to wait any longer. She could do this. She wasn’t going to let her would-be rapist retain any more power over her.
Wrapping herself in a towel, she called out for Zac. He was in the bathroom just a few seconds later.
“Hey,” she said.
“Everything okay?” He had a dishtowel over his shoulder. “Problem with the tub?”
“Um. Well, I was wondering if you thought it could hold both of us?”
He took the towel off his shoulder and began folding it in perfect squares. “I do, in fact, think we both could fit.” His eyes caught and held hers.
She didn’t know if she was ready. She didn’t know if she would freak out if Zac touched her in a sexual manner, and she didn’t want to ruin what was between them, but she so very much wanted to move forward.
She could do this. Just start it, then Zac would take over. All she had to do was drop the towel.
She looked down, shifting her weight, then looked back up at him, her fingers evidently incapable of loosening their grip on the cloth. “I had a big seduction planned. Call you back, get naked, invite you into the bath for hot and heavy sex. But I can’t seem to let go of the towel.”
He took a step closer and hooked his hand where she held the cloth. “Although every single one of those elements sound like the makings of a great plan, you know there’s no hurry.”
“I know, but...” She had no idea how to explain this.
“It just sounds a little bit less like you want sex and more as if you want to prove to yourself that you’re capable of muscling through it.”
She sighed. “Maybe a little. But I do want to have sex with you. Despite the massive bruising, which has to be a turn off.”
He pulled her a little closer with his hold on the towel. “Those just prove you were strong enough to fight. To survive.”
Her head tilted forward until it rested against his chin. “I don’t feel strong. I feel like I might never be again.”
“You are, and you’ll get stronger every day. And you’ll take it one day at a time. One minute at a time if you have to.”
His hands eased their way up to her shoulders and just held her, turning his head slightly so her forehead was against his cheek. They stood that way for long minutes.
“I want to have sex with you,” she whispered. “I don’t want to let him win.”
He put his hands on her cheeks, easing her gaze up to his. “And we will. And you won’t let him. But right now, we’ll just get in the tub. Okay?”
She nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”
“We’ve got all the time in the world.”
Holding Annie’s naked form against him in the tub was more than Zac thought he would ever get again, and definitely much more than he deserved.
“I don’t know how you ever get out of this.” She sighed, her back resting up against his chest, her long legs tangling with his. The heater and jets were both on, and they were up to their shoulders in lovely warm water—and in the strawberry bubble bath she’d dumped in generously, courtesy of Ethan’s last tub visit.
“Yeah, I don’t get in here as often as I should. I would’ve shown it to you last week, but I was really enjoying showing you the second-best part of my house.”
“I love tubs. Always have.”
“Actually, I remember that. Or how Becky never understood it.” He laughed at the memory. “She always said baths were just lying around in your own germs and dirt.”
“She wasn’t wrong, you know. Showers are much more sanitary.” He swallowed a groan as she snuggled down further into the water, her hips wiggling against him as she did. “But not nearly as luxurious.”
This—Annie in his arms, driving him crazy—was exactly how he’d envisioned using this little hot tub when he’d gone through all the trouble of hooking the water to the house and reinforcing the deck to hold the weight. Maybe not Annie herself, but... actually, hell yes, maybe Annie was who his subconscious had been thinking of the whole time.
Regardless, he was glad it was here for her now. And he planned to use it with her every chance he had. Sex, no sex, he didn’t care. He just wanted to be here with her.
He rubbed his fingers up and down her arms under the bubbles.
“I think I always liked them because my parents never bothered me in the bath. If they saw me with a book just sitting around the living room, they couldn’t quite grasp it. But lying around in a tub...that was acceptable. I didn’t care. I loved it. Loved to relax.”
“Becky said you always studied in the tub. She didn’t know how you didn’t drown.”
She laughed. “All through med school too. I always had a chair with books sitting against the tub. I’ve always had a tub except...”
“When?” he prompted when she didn’t continue. The jets shut down, leaving it quiet between them, but they didn’t turn them back on.
“Baths aren’t as popular in Florida as they are here. Too hot. And after I separated from my ex-husband, my place didn’t have a tub at all. Just a shower stall.”
“Why did you guys split up?”
She blew out a stream of air onto the bubbles. “You know how some men go through a midlife crisis and trade their wife in for a newer, shinier model?”
“Yeah. They’re generally known as assholes.”
“Well, Darren realized much earlier that he wanted someone shiner and fancier than me. He wants to go into hospital administration—that has a lot of politics involved. I may be a damn fine doctor, but I’m not much when it comes to social graces. You know that.”
“Like you said, you’re a damn fine doctor. I’ve seen you in critical situations, keeping a cool head, doing what needs to be done. I’ll take that over a social butterfly any day.”
She shrugged one shoulder up and rubbed her cheek against it. “I know I stutter when I get nervous. I know a lot of that is psychological. Darren thought it was something I could get over with enough work. And when I tried, I did get much better.”
Those brief sentences told Zac a lot, that she had tried to conquer her speech impediment for her husband. That he’d pressured her to do so. That it hadn’t been enough.
“Anyway, he found Christina, a pediatric nurse. Blonde, b
ubbly, and witty. The perfect person to have by your side if you’re trying to wine and dine a hospital board or pharmacy rep. He decided she was a better fit.”
“I hope you cleaned him out during the divorce.”
“Neither of us had any money. We were buried under student loans, his higher than mine because of the lifestyle he tried to live while in school. We’d been making big payments on his to try to get out from under it. But during the divorce, the judge decided that we should both just take our own debt.”
“So, you’d paid a bunch of his and then still had all yours.”
She shrugged. “I’m not great with conflict. I should’ve gotten a better lawyer. Besides, that wasn’t nearly as bad as working with them after the divorce. Not that Darren was mean or anything, it was just that everybody knew we’d been married, that he’d tossed me aside. His bubbly little wife got pregnant like two months after they got married.”
He wanted to kiss her and tell her how ridiculous her jackass of an ex-husband was.
“The worst part? I never really loved him. I knew that from the beginning. I never should have married him. I had pretty much sworn off men when I moved to Florida. But he admired how focused I was, how professional. So, he kept asking me out, and I gave in. Same thing about marrying him. I just gave in.”
“Why did you swear off men?” He already knew the answer and hated himself for it. But he had to hear it from her.
“Zac, it doesn’t matter.”
“You mean after what happened with us. I hurt you enough that you left the only home you’d ever known and jumped into the arms of an asshole because he showed you attention. Annie, what happened that night...”
She grabbed his knees. “What happened that night happened. We don’t have to let it choke us anymore.”
He wrapped his arms around her chest, crossing them so his hands cupped her shoulders, molding her to him. “I’ll never talk about it again if you don’t want me to, but I want to make sure you know one thing. The things I said that night—”
“You were drunk. I know you weren’t trying to be cruel.”