We both laughed, mine riding the line of a dramatic scoff. “No, Linc. We don’t know each other.”
“Really?” Meekai came closer behind me, I could feel the vibration of his footsteps on my heels right before he cut around to get in front. He walked backwards with his hands in his pockets and curiosity in his eyes. He might’ve looked nonchalant in his actions, but his face told a different story. He looked like he was loaded with questions I didn’t want to answer.
“We don’t know one another, huh? You’re not going to inform my best friend, Linc, that I’m taking you out for pizza this Friday? Because I’m pretty sure me looking at you right now constitutes me taking you out for pizza. Pineapple, to be exact.”
I threw my head back in disbelief and quickened my pace. “I have no idea what you’re referring to,” I lied. “This Friday night I’ll be milking Clarence, the neighbor's cow. Not eating pizza with you.”
“Well, Clarence is going to be sorely disappointed, because you are,” he countered.
As soon as he’d said it, confusion washed his smirk away. “Hang on, you’re milking a cow called Clarence? Clarence is a boy's name. I’m not sure what you think you’ll be pulling on, but Clarence isn’t gonna be giving you milk.”
Linc surged into laughter as Meekai looked at me amused, completely impressed with himself. I tried to ignore him and dodge my way around his towering body, but he rounded me up like a cowboy and set himself back in front.
“Well, maybe you should come with me,” I challenged. “It would seem you're well acquainted with masturbating bulls into submission.” I made the international gesture for masturbation with my fist. He gave me the gesture for not giving two fucks and smirked.
He stopped and turned, pulling up alongside me. Him on my right, Linc on my left. With the looks I was getting from the female student body, I guessed it was where they wanted to be.
“As tempting as masturbating a bull into submission sounds, that can wait until next weekend. You have an unwritten promise to uphold and I'll be busy this Friday, with you.”
I laughed, the humor lost somewhere within his cockiness. “You can't think for a second I’d stand by that. I don't even know you; it was sarcasm. This isn't gonna happen.” I motioned between us.
“Oh, on the contrary. I told you that goodbye would be a second chance. I also told your negative ass that I’d believe enough for the both of us. You think this happens every day? I'll find out where you live one way or another. That's the thing about small towns, information is freely given. Thank the Lord for big mouths and loose lips, Radley, because I'll be at your place at six this Friday night.” He shrugged his shoulders and reached out to move my hair gently behind my ear as we walked. “There she is.”
There was something that sparked across his lips and reflected in his doe eyes as he fixed my hair. He touched me, and I liked it. I swatted his hand away, angry at the confusion I felt, and reeling from his touch. He winked and I frowned as he walked away without a word, leaving me with a dropped jaw and a chuckling Linc.
I yelled at his back. “That would be a hard no! I’m not going out with you!” He just waved behind him and disappeared into the sea of students.
Linc finally reined it in and suppressed his laughter as we came to a stop.
“Your first class is here.” He pointed to a wooden door with a glass window and the shade pulled down. “You’ve got Contemporary Literature with Mr. Hennessy. He’s rarely late and won’t let you into class if you’re not on time. Once the door’s closed and the blind is shut, you might as well turn back, take yourself to the principal's office and face the wrath of Mrs. Singleton. She’s hard but fair.” He smiled. “We've got five minutes. I better show you to your locker so you can set yourself up.” He directed his shoulder to the left signaling for me to follow, a row of blue lockers lined the hallway. “You’re locker seven-eleven . . . and I’m two lockers down it seems.” We walked the few feet to our lockers and pulled up in front of locker seven-eleven.
We were silent for a few long seconds as Linc fidgeted. He looked from his feet to me and removed my backpack from his shoulder, handing it over. I had no idea what was going on in his head, but I had to break the silence.
“Is something wrong, Linc?”
His lips curved up in a bashful grin. “I know Kai already demanded your presence this Friday, but I’d be stupid if I didn’t ask . . . did you want to have a coffee after school sometime this week?”
A blush crept up my face. I could feel it. I wasn’t used to what seemed like genuine attention, and it left my heart erratic, wondering what in the name of the twilight zone was going on? Was Meekai friends with Hardy? He said he wasn’t, but this was absolutely crazy. Was I being set up?
I left a school that went out of its way to exclude, torture and dehumanize me, and here I was, not even eight a.m. on my first day, and I had two offers to go out with two of the most beautiful boys I’d ever seen. Sure one was demanding and the other polite and sweet, but I couldn’t do this. This had to be a setup, and I refused to bite.
“I can’t.” There, short and sweet. But something nagged at me; curiosity always was my downfall. “Isn’t Meekai your best friend?” I asked. “Why would you turn around and ask me out five minutes after your BFF? Won’t he be pissed?”
He clasped both hands behind his neck and let out a sigh. “Kai is like my brother; I respect the fuck outta him. He’s loyal . . . to his friends. Girls? Not so much. I gotta say though, I’ve never seen him break that much of a sweat asking out a girl.” He clicked his tongue and let out a curious hum. “Actually, he’s never asked a girl out.” Another drawn-out hum. “Wow.” He shook his head in what I could only interpret as curious.
“In saying that,” he continued, “He doesn’t lay claim, and I’d like to take you out for a coffee, except I’m asking. You deserve to be asked, not dragged kicking. He’s not the serious type. He treats the girls he’s with like a pit stop.”
I was a little thrown that he’d call Meekai loyal and then turn around and throw him under the bus.
“Well, no one lays claim. I’m my own person,” I stated firmly. I don’t know why, but I felt a little gutted at his statement. He’s not the serious type. Why did that bother me so much?
I suppose there was this insecure girl deep down inside who felt flattered that Meekai pushed so hard. It was like he cared enough to fight, and fuck if he’d take no for an answer. Call it ego, call it a lack of attention or plain stupidity, but I liked it.
But my disappointment slowly turned to anger and flared up my chest. He treats the girls he’s with like a pit stop. Linc was probably right, and I couldn’t risk my dignity again. At least Linc showed me respect, and what he said was true; he asked, Meekai demanded and ignored me when I told him no.
My own words started to rattle around in my head. All preconceived notions are welcomed, but this time I choose which ones to let in or kick the fuck out!
Day one of sixty-six, here we go. Time to add some color to the canvas, colors I paint with my own hand. Trust someone until you can’t.
I turned to Linc and looked into his baby blues. He really was gorgeous, and even though he’d just sold out his best friend, I could tell he was kind. My radar for fucktardery was gunning at one hundred. If Meekai was really everything that Linc said he was, then meeting up for coffee with Linc wouldn’t be a problem.
I wanted this year to be different. No one knew me here; I’d been here half an hour and I could already feel that this year was going to be just like Gamma said this morning. I have a feeling that your life is going to change in ways you never saw comin.’
I supposed if I wanted to see change, I’d have to be willing to participate. So, this was me participating.
“Coffee sounds nice.” A genuine smile covered my face and butterflies stirred.
His smile, it was crazy beautiful, blinding enough that I’d almost missed his pointed finger aimed at my t-shirt. “I think you know who you ar
e, Radley.”
I looked down at my tee that read I don’t know who I am, and laughed to myself. I really did use my slogan tees like a magic eight ball.
I’d been screen-printing my own slogan tees with collected thoughts, feelings, and outright sarcasm for a couple of years. They never had the shirts I wanted in stores, so I begged Mama and Dad for the screen-printing equipment for my fifteenth birthday.
“I don’t know who I am?” he repeated in a low voice. “You’re Radley, and I’d really like to spend some time with you after football practice on Wednesday.”
“And I already agreed,” I smiled. “Should I meet you after practice?”
I had no idea how this dating thing went; I had never even kissed a boy. He didn’t take that from me. I still had a first kiss, and I was keeping that air locked and in-check. No one was taking my first kiss, it was all I had left to give. I almost gave it away once, and I thank God every day that I didn’t.
Wyatt’s friend Stone had lured me in last year when I was visiting Gamma in Georgia, but something wasn’t quite right about him. I’d ignored it. I thought I was in love with him. The attention he gave me was heady, addictive. I’d been ostracized for so long that I’d almost foolishly given it away just to prove to myself that someone wanted me; that I was worthy.
Wyatt had found us barely a breath apart and tore him off me, but I was already halfway there. My hands set firmly against Stone’s chest, decision already made. Even then I knew a kiss was too sacred to give to just anyone.
“Sure, we can meet afterwards. I should be finished about five but you could always come watch if you like.”
His nerves were showing and I kind of liked it. He wasn’t cocky. His uncertainty made me feel secure, it showed vulnerability. I could use some honest vulnerability.
“Perfect, I’m sure we’ll have homework, so I’ll go study in the library once I find out where it is.” I laughed. “I’ll come catch the last half hour?”
“Can’t wait,” he said with a nervous chuckle.
Linc seemed like a solid guy, perfect to get lost in, but Meekai was right there in the back of my mind and this didn’t feel right. It felt nice, but nice didn’t mean it was right.
The butterflies were quickly replaced with doubt the more I thought about Meekai. I didn’t know how to do this. Confusion and inexperience really didn’t belong with one another.
It was like Linc could read my thoughts. “Meekai will be fine, it’s just coffee. Come on,” he encouraged. “Let’s get you settled. The bell’s about to ring. Here.” He passed me a piece of paper with numbers on it. “This is your locker combination.”
He watched, amused, as I wrestled with the locker and unpacked my things in record time, taking what I needed for class.
“All good?” He couldn’t hide his smile as I told the sticky locker to go fuck itself. “You’re a firecracker, Radley Cooper. Come on.” He gently coaxed me away from the locker.
“Fine,” I argued. “But let me kick it one more time.”
The sound of his laughter was like a cool breeze on a summers day; needed. I hadn’t felt this calm before and it was strange. I just hoped it would last.
6
Radley
Monday had gone smoothly. It was like an alternate reality. The first day at Everlee Falls High made up for every day stolen from me in Adalita. I felt free.
It was strangely addictive to walk around without looking over my shoulder or being hyper aware of every person who passed me. At a few points, I’d heard whispers amongst small groups, my head instinctively turning in their direction, but for the first time in my life they weren’t directed at me.
I hadn’t been shoved into a locker, my food tray hadn’t been elbowed out of my hands, I wasn’t referred to as a slut, whore, freak or fat loser; not once. I could breathe.
Day one of sixty-six went smoothly and was uneventful. Well uneventful if you ignored the fact that Meekai and I shared the same zip code. The last thing I’d expected was his voice, his eyes . . . Him.
I was infuriated with myself because curiosity plagued my thoughts and I was running on empty looking for him. It was Wednesday. Coffee date with Lincoln Beckett day, that was where my mind should’ve been focused, but it wasn’t.
Whispers circulated in Contemporary Literature yesterday, when a few girls nattered back and forth and ran through a hundred different scenarios as to where Meekai had been for the last year. Conspiracies were running amuck and my ears were primed. He was gone for a year? Where had he been? Why did I care? I’d shamelessly looked for him between classes and breaks on Monday and Tuesday, but nothing. He was a ghost.
Today, finally he appeared, like he’d been there the whole time and I just hadn’t noticed. I walked into last period AP Biology and almost tripped over my combat boots when I saw him. His attention was on his phone as he sat at a lab table against the window surrounded by textbooks and his backpack.
This was the first Biology class of the week and I’d begun to wonder if we were in any classes together. But there he sat, leather jacket, white tee, battered jeans and chucks. His black onyx hair was shorter at the sides and longer on the top, effortlessly tousled into every girl's wet dream. He was tall, muscular, carved to perfection; the quintessential bad boy covered in ink.
I scoffed internally at myself. Yeah, he was crazy beautiful, but I didn’t like that he was. Ever since the first moment we met, he’d challenged me. He scared me, and I didn’t know what to do with that.
From the first time I’d seen him at Hardy’s, to Monday morning, to this moment, he made me feel like a million scattered pieces of a puzzle I didn't know how to put back together.
I didn’t like feeling out of control, and sharing the same breathing space was enough to shift me off my axis. It was safer to stay disinterested. Safe was the only option, and Meekai wasn’t safe.
My eyes couldn’t help but wander over to him as I looked for a lab table. Unfortunately, the only unoccupied table was to his left. Everyone else seemed to be partnered up, including Meekai. Some girl sat next to him, mindlessly chattering as he ignored her.
He didn’t look up when I walked in like everyone else had, their natural curiosity piqued when the new girl walked in, but his attention stayed on his cell phone. I didn’t know what felt worse, Meekai looking too intently, or Meekai not looking at me, period.
It was like going from zero to one hundred. One minute he was asking me out, and now it was as if he didn’t see me; like I’d never existed. Forgotten pizza and promises.
His determination to drag me kicking and screaming was all gone. It was as if it had never happened, and I felt stupid. What’s worse, I felt disappointed. But even worse than that? I was the problem, not Meekai.
I tried to comfort my mind by telling myself maybe he was oblivious, completely unaware that I was even in the same class as him. As I danced back and forth determined to come up with reasonable scenarios as to why he wouldn’t look up, I started to question if Monday had even happened. Had the party at Adalita happened? Was I stroking out?
Maybe he was over it. Maybe I was too hard. Guys didn’t like hard, and I was a loaded weapon of insecurity. Damage dripped from me like poison, and I supposed he was over it. It was probably like Linc suggested; he’s not the serious type, and I was just some girl who didn’t play ball. Then why did Linc’s words play over and over in my mind? I’ve never seen him break that much of a sweat asking out a girl.
Why did that make me smile? Why did it make me search for him when I walked down the halls or stopped for lunch? It’d been three days, and I was already acting like one of those girls who lived, died, and thrived on a guy's attention. I didn’t want to be that girl. The broken girl who begged for scraps of attention because she’d never truly experienced the positive side of it. The broken girl who’d fall for anything.
I took my seat and snapped my attention towards the classroom door as the teacher walked in, hurriedly placing his belongings on his d
esk and snapping open his briefcase.
“I’m sorry I’m late, class. The photocopier decided to run out of ink and, oh joy, today we’ll be pop quizzing it so I can focus my attention on where you guys may be falling short.”
Moans filled the room, but I was cool with it. Focusing my neurotic attention on a pop quiz was better than participating in a class I couldn’t concentrate on. Not with Meekai so close in proximity.
“Settle down, chillens. Your world hasn’t imploded, it’s just a multiple-choice quiz. There’s no grade attached,” he shook his head, smiling at the ridiculous teenage death march, a symphony of perfectly synchronized groans.
He rifled through his papers and asked a boy at the front to pass them out to the rest of the class.
“As Theo hands out the pop quizzes and before we get started, I need to appoint partners for the rest of the semester. But first, I must introduce a new class member.”
He nodded in my direction and I felt my face heat up. “Miss Radley Cooper, welcome to AP Biology. I will be your flight captain for senior year. My name is Mr. Mitchell, pleasure to meet you.” He bowed animatedly, earning sniggers from the class. “So, if you have any questions, please feel free to be less dramatic than the rest of your classmates here, and just ask. I promise I don’t bite, contrary to the rumors.”
That landed him genuine laughter from the rest of the classroom and it actually felt good to have a teacher that didn’t hate me because the rest of the class did. This clean slate thing had its advantages.
“Right.” Mr. Mitchell, clapped. “Lab partners have bee-” he stopped, interrupted mid-sentence by a late comer.
“Oh, Tobias, you decided to join us? Pray thee hath a wonderful excuse to appease thy master?”
It seemed I wasn’t the only one wearing a nice shade of red today. Tobias rushed in out of breath and passed Mr. Mitchell a pink slip of paper as he searched for an available seat.
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