She only knew bits and pieces, but it was still reassuring to have someone who got the gist of my past back in Adalita. Becca was family, and she was doted on as such, but the one person she didn’t want to see her as family? Wyatt. She crushed so hard on him, but he’d call her kiddo, and she’d walk home frustrated, refusing to come back until he’d gone.
I laughed to myself. If only she knew how he tried to stay away when she was fifteen because he was attracted to her, but he was twelve years older. If he’d pursued his feelings for Becca, he would’ve been arrested.
Becca looked beyond her years; pure temptation. Boobs, butt and curves for days. Wyatt had come clean to me because I pushed him. I could see the way he looked at her had changed, and he couldn’t deny it when I asked him. That was the same year he met Charlie. I suppose things eventually ended up where they were supposed to be.
“So,” I began. “Lincoln Beckett asked me out, and I said yes. Just for coffee, nothing serious. I don’t know why I agreed. I mean, he’s gorgeous, but my heart just isn’t in it. I think I said yes becau–”
Becca’s hand slapped down hard onto the library table, interrupting me. “Lincoln Beckett asked you out?” Her face was dipped in thick surprise, and if I didn’t know better, a little bit of hurt?
“Yesss,” I dragged out. “Is there something I need to know about him? Is he a dick?”
She let out a humorless laugh. “No,” she replied. “I mean, it depends on which side of his dick you’re on.” Her eyes locked on to my shocked ones. “No!” she exclaimed. “I don’t mean I’ve been on his dick, I just mean, well . . .”
“Well, what?” I asked impatiently. “I’ve got a date with him tonight, and even though he seems like a good guy, I’ve felt weird about it ever since I agreed to have coffee with him.”
“Breathe, Radley, shit. I was just trying to tell you that during the summer, we went out a few times, but things were happening with the farm. Mama and Daddy were arguing, and I totally forgot about a date we had planned. I was so embarrassed. I called him, messaged. I know he saw the messages but he never replied. I don’t blame him, but I just wish he would’ve given me the opportunity to explain.”
She shifted in her seat. “I just meant when you’re on the good side of him, he can’t do enough for you, but make one mistake and he’ll just walk away. I might have unintentionally done the wrong thing, but so did he.”
I felt horrible. “Becca, I didn’t know, I mean obviously, but . . . did you want me to cancel? I’d never put a guy before you. We have history, and I barely know him.”
She sighed and leaned into her hands, shaking her head from side to side. “No, that was a while ago, and honestly, I’m over it. You deserve, if nothing else, to make a friend. Linc’s great, I just hurt his ego. I mean Meekai’s bad boy hot, but Linc’s golden boy hot. I’m not pissed, I promise. So, wipe the worried look off your face, please.”
I wasn’t sure I believed her, but I hated confrontation and didn't want to cancel either. She was right, I did need some new friends. I needed new, normal teenage experiences. I’d missed out on so much, and going out for coffee wasn’t a marriage proposal.
“Well, would you do me a favor? We kind of went off track when I triggered you with the whole Linc thing.” I winked.
A genuine smile glowed back at me. “I’m sorry, I suppose being here, it’s more confronting. At Everlee Prep I didn’t have to see him every day, now it’s just awkward.” She laughed. “Small towns are a pain. I met him at a party, but now I have to see his disapproving face every time I walk past him. But he’ll get over it. I’m sure you’ll help him forget,” she teased.
“Ahh, no! Trust me Becca, I’m not looking for a man. This just landed in my lap in the weirdest way, and I said yes, trying to be brave or some shit. Like you said, friends are what I need, and I’ll make that clear tonight. Which brings me to my proposition, slash favor.”
“Lay it down,” She encouraged. “You proposing to me? Dumping men completely? Because if you are, I have to warn you, I don’t swing hard left.”
“No.” I giggled. “I just wanted to ask you if you could drive Betty home. My car, gorgeous 67’ Mustang convertible? It’s just that I don’t wanna go for coffee and then have to come back here and drive back home,” I said, batting my eyelashes as she rolled her eyes.
“Also,” I continued, “I was wondering if you wanted to catch a ride with me to and from school. I’d kinda love a friend like you. You know, a normal, give or take, there for one another friendship like you see on all those tragic sitcoms?”
Her face lit up. “Really? You mean I can dump the big yellow bird and the smell of dirty feet and putrefying fruit? I’d love that more than you could know.” She squealed as she flung herself around me.
After we hugged it out, and I handed Becca the keys to Betty, I was left with a huge smile on my face. Excitement lit like a swarm of fireflies as I let out a contented sigh. Hope was an intoxicating feeling. I wasn’t going to be alone. I had Becca, and I trusted her. It was like everything was working its way into place, but I still couldn’t stop the residual negativity from my past coming in and questioning me with its doubt.
It’s only a matter of time until the other shoe drops, Radley. I shook my head and refused to let it take control. I stood out front of the library and realized I was about to go on my first date. My nerves stirred in a flurry, and I focused on putting one foot in front of the other as I turned and made my way outside.
I opened the heavy double doors that led out to the field and descended the stairs. In the distance, I heard the shouts and noise of football practice. Whistles blowing, coach yelling, and bodies colliding. Taking a deep breath, I made my way toward the bleachers.
I rounded the front of one of the stands and climbed up a couple rows, walking far enough into the center to sit myself down and get a good look. I wasn’t a huge sports fan, but I always wondered what it would feel like to belong; to go to Friday night games with my friends and scope out the hot football players; maybe follow it up with a party, turning up to school on Monday just to gossip about the weekend relentlessly.
I never got to gossip; I was the gossip. I never got to belong or fit in; I never went to football games or did any of the normal irresponsible things that teenagers did. I craved a little irresponsibility.
Looking out onto the field, my mouth curled up at the corners as I took it all in. Football uniforms really were a sight to behold, and so were the players. Muscled legs, corded biceps and speed. They all looked perfect on the cocky and self-assured players as they laughed with one another in between drills.
So, this was what it felt like to be a girl waiting on the quarterback as she watched him practice. Sure, Linc was gorgeous, but as I sat and waited, I still couldn’t shake the feeling that this was completely wrong. What would we talk about? What was expected of me? Where would this night lead? I took in a shaky breath, and I nervously looked on. It was about ten minutes until practice was finished. Ten minutes to make myself look as confident and unaffected as any seasoned girl who went on a date with an excruciatingly cute guy.
Just over ten days had passed since I’d left Adalita, and it seemed like a lifetime since then. This time two weeks ago I was days away from carrying through with a revenge-riddled plan that still made me sick. How did he react? What was happening back there. Was he wondering where I’d gone? I’d disappeared like a ghost, and I hoped I’d left him as unsettled as if he’d seen one. Had I left him nervous? Was he thinking about all the possibilities, the punishments that would come from that one night if I outed him? Would he make plans of his own? Would he retaliate?
Lucy and Flynn were the only people who knew where I went, and no matter how much of a friendship of convenience it was, I knew I could trust that Lucy wouldn’t tell anyone where I had gone. I’d made her swear; I’d pleaded, told her I depended on this one thing from her.
I’d also said as much to Dad and Wyatt. I’d told them I didn
’t care what excuses they came up with to explain my leaving, but no one was to know where I’d gone. They understood and of course they agreed. They wanted me to have every chance to start over.
A long-drawn-out whistle sounded, and the players jogged towards the bleachers, laughter and conversation faded out as they circled the coach. I watched them remove their helmets, their raised and worn-out chests searching for oxygen as they wound down from the exertion. Some stretched out their arms and legs, cooling down. Others wiped their faces with their jerseys, intently listening to the coach. My eyes searched the bodies and faces of each player, I searched for one face, but my heart beat stirred as I wondered about the other.
My eyes caught a waving hand. Linc. He held up a finger signaling he wouldn’t be long. I nodded and smiled, unable to help searching each face. I rifled through every single player until the hairs on my arms raised to attention and dark eyes interlaced with mine. Meekai.
He stood in his number seven practice jersey, covered in dirt and grass, helmet in one hand, the other on his hip. His broad chest heaved and his full lips sucked in air. Black inky hair fell
over his forehead, the sparrow that was inked on his right hand taking flight as he ran his fingers through the wet strands.
He gave nothing away. No smirk. Nothing. His face was like stone as he turned away and set his eyes on Linc. Everything felt like it was in slow motion as his measured gaze found me again, slowly eating me up from top to toe. My body heated and my pulse jumped, but it found itself falling when it registered the disappointment and anger in the gentle shake of his head.
I jumped as the coach yelled “break” and the players dispersed, picking up their helmets and training equipment. A few minutes later, Linc was jogging toward me, his perfect teeth shining with a huge grin. He had such a positive energy; you couldn’t help but be drawn to it. I was surprised he wasn’t in a relationship. He seemed the type, and I had no idea what he was thinking when he asked me out. I reserved the right to keep wondering until I knew.
“Hey,” he breathed out, running up the stairs to where I sat.
“Hey,” I returned. “You all done?”
He shook his head. “I just have to help the guys with the heavier equipment and catch a quick shower. I stink.” He laughed. “Can you hang for another fifteen? Coach and a few of the guys will be here so you should be fine. They turned up late to practice and have to do laps for a bit.”
He chuckled as he looked over his shoulder. I followed his line of sight and landed on three disgruntled players as they took off around the field. Meekai had disappeared out of sight, and I finally managed to take in a breath. The anxiety shifted, but I still felt awkward about refusing him and saying yes to Linc. The cold shoulder he’d given so easily yesterday, then the text. The text that seemed more like an I caught you, rather than an I’ll see you, had me on edge.
I turned my attention back to Linc. “Just make sure you move down the stands and take a seat closer to Coach,” he said. “I don’t want you alone, okay?”
I looked up at him, his protective tone and concern surprising me. It filled me with hope. It felt like not wishing days away anymore, but looking forward to them. No one had ever cared about such a tiny thing, yet here he stood, arms on his waist waiting for me to agree. I nodded.
“Great. I’ll be back in fifteen. I’ll meet you down there.” He pointed to one of the bench seats where the coach sat, looking over his clipboard.
I followed him down to the edge of the field, sat on a free bench and watched him jog toward the showers. My attention settled on the field, and I fell into a hypnotic state as I watched three pissed off footballers run around slapping one another. Boys.
I snapped to attention when I heard voices travel from the left side of the bleachers. Two guys jogged over to the blocking sled, the last heavy piece of equipment to be removed. One player grabbed the right side and the other the left, the big brawny one on the left shifting impatiently. “Meekai, dude, this shit ain’t gonna move itself. Hurry the fuck up, I gotta go meet Lexy.”
Shit. My stomach dropped, and I felt vulnerable. There was only me, Coach, and the guys running around the field off in the distance. I bowed my head in an attempt not to be seen. It didn’t work. Curiosity got the best of me, and I briefly looked up, only to catch Meekai’s big brown eyes fixed on me. He moved slowly to the center of the blocking sled, each step calculated as he looked right through me, intimidation laser-focused as he pushed the equipment, not letting go of my eyes until he was out of sight.
Thank God. He was gone. I pulled my cell from my backpack and looked at the time. Five fifteen. Linc shouldn’t be far behind. I fiddled nervously with the hem of my denim skirt as I waited. One minute turned into two, two turned into three, and three turned into where the hell is he?
I checked the time again, verging on obsessive compulsive when a voice boomed from behind me. “Radley.” I grabbed my chest and jumped what felt like ten feet before I turned to see Meekai standing behind me.
“Sorry,” he said, yet it held no apology. It could have been any other word and it wouldn’t have meant a thing.
He took a seat next to me, the tension thick, alive, pulsing. I turned toward him and watched as his eyes lowered to my chest. I crossed my arms over my breasts, self-conscious as he laughed, but it held as much humor as his sorry held apology. None. It held judgement.
“You really would commit sins for pizza, wouldn’t you?” He smirked.
I felt like he’d slapped me. Triggered anger flared, clashed against his audacity and turned my sight red.
“Excuse me?” I belted out, incredulity spreading like venom as I controlled the hand that wanted to reach out and slap him.
He turned to me, his face appearing hurt; disappointed. I didn’t know, I just knew that his comment was nothing less than calling me a slut. I looked down to the white letters scrawled across my chest. Will commit sins for pizza.
My slogan tees always led to interesting questions and raised brows. I found it funny. It was my way of saying what I knew the people who hated me were thinking. I knew it didn’t make my life any easier, but it was my way of beating them to the punch and taking control. I was going to be torn apart anyway, so I thought I might as well be the first to make fun of myself.
He pierced me with his unmoving stare, his intensity was something that undid every type of emotion. It confused me. I liked it. I hated it. I wanted to punch him. I wanted him to go away. I wanted him to stay.
“I shouldn’t have said that. You didn’t deserve it. It was a dick move.”
“No shit asshole!” I replied. “Why would you say that to me? I know it’s on my shirt, and I ask for a certain amount of attention when I wear it, but for some reason I thought it might be above you to insinuate that I’m a slut, especially when you don’t know me,” I spat in disbelief.
“Look,” he began as I shuffled away, putting more space between us. “We had a deal. You promised. You said if we ever crossed paths again, I could take you out for pizza, then I saw the shirt and it pissed me off. Linc told me you agreed to go and have coffee with him after practice, and I suppose I’m just a little confused as to why I wasn’t good enough to say yes to.”
My stomach rolled with guilt, and I felt a little humbled at his admission. I knew what it felt like to not be seen as good enough, and no matter how I felt about Meekai, I would never want him to feel like that. I could only have assumed we’d never see each other again. I did make that promise, but I only made it because the reality of us meeting again was slim to none.
“I suppose I'll just have to let the fate you don’t believe in prove you wrong.”
What he’d said that night stirred within the beat of my heart, setting a cadence I’d never really felt until I’d met Meekai. I looked over to him not knowing what to say, but I knew I needed to try.
“Look, Meekai, I’m sorry. You’re right, but in saying that, it’s my prerogative to say no to you.”
/> He nodded and agreed. “I know it is.”
“You’re full-on, Meekai. I’m not used to that. Linc was less forceful, and he doesn’t scare me. You scare me,” I admitted.
“I scare you?” he questioned. “I didn’t mean to do that, it’s just . . .” he stopped, thinking about what he was going to say, while I waited. “Linc’s my best friend. He’s stood by me through a lot, his whole family has. But I’m mad at him, and he knows it. I told him about you before he asked you out. He didn’t put two and two together until he told me you’d agreed to a date. I punched his locker . . . I thought that was enough of a message. Yet, here you are. You actually turned up. He never told you not to, that’s why I’m upset.”
“What? Why would you punch a locker over that? You don’t even know me.” I asked, shocked at his reaction.
“I know you,” he mumbled.
I could barely hear him as his voice set adrift across the wind and got caught in the noise of the three players as they finished. Coach called them in early, telling them they might be off the hook now but they better change their attitudes and turn up to practice on time, or be benched. There was a resounding, “Yes, Coach,” as they departed and silence settled back around us.
“No, you don’t know me, Meekai,” I argued. “You don’t know me, not even a little bit.”
“I wanna know you. I’m gonna know you,” he shot back with unbridled confidence. “Go and enjoy your coffee with Linc, because Friday is mine. I won’t give up on you.”
“Yeah?” I returned. “What makes you think I’d want that? You’re so cocky, you know that?”
He leaned in, his thigh less than an inch from mine. I could feel his body heat radiate onto my bare legs, my skin flaring with goosebumps as fear wrestled with curiosity and want. His right hand held tight to the bench seat behind me and his shoulder ground into my back.
“I’ve been told a time or two, but this isn’t cocky,” he proclaimed. “This is knowing, Violet. You can push me as far away as you want, but know this; there’s not a length you could run that I wouldn't travel to get to you.”
Thirteen Hours To You Page 9