“Once you’ve done that, I want you to put the phone beside your head so both hands are free.”
“But I won’t be able to see you,” I argued as I placed the phone beside my head.
“There’ll be time for that. All you need is my voice. Listen to it. Take in every sound I make. Every moan, groan, grunt; every fuck that leaves my mouth. They’re all yours. They’re all because of you.”
“Meekai . . .” I whispered with the faintest touch of anxiety.
“It’s just us, baby,” he cooed. “When you feel yourself slip into the warmth, when you feel it build, drawing up and into your body, don’t be afraid. Concentrate on the sensation, fall into it. Feel every tingle, hold onto it. The moment you let it take over, I need you to remember one thing if it begins to scare you . . . What you feel, the ache, the flood of euphoria, that’s my love for you. He has nothing to do with this. It’s just us, Radley.”
I ran my fingers over my bare nipples and listened to his voice, eyes shut, feet pressed firmly into the mattress. I felt each bolt of pleasure shoot from my nipples to my core. I moaned softly, my chest rising and falling to the beat of my arousal.
“Fuck . . . baby, are you touching yourself already? Let me hear you. Let me feel you.”
Another moan left my mouth as both hands worked my nipples, the sound of his deep voice a dose of come fuck me. My body took control of itself, my pelvis slowly rocked back and forth as it searched for friction, a friction my fingers couldn’t give me.
“Where are your hands, Radley?”
“Your hands are on my nipples,” I corrected, barely managing a word.
A string of curse words travelled through the phone, a smile peppering my lips, the sound of what I did to him a huge turn on.
“That’s right, baby. They’re my hands.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “Now suck your fingers on one hand until they’re wet and run slow circles around your nipple. It’ll feel better.”
I licked and sucked my fingertips and moved them back to my nipple as he instructed. He was right, the slickness intensified the sensation.
“Now, lick the fingers on your other hand.” His voice was raspy, strained. “I want you to run them slowly between your thighs. Feel me, baby.”
I could hear the rustle of sheets as he moved. I could almost see him laid back, stroking himself, imagining it was my hand on him, my touch dragging out his pleasure.
“Can you feel me?” I asked him, needing to do to him what he was doing to me.
“Your hand feels so good wrapped around my cock, baby.”
I always thought the word cock was filthy, but hearing it leave his mouth as I ran my wet fingers through my warm center only spurred me on and amplified the sensations. The need for friction curled and spiraled as I rocked and thrusted into my fingers, searching for something more.
“I need more, Kai.” I moaned in frustration. “Tell me what it feels like with my lips wrapped around your cock.”
“Shit . . . fuck, so good.” I could hear the friction as he pumped his hand up and down his length. “You’re so warm, your mouth . . . you suck so fucking hard, so deep, Radley. I need to be inside you. I need to feel you.” He groaned, his voice husky, lost to the place where this wasn’t a video chat and I was naked in his bed. “Do you know where your clit is, baby?”
I’d looked it up today, not wanting to go in completely blind. I felt stupid not having ever touched myself, not knowing what made me feel good or how to get there. I squeezed my eyes shut and worked my way up to the top of my opening. I felt like a clumsy fool as I felt for the bundle of nerves that were the road map to the ultimate gratification, working my arousal up and over the target area until I felt a little ball.
Bingo. My hips shot up involuntarily, there was little else I could do but grind into a gentle and curious rhythm. My hips rolled, my back arched, my body chasing sweet oblivion.
“Violet? Are you there?”
All I could manage was a, “Hmm.”
He gently chuckled as he listened to incoherent sounds gather and build into a perfect, chaotic, madness. No words would form. They seemed useless, anyway. I picked up the pace and ran my fingers over and over ground zero. Repeated, delicious ruination rolled through me.
“You feel so good.” I moaned. The words unexpected. “Can you feel how wet I am for you? How much I need you?”
A long growl of the most erotic kind left Meekai’s throat. The guttural sound hit my nerve endings, the familiar feeling from that night, shadowed the horizon with punishing pleasure, but I couldn’t hold on, so I pulled back. No, no, no, no, no!
“Meekai, I’m . . . scared.” My voice cracked, and I backed up to retreat. The overwhelming pleasure, the memory of him, threatened to pull me out of the moment and into the one that I knew would never leave me. Fear had me pull my fingers away, the pleasure immediately backed off, the loss almost painful.
“Don’t be scared, baby.” His voice was gentle, loving, it begged me to hold onto it and hear its truth. “He stole that from you. Do you hear me?” he asked, his voice imploring me to hang on. “Grab a hold of my hand, Radley. Put my fingers back where they belong.”
I reached down, apprehensive as I placed two fingers back onto my clit and began to slowly fall back into rhythm, grounding myself to his voice.
“Feel me, baby. Fuck knows I can feel you,” he grated out. “This is me and you. Feel how I love you? Feel how deep and hard I fucking love you, Radley?” I focused on his words, they held such power, the trust we’d built believed them. Holding onto that trust triggered a need I could have never seen coming.
“Meekai.” I panted. “Hold on.”
I pulled my hand away and swung my legs over the bed and ran to my bathroom, stopping at the entrance, searching for the switch to turn on the light. I felt the familiar plastic button and flicked it on. Light flooded the space and pierced my eyes as I reached for the door and closed it almost all the way, my bedroom awash with a brighter glow than the moon was giving off.
I ran back to the bed and scrambled for the phone. I tapped the screen, but it wouldn’t illuminate. “Meekai? Are you there?”
“Where did you go? You left me on the edge, baby.”
“Look at your screen.” I laughed softly.
Just as I’d assumed, he’d dropped his phone face down in his sheets. The look on his face when he saw me staring back at him, bathed in a soft glow, stirred a feeling so deep in my soul, that the only way I could explain it would be to call it love. His brown doe eyes stared back at me, heavy with temptation, a grin so dopey it had me fall a little harder.
“Violet,” he whispered in wonder. “You’re so heartbreakingly beautiful.”
“So are you,” I whispered back. He laughed quietly, but there was no denying it, he was. I smiled back, shy and vulnerable under his gaze. He couldn’t see anything below my collarbone, but it was enough. “I want you to see my face when you make me come,” I told him as I bit down on my lip, not sure of how he’d react.
He inhaled a deep audible breath and slowly laid back down. I followed, my naked back hitting the cool sheets.
I directed my phone to my face and moved my fingers back between my legs. “Touch yourself for me, Meekai.” His mouth dropped open; his eyes briefly shut before I instructed him to look at me. “Lick your hand,” I breathed out, a confident smile outlining the curve of my lips.
He drew his hand up to his mouth and licked a languid tongue up the length of his palm. He raised a brow in question and waited for further instruction, his eyes dark with tempted arousal.
“Put my hands on you.”
A long drawn out, “Fuckkk,” hissed its pleasure as he did as I asked and touched himself. His eyes seared through my desire. My words hit one another like well-placed dominos. I tapped the first one, the rest casualties as freedom began to relinquish my heart and set me free
“Can you feel me? How much I want you?” He nodded in reply. “Let me see you.” My voice was
breathy, low, coated with enticing corruption. Each word I spoke felt like letting go, each one drew me further away from the bondage I’d been chained to. It was so strange how fears had a way of slipping into nothing and out of sight when you were with someone who knew your fears and handled each one with grace.
I was with the person I needed. Meekai Lannister took me by surprise. This thing that was happening between us, there was no stopping it. It may have been hard and fast, totally unbelievable to have gotten to where we were. But as I looked at him, his breaths labored, his eyes hooded, focused on me like I was his life-line, it felt anything but wrong.
Each rock that tilted the phone with the thrust of his hand on his erection, I felt it. I wanted him inside me. I thought it would feel wrong; that all I would see would be him, but it wasn’t. There were flashes, but all my heart recognized was the fact that I was in love with Meekai. He’d told me he loved me so many times since that first time, he made it look so easy.
I didn’t know what I wanted or how I’d know if it was love, but the feeling was undeniable. I felt lust, but the difference between love and lust? Your heart recognized its other half and craved it beyond a sexual high. I wanted him past this. I knew I’d want him beyond the feeling that was building deep between my thighs. I welcomed the swirling intensity that took possession of my body.
I was in love with his smirk. I was in love with the fact that he was the only one who knew how to handle my fears. I was in love with the boy who tattooed fight on his chest and did exactly that. Even when I turned him away, even when I pushed against his pull, he fought.
He was devotion.
He was loyalty.
He felt like something that was beyond forever.
“Say it again,” he moaned. “Tell me what you want . . .” His voice faded out, dropped off as profound awareness took over. I wanted to come. I wanted to come, with him.
“Let me see you.” I circled my fingers rapidly over my hardened clit, feeling the edge of forever tip the scales. “Show me your cock, Meekai.”
“Fuck, baby . . . give me a minute. I’m supposed to be making you come.”
“I wanna come with you,” I said on a heady breath.
“I said to give me a minute, not make it worse.” He gently laughed, trying to pull himself back and slow down so I could catch up.
I kept my eyes focused on him. His, as always, were locked on mine. I saw the moment he gained back the control to continue.
“I’m gonna flip the camera around, okay?” His voice felt unsure, nervous.
“I’m okay, Meekai. I need it. I can feel myself. I’m almost there,” I reassured him.
The phone flipped from his beautiful face to his throbbing hard-on. I took in the prominent veins, the way his firm hand grasped it, vigorously pumped and primed it. He was rock hard, about to burst at the seams. I imagined the tangible heat, each vein defined and thick as I ran my hand up and down in sweet torment. I imagined him thrusting into me, I imagined the way he’d look down at me with complete devotion. I could taste his kiss. I was close to the everything he promised me.
“See what you do to me, Radley? I can almost feel your come all over my dick.”
“Kai . . . Kai . . .” I chanted. I felt pleasure wrap around my ankles and wind itself up my liquifying legs. I focused on his voice, I held onto the determination to feel this all the way into climax. His dirty words drove me, pushed me, heightened the sensation to every last nerve-ending as my fingers chased release.
“That’s right, baby, fall. Let go and fall into us . . .” He flipped the camera back to show his face as our hungry eyes latched onto the other.
Our voices mingled in incoherent sighs, jumbled words that spoke of the next time and the time after that. They spoke of trust and love. They spoke of getting lost in one another until there was no way out.
“Feel me, Radley.” Radley. There it was again. My name, used like a set of instructions that let me know this wasn’t a game.
“I feel . . . you,” I told him as I strained to utter a word. My need pulsed, my thighs felt sparks detonate a trail of bliss. I could feel the climb mingle with the taste of my release, the precipice blurred the lines and gathered like blinding fury.
“Do you feel it, Violet? Let go. Feel everything with me, baby.”
His words acted like a trigger. As soon as they hit my ears, my body caved to his demand and I exploded. My head flung backwards with the impact, my back arched, and I clutched tight to my phone, determined to watch him surrender.
The sound of Meekai letting go, watching his lips twist into a long-drawn-out groan, mixed with a million I love yous . . . He was right. I felt it. I felt everything.
I felt myself let go of the yesterdays that didn’t serve today. I felt my whole heart bleed out as it fell into Meekai’s hands with no second guesses, not one fear tied to it.
I felt the love that outranked the hate. I felt it expand, I felt it breathe in and breathe out. I saw tomorrow with eyes that solely focused on him and refused to give up on us. My body shuddered and love flooded every vein that wound itself around my insides.
“Fuck, look at your face when you come, Violet . . . Violet . . . Vi . . .” The last groan left his lips, my name lifted into the ether like a prayer.
“Meekai,” I whispered his name like a sonnet that finally had an ending. I fell into awe.
I fell into love. He was so fucking mine.
“Yeah, baby?” he panted.
“I’m so fucking in love with you.”
23
Meekai
“I’m so fucking in love with you.”
Did I just come so hard that I misheard her? I watched her lips move as she said it. I watched her eyes flood with the emotion that I knew I felt every time I looked at her. Seeing her look at me that way was a life sentence I never wanted to see the end of.
“Meekai?” she repeated, worry set across her features.
“Say it again,” I coaxed as I looked into her violet eyes. I wanted to see the way her lips tilted, the way I love you looked as it left her mouth and landed with a thump as it hit my heart.
“Give me a minute,” she smiled. “I’ll be right back.”
She dropped the phone, the screen sat face up pointed at the ceiling. I could hear some rustling as she whisper-yelled her apologies for taking so long. It felt like forever as I waited for her to finally come back into shot.
I was completely disappointed to see she’d thrown on a baggy tee, covering up her collarbone and all that lay beneath her dark chocolate hair, that was piled into a messy bun on top of her head.
I ached to see her naked body, to feel every curve as my fingers traced each one. I wanted to learn every square inch of her, to map out every place that made her scream the loudest and feel the deepest, just so I could worship her into a boneless mess.
The sounds she’d made, the vulnerability she handed over by letting me hear them, I’d never felt anything like it. It felt better than any girl I’d ever touched from the inside out. I might not have been inside of her or tasted her on the tip of my tongue, but the intensity of her sounds alone was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. I felt everything. I promised to show her, but I had no idea that she would show me so much more.
Her violet eyes lit up the screen, her full bottom lip twitched until it formed into a smile that I knew she kept solely for me. It held secrets and truths. My little contradiction. I took in every smile she gave, and not one time had I ever seen her give it to anyone else. I didn’t even think she was aware of it.
She bowed her head and covered her face with the hand that wasn’t holding her phone, peeking through her fingers. The afterglow was there, but I could tell she was reliving everything that had just happened, no idea how to handle the aftermath.
“Ughh,” she growled. “I’m so awkward.” She dropped her hand and took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, Meekai. It’s crazy. I’m questioning my sanity. Like is it real? Or is it just m
y inexperience?”
Well, that hurt like a bitch, but I tried not to show the pain it inflicted. I had to understand this was all new to her. She had so many traumas to overcome. Truth be told, so did I. This was new to me, too. I felt just as vulnerable as she looked, I just hid it better.
“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’m ruining this. I can’t believe I’m ruining this . . .”
“How do you know you love me?” I asked her. I didn’t want to ask her the next question, but I needed to know where I stood, and I needed to gauge where she was at. “How do you know it wasn’t the orgasm? It can be confusing, I get that.”
She pulled her head back like I’d thrown a punch, offence creased her brow and smile lines.
“Because I trust you.” She shook her head like it was obvious. “I don’t think I’m going to explain this right so just give me a little leeway.”
There was an edge to her voice, but it was an edge that showed she cared. From the pitch in her tone, to the pissed off expression on her face, that was all I needed to hear and see to know that she was in love with me.
“When I’m with you, I feel safe.” She shifted on her bed and made herself comfortable as she began to explain. “You remember how you told me that once you found me, that nagging feeling stopped . . . that feeling of unrest?”
“I remember,” I told her.
“I thought back to the night of the party, I thought back to the hours that surrounded it and the ones after it, right up until now.”
“And what did all that thinking tell you, Violet?”
“I carried around what I can only describe as a hum. It was so annoying, totally unsettled me. I felt like I was a song without a chorus. Incomplete and unfulfilled, nothing ran right, you know?”
I nodded at her, a relaxed smile on my face as I listened with complete understanding. I’d never really thought about it until that moment, but it did feel like a hum, and one day, it just stopped. The day she walked into my life.
Thirteen Hours To You Page 27