by Paula Quinn
“Aye, I want to come!” Annabelle squeaked, moving away from his ear.
He couldn’t help but smile. Annabelle was a babe. This was too much for a babe. It was all she was seeing. He’d meant to take her fishing with him but then Richard and the others died and Cecily got sick—and Lily either spent her time doing things, or praying. There had been no time for Annabelle.
Did this mean Lily was feeling a little better?
He reached around and scooped Annabelle up in his arm and saw her gently to her feet. He turned to smile at the gel and caught Lily’s eye.
She let her gaze linger on his for a moment and then she looked away shyly.
Elias watched them leave and then felt Charlie tug on his sleeve.
“Why are you staying so close today, Eli?” Charlie asked him, his huge dark eyes wide. He still had dark circles under his eyes from being sick, but he’d grown stronger over the last pair of days. Elias was more thankful than he could express.
“Do you believe Cecily is worse?”
Elias closed his eyes and nodded.
“Bad enough to die today?” the lad asked, his voice crackled with tears that he let roll down his face.
“Aye, lad.” Elias didn’t want to say it but the sickness seemed to ravage some more quickly than others. Cecily fell ill a day and a half ago and was unresponsive in a matter of hours. Her neck, under her arms, and above her pelvis were covered in boils, as had everyone else’s been who died.
Some went more slowly, like Walter. Others, more quickly.
“Charlie, why do ye not go with Lily? Some sun will do ye good.”
Charlie shook his head. “I will stay with my sister.”
Elias nodded and reached out to pat the lad on the shoulder.
When Cecily left them a few hours later, Elias leaned over his chair and pulled Charlie’s head closer. He held the lad’s face in his hands and spoke comforting words. But Charlie didn’t want them. He wanted to fight and pummel his way through any wall—even one made of hard muscle.
Elias put his arms around the boy and held him while he wept. Charlie responded by coiling his arms around Elias’ neck and holding on to him as if his life depended on it.
Elias didn’t worry over what to say. There were no words, so he stayed quiet.
His heart broke for Charlie—for everyone. For the first time in his life, he didn’t want to go fight. Was he becoming weak over this woman and the people she loved?
There was nothing he could do about it.
Of course, he didn’t like it. As a matter of fact, he hated wondering who would die next. Would it be Lily? He wouldn’t let himself think in such a way. Doing so bred fear, and if there was one thing no one needed right now, it was panic. He’d learned in times of battle how to spend the days before it appreciating hours, minutes. Time was always precious and it passed one way or the other.
He wanted to use it wisely and win Lily’s favor. He ached to take her in his arms. He was afraid. Truly afraid—not of ghosts and shadows of his past. No, he was afraid she would die now that he found her. He was afraid, even for just fleeting moments before he scattered his fears to the winds, of not being able to save her. He wanted to tell her that he loved her. That he’d never loved anyone like this before her, and now he understood why. If their time was running out, he wanted to make certain she knew.
He spoke to Charlie and comforted him as best he could, which wasn’t anything like the way Lily soothed a soul.
“Do you think there is a heaven, Elias?” Charlie asked him, wiping his eyes.
“Aye,” Elias told him. “I do.”
“Do you think Cecily is there with my mum?” The boy sobbed a little and Elias wiped his eyes.
“Aye, they are there with Richard and Joan and the others. Someday, we will be along, but not anytime soon, aye, lad?”
He didn’t know Lily had returned and was watching from the kitchen. “Come now, Charlie. Let us go prepare her cover.”
He turned and saw Lily. When she took her eyes off Cecily and found his gaze, her eyes filled with tears. But none fell as she went to the girl and pursed her lips behind her mask to kiss Cecily’s forehead first, and then Charlie’s.
Elias watched her, remembering when, less than a sennight ago, he first saw her in her shop. It felt like ages ago.
“Where is Annabelle?” he asked her when she straightened.
“She is with Norman and his daughters, Ava and Emma. I thought she needed a rest from all the sorrow.”
“Aye, I agree,” Elias told her and stepped past her with Charlie hot on his heels. “We must see to Cecily’s pyre.”
“And Osbert’s,” she added with a sorrowful sigh. “Ivett is not far behind.”
“Father Benedict is feeling unwell today,” Simon added, coming in from outside.
Elias wanted to fall to his stool and cover his head in his hands. Everyday—every hour there were more. “We have lost Cecily.”
Simon’s eyes filled with tears as he breathed in a short gasped. “No!” His gaze fell on Charlie and he shook his head then took him in his arms. “My ears are yours, young lad. No matter what time, I will be there to thankfully listen and help if the Lord wills it.”
Elias wanted to ask him why some had lived? Why were he and Lily and Simon seemingly unaffected? He prayed it remained that way—and for everyone in Sevenoaks.
“Come, Charlie,” Elias said, leaving.
He needed some air. He went to the kitchen and left through the back door. He stepped into Lily’s beautiful garden with Charlie and stood there for a moment, taking in the sweet scents and colorful array of flowers.
“How come the herbs that helped me did not help my sister?”
“I dinna know,” Elias told him truthfully. “I dinna know if the herbs have anythin’ to do with it. Some of us are insusceptible to the pestilence and some are not.”
“I’m very sad, Eli,” the lad told him.
“I know. I’m verra sad, too,” Elias agreed solemnly, reaching the path. “Come. We have much to do. Grab one of those small axes and follow me. I havena cut any wood in days. There is none fer her pyre.”
They walked a long way off, beyond the houses and into the forest beyond. There, they found fallen branches and began chopping. They didn’t speak. They simply chopped and chopped until they had more than enough. Charlie had stopped more than once to rest but then he continued on though he had just recovered.
Elias let him chop—for a little while. He knew the lad needed to do something. He’d not only lost his sister and his mother, but people he’d known all his life.
“We have enough,” Elias told him, tucking his axe into his belt. “After we see to Cecily, I will have Brother Simon bring you back to the house so ye can rest.”
“Are you going back to the house?” Charlie asked. “Is Lily?” he added when Elias shook his head.
“She will not likely leave until everyone has been seen to,” Elias told him.
Charlie tucked his axe into his belt the same way Elias had. “I have been spared, though I would gladly give my life in exchange for Cecily’s if I could. But since I am the one who remains, I will not be a coward who runs when disaster strikes.” He swiped at a tear running down his cheek. “I do not want any more rest. I will remain with you and see to the dead.”
Elias nodded and began picking up the wood. He let Charlie carry one log under each arm, and no more—despite the lad’s protests.
He was fond of Charlie. In fact, he believed he might love the boy. He didn’t want to leave him when he returned to Invergarry one day. His parents would like Charlie. Aye. Elias would finish raising him. He felt better just thinking about it.
What about Lily now that she was a widow?
Hell, he still couldn’t believe that Richard had succumbed to the sickness. Richard had been his friend and Elias missed him. He missed working with him and learning which plant or root was best for what. He was filled with guilt over the way he felt about Richa
rd’s wife. Worse, Richard knew and was glad! When Elias had pleaded his forgiveness, Richard granted it easily and made him promise to take good care of her and not let her die. He’d sounded more like a father than a husband. Elias had promised.
They would live through this and he hoped she would become his wife. She was everything any man could ever want in a woman. Loyal, beautiful, kind, thoughtful, loving. So many things. So many reasons to love her.
She was balm for his aching soul. He’d killed too much, saw too much—and only she had made him forget. Lily was his chamomile. He smiled then laughed at himself.
Even in the midst of preparing to do what he had to do, he laughed because of her.
“What makes you smile, Eli,” Charlie asked with a shred of hope for some happiness, too. “Share it with me.”
Elias slanted his gaze at the boy. He should have known the lad was watching him. “I am in love with Lily.”
Charlie smiled, glad for him, without any judgment about her being so recently a widow. “Does she love you?”
He thought about it for a moment and his smile deepened. “Aye. I hope so. She was loyal to Richard and never gave me a reason to pursue her. But now her bond is broken.”
“Will you marry her?”
“If she will have me.”
“But you are a Scot.”
“So?” Elias wondered what he meant by that.
“Do Scots not take their wives with or without her consent?”
Elias laughed. “Try to force a Scottish lass into anythin’ and ye will be fortunate to escape with yer life. What ye have been taught is incorrect.”
“I was not taught it,” Charlie reminded it. “I saw it with Bertram and Lily two years ago when I was ten.”
Elias saw his point and assured him that neither he nor any man in his family had or would ever do such a terrible thing. His father had been raised a slave to the Governor of Berwick. He told the boy the story of his parents.
“So,” Charlie asked as they approached the house. “When you marry Lily, will you have children with her?”
“Aye,” Elias told him. “Ye and Annabelle to start.”
Charlie dropped his logs and threw his arms around him. “Thank you,” he cried.
Elias could not let go or else some of the logs might fall on their feet. He leaned in though and touched his forehead to Charlie’s. “Ye are a good lad. ’Tis my honor.” He swallowed his heart and the wish that Cecily was here with her brother.
“Now, come. Let us get this done. And dinna spread the news of my heart to anyone.”
Charlie promised and picked up his logs.
“I have aboot six or seven more trips,” he said. “I dinna want ye comin’ along. ‘Tis too rigorous.”
“Eli, I—”
“Charlie.” He said nothing else. The matter was closed. He wouldn’t lose Charlie.
He walked to the back of the house and set down the logs then clapped his hands together, wiping the dirt from them, and set out again.
“Oh, Elias, there you are!”
He turned at the sound of Lily’s voice and smiled at Charlie on the way around. When his gaze came to her, he felt as if his body was being drained of himself and then filled again, better than before.
She was like daylight piercing the gloom, spreading warmth despite the rain.
“I was gettin’ some wood with Charlie.”
“Why? We have plenty of wood in the shed,” she informed him with a curious scowl.
There was plenty of wood – “In the shed? Who went into the shed?”
“I did,” she told him. “I cleaned it up and then Estrid, Clare, and I chopped some wood. ‘Tis an excellent way to get rid of some things.”
He nodded. He couldn’t help but grin at her. She had chopped wood. She and her friends…her sisters. What was better than a wife who would not perish without him? But with Bertram still out there, it was dangerous for her to be so far away, alone.
Cleaning the shed was mayhap even more dangerous.
“Did ye wear yer mask?” he asked.
“Of course,” she thankfully replied. “So, now will you sit and eat with me, Annabelle and Simon?”
He hadn’t known she’d be preparing any meals today or he would not have been late. “Forgive me.”
She graced him with a smile and then turned back to the kitchen from where she came. Elias washed his hands in the well, a habit he’d irritatingly picked up because of Lily, and picked a few splinters from his skin. He hurried back to the kitchen and then slowed at the door and let Charlie enter first.
The room smelled wonderful with mixed herbs and spices, chopped and roasted roots, like carrots, dandelion, and turmeric over rice. He saw that everyone at the table already had their bowls, so he went to the pots and prepared his own bowl. Charlie did the same—after he held his clean hands up to Lily.
There was cooled bread on the table and melting butter.
Elias was starving and helped himself.
“How is everyone feelin’?” he asked, looking them all over.
They agreed that they did not feel sick.
Elias closed his eyes in thanks and then began to eat.
Lily smiled at him then turned to Simon and nodded at something he said.
Should he ask her tonight or wait for a less busy day? Would there be anymore less busy days? Aye, when the pestilence ran its course. Did he want to wait until then?
“This is delicious,” he let her know. She returned her attention to him and smiled again. “Ye cook verra well.”
Charlie covered his mouth and laughed into his hand. He stopped when Elias glared at him.
She was still smiling. Mayhap harder. Was her mourning over then? What should he do?
He ate. He watched Charlie eat and was happy the boy was well. They complimented Lily a number of times, and laughed when Lily’s cat leaped up into Simon’s lap and Simon and the cat and the chair all fell over backwards. After that, they enjoyed a few stories from Elias about Simon’s terrors with various cats throughout his life.
And then it was time to wait no longer and go see to the dead.
Chapter Fifteen
The candlelit service held outside was the same as it was the last time they held one, and the time before that. Today, though, a little girl was among the dead.
Lily did everything she could to comfort Charlie but, in the end, like her, he wanted to be alone.
After Cecily and Osbert’s services, Norman was appointed the new reeve of the village and sent everyone home for their supper. What they had would last even longer now that there weren’t many of them still able to eat.
On the walk home, Elias invited Charlie to go hunting with him tomorrow. Charlie agreed. Lily wanted to hug Elias for all he was doing for the poor boy. Losing his mother had to be hard enough. Lily knew what Cecily meant to her brother.
Elias was the only one who could lift Charlie from the gloom.
Brother Simon had been such a wonderful help with cooking. He’d also kept the children busy with chores and games while she chopped wood or spent time in church with Father Benedict, all while Elias was busy with Charlie, taking care of him and making sure he smiled at least part of the day.
Elias had done the same for Cecily when Alice had died.
He had tried to do it for her when she lost Richard, but she hadn’t let him. She couldn’t. Not right away. She didn’t understand why God would let Richard die when so many needed him, but more had died or were dying since Richard had left.
There were so few of them remaining, she could take care of the sick by herself, but Elias had promised to help her. What would she have done without him and Brother Simon? What if they hadn’t come to Sevenoaks, or hadn’t stayed? They could have left and avoided all this. Who would she have left? Clare would be no help.
Poor Clare, she thought, entering the house through the kitchen and getting started on their late meal. Clare spent most of her time in church, even before the Black Death
hit. Every day, she looked more terrified. Lily didn’t think Clare’s large, hollow eyes could get any wider with fear but, each day, they did. She’d had a rough time of it in the past. She had served one of London’s prestigious lords, whose name Clare withheld from all. A lord who got her with child and never looked at her again. She’d come to live in Sevenoaks about two and a half years ago and never stepped out again.
Thank God, little Eddie was doing well, with no signs of being sick despite tearing off his mask every ten breaths. Lily loved holding and kissing the babe. She missed doing it in these last, sad days.
Lily smiled and made a mental point of inviting Clare and little Eddie to supper tomorrow.
“What is it that brings a smile to yer bonny face?” Elias came closer to her and asked.
“I was thinking of inviting Clare to supper tomorrow…” Her smile faded. “If tomorrow—”
Elias held up a knife he’d plucked from the table and then began helping her separate leaves and stems for her soup. “That is a good plan. Clare needs to think on other things besides what is happenin’ here—just as the rest of us do.” His smile radiated from within and Lily wondered where his boundless confidence and peace came from.
Lion Heart. She remembered what Brother Simon had called him. It was a good name for a shepherd, for he guarded his little flock well.
He cast Charlie a furtive glance, making Lily wonder what they had talked about today.
“After I help ye see to the sick tonight,” Elias said, looking a bit anxious, “mayhap, if ye dinna want to be alone, ye will walk with me.”
“Of course,” she said, brightening his expression. “Who else would I walk with?”
Brother Simon and Charlie laughed. Lily winked at Charlie. She had an idea that Elias likely spoke with the boy, who would be an adult in a few short years, about being fond of her. She would have to be a fool not to know Elias cared for her. He grew breathless when he saw her. Truly, irresistibly breathless. Every time. When they were together, his eyes were always on her, drinking her in. She could feel his gaze and often caught him on the brink of a smile. It had made her want to giggle for some silly reason. But she couldn’t. She had been married.