by Donna Steele
“I am, thanks to your strength.”
“Mine?”
“You saved me. You led that day. You took the brunt of the force. Your physical body was injured, as was mine, but your mind absorbed so much of the pain. Now it is time for you to let the fear go and return to me.”
“It could happen again.”
“No, the shield exists. I cannot penetrate it, for it does not move. Together we could not penetrate it. The pain of severance with the minds of the planet is over and in the past. Our warriors have not asked for us to try again after seeing and feeling the devastation.”
“Feeling?”
“Braxal and Gsark were in attendance, in the same room with us. Do you remember? They were injured as well, though their injuries minor and only physical. That is the strength of what occurred. You withstood something which injured even the warriors. You should dwell on that knowledge when you are back with me. Your mind withstood something nearly felling two experienced warriors.”
“What happened?”
“I do not know for certain. I believe the Guardians decided we had interfered enough on Earth and took steps to end it. I have no way to see what is now happening on the planet.”
“The Guardians made contact.”
“No, they merely severed our connection with the humans. Warrior Braxal is not happy, though he was present and witnessed the occurrence. There was no warning. He knows there is nothing more we can do at this time.”
“Will you stay with me?”
“We are connected, Sark. In ways I have never been connected with another being before. I will stay, but you must also come with me.”
~ ~ ~
Washington, D.C.
Dee took a sip of water and sank into a chair.
Things are not improving.
Dusty grew more distant every day. Was he aware she knew he no longer slept in their bed?
He’d taken up residence on the couch. Maybe in the beginning it was to ensure her rest when they first returned home with Erica. Now she knew it was because Dusty no longer wanted to be near her.
The closeness she knew—or imagined had grown while they braved 1891 together—wasn’t enough. She didn’t want to think so, but maybe they had married because of the pregnancy. Maybe they didn’t really know each other at all. Or it was only sex that bound them.
She and Dusty hadn’t been intimate in weeks. With a newborn, it could be weeks more. Her body wasn’t ready and currently neither was her mind.
She missed him. Ached for the closeness she had come to crave. Those nights in Dr. Tillman’s parlor had been real as they’d grown close to one another.
The one night Dusty had not come to their bed while in the past, she had searched him out and they’d talked. At the time he had asked her to be honest with him, but how could she tell him she held no memory of so much that must have occurred? Would he believe her?
If she could remember what happened during those last weeks of her pregnancy, maybe she would be able to begin repairing it. She couldn’t ask Dusty and didn’t want Sherry to know so much about their estrangement. That left her alone—more alone than any time she could remember.
She played these thoughts over and over, no closer to an answer except for one thing.
She loved Dusty.
It wasn’t enough. He was slipping away, and she didn’t have the strength to pull him back.
Chapter 15
Erica lay on the soft surface where she spent the dark hours. The colors above her were currently still and muted in the dark. Normally asleep at this hour, she seized the time to attempt to see around her. It was quiet. Momma slept in the next room. Erica could feel her.
Daddy was in the big room. Neither slumbered as peacefully as they had when she lay with them inside of Momma. Even the nightmares plaguing Momma had not left her as restless then, because Daddy would enfold her in his arms, and she would slip back into sleep.
Now Erica needed them to be happy again.
~ ~ ~
Guardian Enclave
Heading to her private area, Cael needed to mediate on the information she learned about the Essence and her new circumstances as a corporeal being.
She stopped as the portal wavered, allowing entry, and gazed around her space. She never thought about her dwelling area, as it was of no consequence. Now she compared it to the area Erica inhabited. Octagonal with a portal to view the corporeal grounds of the Guardians enclave, the space was what Earthlings would call beige in the visual spectrum of color they possessed, though Cael had never considered such before. Now that she was familiar with the difference, her room seemed bland.
Erica’s room held a myriad of colors and things to stimulate sight, as did many newborns on the planet. Other senses, those beyond the physical, were harder for Earthlings to note. Smell was the strongest for Earthlings. Erica knew the scent of Dee and Dusty and had learned others.
Touch was also extremely important, and Cael felt Erica’s pleasure at the touch of her parents’ caresses. Warmth, moisture, and pain was now part of what Cael sensed from the young body. Sound had troubled Erica at first, but no longer. Her own sounds jarred even Cael in the beginning. How much worse had it been for Erica?
Taste was still an unknown for Cael. Maybe Erica might someday share the sense with her.
Cael’s room overlooked the garden, which held flora from all of the planets the Guardians observed. Roses grew in the new Earth section. Other flowering plants from the planet would be added over time.
The faint scent of roses now permeated her room to bring her closer to her subjects. A mat lay against the wall for meditating and rest. An alcove held robes. No table took up space. She consumed energy with the other Guardians in the communal space. Currently the walls showed no stimulation. She motioned to the metal-synth wall and an image of her subjects appeared.
The image was a favorite of hers. Dee lay in the hospital bed with Erica in her arms. Dusty leaned over them and the smiles on their faces showed their joy.
That joy was gone from them now.
Dusty and Dee barely spoke, the physical intimacy humans enjoyed no longer part of their lives. Was Erica aware of the change? How close had she been to their emotions prior to her birth? Did she understand emotions?
The sensation of something approaching grew. A final riff, tearing Dusty and Dee apart? Something from beyond them?
Was there any way to help?
Could she assist again if Erica were to communicate?
~ ~ ~
Erica knew Cael watched. As a Guardian she did not interfere. It was Cael who led her here, or perhaps she had led Cael. It felt mutual for some reason. No matter what else held her attention before becoming Erica, she always kept part of her attention on the Guardians.
They knew better than to worship her, yet she was revered as the First Guardian. And she did communicate on a certain level, in order to assist in creating the order.
She had watched them form and grow over time. The First Guardian drew her attention long before the Guardians formed as they were now, and Erica had studied her for ages. With Erica’s assistance, they evolved to the higher beings they now were. Unlike Erica, the First grew older and finally decided to rest. Her mind was still available to Erica, even as her corporeal body had moved on.
Now the Guardians numbered many, with seven in charge. These were the older of the Guardians though none as old as the First had been when she decided to rest.
When Cael began her study of humans, it drew Erica’s attention. The species evolved so quickly once becoming dominant on this planet. In the blink of an eye in galactic time, they had gone from caves to exploring the space around them.
Other species achieved this, though not in such an abbreviated time span. That was what drew E
rica’s attention. Barely in what would have been the blink of her eye, if she’d had such a physical thing, these creatures were approaching their destiny.
Erica knew she had influenced Cael’s thoughts in how to assist them. She implanted the idea of correcting certain mistakes.
But Cael led her to Momma and Daddy.
Chapter 16
Washington, D.C.
Returning to work was much harder than Dusty ever considered. Leaving the apartment took all of his strength and willpower. Was Erica safe alone with Dee? Since returning home, Dee had appeared normal, tired, and the distraction that plagued her those last weeks prior to Erica’s arrival seemed gone.
Unless she got better at hiding it.
Twice he’d taken out his phone to let Leonard know he couldn’t return yet. What would Dee think of such a drastic change in plans? They had discussed how he would structure his leave prior to Erica’s birth. That was before Dee tried to disappear from his life, taking their child away with her. Would she see it as his fear of leaving her alone with their daughter?
He’d done the unimaginable. Installed a nanny-cam to keep an eye on Dee. Yes, it invaded her privacy, but otherwise he would have been physically unable to force himself out of the apartment. He’d also manipulated the GPS system in her car. She would no longer be able to dismantle it. Only he could access those programs in either car now. Probably too much and obviously too late, but he would take no more chances.
He wouldn’t apologize, either. Keeping Erica and Dee safe was his number one job.
Why was it necessary?
~ ~ ~
“Come with me.” Leonard’s voice penetrated Dusty’s funk, and he jerked. He hadn’t heard Leonard enter the office.
“I have work to do.” Dusty might be physically in the office, but his mind was far from engaged. Yesterday, his first day back, was filled with questions and picture sharing. Today he needed to at least try to get his head back in the game.
He glanced at his computer and saw the screensaver dancing across the space. Had his mind wandered so long?
“You sure do. Come with me,” Leonard repeated.
With bad grace, Dusty closed his computer and followed his supervisor to the elevator.
They were silent on the way down, Dusty unwilling to ask where they were headed, even when they left the building. To his surprise, Leonard walked into a restaurant. It wasn’t lunchtime yet.
When seated, Leonard dismissed the waiter and leaned forward.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He spoke firmly, but Leonard’s body tensed as if half expecting a blow.
Instead, Dusty felt the anger melt from within. He closed his eyes as his shoulders slumped, and for a moment he wondered what Leonard would do if he put his head down on the table and cried.
“Dusty?” Leonard’s voice was softer now. “Talk to me. We’re friends, and we’re not in the office now. You’ve got to talk to someone.”
“I don’t know what to say.” His voice sounded world-weary even to him.
“Is it lack of sleep? Is Erica keeping you up?”
Dusty shook his head and Leonard pressed on.
“Is Dee okay?”
Dusty looked up at him. “I don’t know.”
Leonard’s hand came out and covered Dusty’s as he fought back tears. Sure, Leonard was his friend, but he couldn’t break down in public like this. Abruptly he realized Leonard chose this table on purpose. A high-backed booth, the last one in the darker, far corner, with Dusty’s back to the room, kept them away from everyone else.
“Please talk to me.”
“It’s falling apart.”
“What is?”
“My marriage. I . . . I’m lost. I can’t bring myself to talk to Dee. We’re miles apart.”
“What about, uh, intimacy?” Leonard shifted, obviously embarrassed by the question, but moving forward.
“It’s too soon. Erica’s only a few weeks old.”
“I don’t necessarily mean sex.” Leonard’s voice stayed low, quiet.
“I . . . I’m sleeping on the couch. Hell.” Dusty shook his head. “I’d sleep on a cot outside Erica’s door if I could, to ensure Dee doesn’t abscond with her in the night.”
Leonard’s mouth dropped open. “Is that really a concern?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think it was before and you see what happened. This is the longest I’ve gone without checking the monitor since I came back to work.”
“You have a nanny-cam on Dee?” Startled wasn’t strong enough to describe the expression on Leonard’s face.
Dusty stiffened. “Wouldn’t you?”
Leonard didn’t answer directly. “Have you never discussed why she took off like she did?”
Dusty gestured wearily. “She wanted to leave me, get as far away as she could.”
“Nonsense. I know you said she acted strangely shortly before Erica came. That seems to be over. I’m not familiar with pregnant women and I guess I assumed it was within the limits of normal. And I never thought it was due to a problem between the two of you. She loves you and you love her. That’s always been more than obvious to the people around you.”
“It’s not enough. Something happened, I don’t know what, but she wanted to leave. Leave me. She hasn’t volunteered any information and I don’t know how to ask.”
“She hasn’t left you. Something else was going on. She didn’t hesitate to come home with you when Erica was born.”
“She might be packing right now.”
“You don’t believe that.”
Dusty stared down at his hands, unable to face Leonard. “I don’t want to, but how can I know?”
“You can talk to her. You have to talk to her.”
Dusty hung his head. Ben’s advice again. He couldn’t, no he wouldn’t think about his own mother leaving him, although she had come into his dreams lately. Hell, Mom hadn’t left him; she’d died through no fault of her own. Besides, that wasn’t why he’d always kept women at arms’ length. Until this one slipped under his radar with a damned connecting buzz.
Self-analysis is a bitch.
Why conjure this up? His mother had been gone for decades. And he’d never before thought about his interactions with women regarding her.
He didn’t need psychoanalyzing either, damn it!
Leonard had nailed one thing—he had to talk to Dee. He’d hesitated when Ben tried to make him see reason. Maybe, now as an order from his boss, he could make himself do it.
~ ~ ~
To Dee, it felt strange not to have Dusty around full time. Even with their estrangement, his presence here comforted her on some level.
Erica was a delight but craving Dusty had become a constant. If only he wanted her as well.
Dad had called and she knew his probing questions hadn’t been answered to his satisfaction. Of course, he was aware of their problems. He just didn’t know the cause of them, because she didn’t.
I’m the cause.
Were Dusty’s thoughts on them now? Did he miss being home? Of course, he missed Erica, but did part of him miss her as well?
Her recollection was of them being so close, almost symbiotic after their experiences in Braddock’s Crossing. The memory couldn’t have been completely false. Dee loved him but was it enough?
Could this be fixed?
~ ~ ~
Dusty hit save on the report he had drafted. He’d been able to stay on point for about three-quarters of the way through. Immediately his mind drifted to Dee and Erica.
Steeling his spine, he refused to go to the nanny-cam until he’d finished. The report needed tweaking, but he had finished it. A lot of editing would be needed.
His reward, to watch his women, came now. He sw
itched the computer to link with the camera he’d installed in the living room. He’d admitted installing this during their conversation and Leonard asked no questions afterward.
Did Leonard consider Dee a flight risk as well? He hadn’t asked, and so far, he hadn’t probed as to whether Dusty followed orders and talked to her.
There they were. Dee nursed Erica. Erica’s little fist opened and closed on Dee’s breast and Dee sang to her.
Singing.
She hummed occasionally back in 1891. He remembered hearing her after they got back. Not lately. Not since her pregnancy advanced. He’d forgotten his pleasure in the sound and wished the audio was better. Erica watched Dee as she fed, her eyes open and curious.
There were no happy sounds when he was there. Dee avoided him now and, to be honest, he avoided her as well. Did she still want to leave him? Take Erica and disappear?
Would he survive if she did?
Chapter 17
“Dusty?” Dee spoke from the far side of the room. They were rarely in touching distance any longer. “Mom is coming to town. She wants to meet Erica.”
“When?”
“This morning.” She couldn’t look at him. Hell, she’d avoided mentioning this until the last possible minute.
Clearly, he wasn’t happy. “Roger?”
“She says she can’t leave him alone. He’ll be here as well—”
“No. I don’t want him anywhere near Erica.” Dusty’s expression grew stern.
Dee faced him, acknowledging his worry. “I agree. I’ve told her so. I only agreed to see her, and to not have her come here. We can go to the park or something.”
“You’d take Erica out?”
The tone of his voice caused her back to stiffen. “Yes. I’m perfectly capable—”