by Vic Tyler
He exhaled frustratedly, his hand mussing up his already messy hair.
“I can’t talk about it right now. Out here,” he groaned. “But I can explain about Jenny. Grant and I need her help. To deal with Cooper. But I swear I didn't touch her. I wouldn’t see her ever again if I had the choice. And after all this, I won’t. You’re the only one I want, Maria.”
My throat balled up, and I angrily wiped away at the tears falling down my face.
“I don’t believe that. You’ve been disappearing every night, lying about where you were and when you were done with work.” I choked. “You had Brie’s necklace. You two were meeting.”
Benji looked dumbfounded, and then his panicked gaze shifted to Brie. From behind me, Brie cleared her throat awkwardly.
“Um, I didn’t get my necklace fixed, so I asked him to give it to Grant since he was seeing him that day. Didn’t matter since he dropped it somewhere, so I could’ve just given it to Grant myself.”
Brie rolled her eyes, and Benji’s jaw ticked in annoyance.
“But about the other stuff, Benji came over to my place, begging to know your favorite songs so he could learn them and play for you. He said he needed a place to practice since you were at the studio and in case you went to his place, and I lent him some books and recordings at my apartment. I didn't know he was being weird about it.”
She glared at him.
“Shut up, Cheddar,” Benji said, scowling.
“You didn't even start the song in the right place.”
“Yes, I did. I started with what I needed to tell her.”
“To warm the lonely nights?” Brie asked sarcastically.
“That I love her, you fucking piece of lactated mold. Now shut up.”
For a second, I thought my heart stopped.
“Do you?”
Benji looked at me, and his expression clear, now solemn.
“Yes.”
“Say it.”
“I love you.”
“Again.”
“I love you, Maria.”
I felt the tears welling in my eyes again. Benji was immediately in front of me, covering the distance in no time. His strong arms wrapped around my body, embracing me tightly.
“I love you,” he whispered fiercely, his breath tickling my ear and his arms locked in a vice grip as though he were afraid I’d slip away. “I fucking love you, and I don't know what to do about it. I know I’m going to fuck up a lot, and you’ll have to be patient with me. But I love you, and I always will. Believe me, Maria, and be mine.”
“Yeah.”
chapter ten
Fine By Me – Andy Grammer
“P ardon the way that I stare,” Grant sang, more Frank Sinatra than Frankie Valli. “There's nothing else to compare —”
I gritted my teeth. Of course, I had to deal with this asshole. Not that I regret doing the whole serenading shit for Maria but knowing it might come back around to Grant had given me some serious reservations.
“What can I do so you never mention this again?” I asked, rubbing my temples.
He looked thoughtfully at me, his finger tapping on his chin. “Can I make a song request?”
“I’m not singing for you.”
“That’s too bad. The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak.” Grant wiggled his eyebrows at me.
It’d already been a straight week of Grant coming by to sing “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You.”
I ignored him at first but when Maria started singing along, I deigned to make Grant delete it from his memory.
“Who’d have thought you’re such a romantic?” Grant said, chuckling. “It’s touching.”
He exaggeratedly placed a hand over his chest.
“You can jump on the train,” I muttered, furiously clicking on my mouse. “Or in front of it.”
“I should ask Maria how she managed to keep such a tight leash on your balls,” Grant said, smirking. “She said you like that.”
“Shut up. She’s the one who’s going to be leashed.”
Grant raised his brow and burst out laughing. “Is Benji sharing details about his life? It finally feels like we’re friends.”
I sighed, a migraine threatening to stab into my brain. He leaned back in his chair, beaming.
“So how’s life after graduating as a bachelor?”
“Great.”
“Who’d have thought the Devil Photographer would be tamed?”
“Shut up.”
“Maria’s a very special lady to put up with your shit. It’s really too bad she’s leaving,” Grant said, rubbing his chin. “What is she doing now?”
“That guy she met at the party, Johan —”
“The one you were going to snuff for talking to Maria,” Grant piped in. I ignored him.
“— is some big shot music producer. He was impressed by Maria’s music background and some insights she had in connecting ‘visual and auditory art,’ so he offered Maria some experience under a music supervisor. It sounds like something she’d like doing,” I said, eyes still on my screen.
“Are you sad?” He asked.
“No.”
“Liar,” Grant smirked. “Guess it doesn’t matter since you’re leaving the country soon anyway. Maria okay with that?”
“Yeah. It’ll be weird to do long distance when we’ve just started going steady,” I said. “But we’re both set on making it work. It won’t be too long anyway.”
A smile played at Grant’s lips, his expression soft and pleased.
“What happened with the Cooper situation?” I asked, turning to look at him.
It was like an explosive static shock. There was a bristling tension buzzing around Grant that disappeared as quickly as it happened. His eyes were hard, and his lips were pressed into a thin line.
“Had to pull a few favors to make sure things went through. Cooper has some serious backing behind him.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Thank Janessa for me. The videos she had of him helped push it through.”
“No thanks,” I said. “She’ll take it as ammunition to do it again. She’s blackmailed enough victims as is.”
“It helped Cooper leave her alone,” Grant said, shrugging.
“Recording a rape will do that for you.”
“Thankfully he’ll be leaving every woman alone once he’s been given the maximum sentence.”
“I’ll just give you her number and you can thank her yourself,” I said, grimacing.
“Oh, by the way, my guy went through her files for insurance and found this.”
Grant tossed a USB drive onto my desk. I picked it up and raised a brow at him.
“You weren’t excluded from her arsenal.”
Jesus, that bitch. I cursed and tossed it back to him.
“Nuke it,” I gritted. “No fucking way I’m thanking her after that.”
He grimaced. “I’ll just send some flowers and a giftcard to her agency.”
“For the best.”
The relief of dealing with Cooper and Janessa hung in the air between us, and we basked in it for a couple of minutes.
“Before I leave,” I said slowly. “I want to visit Martin’s grave.”
I wasn’t looking at him, but I knew Grant’s expression was quizzical. After all, this was the first time I mentioned him of my own accord.
“I want to tell him about how far I’ve come.”
I wasn’t big on talking to gravestones, but it felt like the least I could do after everything.
“I’m sure he’d like that.” Grant’s voice was softened by his smile.
“Come with me,” I said, glancing at him.
He looked out the window, completely still for a few moments. Then he shook his head.
There were no words needed. Both of us had a deep connection with Martin, but I was the only one who had come the closest to resolving my situation with my old mentor. Maybe one day we would be able to visit him together, but it was fine if it wasn’t
anytime soon.
“How’s Cheddar?”
Grant raised a brow at me. “You’ve seen her.”
“Yeah, she’s even peppier than before. It’s getting annoying,” I grumbled. “But I wasn’t actually asking about her. How are things between you and Cheddar?”
He picked at some invisible dust on his chair. “Same old.”
“And with the rest of her family?”
“Same old.”
“That black eye doesn’t seem ‘same old.’”
Although Grant covered it up pretty well with the help of some makeup artists I asked, the black and purple bruise Brie’s brother dealt him was no joke. I had heard they used to be best friends, but now they never exchanged a single word, even in each others’ presence. I didn’t know what happened, but if Grant didn’t talk about it, there was nothing anyone could do to make him talk.
He exhaled, rubbing his jaw. “Same old, minus the bruise.”
Then, as is Grant’s fashion, he slapped on his big million–dollar smile.
Ah, yupp, there it was. The end of this conversation.
“Time for me to get back to work,” he said, getting up and adjusting his silver striped Givenchy suit. He waggled his finger at me, mockingly. “Now, don’t be slacking off. You’ve already incurred 69% more expenses this year than all your previous years. Combined. And you closed the studio for six days and opened late nine times. That’s six and nine more than all your other years working here. Combined. You know, I’m starting to think you’re not serious about your job.”
I scowled. “Stop harassing me, you dirty old man.”
“I’m not making up the numbers.” Grant shrugged. “Alright, the expenses were only about 55% so I’m rounding up. But for your attendance. Well. Got it all down in the system. You can check for yourself.”
“What the hell? What system?”
“Oh, right. I guess it’s more like my secretary taking a tally of when you’re playing hooky from the CCTV. She thought I was harassing her by making her watch porn. Can you believe it?”
Grant cackled as he ducked from the flying mouse aimed at his head.
“There’s only one camera pointed at the entrance,” I gritted.
“Uh huh,” Grant said, wiggling his brows before disappearing behind the door.
I collapsed back into my chair, inhaling and exhaling deeply. The days Grant stopped by were draining.
The door creaked open. Goddammit, did Grant forget something? His wallet? His carefully manicured manners?
“I swear to God, I’m going to chuck my monitor at you, and this time I’m not going to miss.”
“Nice, I guess I’ll finally have my own desktop setup.” Maria bent down, picking up the forgotten mouse.
Even though she told Grant she was quitting immediately, she agreed to stay for two more weeks. It didn’t take long to convince her, especially when I spent most of that time with my head between her luscious thighs.
“Jesus, I thought you were Grant,” I groaned, rubbing my eyes.
Maria’s footsteps got closer and then I felt her legs slide up beside me before she sat her pretty little butt on my lap.
“I prefer when you straddle me without any clothes on,” I murmured, squeezing a handful of her ass.
“Nuh uh,” she whispered. “We’ve got a meeting in twenty minutes. The AD sent an email just now, and I wanted to make sure you checked it.”
I grabbed my phone, and as soon as I unlocked it, Maria snatched it.
“What’s this?” Her eyes widened as she showed me the background.
Dammit. The cello picture.
Her hand shot out of my reach. Shit, I thought I was fast.
“Give that back, sweetheart,” I growled.
Maria raised her brow. “I think I’m entitled to an explanation about a picture of me.”
“I just happen to like it.”
“If you wanted more pictures of me, you only had to ask.”
“I have plenty to choose from.”
“What?” Oh, crap. “What pictures?”
I sighed, running my hand through my hair. This was a mess of a day. “Pictures I’ve saved from location shoots. And the camping trip.”
“Oh,” Maria said thoughtfully. “Makes sense. Except this was from neither.”
She motioned to the phone.
“Alright,” I growled. “I took a few — sometimes — when I felt like it. When the moment hit me, and I wanted to remember it.”
Maria smiled, putting my phone on the desk. She leaned to kiss me.
“Alright,” she whispered. “I saved pictures of you too.”
“Ugh, like that picture of me sleeping?”
She laughed while I groaned.
“I did have a question for you though,” she said, cocking her head.
I grunted in response.
“The whole safeword thing. You said you never used it before.”
“Nope,” I said, leaning back. The chair wobbled, and Maria yelped as she fell onto me. “All the other times I’ve had sex were pretty vanilla. I never even thought about needing a safeword.”
Maria’s face filled my vision, those sparkling chocolate eyes narrowing under her frown.
“But you wanted to establish one before we even slept together.”
My hand snaked up her neck, and I pushed her face into mine. Her soft, warm lips were deliciously plump.
“I wanted you so bad that I was scared I was going to hurt you,” I murmured.
“I’m pretty sturdy.” Maria’s lips turned up, her smile participating in our lip lock.
“Prove it,” I whispered, grabbing her ass as I stood up and laid her on my desk. “You said twenty minutes?”
“Fifteen now.” Maria’s eyes were hooded with desire, her face flushed, and her glistening pink lips parted.
“Then let’s get started.”
epilogue
Everything – Michael Bublé
Maria,
Got off the plane in one piece. It’s hot already. Wish you were here Wish you were here.
Benji
Maria,
Hey. This is pretty awkward. I never wrote letters before.
It’s pretty amazing here. I wish you could see it. It’s green everywhere. And wet. Pretty sure I touched poison ivy or something.
Tell me more about what you’re up to.
Love,
BR
Hey Maria,
I’m pretty sure I can just email you now, but you seem to like the letters so I’ll continue. It’s hard to think of stuff to write.
I’m glad you like your new job. I’ll try to call you soon so I can hear more about it. Let me know if anyone hits on you bothers you.
The villagers here keep poking at me. I think they’re starting to accept me. Never tried this hard to be liked. Except with you.
They keep making fun of this tall white man in a jungle where he’s got no business to be. Even I’m starting to think I’m a freak.
Freaky B
Dear Maria,
Damn, I loved the new short film you worked on. It’s distinctly you. I felt like you were next to me. Nick made fun of me when I took a photo of your name in the credits.
I want to tell you all about life here. The rainforest is so fascinating.
But I suck at words, so I’ll email you some of the photos I took.
A picture says 1000 words, right? There’ll be enough for a dictionary.
I have nothing to say to everyone else. But tell Cheddar I’m not coming back just to make her look good in pictures. She’s a shit model if she can’t do that herself. And tell Grant I’m glad to be somewhere he can’t reach me.
Thinking of you,
Benji
To my Maria,
That’s what you’ve always been. My Maria. So if you want to officially change your name, then I’m behind you 100% (thinking about being behind you is driving me crazy). I’m sure your parents are proud of you, wherever they are. You’re chasing
your dreams, and you made it this far on your own. Hell, I’m proud of you.
Nick and I attended one of the peace talks. It was intense, and I was scared shitless, believe it or not. It’s mind–blowing how the people here are amazing and resourceful. The things they’re capable of doing out here make me feel like a barbarian, and it’s frustrating when I feel like I can’t capture it on camera like I want to.
It’s hot as balls.
I’m dying
to see you.
Love,
Your Benji
Dearest Maria,
Would it be tacky to say how happy I am? That you want to wait for me to change your name? It is pretty fucking tacky. But I’m ecstatic so deal with it.
Trekking through the rainforest is one hell of a trip. The forests in the States are botanic gardens compared to this. The other day, I found a bunch of Queen’s Tears on this one tree, and I thought of you. The petals curl up like your morning hair when you shower before you sleep. It didn’t feel as nice as you though.
I wish I could bring a bouquet back for you.
Missing you,
Benj
Forever my Maria, my love forever,
Jesus, I think I’m dying. It feels like my body is trying to rip itself off my skin, from the inside out. Everything is so painful.
But thinking of you is so much more painful. Coming here felt like a dream, but every second I am away from you, you’re the only thing I dream about. My heart fucking aches.
Woman, what have you done to me? I left my sanity — my soul — with you. There is no place I belong more than beside you and in you. That’s where my home is. Home sweet Maria.
And now, there’s a glaring emptiness inside me. How the hell I lived this long with you is a wonder. Each and every time I drive myself into you, I am fiercely — irredeemably — barbarically trying to leave myself in you. To mark you. Claim you. Own you. But it’s never felt like enough.
I’ve been inside you, but you effortlessly fill me. Every time I separate from you, my skin feels empty, but my heart overflows with the knowledge that you love me. I only hope there’s a small space in yours to always carry me with you.