by Karen Pepin
Ta'Bor strode to his father, who was supervising the felling of a tree for the new canoe, as I went to find a piece of wood for my project. Sorting through the long pieces for something of the right length and shape, Ta'Bor's words penetrated. Did he mean to supervise my work? After a few minutes, I found a suitable branch and carried it back to my fire. I also grabbed a paddle to use it as a guide for carving a new one. After stripping the bark from my branch, I began whittling the wood to the shape I wanted.
Every once in a while, I glanced around. Ven'Ta was still directing Merik, Sal, and Cendran on how he wanted the canoe crafted once the tree was down.
Crafting a canoe was not difficult, but time consuming. While we were setting up camp, Ven'Ta had already chosen the tree he wanted. The men had wrapped the trunk with wet clay at eye level and started a fire to burn through the trunk. As the tree burned, the men used long, pointed sticks to break off the burned sections on one side of the trunk. This would weaken the tree faster and help them guide its fall. Based on how much they had already chipped away, the tree should fall soon. Once down, some of the men would strip the bark with their blades. They would do this quickly, before the sap hardened and glued it to the core wood. The rest of the men would burn through the far end of the trunk to give it the proper length. It was easier than trying to whittle through the wood.
After the tree was down and the length of the canoe set, it was simply a matter of creating a hollow for clan members to sit in. Fire, although time consuming, worked best for this task too. The crew would mark the edges of the boat’s shape and clay-wrap the wood they didn't want burned. Next, they would hammer in wooden wedges using large stones and set fire inside each crack to help burn out the hollow. Periodically, they would have to extinguish the fire and scrape out the burned parts. They would also need to reapply wet clay once the heat of the fire dried it out. The men would repeat this process until the canoe was finished. I overheard Ven'Ta say that he would like a new boat done in four days, meaning our clan would trade work shifts throughout the day and night. I wondered if I would be asked to help on one of the shifts, then shook my head and continued carving my paddle.
Ta’Bor still had not returned. When I finally spotted him, he was on the other side of the clearing, socializing with the hunters of Tika'Chen's clan. He saddled me with this job and then went to meet them? I turned back to my work. Using my hotar claw blade, I peeled one curl of wood after another as I shaped the paddle. I also spent a great deal of that time imagining walking up behind Ta'Bor and smacking him in the back of his thick skull with the finished tool. The daydream did not make the work go faster, but it made me feel better.
I could hear the chatter and laughter of the clans. Unable to stop myself, I looked over again. Lasa was tossing her long hair and smiling playfully at a very handsome hunter. I felt my heart sink: She knew how to flirt, and I didn’t.
Well, I thought, good for her. Finding a mate was what she wanted more than anything. Mate or no mate for me, I just wished I had the chance to meet these others also.
A loud cracking sound caught everyone’s attention. I watched my clan mates scatter as the tree started to fall, splintering the remains of the burning trunk and picking up speed. The earth jolted when it hit the ground. I continued to work.
"Ani?"
I looked up at my mother and struggled to smile, but my disappointment at having to work while others socialized made it hard.
"What are you doing?"
"Ta'Bor asked me to carve a paddle," I said.
"Surely that could wait," she said.
"He wanted it done for when the new canoe is finished. The others are still working too."
"No," she said, "As soon as they have removed the bark, Ven'Ta is letting them socialize with Tika'Chen's clan. We have so few opportunities to meet others that he didn't want to deprive them of their chance. Surely, the paddle could wait until tomorrow."
I said nothing, but fury bubbled inside me.
"Tika'Chen's clan seems to have an abundance of young men seeking a mate," my mother said, sitting down next to me.
"Hmmm," I replied.
"Ani, you are an adult now."
I know, I thought. That's why I'm here carving this stupid paddle instead of over there meeting people.
"Have you considered finding a mate?" she asked.
"Of course," I said. She put her arm around me and I closed my eyes briefly. I realized that as much as I wanted to meet someone, I wasn't sure how to go about doing so.
"Mother?"
She looked at me expectantly.
"Can you tell me about father?"
Tresi'Ki stiffened.
"About how you met and courted, I mean," I added hastily.
"It was a long time ago."
"I know. It's just I don't know how to flirt or attract a man," I admitted. She smiled at me.
"Be yourself. If it is the right man, that's all you need." She squeezed my shoulder.
"Lasa flirts and..."
"You are not Lasa," she said.
"I saw her earlier talking to a hunter. He seemed interested. I mean, his body language suggested that he was," I said.
"That would be good for her. But, don't measure yourself or your worth by that of your sister."
"How will I know if the man I want is the right one? How did you know father was the right man for you?"
"You'll know." She hugged my shoulders tight one more time and then stood up. “Just as I knew. Now, finish up the paddle if you feel you must, but don't take too long."
"I won't," I said.
I continued whittling in silence, considering her words. What did I want in a mate? Someone I could love and who would love me. A good hunter who would help provide for our children. Someone who worked hard for the good of the clan. I daydreamed as I carved, trying to imagine what my mate would look like.
I became so lost in thought that when one of the hunters threw himself on the ground next to me, I practically jumped out of my skin. I glanced at him, but had reached the curve of the paddle blade at where it met the handle. Concentration was required and now I really wanted to finish.
I did not want to give Ta'Bor any more reasons to pick on me. A soft cough pulled me from my thoughts.
"Is there a reason you do not greet me?"
"My apologies, but I need to finish my work,” I replied.
"Surely that can wait for another time. It's not often that we have the opportunity to speak to anyone from another clan."
The young man’s wavy, brown hair showed not a hint of blond, staying stubbornly dark, unbleached by the suns. His tan skin gleamed a deep brown. Wicked green eyes glinted with mischief and good humor. I could feel heat rising in my cheeks as he leaned back on his elbows, grinning cheerfully and showing off his fine, fit masculine form. I smiled back shyly, unable to resist his charm.
"True," I replied. "But I was tasked with finishing this paddle."
"I understand wanting to complete what was promised. I am Che'Davin."
"Ki'Ani," I replied. He raised an eyebrow and I turned to see Ta'Bor stomping toward us.
"Aren’t you done with that yet?" Ta'Bor asked. The vein in his temple throbbed in time with his pulse.
“Almost," I replied, keeping my eyes dutifully on my work. It figured that Ta'Bor would choose now to berate me and insinuate that I was slow and lazy. I couldn't resist giving Davin another glance. He met Ta'Bor's frown with a challenging smile. That seemed to make Ta'Bor even angrier.
"Work now," he snapped. "Flirt later." With that he left, and I bit back my words. I was not flirting. Showing common courtesy did not mean I was being lazy. I went back to my work.
"I see now why you were so focused on your task. I was beginning to wonder if it was something I did," he said.
"Oh. No, no. He's just..." I couldn't decide what to call Ta'Bor. Also, I didn't want Davin to think I wasn't interested in talking to him.
&nbs
p; "I'm sorry if I got you in trouble," Davin said, hopping to his feet. "How about I find you later when you are not so busy? Perhaps there is a task we can do together." The word 'together' lingered in the suddenly too warm air.
"I'd like that," I said. Davin grinned again as he left.
Giddy laughter burst from my mouth. I tried to smother the sound, but was not completely successful: my excitement dissolved into a fit of soft giggles. I may not have been flirting, but he was. I was flattered. Maybe this handsome hunter was seeking a mate, or maybe he was speaking to me because—as he had said—it wasn't often that we had a chance to mingle outside our clans. We Gathered twice a season's cycle to meet others and strengthen ties. Ta'Bor’s eyes followed Davin's retreating form until he was back with his clan. Then Ta'Bor turned his scowl in my direction. I ducked my head.
I finished my work on the paddle before the evening meal, yet before I could do more than have a sip of water and stretch my legs and back, I was directed to help with the cooking. After the meal, I was kept busy gathering wood for the fire. It seemed like everyone was conspiring against me having any time to myself.
Once night fell and the Gathering by the fire started, I had no time to find Davin or talk to him. I found a spot to sit next to my mother. Lasa came over and sat on the other side of me. We all wanted to hear the news. Since the Tika'Chen clan had been here, they might have news on how the other clans fared. Like everyone there, except the children who were asleep or drowsing in their parent's arms, I listened intently to the chiefs.
"It has been a long time since our clans have met up for a Gathering," Ven'Ta said.
"It has. Usually your clan has passed through before our arrival," Tika'Chen said. Ven'Ta nodded.
"Have you seen sign of the herds?" Ven'Ta asked.
Tika'Chen shook his head. "There have been a few small strays, but the brunt of the herds have gone north for better grazing. Plenty of small game remains though."
"What of the hunters?"
"Trail sign suggests that the bollar packs have crossed already and are heading after the herds, as expected. However, we have seen multiple signs of hotar since the crossing. Enough to suggest that there may be more than one in the area, sharing territory. Even with the one killed today…," several hunters sent up a cheer and then Tika'Chen finished, "...it would be wise to remain on guard."
"What news from the other clans?"
"Sal'Velin's clan has had some misfortune. They lost a canoe as soon as they hit the Deeps in the crossing. All gear and a child aboard were lost. The rest of those from that canoe swam to other canoes. Luck was with them that the others were close enough still to rescue them. If they had overturned any further in, all might have been lost. The survivors claimed that something struck their boat, but they could not see anything."
I bit my lip and curled my hands into fists on my knees.
"Bobba'Bobba's clan just gave birth to twins on this side of the crossing," Tika'Chen said, moving on to happier news.
"A great blessing," Ven'Ta said.
"That is all the news I have. The other clans have already come and gone north. Your clan is the last. What delayed you so?" Tika'Chen asked. Ven'Ta shook his head.
"We tarried too long, thinking there was more time. When the weather turned suddenly, the herds vanished overnight and the watering holes dried up. It was a difficult journey. Bollar claimed the lives of two of our hunters."
"We grieve for your losses."
"The loss of one is a loss to all. But, a babe, blessing of one of the hunters, is on the way. And the meat of the bollar fed us on the journey. Sometimes you must find the blessings where they come, even in a time of sorrow."
They spoke more about commonplace things and people. My eyes grew heavy and my bones ached. I yawned widely, blinking. Mother put her arm around me and I rested my head on her shoulder. My sister nudged me with a sharp elbow. I struggled to keep paying attention.
"Your clan is growing and abundant with many strong arms," Ven'Ta commented.
"The Wanderer has been kind," he replied. "We have many young men and women who seek mates and may soon travel with others."
"As do we."
"It is a shame we must move on tomorrow."
"We will not be far behind. Perhaps we will meet again before the next Gathering, to hunt together for a time."
"For a time. I am sure that would be welcome to my clan."
"And ours."
"Until then, may the Wanderer and Hunter guide your path and protect you."
Many of our clan stayed awake to talk to Tika'Chen's clan well into the night. I, however, sought my rest.
In the morning, Tika'Chen's clan bustled about noisily, preparing to leave. They were so loud that I gave up on sleeping. Grumpy at not getting any time to meet these people before they had to move on, I made my way to the nearby stream. I was splashing my face with cool water, hoping to wash away my foul mood, when a voice from behind said, "Well, we are off on our travels again."
Davin knelt beside me to fill his water bag.
"Wanderer guard and guide your travels," I said. My palms were sweating; I dipped them again in the cool water.
"I am sorry we didn't get to talk."
"I am, too."
He smiled his sunny grin and said, "Perhaps our clans will meet up again soon."
"Perhaps," I said, hopeful and nervous at once. "If not, there is always the next Gathering. Perhaps our clans will meet then too."
"I hope so. I'd like to get that chance to talk." Davin sealed his water bag and tossed its carry strap over his shoulder. "Safe journey."
"Safe journey," I echoed. He gave a jaunty wave and jogged to catch up to his clan. I watched until my sister joined me.
"What was that about?" she asked.
"Nothing. Just wishing each other a safe journey," I said. A silly smile tugged at my lips. He wanted to know me better. I felt a great uplift in my heart. There were plenty of women here. Why me? Apparently my sister felt the same.
"I wouldn't read too much into it, if I were you," Lasa said. "He was probably just being polite. Yesterday, he flirted with every woman he met. So, it is unlikely that he is interested in you."
Surprise doused my happiness. Lasa filled her water bag, saying nothing more. I stood up quickly and returned to our camp. I reviewed Davin's words in my head. Was he just flirting with no real intention of following up on his words, like Lasa said? That just didn't ring true to me. But, Lasa knew more about men and about flirting. Should I trust my feelings or Lasa's words?
6
The rest of the day I struggled with what my sister had said. Was Davin really interested in me? Logic said there was no reason why not. Except for Ta'Bor, the clan seemed to view me as a capable, but inexperienced adult member. I did my best to pull my weight. A worry crept into my confidence. So far there hadn't been any romantic interest from any of my male clan mates. For many of the older men, I must seem more like a daughter than a potential mate. The younger men of the clan, who were closer to my age, did not seemed interested in me either. I chewed on my lower lip. I thought I was attractive to look at, but what if I wasn't? Could I be simply fooling myself? Was that why Lasa was unmated also?
These thoughts were driving me mad. Logic dictated that I was as good and as attractive as any other woman. Emotions don't always listen to logic though. Finally, unable to stand my whirling thoughts, I decided to hunt. I was not very adept with the sling, since I rarely used it. Practice would keep me focused—it would keep me from dwelling on this foolish speculation and self-doubt. When next we met, I would learn what Davin meant and not before. But even as I thought that, I could not erase his smiling, green eyes from my thoughts.
I let my mother know where I was going, took my spear and sling, and headed into the tall trees. It was cooler under their branches. Light struggled to pierce their thickly adorned blue-gray leaves and black needles, leaving sparse beams shining on the r
ough ground in patchy sections. As I walked in the twilight-like dimness, I picked up likely ammunition for my sling. Some of the hunters carried smoothed stones, either that they found or that they smoothed themselves with leather and sand. I never seemed to have the time or energy for that. Instead, I looked for stones of the right size with as few points to them as possible. Our clan survived by our ability to hunt and strike true. I was decent with my spear. I really did need to improve my sling. I sought out targets to practice on.
A line of orange shelf fungus growing head height on a nearby tree seemed like a good choice. I dropped a stone in the leather pocket and began a practice swing. It had been some time since I used my sling and I felt off balanced trying to do so now. Skill would come back, I reassured myself. I spun the sling and launched the stone at the fungus. I missed, striking the tree it was on instead. Amazing, I thought, considering how little I used my sling.
It was my own fault for never excelling with this weapon. Mother always said, “Practice makes the master.” But clearly, memories of the smothered laughter from my clan mates when I was learning the sling had left their mark. I knew that my ego was at play, and it was not a good enough excuse for not improving. Still, I couldn't stand having anyone see how bad I was, only practicing when I could be alone, which was rare.
Over and over, I tried to strike the fungus, but my aim worsened with each try, never coming closer than that first hit. In fact, I only managed to hit a tree trunk once more, and it was a different tree. Finally, frustration forced me to give up and go forage for the evening meal. I couldn't come back empty-handed after being gone so long.
On my way back to camp with cress and seed pods, I spotted a rochin sitting in the path ahead of me. Usually, they were scampering up tree trunks or hiding in their branches. The fluffy, long-tailed animal must have found food, otherwise it would not be out in the open. I pulled my sling off and placed a stone in the pocket. I whirled the sling, fired, and missed. The rochin hopped off the path into the brush. I cursed, but was unsurprised at the outcome. I should have used my spear. Wrapping my sling back around my waist, I returned to our campsite.