Don't Fade. Breathe Easy. (TNT trilogy Book 3)

by Sarah Delany

  Sitting in human bio for the end of the week I say, “Should we have a sleepover tonight?” to Tate and Scott.

  “Sounds good to me,” Scott says, keeping his eyes on the board while he takes his notes down.

  I feel Tate’s hand squeeze my thigh as he says, “You know I’m always down for a sleepover,” which sends tingles over my skin. I smile down at my book as I’m sure he can feel the heat coming off my face. He always knows what to say or do to make me blush.

  I gather my lust filled thoughts of Tate and push them to the side and say, “I was thinking maybe you could help me study or point me in the right direction for my assignments please, Scott?” turning his way.

  His eyes light up at the unexpected question, “Sure, I’d love to T. If you need help too Tate, I’m more than happy to help you both get back on track.”

  “Thanks man, that would be great actually,” Tate says.

  “We could have a big study session before our usual movie marathons?” Scott suggests.

  “Sounds like a plan, Stan,” I say cheerily, which has Scott nudging me with his shoulder. A big smile across his face.

  The bell signalling the end of the day goes and everyone rushes to pack their bags and race out of class for the weekend. As I’m packing my own bag, Tate takes my hand and sharp paper edges poke into my palm. I open my hand to find a small white folded piece of paper. I glance at him as he looks down at me with an easy smile gracing his face. I peel it open and there in red ink is a big heart with the word ‘my’ above it and ‘belongs to you’ under it. I know my face is back to being a ruby red before my eyes even meet his.

  “And mine belongs to you,” I say, leaning up on tippy toes to deliver a chaste kiss on his lips. Back on my flat feet, we stare into each other’s eyes before Scott banging on the desk has us both jumping apart.

  “I swear you guys could stare at each other all day without blinking,” Scott’s amused voice says. We finish collecting our things and I carefully place Tate’s note in my skirt pocket before we walk out to meet JP by his car.

  He’s with Penny, leaning against his car so when we are closer I say, “Are you guys up for a sleepover? We are gonna do a big study session before any movies though,” filling them in on the plan.

  “I’m in,” Penny says, glancing at JP to hear his answer. He gets distracted by his phone which he pulls out of his pocket. Opening up what I’m guessing is a text, his eyes widen with a hint of a smile on his lips.

  Shaking off whatever the text said, he says, “Sure I’m in too,” before he leans in and whispers something in Penny’s ear before she nods at him. Tate and Scott take no notice of JP and Penny as they pile into the car and I follow, telling Penny I’ll see her soon.

  JP is distracted the whole journey home and we pass Scott’s street without him turning into it like we usually do. “Umm, JP you missed my street,” Scott says, glancing at JP from the passenger seat.

  “Oh, umm, that’s okay I need to go home first,” he mumbles, like his mind is somewhere else. I glance at Tate and he shrugs his shoulders, none the wiser about why JP is acting so strange. We pull up to JP’s house and he turns the car off and opens his door. “Out you guys get,” he tells us, which has us all looking at each other, clueless about what’s going on. It’s even more suspicious when Penny pulls her car up to park behind him and we wait for her to get out.

  “Don’t look at me, he just told me to follow you guys,” she says, shrugging her own shoulders. JP quickly leads us into his house and as soon as he opens his door, his face turns side on and I see the biggest smile I’ve ever seen cross his face as he dashes into his living room. We follow and then all stare in shock for a minute taking in JP wrapping his best friend in a big bear hug. Rafe.

  “Rafe,” I squeal, as my legs race to him, leaping into his arms as he pulls away from JP to catch me, swinging me around.

  “Hey, Petal,” he laughs, kissing me on the cheek before he places me on my feet again. He then hugs Scott, Tate and Penny while we all stare at him.

  “You’re back?” I timidly ask, my heart unsure if it sees Rafe or he’s a figment of my imagination. It’s been so long since we last saw him.

  “Yeah, I’m back. I’ve finished my time at Oakley House,” he tells us, as his and JP’s parents walk down the hallway to us. His parent’s beaming smiles look so different to the defeated looks they had the last time I saw them in the hospital.

  “We were gonna head over to Tamsyn’s for a sleepover and some studying. Are you able to come?” JP asks, his eyes flicking between Rafe and Rafe’s parents.

  Rafe looks to his parents for permission then his dad says, “That’s fine son. How about we take you home first and drop you over shortly?”

  “Sweet. I’ll meet you guys there,” Rafe says, and we all nod.

  “Tate, you wanna get ready then we can go?” JP says.

  “Yep, I’ll just jump in the shower,” he leans over, and kisses me on the head before he walks towards the bathroom.

  “I’ll head home first then meet you guys at Tamsyn’s too,” Penny says, as she waves goodbye and leaves. Rafe and his parents leave and I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness at watching him exit the house. It’s been so long since we’ve seen him and it’s like my heart doesn’t understand we will be seeing him shortly.

  Before I realise what I’m doing, I’m running out the front door.

  “Rafe?” I call, as he’s reaching the car with his parents. He turns at the sound of my voice and his smile drops once he sees my face. We both rush to each other and he wraps his arms around me.

  “I’m okay Petal. I’m really okay this time,” he whispers into my hair, knowing what I followed him out here for. I cling to him, worried if I let go he will disappear. A few minutes pass as we hold each other, needing this moment.

  As we break apart I ask, “You’re sure you’re okay now?”

  He tilts my chin up with his fist so he’s staring into my eyes, “I promise. And I won’t ever lie to you about it again. Deal?” he says.

  “Deal,” I reply.

  “Now get your butt back inside so I can head home and meet you guys at your house,” he says, with a slight smile on his face. I nod once as I turn my back on him and walk back inside.

  Scott is already seated on the couch so I join him to wait for Tate and JP. My eyes nearly bulge out of my head when Tate walks past moments later with a black towel wrapped around his waist. Droplets of water drip from his wet hair. More droplets run down his bare chest as he turns to us. I catch sight of the tattoo on his ribs which always makes me want to trace my fingers over it. When my eyes finally finish ogling him he smirks at me, winking before he opens his door and disappears behind it. When he reappears, he’s using his towel to dry his hair one handed while dressed in a red t-shirt and black basketball shorts.

  It isn’t long before JP joins us, his bright smile still plastered on his face from having his best friend home. We drive over to Scott’s and wait for him to get ready and then drive over to mine.

  “Don’t tell my mum yet guys. I want her to get surprised,” I tell them, before we enter the front door.

  “Hey Mum,” I yell out, and she comes out from the kitchen. Ever since Dad died she cut her hours down at work so she works school hours. No more late nights at the office for her.

  “Hey bub, are you guys having a sleepover?” she asks, knowing it’s our usual plan of action for a Friday night.

  “Yeah we are going to do some studying this time too,” I tell her proudly, and it has her smile widening.

  “That’s awesome to hear,” she says, looking at each of us.

  “Penny will be here soon. Can you let her in when she arrives please?” I ask Mum, as we all walk up the stairs to my room.

  “Of course. I’m just finishing off some baking so you guys can have a snack shortly,” she says, hea
ding back towards the kitchen.

  We enter my room and start pulling out our books and spreading them out. I slip my hand into my pocket, pulling out Tate’s note before I place it gently into my bedside table with the rest of the collection.

  “Bub, Penny is here,” Mum calls, and we race to the banister to see her reaction. It hasn’t been long enough for Penny to get ready so it must be Rafe. We quietly watch as Mum opens the door. Her hands shoot to her mouth to cover her shock as Rafe enters and wraps his arms around my mum. She squeezes him back and I can see the tears in her eyes as she looks up at him when he releases her.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” she says to him, as she cups his face with both hands.

  “Me too, Tanya,” he says, his own tears swimming in his eyes. He hugs her again.

  Mum must feel us watching as her eyes flick to us leaning over the banister and she says, “You knew?” accusing us and we crack up laughing.

  “Yeah, we just saw him at JP’s,” I say, as Rafe picks his bag up off the floor he had dropped and starts trekking up the stairs.

  “Well I’ll make some extra chocolate brownies or something,” she says, smiling as she disappears to the kitchen again, knowing brownies are Rafe’s favourite.

  Penny arrives half an hour later and Rafe fills us in on his time at Oakley House. We all settle into our school work, all working on different subjects but Scott helps where he can. We decide to try and keep this study group going twice a week at least so we can all catch up on work. Rafe’s teachers were sending his work to his parents so he was able to get all his work done while at Oakley House so at least he isn’t behind. One less thing to worry about.

  Mum calls us down to try her baking after we’d been studying a while. She’s gone all out for Rafe’s surprise homecoming. She has made brownies, cupcakes, shortbread and even a massive quiche for us to share. After we gorge on everything delicious, we head back upstairs and decide to set up the mattresses before we continue with the studying. Scott is in charge and cracking the whip while keeping us on task. I have put his birthday present to use and now all his notes he’d photocopied for me are all neatly arranged and color coordinated. It makes it a lot easier to keep track of everything now.

  After working so hard on our school work, we reward ourselves with a movie.

  “Rafe, you can pick tonight,” I call to him, from my spot on the bed with Tate.

  Rafe scans through the movies until he comes across one he likes. He clicks on ‘Love and Basketball’. So we all snuggle down to get comfortable and enjoy the movie.

  “Do you think he’s okay?” I whisper to Tate, while my chin rests on his bare chest and he gazes down at me. One hand tucked under his head while the other is aimlessly rubbing up and down my back.

  “I hope so. It’s hard to tell with him, you know?” he whispers back.

  “Yeah I know.” He leans forward and plants a kiss against my forehead and then pulls back to look at me.

  “We’ll keep an eye on him. Don’t worry, Sweetness,” he says, so I turn my attention back to the movie and try to focus on what’s happening on the screen.

  It feels like five minutes later and I’m being shaken awake.

  “Petal, wake up,” which has me waking up gasping for air, trying to calm myself after my latest nightmare.

  “Rafe?” I ask, not believing he’s in front of me for a second.

  “Yeah it’s me. You okay?” he asks.

  “Yeah, just a dream,” I tell him. I peek over to Tate who is still fast asleep, his gentle snores filling the air.

  “Wanna come downstairs and talk for a bit?” Rafe asks, so I nod and follow him down the stairs to the living room couch. The exact same spot I once talked to Tate after his nightmare.

  When we are seated, I grab a cushion and hold it in my lap, needing something to squeeze tightly.

  “Are you really okay?” I ask Rafe, and he twists his body so he’s facing me, tucking one leg under himself.

  “It’s probably going to be a while before I’m completely okay. At Oakley House, they said there’s not really a timeline for how these things go. I’ll probably still have my good days and bad days but now, I know how to manage them,” he tells me.

  “And you’re on medication too?” I ask, as he’d mentioned it before but I didn’t want to pry with everyone else around.

  “Antidepressants. And they’re helping. It took me a couple different tries to find the right one but I think this one is the best one for me, so we will see how it goes,” he tells me, with a small shoulder shrug.

  “You promise you’ll tell us if things are getting bad again though?” I ask him, squeezing the cushion tighter.

  “Definitely. If I’ve learnt one thing from Oakley House it’s that I can’t keep everything bottled in . It’s alright to lean on other people,” he tells me. “Now do you want to tell me what the nightmare was about?” he asks, raising one eyebrow.

  I let out a long sigh, wringing my hands together because I don’t want him to feel bad but he continues to stare at me, waiting ever so patiently so I cave and tell him the truth.

  “It was about the night I found you in the water. They are always about that night,” I confess, lowering my eyes to the couch.

  “Do you have nightmares a lot?” he asks, sadly.

  “Not very often now.”

  “I’m sorry that I caused them Petal. And I’m sorry you had to go through that for me,” he says, trying to look into my eyes which I still have lowered. He puts his fist under my chin, lifting my eyes to his. “I’m not sorry that you saved me though. I will forever be grateful for that,” a small smile lifts up the corner of his lips.

  “I’m glad I got there in time,” I tell him, with silent tears streaming down my face. He lifts me into his arms, as we bury our faces in the other’s neck as he soothes my sobs.

  “Thank you,” he whispers, into the quiet air.

  I lean back and we stare into each other’s eyes. Footsteps on the stairs have me looking up to Tate with worry on his face.

  “Everything okay?” he asks, as he steps closer.

  “Yeah, I just had a nightmare and Rafe woke me up and then we came down here to talk,” I tell him, as he takes a spot next to Rafe and holds out his arms. I move off Rafe’s lap and into Tate’s and rest my ear against his chest while his chin sits on the top of my head.

  “You good?”

  “Yeah,” Rafe and I both reply, which makes us all laugh.

  “I’m gonna head back to bed,” Rafe says, standing up then he gives us a small smile before disappearing up the stairs. Tate’s hand rubs my back as I lift my head to look into his eyes.

  “You still having nightmares?” he asks .

  Letting out a sigh I say, “Yeah, I think seeing Rafe again triggered another one is all,” as I wrap my arms tightly around his waist, squeezing him tight.

  “Hopefully knowing that he is okay will help settle them a bit,” he says, trying to comfort me. “You wanna head back to bed?”

  “Let’s go,” I say, taking his hand and walking up the stairs with him. Once in bed I snuggle up to his chest, resting my ear over his heartbeat and let the thumping beat settle my soul and soothe me to sleep.

  -- Tate --

  As I lie in bed with Tamsyn, her body relaxes and I know she’s finally asleep. I let my thoughts wander. My first thought when I saw her in Rafe’s arm was jealousy. I know they are just friends but it’s still hard to not let emotions like jealousy spark when you see your girl in the arms of another guy. Even if he is one of your best friends.

  I’m glad Rafe is back and seems better. Nothing could have wiped the smile off JP’s face tonight and that alone was worth it. I’ve been worried about him since Rafe left to get help. I’ll have to keep checking in with Rafe too to make sure he’s doing okay. And Tamsyn too for that matter. I wish her min
d would settle in her sleep. She said she hadn’t had a nightmare for a while so I’m hoping they aren’t resurfacing. It’s the last thing she needs, especially when she is finally getting back on track at school. With my mind racing with thoughts, it takes me a while to fall back asleep but when sleep finally comes, it is a welcome break from the swirling in my head.

  On Saturday we decide to go over to Penny’s house for a swim since Rafe is back. Surprisingly her parents are home so we get to meet them briefly before they head out for lunch and leave us to take over the pool. Rafe’s presence has lightened the mood and everyone is so much happier now that he’s back. It’s amazing how when one person is missing from the group that you notice their absence immensely. And then once they return it settles something, like all is right in the world again.

  It’s now Monday morning and we have human bio. Walking hand in hand with Tamsyn, we enter the classroom and take our seats with Scott. The rest of the students file in and fill their seats too while Ms. Chadwick is writing on the whiteboard, getting the class ready. With my eyes on the door, I see Rafe push it open and his face lights up when he catches sight of us.

  “Hey guys,” his loud voice booms through the class, which has Ms. Chadwick whipping around where she stands.

  “Rafe?” she questions with shock, her eyes glued to the larger than life presence which is Rafe.

  He turns towards her when he hears his name saying, “Hey Miss,” in a quieter voice. I glance at my teacher and catch the shimmer of unshed tears glossing over her eyes before she shakes her head.

  “It’s nice to see you back,” she tells him, smiling.

  “It’s nice to be back,” he replies, as he gives her a knowing nod, acknowledging the unspoken words. Rafe knows his parents filled in the principal and in turn, the staff got told about Rafe’s circumstances. He takes his seat next to Scott while Ms. Chadwick continues on with writing on the board. He lowers his head, eyes on his desk.