by Sarah Delany
I hear Scott ask, “You okay man?” quietly.
“Yeah, it’s just I didn’t realise how many people were affected by me, you know? Everyone I’ve seen since I got back, who knows what happened, has looked just like that. Tears in their eyes like they are holding in their relief that I’m here in the flesh. Even people who don’t know what happened are happy to see me,” he says, his brow furrowed in thought.
“It just shows how much you were missed and are loved, man. And how many people you affect without realising it,” I tell him, hoping he can see how many people’s lives would have been affected if he wasn’t here anymore. I don’t want him to ever get to that low point again where he believes he is alone in this world.
His eyes look up to glance at Tamsyn who is looking over her notes, not paying attention to our conversation.
“I’m lucky, that’s for sure,” he says, and I can see in his eyes the gratefulness he has for Tamsyn for saving him that night. He doesn’t look at her with desire in his eyes like I do. So it settles my little ball of jealousy I had burning in the back of my mind. Tamsyn and the guys might be close but they don’t care about each other the way she and I do. The thought has me squeezing her thigh, gaining her attention.
“What was that for?” she asks, smiling.
“I love you,” I whisper, kissing her cheek before Ms. Chadwick starts the lesson.
Chapter 17
-- Tamsyn --
Friday comes far too quickly and everyone has plans. Rafe has a therapy session and Penny informed me that she and JP are going on a date. She said it’s still early days so they want to be sure before they say anything to the group. I don’t think they have any need to hide it but each to their own I guess. Since everyone else said they are busy, Scott said he was going to stay in and do some studying. So that leaves Tate and I.
“Do you wanna come hang out at mine tonight?” I ask Tate, as I sit next to him in the car on the way home.
His smile shines my way as he replies, “That’s my favourite thing to do. I’ll head home and change then come straight over.” Pressing a swift kiss to my temple, I can’t help but smile myself.
The guys drop me off and as I enter the front door I’m greeted by my mum rushing past yelling, “Hi, bub.”
“What’s got you running around and so dressed up?” I ask, looking my mum up and down as I take in her black and white maxi dress and high heels.
As she’s hooking an earring into her earlobe she says, “I forgot the company has an awards dinner tonight and everyone has to go. Is the gang coming over for a sleepover tonight?”
“No, everyone is busy but Tate so he’s going to come hang out,” I tell her, as I turn to walk up the stairs. Threading her other earring in, she follows me. She grabs her purse hanging on the stair rail, takes out some cash and hands it to me.
“Okay, can you two order some dinner then? It’s a dinner and drinks thing so I will probably be late home.”
“Yeah no worries Mum. You aren’t driving, are you?” I ask, turning to her before I head through my open bedroom door.
“I was planning to, why?” she asks, with a raised brow.
“Why don’t you catch an Uber and have some drinks Mum. Might be nice to have a night to relax you know,” I tell her. Mum and Dad always used to go out for dinner and drinks once a month but since he passed the most Mum has done is go out to the movies. I haven’t seen her let her hair down in all the time that’s passed since his death.
“You think so?” she asks, as she bites her lower lip, considering it.
“I know so. Go have fun Mum. I’ll be fine with Tate. Enjoy yourself,” I tell her, which has her smile shining.
“Okay then. I’ll order an Uber now,” she says, walking down the hall to her bedroom. I get into my bedroom, put my bag down and place the cash on my bedside table.
She rushes back in a few minutes later as I’m getting ready to go to the shower.
“The Uber is nearly here bub, so I’m off. I’ll see you later. If you need me, just give me a ring,” she informs me, kissing my head as she takes off down the stairs.
“Have fun Mum,” I yell after her. I hurry through my shower, trying to get finished before Tate arrives. Wrapping myself in a fluffy towel, I head to my room but am stopped by the knocking on the front door. I race down the stairs and fling it open, greeted by a smiling Tate, his recently washed hair dripping on his t-shirt. His eyes peruse me in my towel as I take a step back, letting him in.
“You caught me as I was heading to my room,” I tell him, as I turn my back to him, knowing he will follow. The sound of the door closing has me looking over my shoulder, catching Tate gazing at my bare legs. His eyes meet mine with a twinkle at being caught and he quickens his steps, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in close for a hug before letting go. “Mum has gone out to a work event for the night, so it’s just us,” I tell him, as we trek up the stairs.
“Oh really,” he says, taking his usual spot on my bed. Hands behind his head, keeping his eyes trained on me. A blush creeps over my whole body as he lies there taking me in. Time stands still as we gaze at each other, my heart galloping in my chest. He finally breaks the silence, “Come here, Sweetness.” With timid steps I walk next to the bed as he reaches out his hand for me to take. He pulls me to straddle his lap and I instantly become more aware of the fact I’m naked under my towel. I wriggle on his lap trying to get comfortable but Tate grabs my hips, shifting me into place.
“You’re killing me Sweetness,” he softly says, as I feel his hardness growing underneath me. He shifts my loose hair back over my shoulder. “Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?” he softly asks, his eyes trained on my hair he just moved.
“Not in the last ten minutes you haven’t,” I say giggling, which makes him smile wider.
“Cheeky now, aren’t you?” he playfully taunts, as he tickles my sides which has me laughing harder. I try to roll away from him to escape the torture but it’s no use, he’s too strong.
“Don’t Tate,” I laugh louder, as he continues to exploit my weakness. In my haste to get away, I end up under him as he hovers above me. As we both realise the position we are in, the laughter stops and electric energy fills the air. Tate leans forward delivering a line of kisses along my collarbone which has my breath hitching as I close my eyes. He nudges the piece of the best friend’s necklace he got me with his nose. His own half of the necklace dangles from around his neck. Neither of us have taken them off since he gave it to me. His lips move slowly up my neck until they touch my own, savouring me. I wrap my arms around his neck pulling me closer. Needing more.
Losing ourselves in the kiss, he whips his t-shirt off one handed. Granting me access to his bare chest, I lower my hands rubbing it over his smooth skin, which ignites a masculine groan from him. As I stare into his eyes I realise I don’t want to wait anymore. I’m ready to be with Tate.
“I don’t wanna wait anymore,” I tell him, which has him freezing on top of me.
“Are you sure?” he asks, searching my eyes for answers. I nod in reply.
“I’m ready,” I tell him, as I unhook my towel letting it unravel, exposing my naked body to him fully. His eyes soak every inch of me in as he leans back on his heels.
“Hold on,” he says, as he hops off the bed making me question what he’s doing. He walks to my bedroom door, and before I can cover myself he closes the door and turns to me with a shy smile. “It felt weird with the door open,” he says, shrugging his shoulders as he comes back to me. He unzips his jeans and peels them off, so he stands before me in his red boxers. Never once letting his eyes leave mine. I lift my hips and pull the towel free, letting it fall to the floor. I watch his adam’s apple as he visibly gulps, before sliding back on top of me.
“We can stop at any time, just tell me, okay?” he says, sweetly.
“Okay,”
I reply, as I cup his cheek. One side of his lips lift with a lopsided smile as he starts trailing kisses down my neck towards my breasts, taking first one nipple into his mouth then the other. Moving further south his gentle kisses brush the skin of my stomach as his body moves backwards until he’s dragging me to the end of the bed which has me laughing. “Tate?” I question, with a giggle in my voice unsure what he’s up to. I lean up on my forearms staring at him as he kneels on the floor. “What are you doing?” I ask.
“You trust me?” he asks, holding my gaze.
“Yeah,” I reply.
“You ever had anyone go down on you before?” he asks, and I can feel my cheeks heat as I shake my head.
“Have you ever done it before?” I ask him, and his own cheeks darken as she shakes his head.
“I want to now though,” he tells me. I push my self conscious thoughts aside and nod wanting to experience this with him. “Just relax,” he says, as he gently pushes my knees apart. He grabs my butt cheeks and pulls me right to the end of the bed. “Every inch of you is beautiful,” I barely hear him say, as I lie my head back down.
All my senses are on high alert as the anticipation builds up. I feel his warm breath on my inner thigh as he delivers a kiss to one leg and then the other. His fingers open me up and then his firm tongue swipes my whole center. My head is thrown back against the bed from the feeling. His tongue licks at my sensitive bud, causing more sensations to flood through me as I release a moan. I vaguely register a chuckle from him as he continues his movements with his tongue.
“Can I put a finger in?” he asks.
I all but yell, “Yes,” in reply as my body takes over my thoughts. As his finger penetrates my body, my hips buckle against the sensations as his tongue continues devouring me. Moving his finger in and out he slowly adds a second, stretching me. I feel the pulsing start in my lower belly and before I know it, I’m exploding with quiet moans as my body shakes. I peek down at him, my body relaxed as his grinning face comes into view.
“Good?” he asks, and I can’t help my own smile.
“Amazing,” I tell him, as he crawls back on top of me. He kisses me and I taste myself on him and it drives me to kiss him deeper, knowing we shared something so intimate. “Get a condom out of the bedside table,” I tell him, breaking the kiss.
“You’re sure? We can stop if you want,” he tells me.
“I’m sure. I want you Tate. All of you,” he smiles, kissing my forehead before getting up. He rustles around in the brown bag of condoms pulling one out. He pulls his boxers all the way down and my eyes zone in on the sight of him. It’s my turn to gulp at his hard length. I’m not sure how it’s all supposed to fit inside me.
He must read my mind because he says, “If most people in the world are doing it, it’s gotta fit, right?” and I can’t help but laugh. He always knows what to say to calm my thoughts. “Do you wanna help with this?” he asks, holding up the condom between two fingers. I sit up and grab it as he takes a seat next to me. I rip it open and together we figure out the right way for it to go on and then lower it down. He hisses out of his lips, eyes closed and I get lost in watching how my touch affects him.
We move back with me lying under him again and get lost in kissing each other. He swipes his fingers across my nipples so I do the same to him, making his kisses greedier.
He breaks the kiss, “You ready?” he asks, and I nod. I widen my legs as he lines himself up with my centre. He slowly eases himself in and I watch as his eyes close, his breathing speeds up. Feeling full, he keeps going until I feel a burn and my body stiffens. His eyes open, looking at me. “You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah it just burns, but it’s what I’ve been told to expect. Keep going and kiss me,” I tell him, which has his lips touching mine as he pushes further in, the burn intensifying. I release his mouth, steadying my breaths as I adjust to him being inside me. He holds himself still with his forehead pressed to mine. “Move,” I tell him. His eyes stare into mine as he slides himself out and then back in. The burn has lessened and feels better the more he moves.
“You feel so good, Sweetness, I don’t think I’ll last much longer,” he tells me.
“That’s okay. Let go,” I tell him, as I cup his cheek again. “I love you,” I whisper.
“I love you too, baby,” he replies, kissing my lips as his movements quicken and then he drops his head into the crook of my neck as his groans fill the air, his body shuddering. The sounds of our erratic breathing fill the air as we stay still. He shifts himself to look into my eyes with a lazy smile on his lips. “You okay?” he asks.
“I’m perfect,” I tell him. Delivering a chaste kiss to my lips, he slowly pulls himself out of me and I feel the loss of him. He removes the condom and ties it off before dropping it to the floor. He pulls me into his chest and holds me close.
“How are you feeling?” he asks me, and I have to think for a second to get my thoughts in order.
“It’s weird. I feel the same but different all at the same time,” I tell him, as my shaking hand runs down his chest. He notices the shake and grabs my hand, frowning.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I? Why are you shaking?” he asks, worry lacing his voice as he searches my eyes.
“I think it’s just the shock of not being a virgin anymore. It’s a big thing, you know?” I tell him, because I don’t know how else to explain it. “I don’t want you thinking it wasn’t amazing because it was,” I tell him, knowing without a doubt I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
“I’m glad I waited for my green fairy,” he sweetly tells me, and I smile up at him feeling a full heart.
“I’m glad I waited for you too,” I tell him, which has a bright smile lighting up his face. My shaking hands finally stop the longer I stay wrapped in his embrace.
-- Tate --
“How about we go have a shower after I order some pizza?” I ask her, which she agrees with.
I quickly ring and order pizza before I pick her up in my arms, carrying her laughing into the bathroom. With her legs wrapped tightly around my naked body, I can’t help but feel I never want to be without this girl. We’ve been through so much to get here. I want to continue on this way forever.
I feel so satisfied after having sex and it felt a million times better than getting off with my hand. It’s like a piece of me has been taken by this wonderful girl and I don’t ever want it back if I get to keep the memory of what just happened with me forever. I turn the shower on and when it’s warmed up, I push us both under the spray.
I push her wet hair out of her smiling face, and take her lips with mine, letting the water run over both of us. After a while, I place her on her feet and pump some body wash into my hands before smoothing it all over her. She does the same to me and I can’t help the obvious hardening of my erection her touch causes.
“Just ignore him,” I tell her, as her eyes gaze at me and we both laugh. I finish cleaning myself and she does the same. I notice she winces as she runs body wash over herself.
“You alright?” I ask, worried.
“Yeah, just stings a bit is all.” I gather her close as she rests her head on my chest.
After a few minutes of standing there in each other’s embrace I say, “Come on we better go, pizza will be here soon.” I grab towels for us both and we dry off then head back to the room. Tamsyn puts on a tank top and sleep shorts while I put my boxers back on.
“I better put this in the bin. It would’ve been awkward if Mum walked in and saw it,” she says, holding up the condom and wrapper we left on the floor for anyone to see. My smile beams at her while she hides the evidence in the rubbish bin. My gaze moves to the dishevelled sheets and I notice a spot of blood on them.
“Sweetness, are you sure you’re okay? Look,” I say, pointing at the evidence on her bed which has her cheeks turning pink.
“That’s quite normal.
A lot of girls bleed their first time,” she tells me. “Can you help me change them?” she asks, and she throws the duvet on the floor and starts unhooking the fitted sheet to change. I jump into action and start pulling it off with her then she takes it to the laundry and returns with a clean sheet, which we put on together. The knocking on the front door has me running down the stairs to get the pizza, which I meet her in the kitchen with.
“You know what, how about we just take the food up in the box and eat in bed?” she suggests, so I grab some soda cans out of the fridge and follow her while she carries the food. Getting comfortable on the bed, we flick a movie on and dive into the pizza, both of us having gained an appetite from our workout.
She’s quiet while we eat and is lost in her thoughts which makes me nervous.
“You don’t regret it, do you Sweetness?” I quietly ask her, my gaze suddenly interested in the duvet. She pushes the pizza box out of the way and crawls into my lap, wrapping her arm and legs tightly around me.
“Of course I don’t regret it. Sorry I’m so quiet, I’m just lost in my head is all,” she tells me.
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask.
Her face darkens before she says, “Do you think anyone is going to be able to tell we aren’t virgins anymore?” and I can’t help but chuckle.
“I doubt it. Can you tell who has had sex and who hasn’t just by looking at them?” I ask, trying to lighten the mood which makes her smile.
“No I guess not,” she concedes.
“So nothing to worry about. Just don’t be jumping my bones every minute of every day and no one will know,” I say, laughing louder as she playfully swats at my chest.
“I see you think very highly of yourself, don’t you?” she taunts.
“Well next time I’ll last longer,” I tell her, staring into her eyes.
“I didn’t even notice how long it was. It was perfect to me,” she softly says, kissing my lips which makes my heart sigh. I was worried I had finished too fast as it felt so good inside her I couldn’t hold back any longer. I quickly kiss her forehead then move her to snuggle into my chest as we watch the movie. I double check the door is wide open so her mum doesn’t get suspicious when she gets home and then relax. Before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep, feeling a peace I haven’t felt for a long time.