by Jenika Snow
“Are you happy?” I asked, wanting to hear her say it, my bear needing it as much as my human side did.
She turned in my arms so she could see me fully, cupped the side of my face, and leaned in close. “More than you’ll ever know,” she whispered against my lips.
The children started making disgusted sounds, as if seeing their parents show affection was just too much of a bother.
I grinned like a fool.
One day they’d find their mates and know exactly what it was like to be complete. Until then I’d protect and care for all four of them, my children and my mate … my whole fucking world.
Because without them there was no forever.
The End
Maddix’s story, BEARly Mated to the Grizzly (Bear Clan, 2), is coming soon!
TBR: https://bit.ly/2TdsbMz
THE BEARLY MATED GRIZZLY (Bear Clan, 2)
By Jenika Snow
www.JenikaSnow.com
[email protected]
Copyright © January 2019 by Jenika Snow
First E-book Publication: January 2019
Photographer: Wander Aguiar
Cover model: Josh Mario
Cover photo provided by: Wander Bookclub
Editor: Kasi Alexander
Proofreader: Read by Rose
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED: The unauthorized reproduction, transmission, or distribution of any part of this copyrighted work is illegal. Criminal copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to five years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.
This literary work is fiction. Any name, places, characters and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or establishments is solely coincidental.
Please respect the author and do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials that would violate the author’s rights.
I’d once been a great dancer. A ballerina. But an injury ended my career, had me longing to go back in time, had me loathing the city and the very profession I’d once loved.
So, I decided to get away from it all, go out in the middle of nowhere to clear my head, and focus on what was important.
Things were going great until a bear was at my back door, trying to get in. And it ended with me wielding a knife for protection and realizing it wasn’t just any bear, but a shifter who claimed to be my mate.
Maddix.
Strong and powerful, his very presence had me questioning my entire existence. The mating was fast and furious, potent and real. It was everything I ever wanted, and everything I never thought I’d have.
It was all wrapped in one whirlwind, insta-lust experience.
But could I give myself over fully to Maddix? Could I truly leave the city and the life I’d always known behind?
Could I do it all for the promise of love from one possessive, territorial bear shifter who would do anything to make me happy?
Because if there was one thing Maddix made very clear, it was now that he had found me, he wasn’t letting me go.
Chapter One
Allison
This was better than sex, or so I assumed given the fact I’d never actually had sex. But I could imagine the pleasure I felt right now was how fucking would be ... just sweatier, or maybe not.
I closed my eyes and danced to the music, ballet my life at one point and time.
It had been until I’d lost everything to one horrible moment, one second of fate.
I focused on the music, on my moves, even though agony screamed through me. I was fluid, like water, like air. Nothing else mattered.
Too bad my career was over and all I had left of my ballet profession was a busted ankle and a dream that would never turn into something more.
Too bad my days were spent teaching others the art, my passion, knowing I’d never be able to live the dream they were experiencing. I was bitter, and I hated that I’d become like that. I hated that the spark of life had left me, that I was this jealous has-been that longed to be someone else, to go back in time.
That wasn’t my life now.
And I needed to accept that.
The music ended and I stopped, opening my eyes and slowly uncurling my body from the graceful position.
Across from me was the mirror that went from one wall to the end of the other. The woman staring back at me was dressed in all black, my leotard, my tights, even my shoes the same dark color. My hair was tied in a severe bun, dots of perspiration lining my temples as I breathed heavily.
I’d been dancing for the past hour, trying to get to my happy place, the one moment in time where nothing else mattered.
I turned away from my reflection and looked at the empty room. I could remember vividly being in a room just like this, dancing, training professionally.
That seemed like a lifetime ago now.
My ankle screamed in pain, but it did every week when I danced, when I rented out the room so I could dance for this one hour, relive my past glory days.
I sat down and started untying the ribbon on my shoes, pulling them off and tossing them aside. I rubbed my hand over my ankle, which was starting to swell. The injury I’d sustained had done some serious damage, worse than the doctors had originally thought.
I’d made a beautiful jump one night during a performance, but the landing had gone wrong, sending me to the floor. It had cost me everything.
No more ballet.
No more career.
That happened a year ago, the healing pretty much done, but I would always have lasting damage, always have this pain.
The doctors had frowned upon me coming here every week for this hour to practice, but it was not something I was going to give up. I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that being in the city, surrounded by all the memories of what I once had, didn’t eat away at me.
“I’m sorry, Allison, but with an injury this bad, and the lasting effects, there’s no way we can keep you on at the dance academy as a performer. It wouldn’t be fair to you, or anyone on the waitlist. I hope you can understand.”
I thought about the last thing my instructor had told me right before I resigned as a performer. Even thinking about that now, all this time later, broke my heart.
But I supposed there was a silver lining to it all. I might have lost my dancing career, but I’d secured a teaching position at the studio as a replacement opportunity.
My friends, who ran in the same dance circles, were also a constant reminder of what I didn’t have anymore.
Maybe teaching would help get my mind off things?
I snorted at my inner thoughts.
I was a glutton for punishment.
I just needed to get away for a little bit, to clear my head, to give myself a break.
I packed up all my stuff, changed my clothes quickly, and left the dance building. Winter was on full blast in the city, the wind whipping around like little knives being thrown at you. I hailed a cab and shut the door behind me once I was in the backseat.
“West 23rd and 18th, please.” I looked out the window as the taxi driver pulled into the traffic. Although the holidays were last month, the city was always packed with tourists and the hustle and bustle of everyone trying to get where they were going as fast as they could.
I sat back and for the next twenty minutes watched as city life flashed by.
When the driver pulled up to my apartment building, I paid him and climbed out, hurrying into the building as the frigid temperatures bit at every exposed piece of skin. Once inside, I shut the door and leaned against it, staring at my tiny apartment, one that was slightly depressing because of the lack of décor, and because I was alone. Not even a houseplant to keep me company.
Although in my defense, it was probably better not to have anything living, as I was horrible at keeping things watered.
And as I stood there and stared at everything—or lack thereof— I found my depression setting in.
My bare walls.
<
br /> The lone cup and plate in the sink.
The fact there was … nothing in here.
I knew what I wanted to do, what I had to do for my own sanity.
I needed to get away, to clear my head and find my center. I needed to find a new way of life, but I couldn’t do that in the city, not with all the traffic, the congestion, the suffocation. I needed to go far enough away where there was just wilderness, open land, and fresh air.
So it was settled. I’d find a place in the middle of nowhere and get myself some much-needed R&R.
Chapter Two
Maddix
I shoved a few water bottles in my pack, some trail mix, and a few pieces of fruit. I had my tent, all the supplies that I’d need for a few days, and already started to feel a little bit of the weight leave me.
I did this hike every weekend, stayed in the middle of the woods, cleared my head, and got away from everyone and everything. It had me in the heart of the mountains, where my bear felt the freest.
It was the only thing—at this point—that gave me a moment where I wasn’t losing my fucking mind.
I headed out of my cabin, stepped off the porch, and made my way toward the back property. I’d made this path over the years, the ground worn from my footsteps, from my journey. There was a cave about two hours from the cabin, one that held a small waterfall.
Sitting in front of that waterfall had me connecting with the earth, with myself. It allowed my bear to come forth and just … breathe.
Because at this stage in my life it was all I had.
I had family, my brothers. I had the cabin I’d built with my bare hands, the property that gave me privacy. But it wasn’t enough.
I used this time to really find out who I was. And so, I did this not just for myself, but to help clear my head, to tell myself that one day I would find my mate, that she was out there. But it was hard being optimistic, feeling like life would finally be complete, that the puzzle pieces would all fall in place.
With Zakari now mated and happy, his other soul, the other piece of his life found, I wanted to be happy for my brother. I wanted to help him celebrate and be joyous that he’d finally found his female. But a part of me, one that was selfish, a bastard, was jealous. And I hated myself for that.
I hated the fact that I couldn’t be one hundred percent happy for a member of my family. We all had waited so long, were still waiting, and so another part of me took this hike every week to help realize that it was okay for me to be a little upset and withdrawn.
It was okay for me to be envious of my brother and what he had, what I might never have.
Although my mate was out there, it wasn’t a guarantee that I’d find her. Some shifters never found their other halves, and fucking hell did that suck. To go through life wanting one essential thing and never having it. But I’d search for her, go to the ends of the earth, keep looking, hoping that I’d find her.
And that’s all I could do. Hope.
But I would fucking find her. I would.
And when I did find her, there was no going back, no stopping me. I’d claim her and I’d do it hard, fast, so she knew that there was no escaping. I wouldn’t let her go. I wouldn’t be easy and gentle. She’d see the full force of what it meant to be mated to a bear shifter, one who’d waited his whole damn life to find his mate.
My bear stirred, rose up as if an angry wave crashed to the surface. He was ready. He’d been ready.
I felt all that need, all that possession slam into me.
A virgin grizzly shifter, saving himself for his mate, not even able to get hard for another fucking female. And that’s exactly how I wanted it to be. I only wanted her … whoever she was, wherever she was.
And I hoped she was ready for me, for everything I had for her. Because a lifetime of pent-up arousal was one wild fucking thing.
Chapter Three
Allison
The SUV I’d rented for the week was packed full of supplies: food and water, batteries and flashlights. I had no clue what the hell people up in the mountains needed, so I’d brought pretty much my entire apartment.
I was ready for my week away from everything, just to regroup and re-coop, and hopefully figure out what I was going to do with my life. My savings, coupled with helping instruct some of the younger dancers, had been floating me this whole time, but was this really what I wanted to do with my life? Did I really want to be surrounded by up-and-coming dancers, knowing they had a bright future ahead of them, and realizing that this was the end of the road for me?
God, I’m so damn bitter and I hate that about myself.
I pulled to the side of the road and grabbed my phone. The GPS had led me the majority of the way here, but the mountains that surrounded me had stripped the signal. No Wi-Fi, no incoming or outgoing calls. Nothing.
This was exactly what I needed.
I reached in my purse and pulled out a map, an actual legit paper trifold map. This day and age it seemed these were almost vintage. Opening it up, I found where I was, and reached for a marker in my purse to mark where I needed to go still. I was closer than I’d thought. Maybe another ten minutes tops until I’d reach the little one-room cabin where I would be spending the rest of the week.
Setting the map on the passenger side seat, I pulled back onto the road and started driving. Before too long I entered the small mountain town. I went well below the speed limit as I looked at everything passing by. It reminded me of an old Western town, with cobblestone sidewalks on either side of me, little, quaint shops lining the road, and people who knew everything about everyone.
A few people stopped what they were doing to look at me, the obvious stranger in their little, intimate village.
I’d never felt more like an outsider than I did right now.
I faced forward and released the breath I hadn’t known I’d been holding once I finally got out of the square of town. I glanced at the map a couple more times, finally finding the right dirt road that would lead me to my little cabin.
The place I’d rented wasn’t deep in the woods or anything, instead close enough to town that if I needed supplies, I could easily get them. Besides, I wasn’t a mountain girl, and the very idea of wild animals right at the back door scared the shit out of me.
Another five minutes on the bumpy, uneven dirt road, and I finally saw the cabin. I’d found it on one of those rental websites, and although I’d never done anything like this before, I was looking forward to being out here by myself and clearing my head.
I pulled the SUV to a stop in front of the cabin and cut the engine. I climbed out, stretching my back from the several hours of driving, and left the supplies in the car as I headed up the front porch to the door. I could see a lockbox hanging from the handle, and after entering the code the owner had given me, I pulled the key out and unlocked the door.
The scent of artificial pine instantly slammed into me, as if they had one of those plug-in things somewhere in this place. The curtains were drawn, a red and plaid design that went with the whole exposed wood and wilderness decor going on.
Although I’d seen pictures of the interior on the website, I knew well enough not to totally go off of those given the fact people tended to post the best images in the post positions. But I was pleasantly surprised that it was just as cute and quaint as I’d hoped it would be.
One large room made up the entire cabin. There was a small loft that held the bed, but aside from that everything was on the lower level. A small kitchen to my left, the dining room and living room combined into one to my right. And then across the room, looking through the open doorway, I saw the tiniest bathroom I’d ever seen.
I took the next five minutes to just walk around, familiarize myself with everything, and already felt some of the stress from the city melting away. I stepped back out on the porch and started walking the perimeter of it, loving that it went around the entire cabin. I leaned against the railing, staring at the thick trees that surrounded me. I heard the sound of
birds chirping, of little critters running in the forest. I could get used to this, and I had only been here a few moments.
Perfection.
I could only imagine how I’d feel after a week. Because right now my mind felt clearer, my body more relaxed.
I heard something far larger moving around in the forest, and straightened from the banister, peering through the thick shadows, trying to look farther than where the sun penetrated the branches. Whatever was out there was running now, the sound of branches snapping, of brush being pushed around, echoing loud, and it seemed a hell of a lot closer.
But even though I didn’t know what was out there, lurking, waiting, I didn’t feel fear. In fact, as strange as it was, despite the fact I’d only been here for a few moments, this felt like home.
This felt like exactly where I was supposed to be.
Chapter Four
Maddix
I was close to the site where I’d set up camp, my body working up a sweat the higher I ascended the mountain. Already I felt some of the tension leave me, although I’d never fully get rid of it, not until she came into my life.
I loved my family, was happy that Zakari had found his mate. But jealousy ate at me, and I hated that about myself. That wasn’t who I was, wasn’t who I wanted to be. And so, getting away was the only thing I could do to try and tame the wildness inside of me.
And although it helped marginally, it wasn’t a cure. The only thing that would fully help, fully control the raging beast that was housed inside of me, was my mate.
When I finally got to my destination, I pulled my pack off and set it on the ground. Already, my bear was itching to come out, to run free. If I was smart, I would’ve set up camp for the night first, but my inner animal was too restless, too untamed in this moment.