Copyright
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Text and illustrations copyright © 2019 by Neil Patrick Harris.
Story illustrations by Lissy Marlin. How-To illustrations by Kyle Hilton.
Cover art by Lissy Marlin. Cover design by Karina Granda. Cover art copyright © 2019 by Neil Patrick Harris. Cover copyright © 2019 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.
Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.
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First Edition: September 2019
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Harris, Neil Patrick, 1973–author. | Azam, Alec, author. | Marlin, Lissy, illustrator. | Hilton, Kyle, illustrator.
Title: The magic misfits : the minor third / by Neil Patrick Harris & Alec Azam ; story artistry by Lissy Marlin ; how-to magic art by Kyle Hilton.
Description: First edition. | New York ; Boston : Little, Brown and Company, 2019. | Series: Magic Misfits ; 3 | Summary: New member Emily helps the Magic Misfits when a ventriloquist with a dastardly plan comes to town.
Identifiers: LCCN 2019005697| ISBN 9780316391870 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780316391900 (ebook) | ISBN 9780316391917 (library edition ebook)
Subjects: | CYAC: Magic tricks—Fiction. | Orphans—Fiction. | Ventriloquism—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | Gay fathers—Fiction. | Humorous stories.
Classification: LCC PZ7.1.H3747 Maq 2019 | DDC [Fic]—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2019005697
ISBNs: 978-0-316-39187-0 (hardcover), 978-0-316-39190-0 (ebook), 978-0-316-42589-6 (large print), 978-0-316-42624-4 (int’l)
E3-20190810-JV-NF-ORI
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
The Return to Mineral Wells
ONE—the first, for the third, but still the first
TWO—the number of previous Misfit books
THREE—this is book three. Huzzah!
FOUR—rumored to be the last book in the series
FIVE—high five! You’re an amazing reader!
SIX—okay, I’m getting “six” of coming up with these chapter titles
SEVEN—number of days in a week
EIGHT—eight, not ate. Ate? Great, now I’m hungry…
NINE—also means “no” in German
TEN—the first number with two digits
ELEVEN—the same number twice
TWELVE—inches in a foot
THIRTEEN—this number is a teenager. They grow up so fast.
FOURTEEN—what’s the point of these chapter titles?
FIFTEEN—I’ve never once referred to them when reading a book.
SIXTEEN—this number can drive. Please buckle up.
SEVENTEEN—this number can watch all kinds of movies
EIGHTEEN—this number can vote
NINETEEN—saying this number in Germany might make a teenager stop what they’re doing
TWENTY—only the second number with a zero in it
TWENTY-ONE—this number can drink. Please don’t drink and number 16
TWENTY-TWO—is it me, or am I seeing double?
TWENTY-THREE—only two more chapter titles to name after this one
TWENTY-FOUR—almost finished! You’re about to read the actual book!
TWENTY-FIVE—Umm… hmm… what to name this one… umm… oh no… writer’s block!
Farewell, for Now
Discover More
The Dove Codes
Acknowledgments
About the Author
To my miraculous parents, Ron and Sheila, for encouraging me to read and rite
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THE RETURN TO MINERAL WELLS
Psst!
Over here!
No, not behind that piece of furniture.
Over here!
No! Not in the other room.
The other over here…
Look closer. Closer. Closer still…
Yes! Here I am.
It’s me… right in the pages of this book!
This ink is my voice, and these letters are messages from my mind.
How mystical, I know.
And there you are! How happy it makes me to have you along for yet another journey.
You will join me, will you not?
Apologies for the secrecy. But once you begin reading this—the third tale of the Magic Misfits—you shall understand why I was hiding. You see, the escapades in this book are a tad more treacherous than in the previous, and I want you to take as much care as the Misfits must themselves. I will need you to think twice about whom to trust and whom to blame. And if you examine every page, you might even find clues that answer questions you have not yet asked.
How mysterious, I know!
I have to assume that you remember the details of our favorite young magicians’ club—the titular Magic Misfits. There is Carter (The Vanisher) Locke… Leila (The Escape Artist) Vernon… Theo (The Levitator) Stein-Meyer… and Ridley (The Transformationist) Larsen… and who could forget Olly and Izzy, the (Hilarious) Golden twins.
In the previous two books, our Misfits brought down a criminal circus enterprise run by the ominous B. B. Bosso and thwarted Sandra Santos (Madame Esmeralda) and her crooked crew’s attempt to acquire a secret ledger belonging to Dante Vernon—the owner of the local magic shop and one of Leila’s dads (but of course you knew that). The Magic Misfits also rescued a monkey and a pair of field mice, and performed (twice!) at the majestic auditorium in the Grand Oak Resort, which overlooks their cozy town of Mineral Wells.
This seems like a lot of backstory, right? That’s because it is! But don’t worry if you can’t remember. This adventurous third tale should fill in any gaps in your memory.
How marvelous, I KNOW!
With a lengthy setup like that, you must be itching to start the first chapter. But before that happens, I must insist we pause yet again to explain.…
HOW TO…
Read This Book!
You probably know what is coming now: a lengthy explanation about how parts of this book contain the tales of the Magic Misfits, and how other parts of this book contain short magic lessons. You probably also remember that you are welcome to skip over those lessons and simply read the story parts. You are also welcome to stick this book in the sink, turn on the cold-water faucet, and let the pages soak for seven hours. But let’s be honest: There are often things in life that we are welcome to do that we should never, ever do.
You probably also know (because y
ou’re quite sharp, aren’t you?) that if you want to learn the skills presented in these magical lessons, you’ll have to practice, practice, practice. And then take a nap, go to school, eat dinner, and then practice some more. Over and over and over again. Because in order to make your friends believe your tricks, you are going to have to be fairly flawless.
So! Since you already know all these things—and if you didn’t, now you do—I think that maybe it would be best for you to simply skip reading the rest of this section and move on. I wish I had suggested that earlier.…
Oh, you’re still here? How considerate! How diligent! Well then, the time is upon us. Go ahead. Take a deep breath. Focus. And turn the page.…
ONE
Theo Stein-Meyer often dreamed about flying.
The dreams would begin with him lying in his bed, his parents snoring just down the hall. Then, as if by magic, he would find himself levitating several inches over his mattress. He would float over to his window, yank up the sash, then pull himself headfirst out into the night. Flying and swooping and swirling in the sky came to him as naturally as it did to his pet doves in the pen behind his house. He would simply squeeze something deep inside his mind, and his body would go.
Up! Up! Up! And farther still, up!
Directing himself through the sky, Theo felt just like he did while playing his violin—making melodies that skipped and flurried and sliced the air. Flying also reminded him of using his magic bow to make objects rise and dance in front of amazed audiences. You see, music and magic were Theo’s two great loves. And he loved life best when he could do both at the same time.
On recent nights, however, his night-flying dreams had turned sinister. A shadowy figure moved through the town below Theo, a tall man in a top hat and cape, whose face was hidden in darkness. He was creeping through alleys and peering into houses. From way up high, Theo could hear him whispering secret enchantments that would make people do bad things.
The man’s name was Kalagan, and he was responsible for much of the trouble Theo and his friends had faced together. The real Kalagan was a mesmerist who had lived in Mineral Wells long ago, but his henchmen had appeared in town several times over the summer, attempting to carry out his nefarious agenda, only to be thwarted by the Magic Misfits. Theo feared that Kalagan would soon return to Mineral Wells to deal with the Misfits himself.
In the dream, Theo swooped lower in the sky to eavesdrop on Kalagan, who had moved into the darkness of an alley. The shadows between buildings seemed to grow darker, more dangerous, and the man’s whispering grew louder.
“Must… stop… Magic… Misfits…”
Kalagan was talking about Theo and his friends!
The mesmerist suddenly whipped around and reached up a hand toward the flying Theo, who shrieked as Kalagan dragged him down toward the ground.
“Must! Stop! Magic! Misfits!” the villain shouted.
Theo woke with a start, tangled in his sheets and gasping for breath. He struggled to free himself, taking deep breaths to calm down. He moved shakily to his window, where light at the line of trees near the horizon was bringing the late-summer morning to life. Was Kalagan somewhere nearby, looking back at him? Everything was quiet, but Theo knew the stillness would last only so long. (This is how the world works, after all.) But for now, he allowed it to seep into his skin and ease him back to sleep.
Later that day, Mineral Wells was wide-awake and buzzing. Cars circled the center of town, passing quaint shops and stands while drivers looked for a rare parking space. Families strolled down sidewalks, while men in suits and women in smart dresses darted in and out of the town hall and the courthouse.
The air was warm and slightly humid, but an occasional breeze kept everyone comfortable. If the residents and visitors listened closely, they could hear a melody carried by that breeze—a lively waltz played on a violin. The musician was a boy dressed in a tuxedo, who had gathered with his friends at the gazebo in the town green to practice for the upcoming Mineral Wells talent show.
Theo danced his bow across the strings. His friends Carter, Leila, Ridley, Olly, and Izzy were standing to the sides. At Theo’s feet, a teddy bear hopped and hovered as if it had been enchanted to life. When Theo sped up the waltz, the bear bounced more quickly, and when Theo slowed, the bear followed dreamily, as if listening.
As the song neared its climax, the bear began to rise up in front of Theo. One foot, two feet, three, four! And as Theo played the final note, he whipped his violin and bow to the side as he reached out to catch the bear with his other hand. At the last moment, however, Theo’s eyes caught on a darkly dressed figure in the distance, and his fist closed on empty air.
It looked just like the evil man from his dreams.
“Theo!”
“Theo?”
“Hey, Theo!”
Theo blinked and looked around to find his friends staring at him. He shivered, unsure if his eyes had been playing tricks on him.
“What happened?” Ridley asked, her red curls vibrating as she shook her head. “That was so good up until the end!”
“I apologize,” Theo answered, his cheeks flushing. “My mind wandered.”
“All our minds have been doing that lately,” Leila said, walking over to squeeze Theo’s elbow in support.
“My mind hasn’t only been wandering,” said Olly. “It’s been positively exploring!”
“Hiking!” proclaimed his twin sister, Izzy.
“Spelunking!”
“My mind took a steamer ship to Antarctica,” Izzy said with a grin.
“My mind became friends with polar bears!” Olly countered.
“Wrong continent,” Ridley said, cutting the twins off. She pressed a button on her wheelchair and a “wrong answer!” buzzer vibrated the gazebo. Then she smiled.
“The Magic Misfits have been through a lot,” said Carter. “It’s okay to have trouble concentrating sometimes, Theo.”
Ridley sighed. “Not concentrating isn’t going to help us win the talent show. We’ve got to stay focused. That prize money is nothing to scoff at.”
The Mineral Wells Talent Show was less than two weeks away, and many residents of the town had already signed up to show off operatic voices, hula dances, tightrope walks, gymnastic routines, monologue recitations, and more.
“Who’s scoffing?” said Carter. “It’s more money than I’ve ever seen. If we win, I’ll finally be able to pay everyone back for all their help since I came to Mineral Wells. And if there’s any money left over, I’m getting one of those fancy cabinets that famous magicians use to make people disappear on stage!”
“You don’t owe anybody anything,” Leila argued back at her cousin. “Except maybe a smile now and then. If we win, I’m getting a Leila-sized water tank so I can practice holding my breath while breaking out of my straitjacket.”
“Me and Olly are gonna get a couple pairs of the shiniest golden tap shoes the world’s ever seen,” Izzy jumped in.
“Speak for yourself, sis,” Olly replied. “I’d rather buy myself some lessons in stage combat so I’ll be ready for the next time we have to fight Kalagan’s goons.”
“Why not just take real combat lessons?” asked Ridley, rolling her eyes. “Then you’ll be ready for fights that happen off stage too.”
Olly’s eyes lit up. “That’s a great idea!”
Ridley gave him a small nod. “With that prize money, I’d upgrade my wheelchair with the new gadgets I’ve been working on. I could even make it transform. A race car. An airplane. A tank! No one would mess with us then.” She glanced at Theo, who was staring off into the distance again. “What about you, Theo? What would you use the prize money for?”
Theo came back to the group. “Skydiving lessons,” he said simply. He took one more look around for the dark figure he thought he had seen, then went down the steps to retrieve the teddy bear. “Now, where were we?”
“You wanna try that ending again?” Ridley asked. “You almost had it.”
&nb
sp; The word buzzed in his head. It almost felt like an insult. But he had been friends with Ridley for as long as he could remember, and he knew she did not mean anything by it. “I have performed the trick fine before,” said Theo. “I was simply distracted just now. Someone else can go.”
Ridley came forward and made a great show of pulling a bunch of bananas from the pouch at the back of her chair. She asked a volunteer from the crowd (Leila) to pick one and peel it. But when Leila pulled at the banana’s skin, the fruit inside fell to the ground in many distinct slices.
Carter went next and covered himself head to toe with a large silk cape. He asked the twins to pull it away. When they did, Carter’s head appeared to be missing! He stumbled around the gazebo until he bumped into Izzy, who was still holding the cape. Then he draped it back over himself. Seconds later, when he whipped the cape away, his head had reappeared.
“That was amazing!” Ridley exclaimed.
“Thanks!” said Carter. “I’ve been working on it for a couple weeks.”
“Should we practice the finale?” Leila asked.
“We should definitely practice your routine,” Ridley answered. “But are we sure we want to use it for the last act?”
“We can figure out who will go last later,” said Leila. “For now…” She pointed to Theo, giving him his cue.
He raised his violin to his chin, and the jolt of a harsh chord echoed across the town green. Pedestrians stopped in their tracks on the sidewalk across the street.
“Move along!” Ridley called loudly. “Nothing to see here!”
Leila rolled her eyes at Ridley’s typical gruffness and kept going. Her act was a re-creation of the break-in at Vernon’s Magic Shop a couple of weeks ago, when Kalagan’s henchmen known as the “frown clowns” had attempted to steal Mr. Vernon’s important notebook.
Theo was accompanying the trick with a moody melody on his violin as Leila quickly tied the clowns (played by Carter, Olly, Izzy, and Ridley) together with soft white rope. The makeshift villains formed a straight line across the gazebo, arms raised in front of themselves.
The Third Movement Page 1