by Jena Wade
I knelt down so we were eye to eye. “No, buddy. I’m sorry,” I said. “That was just a figure of speech. I meant to say that we're going to be heading out soon, so I need to get the last of your stuff in the car, okay?”
Christopher let out a long dramatic sigh. “All right.” He turned and trudged back down the hallway toward his room.
“You sure about this?” Kayden asked.
“Yeah, I mean, it shouldn't be a big deal, right?”
Kayden raised his eyebrows.
I plopped down on the couch and he settled next to me. The couch was the only furniture left in the small apartment that Christopher and I would be leaving behind. “We've been visiting my grandma in Millerstown every weekend for the past six months. Plus, we've been there on holidays throughout the years. The house is just far enough outside of town we won't run into… you know.” I wasn’t sure who I was trying to convince with my spiel.
Kayden didn’t say anything, just kept his brows raised.
“And if I do run into him, so what? It's been five years. More than that. Almost six.”
I buried my head in my hands. “It won't be a big deal. I promise. I can do this. We can do this.”
Kayden shrugged. “If you say so. Just don't be afraid to sell the house as it is and move back. You can take the money you make off the sale and get a little place just outside the city or hell, wherever you want.”
I looked at him sideways. “We want to be where you are. We have plans.”
The other Omega plastered a goofy smile on his face. “Oh, that's so sweet.”
I rolled my eyes. “Because we're business partners, remember? You’re the brains, I’m the brush, right?”
“Right.” Kayden nodded, then his features softened, and he held my hand. “Seriously, if it doesn't work out to remodel your grandma's home to turn it into an in-home daycare, we don't have to do that. It was just an idea I had. If I had known that your ex still lived there…”
I snorted at that. Philip Miller could hardly be called my ex. He still lived in that town, though, and if I lived near it, I’d likely run in to him.
“It's not a bad place to live,” I said. “They have a really great school and they have a fantastic music program for gifted students. Christopher would do well there. His piano skills could really flourish. The kid’s a natural as it is.”
“He is that,” Kayden agreed.
“Plus, at my grandma's house, my house now, I suppose, there'll be room for an actual piano.”
“True,” Kayden said. “But I'm not all about bringing up painful memories. You couldn't pay me to live in the same town as you-know-who.”
I knew. Kayden and I had bonded over the fact that both of us had unexpected pregnancies that were immediately rejected by the men we thought were going to be our Alphas. I don't know what I would have done had I not met Kayden after first moving to the city. I lived in an apartment I could barely afford, with no job, no skills to get a job, and five months pregnant. Thankfully, he'd had his shit together.
Kayden ran a licensed daycare out of his apartment. Between the two of us, we were able to make a pretty good business out of it. It wasn't until later, just two years ago, that we'd come together and created a children's book. With my art and his way with words it became a modest success and we had seven books in the series.
I gave Kayden a hug and kissed his cheek. “Everything will be fine, I promise. We both want to get the kids out of the city, out of this crime-ridden area, into a place where they can run and play outside whenever they want. Past dark even. This is our chance.”
“We could get a dog.”
I chuckled. “Yeah, we can talk about getting a dog.”
Fifteen minutes later, I tossed my duffel bag into the trunk of the car and closed the lid, then hustled over to the driver side and slid in.
“Ready to roll, buddy?” I asked Christopher, who sat in the back seat, already strapped into his booster seat. He held his stuffed panda bear in his hand.
“Yeah,” he said. “Let's go.” He looked longingly at our apartment building, but he put on a brave face.
“I know you'll miss it, buddy. But we're going to have a big house with a yard now.”
“I know,” he said. “But I'm going to miss Uncle Kayden and Jackson.”
I smiled into the rearview mirror and met his gaze. “They'll be coming soon. Once we get the place fixed up. And we’ll be visiting them.”
“Why can't they come now?” he asked.
“Well, we've still got a few kids left in the daycare that need to be watched. We wouldn't want to leave their parents without any childcare, now would we?”
“No.” Christopher sighed. “I guess not. Can we get a swing set?”
I grinned even wider. “Yeah, buddy. It's on my list of things to start researching right away. Maybe we'll fix up the old chicken coop, too. We can get some chickens and you can collect eggs every morning before school.”
“And a puppy, we need to get a puppy.”
I grimaced at that. It was something that would have to wait. “We'll talk about that, little guy. I don't know if you're quite ready for a puppy.”
“I am. I am. I promise.”
I laughed and started up the car, then pulled it out of the parking spot and started down the road. “We'll see,” I said. “Onward and upward to a new adventure!”
I didn't know what awaited me in Millerstown, if anything at all. But this would be a good opportunity for me and Kayden, and the kids. It wasn't as if we would live directly in town anyways. We were just as close to the other small towns in the area, so we were just as likely to get parents from those areas as well as from Millerstown.
Millerstown had flourished in the past six years. Ian Miller was still mayor, but I knew from reading the meeting minutes from the town website, that some citizens had come together and started a petition to impose term limits. It’s likely he wouldn’t be mayor much longer. The town would probably erect a statue of him in the town square when he retired. The thought made my stomach turn. I pushed those thoughts aside, thinking about the younger Miller instead.
I hadn't seen Philip in nearly six years, the guy was probably married with half a dozen kids by now. I’d resisted stalking him on social media, wanting to put as much of him behind me as possible. Christopher and I didn’t need Philip. I did know he worked as a full-time fireman in Millerstown and was on his way to be fire chief someday. Just as he’d wanted.
The drive was a long one, but it was one I was quite familiar with, having visited my grandma many times throughout the years. At first, she'd come to visit me in the city since I'd refused to return to town. She'd never asked who the Alpha was that got me pregnant. Though, I think she’d suspected.
The last few years it had gotten more and more difficult for her to travel, so Christopher and I went to her for the holidays. Then eventually we started going every weekend to keep her company and thank goodness we did. Grandma had always been a strong woman. She raised me since my parents had passed away from a car accident when I was five. She began to get weaker and frailer, seemingly overnight. Two months ago, she’d had a stroke and passed away in her sleep. I still couldn't believe she had left the entire house to me. It had never occurred to me that that could happen. It didn't feel as if I deserved it simply because I was her grandson, but I appreciated it and I would do right by her memory.
If it didn't work out that we could turn the place into an in-home daycare, then… well… we’d cross that bridge when we got there.
Chapter Two
Philip
I browsed the grocery store aisle, hoping something would spark my interest and I could finally decide what I was going to make for dinner. I could eat out again, grab a burger from the diner, or I could go down to the Sub Joint and get something from there. Or I could continue to stare at the full shelves of ingredients and wait for inspiration to strike.
Nothing sounded good.
What did I want?
<
br /> Companionship.
I groaned inwardly. Now was not the time to lament on my lack of a relationship. Young Omegas threw themselves at me on a regular basis, but it wasn't the same. No one wanted forever or at least no one seemed to want forever with me. I'd seen plenty of Omegas that I’d dated in the past meet their forever Alpha. It was never me. Which, I supposed was just as well, considering I couldn't think of any Omega that I wanted to be with forever.
I guess I just hadn't met him yet.
But you have met him.
I squashed that thought. I wasn't going down that painful road.
I scanned the Italian food section, thinking perhaps a homemade pizza would be good. But then again, if I was going to have pizza I might as well order it and have it made right. Or I could make a couple of extras and take them down to the station tomorrow. It was my day off, but I didn't have anything better to do. It would be nice to make the guys dinner. I didn't have anyone else to cook for. I tossed a few pre-made crusts and ingredients for the sauce into my cart and wheeled it around the corner. I moved on auto-pilot, not paying any attention to what I was doing, until I ran straight into the cart coming around the other way.
“Oh, shit. I'm sorry—”
“Excuse me—”
I looked up and met the most beautiful green eyes I'd ever seen. I'd seen them before. They haunted my dreams.
“Ollie,” I said. He looked the same. Only his features were more filled out. He wasn't the eighteen-year-old I had last seen five and a half years ago. He was a grown man now. The strong set of his jaw was the same, but instead of the smooth skin of youth, it was peppered with a five o’clock shadow that I’d never seen on him before.
“Philip.” He looked around nervously as if expecting other shoppers to be watching us.
“How are you?” I said. “Are you back in town? I mean, obviously you’re in town. What are you doing here?”
He shifted his weight and ran a hand through his chestnut-brown hair. “I'm staying at my grandmother's house. My house, I mean. She—she passed away a few weeks ago.”
I nodded. “I heard. I'm sorry.”
“Thank you,” he said. “It's been hard, but she lived a full life.”
I chuckled at that. “She did. She was a great person.” I lifted a hand and rubbed the back of my neck. This could not get any more awkward. “Listen, man, it was really good to see you. You look great.”
“Thanks.” Ollie shifted awkwardly, his gaze still darting around. “You do, too.”
“We should catch up some time, you know? Grab lunch or coffee.” I knew we never would. Ollie had made his decisions to leave without telling me why or where he was going. Instead, he had chosen to send a message through my father telling me that he didn't want to be contacted. I had respected those wishes, despite the immense pain it had caused me. A few times I’d called him, he’d never answered. I still never deleted his number. On late, lonely nights I’d pull up his contact and my thumb would hover over the send button, ready to make the call, get some answers.
“Yeah,” he said. “We should do that.”
“Well,” I said. “I better get rolling. I've got a couple of pizzas to make.” I pasted on a half-grin.
“That sounds fun.”
I backed up my cart and wheeled it around him. “Good seeing you, man.”
“Yeah,” he said over his shoulder. “You, too.”
Was that regret I heard in his voice or perhaps longing? Or just wishful thinking on my part? Who knew. He'd made his decision and I had to respect that. Never mind the fact that he’d shattered my heart into a thousand pieces and I had yet to find them all.
Before turning into the nearest checkout lane, I made a quick trip to the liquor aisle. Whiskey went with pizza, didn't it? Perhaps bourbon? Whatever. I'd be drinking the stuff so fast I wouldn't be able to taste it anyway.
***
I lifted my hand to knock on the door and fell forward. The knock became more of a pound, but it did the trick. What time was it anyway? When did I get home from the store and crack open the whiskey? I had no idea. I just knew the bottle was gone, or had I dropped it? Did I finish it? I couldn’t remember that either.
All that ran through was my mind was that Ollie was in town, and I wanted answers.
What was it about me that he left? Was I not a good enough Alpha?
The windows of the old house were dark, which meant he was probably sleeping. It couldn’t be too terribly late though. I looked around outside. The moon glowed bright enough that I could see without much trouble. It was a little blurry though.
After a few moments, when no one came to the door, I knocked again. Then I saw a soft glow of light through the window and the door flew open. My Omega stood there wearing nothing but a pair of skin tight boxer briefs. He looked like absolute perfection. I'd only been with Ollie the one time, but I'd never forget his delicious body.
“What in the hell are you doing, Philip?” Ollie hissed.
I winced. “I juss—” That came out with too much of a slur, so I cleared my throat and stood up a little straighter. “I just wanted a couple answers.”
He looked back into the house like he was afraid someone might come out, and then he stood in the door frame with the door mostly closed. “You can't be here,” he said. “You have to leave. How did you get here? You didn't drive, did you?”
“No,” I said. “I'm not stupid enough to drive drunk.” I hiccupped. “I brought the ATV.”
Ollie rolled his eyes. “That’s still operating a motorized vehicle while under the influence.”
“Yeah, but I wassn’t on a road. I used the trail between your house an’ mine. You ‘member that trail?”
He groaned. “Yes, I remember the trail. I'm surprised it’s still there.”
I shrugged. “I might have used it a few times in the past couple of years.”
“You can't be here,” he said again. “If you want to talk, that's fine. But not right now. It's two in the morning.”
“That's not even that late,” I said. “It’s kind of early, really, when you think about it.”
“Oh, for God's sake,” Ollie said.
“Daddy,” a small voice from inside the house cried out.
It was enough to snap me out of my stupor. “The fuck?” I said. “Ollie, are you married?” I didn't even want to say the words, but they burst out of me.
“I can’t deal with this right now,” he said, and he turned around.
Before the door closed in my face, I caught a glimpse of a little boy who couldn't be much older than five, maybe six. I didn't know children's ages. He had blond hair and piercing blue eyes. I'd know those eyes anywhere. Those were my eyes.
That's stupid, drunk, crazy, wishful thinking, Philip. Get over yourself. You're not the only blond-haired, blue-eyed Alpha in the world.
But five would be the right age.
No. Ollie wouldn’t do that to me. We talked a lot that summer about having kids. If he was going to have a child, he would have told me. He wouldn't have just vanished in the middle of my vacation and given my dad some lame excuse about not wanting to tie himself down.
No, that wasn't my son in there.
I thought back to earlier today, when I had seen Ollie at the store. He hadn't been wearing a wedding ring. The items in his cart had indicated that he was only buying meals for a single person. They weren't unlike what I would buy for myself as far as quantity went. Except, he’d had kid’s cereal, applesauce cups, and animal crackers.
My head spun, and I had to sit down.
I staggered over to the porch swing. Ollie and I had sat there together a few times while we’d been dating, talking about anything and everything. We’d spent a lot of time getting to know one another during those few months.
I stared off into the distance. I loved being out in the country. Someday I wanted to live out in the country like this. I was a little envious of Ollie for having this house. It was the perfect place to raise a little f
amily.
Is that what he was doing? Raising his little family here? My family?
No.
Ollie would never do that to me.
My head swam with possibilities, questions, concerns and I couldn't keep it all straight. The whiskey or bourbon or whatever I’d bought and drank too much of was catching up to me. I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, hoping that the spinning would stop.
Ollie would come back outside and then I'd ask him. He would tell me the truth now. He didn't have a choice. I had to know. Was that my son?
Chapter Three
Philip
Ice cold water splashed on my face and I bolted upright. I looked around frantically for what in the hell could be happening. That's when the pounding started. I held my head in my hands and groaned.
“Okay, well that worked.”
I knew that voice. That voice from my past that haunted my dreams. I opened my eyes and found Ollie standing in front of me. He was dressed in a pair of jeans faded from use and a dark blue t-shirt.
“Ollie.”
“Yes, although most people tend to call me Oliver, now.”
I looked around some more. The early morning sun peaked out from behind the trees and the air had a chill to it, but it smelled fresh and sweet. Was this his grandma's house?
Oh, no. The night came rushing back to me in a blur of bourbon and bad ideas. At some point drowning my sorrows became demanding answers from the one man who had them. Then I remembered the blue-eyed child who’d called Ollie daddy.
I staggered to my feet and stood in front of Ollie.
“You have a kid? Do you have an Alpha around here? I didn't mean to—”
Ollie held up his hands and shook his head. “No, no to most of that. I do have a son, but I don't have an Alpha. Although, regardless of whether or not I have an Alpha in my life, you should not have come here the way you did.”
I put my head in my hands and groaned. The pounding was back in full force. “I know. Sorry. I just wanted answers.”
Ollie let out a dry laugh. “Answers? I am the one who should want answers after the way you ghosted me like I meant nothing to you.”