Samantha led the way to her office, feeling Connor’s eyes focused on her ass. The skirt had definitely done its job. Connor’s lusty gaze should have made her feel more self-conscious, but instead it did the opposite. Knowing he still wanted her, even if it was just physically, gave her a new sense of confidence. This was how it felt those years ago when she had Connor all to herself, when his only thoughts had been focused on her body and its connection to his. It felt like something was changing between them with each step toward her office, as if they were marching towards something, towards their past and who they used to be. She began to feel more in control. She knew he wanted her.
“Please have a seat,” she stood by the door and waved him into her office. He breezed by her, letting his body brush against hers unnecessarily. Samantha tried, and failed, to ignore the familiar flush across her body the incidental touch caused. The only way she could remain in control was if she could keep her own desires in check while forcing him to act on his.
Samantha closed the door behind him, making sure to lock it. She wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, but she was sure she didn’t want to chance Tammy deciding to walk in. She turned around to see Connor had seated himself in her chair, leaned back with his feet on her desk, a mischievous expression on his lovely face. He had an easy confidence about him that showed her he knew he had been winning their secret battle. That was about to change. She wanted him to make a move, reach for her, show weakness, and then she would shut him down. She could push him away and finally take control once and for all.
Samantha strutted over to him. Connor loved to watch that commanding walk of hers. He was starting to get hard just watching her. She stormed right into his personal space, standing next to him behind her own desk as she shoved his feet down to the floor, causing him to rock forward in the chair. He had to spread his knees to either side of hers to avoid knocking into her. He could have moved the chair back, but that would be retreat. He wasn’t retreating.
“Go ahead and make yourself at home, Connor,” she snarled out at him, taking time to mockingly stretch out his name. He was closer than ever now, touching her, his knees on the outside of her thighs. She could feel her heartbeat racing. She needed to keep control her desires, this was the final battle and she needed a win. But she was losing herself in the sensation of being between Connor Grayson’s thighs.
She tried to take slow, deep breaths to keep him from noticing his effect on her. It didn’t work. The sound of her deep breaths, almost like panting, was the final straw. Connor couldn’t control himself any longer. This wasn’t the game anymore. He wanted her. He knew she wanted him. She might be fighting it, but this was going to happen. Connor was determined to have his hands on Samantha again. Right now.
He stood up without backing up, dragging his body against hers as he rose. His hands traced the outside of her legs from her knees to her thighs, sliding under the hem of her skirt. Samantha leaned back against her desk to keep from falling over as she was overcome by a desire for him. Her mind continued to struggle to tell her body she didn’t want this. This wasn’t the plan. There was no planning when it came to Connor.
“Don’t mind if I do, Samantha,” he whispered against her lips. The familiar feeling of his hands on her naked thighs made her wet instantly. But, it was when she heard his sultry voice, that she knew there was no point in fighting. Her mind had lost, her body had won. Connor had won. He was in control. She wanted him and he knew it. Samantha slid her hands up his arms, resting them on the back of his neck and pulling his lips to meet hers. The kiss they shared contained eleven years of cravings. It was frantic, passionate, demanding, and even angry. They wanted each other and hated themselves for it.
Connor pushed aside her panties, sliding his fingers inside of her wetness as he slid his tongue into her eager mouth. It was happening so fast because it had taken so long.
“Is this what you want?” his words taking them both back to their first tumultuous meeting.
“Yes,” she panted out as his thumb began to circle her most sensitive area, while his fingers drove deeper into her.
“Tell me you want me,” Connor commanded her. He wanted her, but he needed to hear her say it. Now it was his turn to be in control, his turn to make her confess her desires and then leave her wanting. He wanted her to say the words out loud. He wanted the satisfaction of knowing she admitted to wanting him so she couldn’t deny it ever again.
“I want you,” she was lost in the sensations his body and words were creating.
“Tell me you need me,” he was pushing her. She refused to need anyone. He wanted to hear her say she needed him or prove he could walk away when she didn’t. He would be the one to walk away this time. This was payback.
“I need you,” Samantha didn’t think before responding. It was true. Her body needed him. She didn’t want him to stop. She was close to coming.
Connor was shocked. Even like this, when she was at his mercy, seconds from coming, he didn’t think she would admit to needing him. Until that moment, he had planned on walking out on her, getting her to admit she wanted him and then leaving her to drown in that want. Now, she had admitted it so easily, so quickly, so freely. He wanted to push her further. He needed to know if she would say it.
“Tell me you love me,” Connor’s voice dropped to a barely audible whisper in Samantha’s ear. The intimacy was enough to push her over the edge. She couldn’t think. She couldn’t speak. All she could do was feel the wave of pleasure he caused burst across every inch of her body.
“Connor…I…I…I’m coming,” was all Samantha could say as her body shuttered with ecstasy. Connor was angry. Not because Samantha didn’t say it, but because he let her come without saying it. He should have walked away. Yet again he had given her what she needed without getting what he wanted.
“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” he spit out at her as he walked around to the other side of her desk. Samantha instantly regretted the loss of their intimacy, an overwhelming sense of vulnerability swelling inside of her. His words, combined with the sudden loss of their physical connection, cut Samantha deeply. She had an aching want for the warmth of his body and the soft caress of his whispered words from moments ago. She slid off her desk and pulled down her skirt, suddenly excruciatingly unsure. She turned to meet his eyes and drew back at their sudden resentment.
“I’m too old for this school yard shit. Either let me take you to dinner, and we do this thing for real or…” Connor was struggling with what the alternative was. He wanted to be with her, but not like this. Not like before. Not behind closed doors, in secret. He wanted all of her. He wanted her to want all of him. “Or, we’re done. I’m not doing this again with you.”
Through the shock and confusion of the sudden change in him, Samantha heard the defeat in his voice and it broke her heart. This wasn’t a game anymore. Somewhere along the way it had become real. She should have known things between them were never a game. Whatever connection they had, it had always been real. Connor’s eyes remained locked on her, waiting for an answer.
“I don’t date co-workers,” was all Samantha could think to answer. She was so confused about what he wanted, what she wanted, and what she was capable of giving him. He laughed spitefully at her, a sound that sent a chill down her spine.
“You are right. It’s much more professional to come all over my fingers in your office than to let me take you out to dinner,” his words slapped her in the face with her own lack of control. No one had ever made her feel as ashamed as Connor did in that moment. She was stunned. She couldn’t speak. She couldn’t even look at him. She bit the inside of her cheek as hard as she could. She refused to let him see her cry.
“Then, I guess that’s it,” Connor turned and started to walk to the door. When he got to the door handle he turned back to her. She was still frozen behind her desk, not wanting him to leave, but unable to think of what to say to make him stay. She felt like she had given him everything she was a
ble to give and it hadn’t been enough. She wasn’t good enough for Connor. The voice was right.
“For old time’s sake, Elsie. You’re welcome,” her heart ached at the sound of her nickname, but he didn’t bother looking up at her.
And with that, Connor Grayson left Samantha Cane standing alone in her office with a sense of complete emptiness in her heart and a look of complete confusion on her face.
Chapter Seven - Moving forward
Connor stormed out of Samantha’s office, absolutely furious. He didn’t respond to Tammy when she bid him a friendly goodbye or wave back at the handful of other people he had met that day. He couldn’t bring himself to go through the motions. He knew that his cold exit was burning some of the good credit he had built earlier, but it was unavoidable. He couldn’t bring himself to make eye contact with anyone. He didn’t trust himself not to snap on the next person who was foolish enough to try to talk to him. His only concern was to get out of that office and away from Samantha as soon as possible.
She had done it to him again. She had rejected him. She had gotten what she wanted out of him and then tossed him aside. He couldn’t believe he let her get to him again. He knew better. He wasn’t an eighteen year old kid any more. He knew what he wanted. This time he was audacious enough to ask her for it and she said no. She wouldn’t even have dinner with him! He was such an idiot. He should have known. He should have kept his distance.
Connor stepped into the elevator and smashed the button for the lobby a dozen times, not caring that he was going to crush it, until the doors finally closed. He wanted to break something. Smash something. Destroy something. The entire drive back to his house, all he could focus on was how angry he was at himself. His temper was barely in check, just enough to let him function as he got himself back home. It was a miracle he stayed on the road. He threw his keys down on the end table in his entry way, dragging his hands through his hair and letting out a deep breath. Then, he threw the entire end table against the wall, watching the wood splitter into a million pieces with weary satisfaction.
“Fuck!” he shouted as every muscle in his body tensed in pure rage. He walked to the bar and poured himself a double whiskey. He finished it in two large gulps before pouring another and slumping down into his couch. He was utterly exhausted. He felt destroyed. He replayed the entire day with Samantha in his head. Everything aside from being alone in her office had gone better than he had hoped. Everyone in her office was in love with him. Everyone, except the one woman he has wanted since he was eighteen.
Connor thought about what to do next. His first instinct was to call Rebecca and get off the account. She wouldn’t let him. He was sure of it. She already lost her patience with him trying to avoid taking it last week. She wasn’t going to be more inclined to let him off now that he had an initial meeting which by all accounts, except his, had gone well. He could lay out his entire history with Samantha. That was the only way to begin to explain what happened in her office. Connor would rather quit than explain how Samantha Cane had rejected and destroyed him. Again. The upside to the secrecy that Samantha had always insisted on was that his humiliation was just between the two of them. Connor was keen to keep it that way.
He could quit, but he liked his job. He would have to quit effective immediately with no notice to be sure he wouldn’t have to see Samantha again. If he did that, Rebecca would not only refuse to give him a reference, she would probably go out of her way to keep him from finding a new job. He would probably be looking for a new career. As much as he wanted to avoid seeing Samantha again, he wasn’t willing to sacrifice his entire life to do it. Connor sipped his second double whiskey, coming to grips with the fact that he was trapped. He was going to have to keep seeing Samantha.
As the whiskey began to filter into his blood, he began to calm down. He replayed each interaction he had with Samantha. He knew the look on her face when she saw him in the conference room. She was trying to hide it, but she felt something for him. He was sure of it. Maybe it was just lust, but Samantha wanted him physically at least. The fact that he had been so well received with her colleagues had really annoyed her. The more everyone else liked Connor, the more Samantha wanted to control him. That was the reason she asked him to her office to begin with. He had made the mistake of giving in to his own desires when they were alone, but before that he had been in complete control. Samantha was the one part of Connor’s life where he couldn’t trust his instincts. For the first time in his life, he was going to have to make a plan and stick to it.
As much power as Samantha had over Connor, he was the more charismatic of the two. He had more general appeal, was more well-liked. If he was going to have to keep seeing Samantha, those were going to be his two weapons: her lust and his charm. He wasn’t going to run. He was going to fight. He was going to make sure everyone in that office couldn’t get enough of him. He was going to spend as much time around Samantha as possible, ensuring she could see how much her officemates pined for him. He wouldn’t let them cross that line again, he wouldn’t be alone with her. He would keep her wanting him by not letting her have him. A sense of peace began to settle on Connor as he developed his new battle plan to conquer Samantha Cane.
Samantha on the other hand had no idea how to act the next time she saw Connor. She had followed after him, but stopped at the threshold of her office. She had no idea what to say to him and she certainly wasn’t going to make a scene in front of the whole office. She had a million emotions swimming around in her head and needed time to process them. She had Tammy hold her calls and sat in her office, trying to make sense of what had just happened. At first, the ruling emotion had been a sense of shame and disappointment in herself. She had never felt ashamed of being with Connor before, but his words had made her painfully aware of how impetuous she had been. She had let things go too far. She couldn’t help herself. No one had been able to make her feel the way Connor did. She had a handful of lovers in the eleven years since Connor took her virginity. None of them could compare to the way she felt when Connor touched her. It was exactly the way she remembered it. It felt like their bodies were made for each other, his hands designed to touch her. She had given herself to him eagerly and without question. For that, he had mocked her.
Shame began to give way to indignation. He had instigated their tryst. He had no right to make her feel guilty for giving in to him when he was the one leading her, pushing her. He made her confess she wanted him. She needed him. He made her come. Then, he had the audacity to get angry with her for not giving him more. She still wasn’t sure what he actually wanted. Did he really expect her to say she loved him? She had never said those words to anyone other than her parents. He was angry she wasn’t willing to go on a date with him, but their history was too confusing, too painful. Their connection was too unpredictable to bring into her work. The reasons she walked away from him all those years ago were still as real as they had ever been to her. They were why she had never had a serious relationship. They were why she didn’t have close friends. They were why she was so alone. She couldn’t need anyone. She always had to be able to walk away.
Working through her whirlwind of emotions, Samantha came to a resolution. She needed to keep as much distance as possible from Connor. She couldn’t give him what he wanted and she couldn’t control herself if he got too close. Their relationship would have to stay completely professional.
Distance was going to be nearly impossible while working on the merger. Samantha debated asking Mr. Slone to take her off the team. She could find some excuse that he would probably accept. Her caseload was too heavy. She wasn’t sure she was prepared. None of that worked with her thirty year plan. This was her ticket to making partner. She had worked so hard and wanted it so bad. She couldn’t walk away now just because Connor was standing between her and her goal. She would have to work with him. The only way to do that would be to keep her distance physically and emotionally. She refused to let herself be drawn into anymore battles o
r office rendezvous. Connor and Samantha once again had opposite objectives for their next encounter. Samantha wanted distance, Connor wanted anything but. Their wills would be tested sooner than either would have liked.
Chapter Eight - Take Two
Connor came to work the next day with a wide smile and a light step despite the hangover causing a throbbing in his temples. He brought donuts, another one of his simple tricks. He had yet to work in an office where free pastries weren’t appreciated. It was a cheap way to earn him bonus points, to show he was happy to pay his way into their good graces.
He didn’t have an office, so he spent the first hour or so of the morning in the break room. He sipped his coffee and initiated casual chit chat through encouraging people to have a donut. He often learned the most about an office and the people in it from the offhand chats he had in break rooms and smoking areas. People were much more willing to share secrets when they felt they were “off the record”. Connor had always found that in general people liked to talk if you were able to make them feel comfortable. That was Connor’s specialty, making people feel like he was their best friend from the first meeting.
In his hour in the break room Connor had learned that Samantha was definitely feared at Phillips, Morrissey & Tanner. People acknowledged she was a hard worker, but they were all aware her dedication was self-motivated. The perception was that she had no loyalty. Connor wasn’t surprised by any of it. He had seen the same side of Samantha that all her co-workers had, the distant and cold woman who was so focused on achieving her goals she lost sight of the people around her.
Even without their past, the fact that Samantha was handling the merger without the support of her co-workers was going to make Connor’s job more difficult. People always got nervous during a merger. Change is always disruptive. Connor’s job was to keep everyone calm and working happily toward a common goal, something he had learned from experience was much easier if the team believed in the project. If people didn’t believe in Samantha, they were going to have to believe in him.
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