Slowly she turned her gaze on him once more. He was a handsome man in a sort of way, but at the moment she just could not understand why he would want to marry her. Bluntly she asked, ‘How old are you?’
Unsmiling, he answered, ‘I am thirty-three next birthday, which is close to your own.’
‘Thirty-three.’ She seemed to consider. It was old but not all that old. He was sixteen years older than her, almost twice her age.
‘Do I appear so old to you?’
‘No’—she gave him a small smile—‘not all that old.’
‘I’m glad of that, Nancy Ann.’ His hands came out swiftly and caught hers again and he went on, his voice low and rapid, ‘I must tell you now, I love you. I feel I have loved you for a long time and I promise that if you will marry me, I’ll make it my life’s work to see that you are happy.’
He could sense the increased trembling within her through her hands, and he said, ‘You are not afraid of me? Please say you are not afraid of me.’
‘No. Oh no, only I have never been…well, I mean no-one has ever said they wanted to marry me, or that they’—she lowered her gaze—‘loved me. It is all very strange; and it will all have to depend on Mama and Papa and…’
Suddenly he left hold of her hands and, rising to his feet, he said, ‘Come. I think your brother must have returned, there is a commotion in the hall.’
But before opening the library door to let her out, he caught her hand once more and, lifting it upwards, he did not kiss it but pressed it against his cheek for a moment as he stared into her flushed face. Then, taking her by the arm, he hurried her out along the corridor and into the hall, there to see, not only her brother, but her father too.
‘Where was she?’ It was Peter, his voice loud now and demanding; then not waiting for an answer he looked at Nancy Ann and cried, ‘Where have you been?’
‘I…I fell asleep in…in the library behind a screen. I…I was so hot. Oh, Papa!’ She ran to John now and put her arms around his neck, and he patted her shoulder while he looked at the man who was now saying, ‘I couldn’t believe my eyes. I had been in that room half a dozen times and never thought to look behind the screen. It is a small screen in the corner of the room and hides a still smaller couch, a miniature. That’s why no-one thought of looking behind it. I’m sorry, sir, that you have been troubled.’
John now looked at this man whom he saw was perturbed in some way, and naturally he would be, and he said, ‘I am sorry too, sir, that you have been put to so much trouble. It seems a weakness of my daughter to get into scrapes that enlist your help.’
‘Father is right.’ Peter was nodding at Dennison now. ‘She always manages to create a stir. And it was such a lovely evening; I enjoyed myself immensely, and so did she. Didn’t you?’ He turned to her and she nodded at him and, leaving her father’s side, she walked the few steps until she was once again standing in front of Dennison and, holding out her hand, she said, ‘Goodnight. And thank you for the evening and everything.’
Her words seemed to please him and he smiled warmly at her. Then going towards her father, he said, ‘Couldn’t I offer you something hot before you make the journey back?’
‘No, thank you. Her mother is naturally perturbed, so we must make all haste and return home. And I must say again, I am sorry for the disturbance my daughter has caused. It was most inconsiderate of her, not to mention very ill-mannered. Goodnight, sir.’
Nancy Ann had been given her cloak by a very stiff-faced housekeeper, and her father now marshalled her before him out of the door, and down the steps to where the coach stood; but Peter, before following them, held out his hand to Dennison, saying, ‘If she had been just a year younger, I would have boxed her ears.’
At this, both men laughed.
As Dennison stood on the top step and watched the coach door close on Peter, his valet came out and put a cape around his shoulders, and he made a motion of thanks with his hand, then continued to stand until the coach had disappeared into the lamplit trees bordering the drive. Presently he slowly turned and went indoors, and when he realised his valet was following him up the stairs he stopped and turned, saying, ‘It’s all right, Staith. Get to bed, I’ll see to myself.’
‘Are you sure, sir?’
‘Yes, yes, I am sure.’
In his room he tore off his cravat and his velvet jacket, threw off his patent leather shoes, then dropped into the easy chair that was placed to the side of a fire that was still burning brightly and, leaning back, he closed his eyes and muttered aloud, ‘Oh, Nancy Ann. Nancy Ann.’ And he saw again in his mind her sleeping face when he had first laid his head against hers. That was before the look of terror had come into her eyes. Then he muttered, ‘May all the gods that be, including the parson’s, stand by me in this.’
PART FOUR
THE ENGAGEMENT
One
The fact that Dennison should attend a church service on New Year’s morning suggested to the household staff there was indeed something in the wind. The thought that he might be serious about the chit from the vicarage was really unbelievable to them; yet, all the signs pointed to the fact there were changes in the air, and the top hierarchy of the butler, the housekeeper, the valet and the first footman were greatly disturbed. It was they who ran the household; they who, for the most part of the year, gave the orders, and especially did this apply to the valet and the housekeeper. But what was significant to all the members of the household was that this was the first New Year in the last ten that the master had not welcomed in in Scotland, where, accompanied by a number of his staff and a greater number of his friends, a riotous time was wont to be had by one and all. And what had happened here last night? The master’s only company had been Lady Beatrice and Lady Golding, and at one o’clock Lady Golding had been able to walk straight to her coach while Lady Beatrice had had to be helped upstairs. It was well known she couldn’t carry her drink. As for the master, well, they just shook their heads: he had walked steady when he had gone upstairs at two o’clock this morning. Of course, he was used to carrying his drink; it was very rarely it floored him …
The fact that it had been the strangest New Year his staff had ever experienced wasn’t lost on Dennison, and he wondered if the man who was sitting opposite to him now and who was attempting to cover his disapproval knew to what extent he himself had altered, if only by way of changing his lifestyle, in order to bring himself to utter the words he had just spoken: ‘I hope it comes as no surprise to you, the reason for my visit this morning. I wish to ask for your daughter in marriage.’
He watched the parson rise and then tower over him for a moment as if he were God himself; he watched the plain black-buttoned coat swell; he watched him turn away and stretch out his hand and grip the mantelpiece and look down into the fire. And when the man spoke, it seemed it was with an effort he said, ‘There, in a way, you are wrong, sir, for I fail to understand why a man of your position and’—there was a sound of deep swallow before the next words came—‘way of life, should wish to choose my daughter for a wife.’
Dennison too now rose to his feet, and quietly he said, ‘May I answer that by saying, she’s had such an effect upon me it has caused me to alter my way of life. I am well aware that that has not been blameless, but in defence of myself I can say that I have never knowingly hurt anyone. What I mean, if I may speak plainly, sir, is that what associations I have had have been with my own class, I have never given cause for pain or scandal to anyone below my station. It could be said of me, I have been a man of my time and class. Yet now I wish to change all that: my one desire is to settle down and have a family, and I’ve never met a woman in my life that I’ve had an affection for as for your daughter. I know she is young and I’m quite willing to wait a reasonable time if I have your permission to put my suit to her.’ He dare not state that he had already made evident his suit to her. ‘I promise you, sir, I shall cherish her.’
It was a full minute filled with unease before
John turned from the fireplace and said, ‘I must not lie to you about my feelings in this matter. You would not be my choice for a proper husband for my daughter, but my wife, who has only a certain time left to her, wishes to see her settled before that time expires. That is a factor in your favour. But finally, the choice lies with Nancy Ann herself. Naturally, I have not spoken to her of marriage so I don’t know where her feelings lie, or even if she has given any thought to it at all. Young girls usually have romantic ideas, but she is of a very sensible turn of mind and older than her years, so in this matter I will trust her to make her own decision. If you will excuse me, sir, I shall send her in to you.’
Left alone, Dennison now stood with his back to the fire and looked around the room. To him it was the most depressing sight, showing not one sign of comfort. The furniture was heavy and ugly, in fact all he had seen of the rest of the house was depressing. Oh, what a different life he would open up for her. He would show her London, Paris, Rome. There was so much beauty to be seen. And how her own beauty would ripen in such surroundings.
He looked towards the door, waiting for it to open, and when after some moments it didn’t, he not only became impatient, but worried. He moved from the fireplace and walked to the window, and found he was looking onto a vegetable garden that appeared full of cabbages, here and there their naked stumps standing petrified with frost. The ground at one end was hacked into mounds as if someone had just finished digging. He swung round from the window when he heard a noise outside the door. But when it didn’t open he walked quickly to the fireplace again, and now literally shivered. The room was cold and he couldn’t expect a fire such as this one to heat it. He drew his lips tight in between his teeth. She wasn’t coming.
When the door eventually opened, it was with an effort that he stopped himself from rushing forward; instead, smiling quietly, he went towards her and held out his hand.
Nancy Ann hesitated a second or so before placing her hand in his, and he held it whilst drawing her up the room towards the fireplace. Here, he took her other hand and they looked at each other without speaking.
Strangely, her mind wasn’t in a whirl. It had stopped whirling yesterday after a talk with her grandmama who had said, ‘Think hard. Forget about your mother for a moment. One thing is sure, you’ll never in your life again get such an offer as he is making you. It doesn’t, or very rarely does, happen to young girls in your position. Mating up with another young parson is the rule, and then, generally, bread and scrape for the rest of your life, as happened to your mother. But this, of course, is compensated for where love is. You say you like him. Well, that’s a good start to any marriage. And liking, like pity, is the first cousin to love. But when you next meet him give yourself an answer to the question: Could you bear him to put his arms about you and hold you close? Because marriage is made up of close proximity of the body, if not of the mind.’
Could she bear him to put his arms about her? He looked strong; there was a clean smell coming from him; he was, in a way, she supposed, handsome. His hair was thick and of a dark brown shade; his eyes were grey, his eyebrows were dark; he was clean-shaven, but there was a faint bluish hue about his chin.
She took her eyes from his face and looked down on their joined hands. His did not seem to match his body which was thickset and sturdy looking, because they were long, the fingers thin.
‘Well, Nancy Ann, what is my answer?’
She looked at him, again holding his deep gaze for a moment before saying quietly, ‘Yes, I will marry you.’ Then almost painfully, she went on, ‘But there are conditions.’ His head moved, his face stretched slightly whilst waiting for her to state these. And she did: ‘You will continue to attend church on a Sunday as you have been doing of late, but now you will accompany me,’ she said.
He wanted to throw back his head again and roar at her condition. She was such a child. But in the next moment she disabused him of this idea by adding, ‘Because your presence there has only been a lead-up to this moment, hasn’t it?’
‘Oh, Nancy Ann.’ His tone sounded as if he were offended. ‘Do you think that?’
‘Oh!’ Her hands were tugged from his in an impatient movement and, her voice loud, she cried, ‘If…if we are to become acquainted, better acquainted, please don’t treat me as a child and underestimate my…my intelligence.’
He looked at her in stupefied silence. She was right. Oh, she was right. Good gracious. She had character. In this moment she put him in mind of Pat. Yet she looked so young, so…so…
‘I’m sorry. Forgive me,’ he said. ‘And I assure you, from now on I shall not underestimate your intelligence. Oh no. And yes, you are right, it was all a lead-up to this moment.’ There was a slight smile at the corner of his lips now. ‘What is more, I’ll agree to your terms: whenever we are at home I’ll accompany you to church. Is that the only term?’
Now she allowed a smile to touch her lips as she answered, ‘No; there are others, but all in due course.’ Her smile widened. She felt a wave of relief sweeping over her: she could talk to him like this; that must augur good for the future.
Again he caught her hands and, drawing them together now and to the front of his high-buttoned jacket, he said softly, ‘May I kiss you?’ Even as he spoke the words he was thinking that it was the first time in his life he’d asked a woman if he had permission to kiss her.
When she made no reply but blinked her eyes rapidly, he left hold of her hands, put his arms around her and gently drew her towards him, and when he put his mouth on her lips that made no response, he felt such a surge of feeling sweep over him that he warned himself: Steady. Steady. Go easy.
It was over. She had been kissed by a man on the mouth. And it had been quite a pleasant sensation. She couldn’t remember being kissed on the mouth even by her mama or grandmama; the boys and her father, of course, always kissed her on the cheek.
‘Nancy Ann, you have made me a very happy man, and so now I will make you a promise that I hope I shall be able to keep, and that is, I shall never willingly cause you distress.’
That was nice of him. She liked him better the more she saw of him. And she had liked his arms about her too…Oh, yes she had.
‘I’m forgetting the most important thing,’ he said, putting his hand into the pocket of his three-quarter length coat. He drew out a small box; then having opened it, he presented it to her.
She looked down on the sparkling ring. It was a gold band with a half hoop of six diamonds, and not small ones. She had never been one to wear jewellery, for the simple reason that she had only the gold pendant given to her on her last birthday by her mama, and a brooch that supposedly had belonged to her grandmother’s grandmother.
He had taken the ring from its case and now, holding her hand gently, he slipped it onto the third finger of her left hand. Then, raising her hand to his lips, he kissed it, saying, ‘It is sealed.’ Then he added, ‘How say you, my dear?’
She gulped in her throat before, holding her hand in front of her face, she looked at the ring and whispered, ‘Yes, it is sealed.’
‘Now shall we go and show it to your mama and grandmama and your brother?’
He did not mention her father, and this omission did not pass her unnoticed. Taking her hand now, he led her down the room, but at the door he drew her to a standstill, saying softly, ‘We shan’t experience any privacy for some time, and so may I?’ Again he was requesting that he kiss her.
She said nothing but bent slightly towards him; and this time, when he placed his mouth on hers, her lips were not as tight as they had been previously. And all the more he had to quell the urge to press her tightly to him.
On opening the door into the hall, the first person he saw was Peter, who stopped and looked towards them. And Dennison, still holding Nancy Ann’s arm, led her forward, saying, ‘Well, my future brother-in-law, will you wish us happiness?’
Peter glanced at him for a moment; then he looked at his sister and, taking her into his arms,
he hugged her in a way that Dennison envied, saying, ‘I wish you all happiness, Nancy Ann. You know that.’
‘Yes, Peter. Thank you.’
Then he said, ‘You just missed Father. He’s gone to the church.’
‘Well, we’ll go and see him there after we’ve seen Mama and Grandmama.’
She now walked hurriedly away across the hall and into her mother’s room, and it would seem that both her mother and grandmother were awaiting her entry.
At a run, she made for the bed and, without a word, bent forward and kissed her mother tenderly, then held out her hand with the ring on it.
Rebecca’s thin white hands held the warm tinted one as she looked down on the ring. Then lifting her gaze to the man who was now standing at the foot of the bed, she said, ‘You will be good to her?’ And he answered simply, ‘On my life, madam.’
Nancy Ann had now turned to her grandmama, and Jessica, the tears running freely down her face, said nothing, but pulling herself up from the chair, she held her granddaughter tightly to her. Then, as was her way, she looked at Dennison, saying bluntly now, ‘You don’t deserve her, you know, and I hope you realise how lucky you are.’
‘I do indeed. I do indeed, madam. No-one realises it more than I do.’ And bending slightly towards her, he smiled as he said, ‘Now I must raise the question of how long it is before I may take the liberty and have the honour of calling you Grandmama?’
‘Oh.’ She flapped her hand at him. ‘Time enough for that; the proceedings have just begun.’
Their attention was now drawn to the woman in the bed, for she was saying softly, ‘June is a lovely month for a wedding. You can nearly always rely on the weather in June, at least towards the end.’
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