Her throat was too dry for speech, she merely inclined her head, and so he went on, ‘I gave him an ultimatum: he was to give up the idea at once, and I would see that the girl was decently taken care of, and if she didn’t want the child it would be adopted, otherwise he’d have to face marriage as a working man, for he would have no help from me. As I told him, he had no money of his own, for the estates and all they held were in my name. Fortunately or unfortunately, my father had not made another will from the time I was born. This threw him into a state and gave me hope, because he was in no way able to earn his living. Apart from his pastimes of painting and writing, he had no other qualifications.’
He leant towards her now but did not touch her: with his two hands flat on the rock, he looked down towards them as he said in a low voice, ‘The weather was bad, the river had swollen, the wooden bridge further down was blocked with debris. I didn’t know he was out. But when night came and he hadn’t returned I went looking for him with the men. Dawn the following morning, the rowing boat was found capsized near the bridge. The debris had gone through and must have taken him with it. Three days later his body was recovered.’ Still looking at his hands, he muttered, ‘I was overwhelmed with sorrow and anger. I wanted to strangle that girl. I gave orders for her to leave the house, and these were carried out. Then, a day later, she appeared again, accompanied by this uncle of hers, who Tim had said was an intelligent man. He was also a cunning man. He demanded to see me and told me plainly that if I did not give her the shelter of my house, to which she was due, at least as a servant, then he would make the matter public and show the press the letters that my brother had written to the girl, telling of his sincerity and love for her and his desire to marry her; and that now he was gone I had thrown her out, and the only place for her would be the workhouse where her child would be born, for he himself was due to leave for abroad. But he promised, or rather threatened, that if I did not meet his demands he would put off his voyage and bring the matter to light to the public. He said he had friends who would support him in his crusade in exposing the legalised licence given to sons of the wealthy, where they could use their maids as training ground, with the result that the workhouses were packed with young girls and ba…illegitimate children.’
He now raised his head and looked at her, continuing, ‘I knew he meant every word he said, and I am so made that I couldn’t stand up to the scandal. There are times now when I regret my weakness. Well, I think you know the rest. I gave orders that the girl could stay but that she must be kept out of my sight. And those orders have been carried out. Up till recently, up till I fell in love with you, I had never spent very much time here; in fact, the very thought of that woman and child kept me away. I could, I suppose, have made arrangements for them, and offered to place her in some comfort outside, but had I done so it would have been paramount to accepting responsibility for the child and that I would and will never do, and today is the first time I have seen him.’
Her voice came soft and sad as she said, ‘He’s still your brother’s child, Denny.’
‘I…I’m sorry, but I don’t look at him in that light, and never will. You’ve got to understand me in this, my dear. And I don’t want the subject brought up again. It is too painful for me. I only know the loss of Tim altered my life. It altered me. I asked the question, why I should be held responsible in this matter, held to ransom as it were, made a laughing stock of, when in every county in this country, where there is sited a large establishment, the surrounding farms and cottages are bespattered with the results of their sporting sons and only-too-willing serving girls.’
When she rose sharply from the stone, he caught at her hands, saying, ‘I…I speak too freely and too soon. I’m…I’m sorry…Oh, my dear. I had looked forward so much all the journey down just to see your face, and a little while ago your expression told me that you…you more than liked me, now it tells me that you dislike me.’
She swallowed deeply, then said, ‘I…I don’t dislike you, I…I’m only troubled by your way of thinking.’
He rose and, still holding her hands, he drew her stiff body to him, saying gently now, ‘’Tis the thinking of my class. You think as you were brought up, I as I was brought up. We are moulded by our environment. But from now on I want, I sincerely want our environments to mingle. You believe me?’
‘Yes. Yes, I believe you.’
‘Well, now, can you forget the last half-hour as if it had never happened and smile at me as you did before?’
‘I can’t smile to order.’
‘No, no; of course not. That would mean you are like the other ladies of my acquaintance, with the exception of course of Pat. You know you are very like Pat in some ways, and I like that, because I’m fond of Pat. She’s a straight, honest, good friend. Well now, my dear, shall we go back to the house? Because I’ve not eaten since I breakfasted this morning, but apart from that I am very thirsty. And later this evening, I must call on your father, because the banns can be called any time now. Then there are the wedding invitations to go out. Oh, there is so much to do. You know what I thought on my journey down?’
‘No, I don’t.’
‘I thought, wouldn’t it save all this trouble if we could slip into your church one morning early and your father could marry us? And we could board the train and go off, just like that, without bags of luggage, a valet, or a maid.’
She pulled him to a stop, saying, ‘It’s surprising, at least it will be to you, but I don’t want a maid, Denny.’
‘Oh, my dear, you must have a maid.’
‘No. Why should I? I’ve always dressed myself. I couldn’t imagine someone else in the room while I was dressing. And…and do we need to have people travelling with us?’
He stared at her for a moment; then putting his head on one side and a quizzical smile coming to his lips, he said, ‘No, you’re absolutely right, we don’t. In London, Johnson could see to my wants, and his wife Mary could see to yours, and up in Scotland, James McBride would be only too pleased to attend me, and there’s Agnes, and Nell, who would fall over themselves to see to you. No, my dear. No, you’re right.’ His smile widened. ‘Of course, you’re right. And when we are abroad we shall see to each other.’
He now grabbed her by the arm and hurried her through the woodland. It was indeed as if the last half-hour had never happened and there was no such person as a little boy who lived in the roof of his house, and slept there with his mother and wrote on a slate: Birds have wings, trees have leaves, and rabbits play, but they all die.
Eight
The banns had been called for the third time. The villagers were getting used to seeing the master of Rossburn sitting in his pew and often looking down to where his future wife sat in the parson’s family pew beneath and slightly to the left of the pulpit.
Most of the villagers were quite agog at the event of the coming wedding for invitations had been flowing freely among the cottages and houses. There were to be refreshments in the vicarage for both villagers and guests after the wedding, but later in the day a dinner and ball were to be held for the bridegroom’s friends up at the House. This was to be left in the capable hands of Lady Golding, for the bridal pair were to leave by the three o’clock train from Newcastle for London, where they were to spend the first three days of their married life before going across the Channel to France, and from there would return to finish their month of honeymooning in Scotland.
It was now the beginning of May and all the arrangements were in full swing. The weather was fine, everyone was in good spirits, even Rebecca seemed to have a new lease of life, so much so that company didn’t seem to tire her as of yore. So, on this particular evening, there were gathered in her sickroom not only the family, including Peter, but Dennison too. And he was laughing loudly with the others as Nancy Ann, at the request of her grandmother, mimicked the conversations she’d had with Shane McLoughlin, starting with the first one.
‘How is your family?’
Her voice now changed, her whole manner changed: she took up the pose of the young man and in his broad Irish accent she said, ‘Oh, they are doing well, miss, especially since me da died, God rest him. There were fifteen of us at the end, and not one of us sorry to see him go ’cos, you know, he’d neither work nor want. Me ma’s never been so happy, miss, and we all stand by her.’ She paused for the laughter, and then …
‘Oh, it’s you McLoughlin. You, you are in a hurry.’
‘Did I startle you, miss? It’s like me ma says, a bull in a china shop can’t hold a candle to me. I might have knocked you flying, an’ I would have sooner kicked meself than hurt a hair of your head…excuse the liberty I’m takin’ in saying it ma’am…miss. And how is yourself these days?’
‘I’m very well. Thank you.’
‘God be praised for that. Indeed yes. Indeed yes.’
She now touched the front of her hair as if it were a forelock and, nodding her head, stepped back two paces.
Dennison had never really witnessed her mimicking, not at this length. She had, at times, repeated a phrase and taken up a pose and, in doing so, made him laugh. But this was acting, and so natural. He was both astonished and proud. He saw a picture of her entertaining his guests as no-one else could. The usual accomplishments were to tap out a tune on the piano and sing in a soprano voice. But this was entertaining. His future wife would certainly be an asset in company, and moreover a beautiful asset, especially when she grew a little older and plumped out. Her figure was beautiful now, but boyishly so. Give her a year or two and children, oh yes, children, a son, his son. He wanted a son; above all things he wanted a son.
He now looked at his future father-in-law. He had never seen him laugh before. He had hardly ever seen him smile. He looked a different being…even jolly. He wished he could get to know the man better. He wished he would trust him.
‘Good day to you, miss. Good day to you.’ She was still pulling at the front of her hair now, when all of a sudden her papa said, ‘Whisht! Whisht!’ and she stopped abruptly, and they all looked towards the bed. Her mother’s head had sunk into the pillow, her face had gone a deeper pallor. And then, to their horror, a trickle of blood began to seep from the corner of her mouth …
Something near to pandemonium followed. Dennison himself rode into the village for the doctor, who at first couldn’t be found as he was attending a birth at a farm some distance away. So it was almost an hour later when he arrived, and he was silent as he stood by the bed and looked at the unconscious woman.
After a slight examination he took the parson’s arm and gently led him from the room, and when they were in the sitting room, his voice sad, he said, ‘She will not regain consciousness. You should be thankful for that. She’s in no pain.’
At this John dropped into a chair and stared before him like a blind man. He had known this hour must come, but now it was here he felt he couldn’t bear it, and he cried, ‘Oh, Rebecca! Oh, Rebecca!’ as Nancy Ann in the other room was crying, ‘Oh, Mama! Oh, Mama!’
And in the hallway, about to take his departure, was Dennison, who was also crying, but in a different way, inside. My God! For this to happen at this stage, for what did it portend? Postponement of the wedding. And for how long? How long, he didn’t know, but he only knew he couldn’t stand much more of this delay. His need of her in all ways was so great that at this moment he felt as desperate as the whole family did at the coming loss of the dying woman, for he felt that by her going he, too, would lose, he would lose the being that had begun to shape his life into a different pattern.
Of one thing he was fully aware, he would have a fight on his hands with the parson for, his wife gone, he would have more need to hold on to his daughter, and, using his bereavement, he would play on her feeling in every way possible, and without compassion: the Christian man would be forgiven in the tactics he would use in order that his child would never leave him, especially not to marry him, the man of whom he had never approved.
PART FIVE
THE NEW LIFE
One
‘Papa, it is five months now since Mama went, and…and Dennison is becoming impatient.’
‘Dennison is becoming impatient.’ Her father’s voice was high, every word stressing his indignation, and he repeated, ‘Dennison is becoming impatient. My child, he will be lucky if I allow you to marry after another year. Have you forgotten the fitness of things? A wedding you talk of and your mother hardly left this house!’
‘It is five months, Papa. I shall be eighteen very shortly…’
‘I know what age you will be very shortly and I can tell you this, there are another three years before you are twenty-one, and I can withhold my consent.’
‘You wouldn’t, Papa?’
‘Oh, yes, I would, my child, for you well know I have never been in favour of this marriage. If it had been someone else, and there is someone else that would take care of you and honour you and provide you with a good and wholesome life…if it had been he…’
‘What are you saying, Papa? I know of no-one else who would wish to marry me.’
‘Then you are blind my child, quite blind. He is the friend of your brothers and a man who has become my friend…’
‘What! You mean Mr Mercer? Oh, Papa, you are mistaken; he has never been other than polite and courteous to me.’
‘Of course he hasn’t, child, because he is a gentleman in every sense of the word. But let me tell you, he was upset, very upset indeed when he knew of your engagement, and he blamed himself for being slow in approaching you. Your present fiancé had no compunction in that way. And so I say to you as I said a few minutes ago, think again, break off this engagement. Wait a little while and…’
‘No, Papa, I shan’t do any such thing, no matter how long you make us wait. I have grown fond, very fond of Dennison, and I couldn’t be so cruel. He has been patient and more than kind. He has been very kind to you, and I’m amazed at your attitude towards him. And I must say this, Papa, if you don’t give us your consent, then I’m afraid that Dennison might take it into his own hands and obtain what he calls a special licence. And I must tell you further, Papa, that Grandmama and Peter are not with you in this. Grandmama said six months would be decent, and it is close to that now and I hate to say this, Papa, because…because I love you so, but if you don’t marry us then we must go elsewhere.’
He looked at her the while his mouth opened and shut but without any sound coming from it: he couldn’t believe his ears. But then he had refused to recognise the change in her over the past year. She was no longer a little girl, she was no longer even a young woman. He had refused to recognise her maturity, and now face to face with it he was shocked by it. When he could, he muttered thickly, ‘Leave me. Leave me.’
And so she left him, the tears raining down her face.
But the door had no sooner closed behind Nancy Ann when it was opened again and Jessica entered the room, saying immediately, ‘John Howard, I’m going to tell you something. You are going the right way to lose her altogether. If you don’t marry them, and soon, let me tell you, someone else will. She will go off with him and the bond between you will be severed forever. She is old enough for marriage, she knows her own mind.’ She did not add that which her thoughts dictated, that her granddaughter was ready for marriage. Contact with her future husband had made her eager for it, for he was a virile man and had the magnetism of such about him.
Her voice softer and her words slower, she went on, ‘John Howard, John Howard, don’t lose her. You’ll always regret it if you do. Marry them, because marry they will sooner or later. And what you are seeming to forget, John Howard, is that Rebecca wanted this marriage.’
He came back at her sharply now saying, ‘She only wanted it because she saw him as the only one who could provide for her daughter; she didn’t realise that Graham was just waiting until Nancy Ann was a little older.’
‘Graham? Graham Mercer?’
‘Which other Graham is there, Mother?
Yes, Graham, and he loves her dearly.’
‘Well then, it is a pity he was so slow. But that can never be now because, face it, John Howard, she has grown to love this man; and he adores her, be he what he may. And all right, your main feeling against him is because of his past and the women in it, but all that is behind him and he’s shown it to be so over the past year. And for a man like that, it could not have been easy. Oh, no, it could not have been easy. So let us have no more of it. Marry them. It can be done quietly without any fuss. No receptions, no parties, invitations, all that has been cancelled and won’t be revived, not even if you were to make them wait a year or two. But you mustn’t do that, because if you do’—her voice sank low in her throat—‘we could come down to breakfast one morning and find an empty space at the table. That man is strong, he has power, he has made her love him, because she didn’t at first, and she’s not a character that can be lightly swayed. I know that, because she takes after me. So, am I to tell her that you will marry them, say, on her eighteenth birthday?’
She watched her son close his eyes, then turn from her and lean for support on the table. He looked an old man. He was an old man, and he but fifty-three years old, and he was a broken man because he had lost his support. She had never been very fond of her daughter-in-law until the last year or so when she seemed to have shed a little of her pious manner. But she had to admit that she had been the stay that had kept this son of hers upright, and now she feared for his future, both mental and physical, for since her going, he seemed to have lost interest even in his vocation: his sermons were without spirit, and his interest in his parishioners had diminished to a point where it was as much as he could do to attend a deathbed.
The Parson's Daughter Page 20