I gazed at her, stunned, convinced that I was hallucinating. Lizzy was naked and shivering, her skin a bluish-white, forearm across her breasts, left hand covering her vagina. Lizzy’s distressed and disorientated expression changed to one of intense relief, then faltered, her eyes moving from side to side as if scanning my face, trying to understand why I just stood in the doorway, staring at her with my mouth hanging open. Then she saw my arms and gasped.
‘Oh my God, Bruce, your arms!’
I took a step back, still unable to comprehend what I was seeing.
‘Bruce?’
Shaking my head, I said, ‘No. I’m not seeing this. You’re not real.’
I took another step back.
‘Bruce, it’s me, Lizzy.’
‘No way. Uh-uh. You’re dead.’
Lizzy stepped over the threshold, reaching out with both hands, alarm driving away all self-consciousness.
‘No no, it’s me, Lizzy. I’m alive. It’s okay. It’s okay.’
‘Okay?! I watched you die! You’re not real!’
‘Bruce-’
Mick and Keith bounded up to her, barking joyfully, and as I stared at them in amazement, I thought, Could it be? Is she really standing here? Really alive?
‘My God, what did it do to you?’ Lizzy said, looking at Mick’s bandages. She knelt down, kissed him on the top of the head and then rubbed his scalp with her fingertips, something he loved, Mick’s eyes half closed in pleasure. Then Keith nuzzled her and she made a fuss of him too.
‘Lizzy?’
She looked at me and nodded, tears filling her eyes, then walked forwards, wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me fiercely, pressing her face into my shoulder. Lizzy was freezing cold, her nipples hard against my chest.
She began to cry, and, unable to hug her back, I rested my head against hers and said, ‘How? I don’t understand. I saw you die. I thought I’d lost you.’
Lizzy looked up at me. ‘You did. But I came back. I always come back.’
I stared at her, bewildered. ‘What do you mean “always”?’
‘Ever since I returned, if I get hurt in any way, I always heal quickly. No matter how severe the injury.’ She pointed at the gash on her forehead. ‘While I was stumbling around in the dark, I tripped and went head first into a tree. This will be completely healed soon.’ Lizzy paused and gazed at me. ‘I can’t die, Bruce, no matter what happens to me.’
~
I gaped. ‘What?! But … How …?’
Lizzy sighed and shook her head. ‘I wish I knew. I’ve asked myself that every day since I came back.’ She shivered and hugged me tighter. ‘God I’m so cold.’
‘You’d better take a hot bath and then get into bed. You feel like a block of ice.’
‘Yes, that’s a good idea and I’m suddenly feeling very self-conscious here.’ Lizzy nodded at her coat. ‘Think I’ll put that on.’
‘Oh, sorry. Should’ve thought of that. I’d get it for you, but … my hands.’
She glanced at them, her brow furrowed with concern. ‘You must be in so much pain.’
I nodded, then shrugged. ‘Could be worse.’
‘You went to hospital?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I’ve caused you so much trouble.’
I frowned. ‘No you haven’t.’
‘We’ll agree to disagree.’ Lizzy removed her arms from my waist. ‘Coat.’
She turned her back to me, put on the coat and when the zip was all the way up, turned to face me again. I’ll never understand women. I had gotten a long, good look at her, yet she felt the need to turn away when she was putting clothes on.
‘I’ll go and run a bath,’ she said. ‘Perhaps you should go back to bed, get some sleep.’
‘Like that’s gonna happen.’
Lizzy smiled. ‘Well at least try.’
She helped me upstairs and into bed, the gesture appreciated but at the same time making me feel like a decrepit old man, and then went into her bedroom. I heard the sound of her cleaning up the mess, remaking her bed, then the sound of water filling the tub. After that, there was a long period of silence, during which I stared into the darkness and tried to process what had just happened; tried to understand how she could be alive. Eventually, I heard the sound of the tub emptying followed by Lizzy moving around her room. A few minutes later, the landing light came on and Lizzy appeared in my doorway wrapped in a towel. The fiery orange-red glow had never left her eyes. Undetectable in day or artificial light, they seemed to come afire as darkness fell. Despite Lizzy being a gentle, loving soul, I still found it a little unnerving. Sometimes I wondered if I would ever get used to it.
‘You asleep?’ she whispered.
‘No.’
Lizzy stood there for a moment, then came to a decision. ‘Back in a mo.’
She returned wearing one of the Tom and Jerry pajama sets I had bought for her and stood beside the bed, looking down at me.
‘Would it be okay if I slept with you tonight?’
I stared at her, unable to believe my luck. Several ungentlemanly thoughts tumbled around inside my head and I did not attempt to push them away.
She smiled, reading me with ease. ‘Just sleep.’
Jeez, I thought, am I that transparent?
‘Okay.’
Lizzy climbed into bed and snuggled up to me, one hand resting on my stomach, face millimeters from mine. I could feel her warm breath against my neck. If she moved her hand a few inches south, she’d feel how hard I’d become. My God, I ached for her.
This is going to be a long, long night, I thought.
‘You’d better tell me everything,’ I said. ‘What happened after Gary brought you back.’
‘Don’t you want to try and get some sleep?’
‘I’m still getting my head around you being alive. Sleep is going to be a long time coming.’
‘Sorry about that.’
I gave her a look. ‘About being alive? Don’t be daft.’
She smiled. ‘Sorry about being daft.’
I groaned and Lizzy’s smile broadened.
‘Well, if you really want to know …’
‘I do.’
‘Okay. I first realized what I am - what Gary and Aritenkhede had created - when I tried to kill myself soon after coming back.’ Lizzy saw the look of shocked concern on my face and nodded. ‘Yeah. I found a piece of glass, sat down underneath a tree and slit my wrists. Gradually, I began to feel cold, dizzy and weak and then I passed out. Died I think. I came to hours later and to my astonishment, I couldn’t see any blood on or around me. Nothing. I’d have thought that I would have ruined my clothes, drenched them, but nope, there wasn’t a drop on me. It’s as if the blood I’d spilled had returned to my body. Then I checked my wrists, but there wasn’t a mark on them. The cuts had completely healed. I couldn’t believe it. I sat there for a moment, stunned, then I tried again. Exactly the same thing happened. The next time I woke up I was cold and hungry. I wandered around the forest in a daze, wondering where I could get some food. Eventually, I came across some campers. They had just arrived at a clearing and were pitching their tents. I watched them for a while, then when they wandered off, presumably to look around a bit before it got dark, I snuck in and stole some of their food. For a long time afterwards, I felt really guilty. It took a while for me to accept that I had no choice and that beating myself up wasn’t going to help.
‘I came back here, stole some of your food, stayed a while and then returned to the forest. A few days later, I came across a house, stole some more food, then saw a length of rope coiled up in a shed and took that, too. After eating what I thought would be my final meal, I made a noose, hung the rope over a branch and hung myself. I felt my neck snap, a brief moment of immense pain and then everything went black. I couldn’t believe it when I came to, again. I was just hanging there, choking. I wriggled around so much, the rope, which turned out to be pretty old, fina
lly snapped and I fell to the ground.
‘All in all, I’ve tried slitting my wrists, hanging, laying my head on the tracks and being decapitated by a train, drowning, stabbing myself in the heart and stealing a shotgun and blowing a hole through my stomach. When that didn’t work, I put the shotgun under my chin and took my head off. Oh, and I blew myself up once. Stole some dynamite, strapped a ton of it to my torso, legs, arms, anywhere I could, lit the fuses and then boom! vaporized myself. But of course, I came back the next day. Not even a trace of blood or gore on the ground or on any of the trees around me. So, none of them worked. I can literally blow myself into little pieces but somehow, they just come back together and I regenerate. It’s as if Death and the laws of nature have forgotten I exist. After that, I just gave up. Oh and I tried praying to God too, but he didn’t show up and take me to Heaven. I wasn’t impressed. Are you okay? You look pale.’
I nodded weakly. ‘It’s just …’ I found it difficult to speak, to find the right words, any words. ‘I’m finding it hard to accept what you’re telling me. It took me a long time to accept that Gary had brought you back and that you were real. Then he returned and killed you and I was trying to come to terms with that. Next thing I know you’re standing on my doorstep alive and well, and now you’re telling me that no matter what you do, you can’t die. My head’s swimming right now. I just can’t …’ I shook my head. ‘… take it in, y’know?’
‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘I’m not upset, I just need time for it to sink in, that’s all.’
‘It must be so hard for you.’
‘It is. And for you too.’
Lizzy nodded.
‘Do you think the entity intended it to be this way,’ I said, ‘that you being immortal is part of his punishment?’
‘Yes.’
‘I wonder …’
‘What?’
‘Would you get the grimoire for me?’
‘Do I have to? I really don’t want to touch that thing.’
‘Please.’
Lizzy sighed. ‘Okay.’
She got out of bed, padded into my study and returned with the grimoire.
‘Find the Resurrection of the Beloved ritual, will you?’
Lizzy grimaced. ‘Bruce, I-’
I gave her a look.
‘Okay okay.’
She helped me to sit up, then got back into bed, rested the grimoire on my legs and leafed through it until we came to the ritual.
There was a long silence while we read the text, then Lizzy said, ‘Your brother really was twisted, to do all of this.’
I nodded. ‘Turn over the page, will you?’
She did so.
‘There’s more information about the ritual that I didn’t read before,’ I said. ‘It basically says that the mage needs to be aware that if you go against the laws of nature and reverse death, then that’s it: whatever or whoever you bring back stays alive forever.’
‘Do you think he knew that?’
‘Gary?’
‘Yeah.’
‘I guess so. He says in his journal that he studied the ritual until he knew it by heart.’
‘I don’t want to live forever.’
‘It must feel like a curse.’
‘It does.’
‘Close it, will you?’
Lizzy closed the book and rested it against the side of the bed.
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ I said.
‘That I’m immortal?’
I nodded.
‘It’s not exactly something that one can easily slip into a conversation, is it? “So what do you want for dinner, Bruce? Lasagna or a stir fry? Oh and by the way, I’m immortal.”’
I laughed.
Lizzy frowned. ‘It’s not funny.’
‘I know, it’s just the way you put it.’
Her voice softened. ‘I’m glad I didn’t succeed in killing myself.’
‘Me too.’
She smiled. ‘Really?’
‘Really. Y’know, I was wrong in thinking that we’re safe here. We’re making it easy for the entity and Gary to find us. They’ll probably come back.’
‘I know, but he - the entity - will find me wherever I go. He always does.’
‘Oh.’
Lizzy fell silent, lost in her thoughts, then she said something that was completely unexpected.
‘I love you.’
I felt my heartbeat quicken. For a moment, I thought I’d misheard.
‘Did you just say …?’
‘Yes.’
‘You do?’
Lizzy nodded, amused by my incredulity. ‘Uh-huh. From when you first brought me back here I think, although I didn’t know it then. It’s been coming on so gradually. It was when you opened the door to me earlier tonight; I saw you and I just knew: I’m in love with Bruce.’
No woman has ever made me feel as happy as Lizzy did at that moment. Soft, silky warmth blossomed inside me, sinking through my muscles and deep into my bones like the gentle, golden rays from a spring sunset, the joyous warmth so intense, I felt light headed, weightless, as if I was floating on a pocket of warm air. In that moment, everything in my life suddenly felt different. Problems that had seemed impossible to work out now felt easy to solve. Things that I had craved no longer felt important. My fear of the entity and Aritenkhede disappeared. Even my hatred of Gary vanished. All external noises drifted away and at the same time the sound of us breathing, the movement of the sheets, my heartbeat, grew louder, my vision sharper, the colors richer.
I felt my lips spread into a wide smile. ‘I love you too.’
‘Really?’
‘Yup. Passionately.’
I kissed her and Lizzy kissed me back with a fervency that surprised and excited me.
Several minutes later, she said, ‘I’ve wanted to do that since you took me to Wickham.’
‘Yeah?’ Her admission was as unexpected as it was complimentary. ‘Then why didn’t you?’
‘As I said, I was wary. I didn’t know you and I’ve been fooled before, too many times.’
We lay there for hours, kissing and talking until we finally fell asleep, the alarm dragging us back into consciousness less than thirty minutes later.
I groaned, rolled over and blinked at the clock radio. ‘Crap.’
‘What?’ Lizzy said in a sleepy voice.
‘Heather is coming over at eight to feed the mutts and make me breakfast,’ I said as I turned back to her. ‘Then a nurse is coming over at nine.’
‘A nurse? Oh, to take a look at your burns, right?’
‘No, to give me a bath.’
Lizzy frowned. ‘Oh?’
‘Yeah. The dressings only need changing once a week and they do that at the burn unit.’
‘I’m not entirely comfortable with the thought of another woman seeing you naked.’
‘She’s a nurse.’
‘I suppose … Is she pretty?’
‘Only if you consider hippos attractive.’
Lizzy laughed. ‘God, you’re so rude.’
I shrugged and smiled.
‘Do you want me to take the pups for a walk while they’re here?’
‘No. We’d been talking about getting together with Jack, Heather and my friends anyway, remember?’
Lizzy nodded.
‘So now’s your chance to meet Heather.’
‘Will they ask a lot of questions?’
‘Heather might. She’s very protective. Jack will probably quiz you about work – you might want to think about that – and Tony and the guys will be inquisitive, but they’ll also be cool. You’ll like ‘em. As to the nurse, Naomi, I dunno. With any luck, she’ll just keep gushing about her goddamn boyfriend.’
‘You don’t need a nurse now. I can look after you.’
‘You sure?’
‘Uh-huh.’ Lizzy grinned. ‘And it’s my turn to see you naked.�
�
‘I’ve got no problem with that.’
Her grin widened. ‘Plus, it will save money and I treated a lot of burns during the war. And Heather won’t have to keep coming over. It would be daft to have her driving over every morning when I’m living here.’
‘True. And that could be your “job”, then: a nurse. However, I suggest that we don’t offer anything. Just answer questions as and when they come. We’ll only give a heavily edited version of the truth. They’re just not ready.’
‘Okay, makes sense. Shall we call Heather? Say she’s not needed?’
‘She’ll be halfway here by now.’
‘Oh.’
‘But I’ll call her anyway, if you could dial for me and put the phone on speaker.’
‘Okay.’
When Heather answered, I could hear the hum of an engine in the background.
‘Hey, Hon,’ she said. ‘How’re you feeling this morning?’
‘Sore.’
‘Get any sleep?’
‘Not much.’ I smiled wryly at Lizzy, who smiled back. ‘Have you heard any gossip about me in town, about me hooking up with someone?’
‘Yeah, I had. Is it true? Is that “someone” the hottie in the photos?’
‘Yup.’
I glanced at Lizzy. Heather’s choice of words had put an almost comical look of surprise on Lizzy’s face.
‘Thought so. But I kinda got the vibe yesterday that you’d parted ways.’
‘Um, yeah, she was … away for a while.’
‘Oh? She back now?’
‘Uh-huh. In fact, she’s right next to me.’
‘Cool, so I’ll meet her.’
I could hear the delight in Heather’s voice.
‘Yup. I’m guessing you haven’t had any breakfast.’
‘I had a cup of coffee,’ Heather said, sounding defensive.
‘That’s not breakfast. You’ll stay and have some with us.’
Heather laughed. ‘Yes, boss.’
‘Okay, see you in a few.’
‘Looking forward to it.’
We hung up and then Lizzy helped me out of bed and into my robe, then insisted on guiding me downstairs.
‘I’m not that decrepit,’ I said.
‘Are you able to grip the banister?’
‘No.’
‘So what will you do if you lose your footing?’
Black Rite Page 19