by Rimmy London
Before anyone could react I stood on my toes, kissing Givanni’s surprised mouth. But what I had planned to be a small peck seemed to linger, my feet pushing off the ground so that I could feel my lips firmly against his. Bringing my hands to his face, I felt my calves burn before finally lowering my heels to the ground. My heart raced like it would explode and I dropped my gaze to Givanni’s chest.
Abandoning our argument, Emilio and Adriano both retreated into the house. Givanni spun me around. Hesitating for a moment, I finally looked into his eyes. With a grin wide enough to show the perfectly placed creases on his face, his shoulders lifted once in a quiet laugh.
“Loriel, you didn’t have to do that.” I felt my heart sink. He thought it was all an act. Arguing with myself, I reasoned that it, in fact, was an act. But the way my hands were still shaking I found it discouraging that he didn’t seem to have any reaction at all. “They would have believed you anyway. And even if they didn’t believe you, they would have dropped it eventually.” His teasing smile hung there, suspended for a moment. All I could think of was what shade of rouge my face was possibly turning, and how I could explain this in a way that didn’t have me confessing my ridiculous crush on him. I didn’t notice the way his smile softened, or how his eyes studied every corner of my face. But when he touched my arms I nearly jumped… nearly. Instead, I settled into his speculative gaze like a warm blanket on a cold day. He whispered like it was something forbidden. “So, why exactly did you -”
A thump on the door behind us had him straightening like he’d been shocked, and I turned as well. The sound of Emilio’s laughter was something I already knew well. It bellowed through the house. Givanni looked at the ground for a moment, and after an awkward silence, we continued up the steps, with some small piece of me wishing he’d finished that question.
Inside the house, it was all excitement. Givanni caught sight of Zoe and smiled. “Sei bellisima!” he gushed, leaving her with pink cheeks. Draped in flowing whites, sheers, and something that shimmered like crushed diamonds, I thought that beautiful hardly described it. With her dark hair and rich skin that was now almost glowing with the tint of rouge in it, she looked like royalty. I walked forward, smiling back at all her brilliance.
“He’s right, Zoe, you look incredible.”
Her eyes lit up at the sight of me. “Ah, Loriel!” With the pleasant swishing and crinkling of fabric, she rushed toward me, reaching for both my hands and holding them up in front of us. “You are the one I need right now!” I glanced at Givanni. Lounging on the couch next to Oriana, he just winked. “How could I stand all of this confusion without a sister to share it with?” She hugged me tightly. I attempted to hug her back without touching any of the shimmering fabric wrapped around her tiny frame.
“Is there something - wrong?” I asked, doubting that it could possibly have to do with her dress. It was perfection. She pouted her lip and turned to Oriana, taking the pile of fabrics that was given to her. Oriana leaned to the side.
“My dear Loriel, this is a problem of the utmost gravity.” The smile crinkling her eyes made it clear she was teasing. With the bundle still cumbering her arm, Zoe put her hands on her hips.
“But it is, of course, a problem!” Taking my hand again, she glanced at the others before towing me out of the room. “Come with me, Ella.” I tried to avoid stepping on any of the flowing bundles bouncing along with us. Her excitement was contagious as she led me to a pale yellow room bathed in light, coming to rest in front of a mirror so grand it reached almost to the ceiling. Twirling once, she lifted the bundles and let them fall around her in a flourish. She draped the fabrics over the back of a nearby chair and pulled one up, bringing it to rest at the back of her head. “What do you think?” she asked nervously, looking even more beautiful in her confusion.
I held my hand out. “May I?” She handed me the veil. Pulling at the ends, I straightened the thin silky lengths, sweeping it into the air and letting it settle once again on her head. Stepping back, I watched her expression, not seeing the magic I was looking for. “Let’s try the next one.” Before she could respond, I reached for a veil scattered with lace. Performing the same routine, I stood in front of her until I had arranged the fabric delicately around her and stepped back again. She tilted her head, considering, with her mouth twisted into an almost smile. “One more try,” I murmured as I reached for the last material draped across the chair. This one had more promise, and I made sure to block her view while I pinned the intricate fabric into place. With the material softly crimped at the top and tumbling down her shoulders in disarray, it captured the sunlight. I smiled before stepping away, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Her at first stunned face lit up, brightening to match her gown.
“Looks like that’s the one.” We spun around at the comment. Givanni smiled from the doorway. “It fits you, Zo,” he said, and with that, he headed back down the hall. Swishing to a nearby chair, Zoe sat down in a pile of white, her shoulders almost lost in folds of satin.
“Givanni has been a good brother Loriel,” she said in a gust. A little surprised, I nodded my head.
“I know he is, Zoe. I admire him more than he realizes.” I left it at that, knowing she probably wanted me to expound. Her eyes said as much, staying fixed on me until finally scanning the room, resigned to my silence.
“There’s just something about him that’s not quite right lately,” she continued. My stomach turned, but I avoided looking at her, choosing instead to take my time in selecting a chair. “He is not…” I glanced back at her and saw her usually smooth skin pinched together at her brow as she searched for the words. “I guess I don’t know, I just can’t explain it… but can I give you an example? Maybe that will help.”
Her question seemed so hesitant that it did nothing to calm my nerves. “Sure, what’s wrong?” I asked. She paused, shaking her head a little.
“Well, nothing is wrong, really. It’s just that - I know my brother. And when a girl that he loves as deeply as he is in love with you…” I suppressed the urge to object, knowing that would hardly calm her troubled head. “When she would, let’s say, kiss him…” My smile was more like a flinch, except for the fact that it stayed frozen on my face as she continued. “He would not stand there like a sentinel, frozen in place with his arms pasted to his sides!”
Her face was completely mocking, her arms sinking into the billows of white as she attempted to imitate her description. Although I knew she was frustrated I couldn’t help but laugh, her posture matching what Givanni’s had been remarkably well. Her face fell, and I swallowed the next giggle as she looked at me with sympathetic eyes. “But do you not agree, Loriel? I’m sure you know by now that he is one to hide his feelings. Why would he not? The way things went with Enrica, it’s amazing that he ever opened up again. But… he knows you. You are in love. Why would he…? ” She shook her head, concern seeping into her expression with each passing second. Her face showed it all, looking right through me. She could see that I loved him. Sitting back in my chair, the temptation to tell her everything at that very moment was stronger than I would have liked.
“He does show it, Zoe…” I started. She didn’t let me continue.
“And what about our dinner party?” Now it was impossible to stop the groan that slipped from my mouth. “What does he mean by dancing with his past girlfriend? How could he do that to you? It makes no sense, and I don’t understand it! That is not my brother, Loriel!”
I motioned for her to quiet her voice, knowing that now it could clearly be heard through the halls. She nodded at me, irritated. “It is no secret how I feel about that night,” she huffed. But her frustration slowly eased. “But when I talked to you after the dancing was over and Givanni had left you alone…” I mashed my teeth together, thinking that her description was hardly necessary. “You told me it was okay.” She waited for me to nod. “How is it possible that something like that would be okay?” I ran one hand across my forehead, knowing that any r
esponse would have to be tangled with the truth if it were to make any sense. Blowing out a deep breath, I looked up to see her perched on the edge of her chair, a few billows of white having fallen to the ground.
“I did tell you it was okay, and I want you to believe me when I tell you again that it really is okay, Zoe. Givanni…” Her face was scrunched together endearingly as she waited. I smiled. “Well, he explained things to me, and you need to know a few details about that night.” Glancing at the hall, I quieted my voice. “For one, Givanni is not in love with Enrica.” Even though saying her name was a little devastating, I wanted to get it over with. “Another thing is that while he is out here to attend your wedding,” I paused, making sure to word it carefully. “He is also out here for something else.”
Although her face still looked confused she nodded a fraction, waiting for me to continue. “There’s something of a… puzzle that he is trying to piece together while he is here. And it has taken a lot more out of him than he expected. It is more complicated, I think, than what he had planned for.”
Finally, her eyebrows raised and she looked considerably relieved, her hand running along one side of the veil appreciatively. She stood, turning toward the mirror and smoothing out the invisible wrinkles in her priceless gown. “Thank you, Loriel. Even though I had no right to ask you what I did.” I shook my head, thinking that she had every right to ask about her brother. “But if I am to hope someday to call you my sister…” My eyes widened. “Then I would like to have my Givanni worshiping the ground you walk on.” Feeling a little color in my cheeks, I simply smiled back. “And he will, I am sure,” she finished.
As we returned to the front room, Oriana jumped from her seat, pouring out such beautiful Italian that it could only be flattery. For a moment, I looked at the aunt and niece in front of me, their relationship like mother and daughter, with their hands intertwined and faces lit up. My heart sunk at the thought of Zoe’s words still fresh in my mind, and I doubted I would ever experience a moment like theirs. My own mother was only a memory, and although my father was devoted and kind... it just wasn’t the same.
I had never wanted something so much than I did right then. My eyes filled with tears as I stared back longingly, feeling a million miles away. There was no way to tell what they would think if they ever found out this relationship with Givanni was a lie. As I turned around I was met with Givanni’s eyes, watching from the back of the room. His smile fell at the sight of me. Not bothering to cover my discouragement, I dropped my gaze, walking forward and not planning to stop until I reached the security of a confined room. Taking my arm he fell into step beside me, calling over his shoulder.
“Good night, you two,” he called. There were murmurs of reply, although quiet and distracted. He glanced now and then at my tear-stained face. Something that was happening far too often lately. I somehow didn’t care, not feeling the need to swallow my feelings. In fact, there wasn’t much going on in my head, just the image of Zoe and Oriana frozen in my mind. There suddenly seemed to be something very wrong with this whole charade. Like maybe the fact that Givanni’s sister was planning our wedding even as she prepared for hers. Holding the door open for me, Givanni still seemed to be at a loss for words as he closed it behind us.
“I’m sorry, Loriel - I…”
“You don’t need to apologize, Givanni.” I leaned against the doorframe, rubbing my hand along my arm. “It’s not anything that can be changed. I guess there has just been a lot going on today and…” I swallowed, and a tear trailed down my cheek. “It just gets to me sometimes, you know, pretending like this.” I failed to mention the tangled confusion of emotions battling in my head, leaving me in a frustrated stupor when it came to my feelings for him. “What will they think when they find out?” Givanni seemed to be considerably relieved to hear what had been on my mind.
“Now that Loriel is something you shouldn’t worry about for one second.” He tilted my chin up so that I was looking him in the eyes, brushing his hand along my jawline - more affectionate than I was used to. “They love you already, and when they find out what you went through to help me while I was here, they will put you up on a pedestal.” Clearly hearing Zoe’s laughter from downstairs, I felt my stomach twist again.
“But did you hear Zoe?” I asked. He crossed his arms in front of him, looking down at the floor. I was sure he’d heard her.
“I did,” he answered. Pausing, he looked deep into my eyes as he continued. “I heard that she wasn’t very happy with my behavior at her wedding dinner, but this I already knew.” Still peering into my soul he spoke more softly, seeming to realize that I wasn’t referring to her anger with him. “What else did she say?”
I swallowed, wishing I had left well enough alone. “She…well…” I took a deep breath, plunging ahead. “She thinks we’re getting married, Givanni.”
“Ah,” he replied, his hand leaving my arm as he rubbed it across his face. Shaking his head, he looked back at me with the hint of a grin on his lips. “She’s getting married, Loriel. It’s probably just that she’s so happy she wants to see us happy as well. Clearly, from her perspective, we’ve got some problems.” We both broke into laughter, and I hoped he was right. Givanni looked suddenly irritated. “Sentinel… please,” he mumbled under his breath.
“I didn’t realize you had heard that much,” I laughed, the tension in my heart easing. With a sigh, I closed my eyes and suddenly remembered Givanni’s relief in my topic. I looked back at him with a new inquisition. He recognized the change immediately.
“Yes?” he asked.
“You seemed to think…” I fumbled with the words, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes. “When we came up here - that I was upset about something else?” Not sure how to finish my question I let it trail off, watching his chin lift slightly. He took his time, drawing a deep breath as his eyes wandered the room. I stared back with a completely blank slate, having no idea where he would take this query. Finally, he turned back, looking too serious. I thought about waving it off, telling him it didn’t matter, but as I waited through more silence my stomach twisted with impatience.
“Well, there was something that came to mind,” he said. Shifting his weight, he rubbed his hands together before his eyes locked onto mine. “When you kissed me…” I immediately wished I had left well enough alone. He dropped his head, one hand sweeping through his hair. “Well, I just felt...” he shifted his weight again. “It seemed like you weren’t…” Although I knew I should end his suffering and stop our conversation in its tracks, preferably laughing it all off, I seemed incapable of a response. He straightened up, whispering, although there was no need to in our confined room. “Was it all just pretend, Loriel?” His face had come so close that I did nothing but stare back silently, somewhat terrified. Here was my chance to tell him what I was feeling. But I hardly knew myself - how could I just blurt out a decision when I was still spinning in confusion? Without waiting for my response his hands touched my face, his head tilting and lips grazing mine. I stepped back, pulling in a shaking breath.
“Wait…” I breathed, the shock taking a minute to clear. He pulled his hands from mine, looking amazing as the color in his face deepened.
“Forgive me, Loriel,” He took a step back. “That was completely out of line, I was just... mistaken, I’m sorry.” I shook my head, meaning to explain myself at least a little, but he didn’t let me. “There’s really no excuse for that, here you come all this way and act completely professional, and I just…” One hand assailed his dark hair again, and I found myself admiring him more than ever.
“Givanni, I haven’t always acted…”
“I’ve just been… things got twisted around, Loriel. I’m sorry, really I am.” His posture had straightened out, the perfect features of his face hardening as he spun on one heel, wrenched the door open and escaped, leaving me breathless and pale in his wake.
Chapter 15
A bundle of white roses lay on the edge of my bed, the
ir perfectly pure buds just beginning to open. The dark green stems, smooth and long, were wrapped with gold ribbon. A small card hung from one end. Lifting it up, I read the hastily scrawled inscription.
Can we still be friends?
-Givanni
A smile pulled at my mouth, widening as I brought the roses to my face and inhaled. Still, in pajamas, I took the stairs down and wondered if the absolute silence meant it was too early to be up. I padded softly to the center of the room with my eyes transfixed on the hillside view, the scene taking in miles of country. “Well, can we?” Givanni asked. I spun around to find him on the couch. Although they looked clouded with sleep, his eyes were following me. He smiled lazily. I sat on the shaggy rug next to him.
“Of course we can,” I answered. His smile stretched out before he leaned back onto the small throw pillow, his eyes closing like a vault. Guilt fluttered in my stomach and I tapped his arm. His eyes flew open. “Why don’t you go upstairs and take the bed? I’m wide awake anyway.” Although he nodded, his body stayed immobile, his eyes closing again almost before I had finished the question. “Fine then,” I whispered, leaning my head against the cushion and admiring the sunrise as it slowly illuminated the world outside.
“Zoe won’t let anyone sleep in anyway,” he mumbled, his eyes still closed. “Not today.” I glanced around the empty house, thinking he could probably sleep for another two hours before anyone stirred.
“What does she have planned?” I asked before suddenly remembering that Givanni was supposed to be gone today. “Wait, aren’t you going somewhere? I mean, aren’t we going somewhere?” He didn’t stir, and I thought of nudging him, my former sympathies for his lack of sleep fading. He shifted a fraction.