by Nora Roberts
could go no further.
Every few minutes the phone would ring. She would hear the machine click on, and Paul’s voice would inform the caller that no one was available. Interspersed with the reporters were the concerned. CeeCee, Nina, Victor. God, Victor. When she heard his voice, she shut her eyes. Did he know? Did he suspect? What could they possibly say to each other now that wouldn’t cause more pain?
She wished Paul would get back. She wished he would take longer so that she could just be alone. He had told her only that he’d had things to do. He hadn’t told her what they were, and she hadn’t asked.
He’d driven Brandon to school himself.
Brandon. She had to make arrangements for Brandon.
When the phone rang again, she continued to ignore it. But it was the urgency in the voice that had her listening, then recognizing, then staring.
“Julia, please, call me as soon as possible. I’ve canceled my appointments for the day and arranged to stay home. I just heard, on the news, this morning. Please get back to me. I can’t tell you how … Just call. The number here is …”
Slowly, hardly aware she had risen and crossed the room, she lifted the receiver. “Lincoln. It’s Julia.”
“Oh, thank God. I wasn’t even sure they’d given me the right number. I pulled all the strings I could manage at L.A.P.D.”
“Why are you calling me at all?”
It wasn’t bitterness he heard, but puzzlement. It made the shame almost unbearable. “Because you’re about to face a murder trial. I can’t believe it, Julia. Can’t believe they have enough evidence for trial.”
His voice was the same, she realized. Neat and precise. For reasons she couldn’t fathom, she wondered if he still had his underwear pressed. “They seem to think they do. I was there. My fingerprints are on the weapon. I’d threatened her.”
“Jesus Christ.” He ran a hand through his smooth blond hair. “Who’s representing you?”
“Greenburg. He was Eve’s lawyer. Actually he’s looking for someone else. He doesn’t practice criminal law.”
“Listen to me, Julia. Don’t speak to anyone. Do you hear me? Don’t speak to anyone.”
She nearly smiled. “Shall I hang up, then?”
He’d never understood her humor and plunged straight on. “I’m going to get the first plane out I can. I’m a member of the California Bar, so there’s no problem. Now, give me the address where you’re staying.”
“Why? Why would you come here, Lincoln?”
He was already formulating his reasons and excuses to his wife, to his colleagues, to the press. “I owe you,” he said tightly.
“No. You don’t owe me anything.” She was holding the phone with both hands now. “Do you realize, does it even occur to you that you haven’t asked about him? You haven’t even asked about him.”
In the silence that followed, she heard the door close. Turning, she saw Paul watching her.
“Julia.” Lincoln’s voice was quiet, utterly reasonable. “I want to help you. Whatever you think of me, you know I’m the best. Let me do this for you. And for the boy.”
The boy, she thought. He couldn’t even say Brandon’s name. She rested her head in her hand a moment, struggling to get beyond emotion. Lincoln had said one thing that was perfectly true. He was the best. She couldn’t afford to let pride stand in the way of freedom.
“I’m in Malibu,” she said, and gave him the address. “Good-bye, Lincoln. Thank you.”
Paul said nothing, waited. He didn’t know what he felt. No, he thought, he did. When he had walked in and realized who was on the phone it had felt exactly like being shot. Now he was bleeding inside.
“You heard,” she began.
“Yes, I heard. I thought we agreed you wouldn’t answer the phone.”
“I’m sorry. I had to.”
“Naturally.” He rocked back on his heels. “He ignores you for ten years, but you had to answer his call.”
Unconsciously she rubbed a hand on her stomach where the muscles were beginning to knot. “Paul, he’s a lawyer.”
“So I’ve heard.” He walked to the bar but thought it best to stick with mineral water. A drink now would be like tossing gasoline onto a fire. “And of course he’s the only lawyer in the country who’s qualified to take your case. He’s going to streak out here on his silver briefcase and save you from the clutches of injustice.”
“I can’t afford to turn down help from any quarter it’s offered.” She pressed her lips together, needing to keep her voice calm. There was a terrible urge gnawing inside her to rush past him and fling open the door. “Maybe you’d think more of me if I’d spit in his eye. Maybe I’d think more of myself too. But if they send me to jail, I’m not sure I’ll survive it. And I’m afraid, I’m very afraid for Brandon.”
He set his glass aside before he crossed to her. His hands were gentle as they skimmed up and down her arms. “Tell you what, Jules. We’ll let him work his legal magic. And when it’s all over, we’ll both spit in his eye.”
She wrapped her arms around him, pressing her cheek to his. “I love you.”
“It’s about time you mentioned that again.” He tipped her face up to kiss her, then drew her toward the couch. “Now, sit down while I tell you what I’ve been up to.”
“Up to?” She tried on a smile, wondering if they could possibly have a normal conversation.
“Playing detective. What mystery writer isn’t a frustrated detective? Have you eaten?”
“What? Paul, you’re jumping subjects.”
“I’ve decided we’re going to talk in the kitchen. Over food.” He rose, grabbing her hand and pulling her behind him. “It’s distracting watching you drop pounds while I’m talking. I think Brandon left some peanut butter.”
“I’m going to have a peanut butter sandwich?”
“And jelly,” he told her as he took out a jar of Skippy. “Listen, it’s loaded with protein.”
She didn’t have the heart to tell him she wasn’t hungry. “I’ll fix them.”
“They’re my speciality,” he reminded her. “Sit down. When I’m facing a murder charge, you can pamper me.”
Now she did manage to smile. “It’s a deal.” She watched him slather the bread, wondering if he remembered that first morning he’d met Eve. With a little sigh, she looked past him, to the jade plant on the windowsill. Did he realize that it had been dying when she and Brandon had moved in? A little water, a little plant food, and it was thriving again. It took so very little to sustain life.
She smiled again at the plate he set in front of her. Like peanut butter and jelly, and someone to love.
“You didn’t cut it into triangles.”
He lifted a brow. “Real men don’t eat cut sandwiches. It’s wussy.”
“Thank God you told me, or I might have continued to cut Brandon’s and humiliate him.” When she picked it up, jelly squirted cheerfully out the sides. “So, how have you been playing detective.”
“What we call legwork.” As he sat, he reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear. “I talked to Jack, the pilot. He’ll swear that in his expert opinion, the fuel line was tampered with. It may not be much, but it could prove that something was going on, something outside, threatening you. Maybe Eve as well.”
She made herself eat, made herself hope. “All right. I think it could be very important to convince the police that someone was sending threats—because of the book. The tapes. I don’t understand why if they’ve listened to the tapes they can think I …” She shook her head. “No way to prove anyone but myself and Eve knew what was on them.”
“The phrase is reasonable doubt. That’s all we need. I went to see Travers,” he added. Here, while he wanted to be honest, he also wanted to chose his words with care. “She’s still a wreck, Jules. She’d wrapped her whole life around Eve—what Eve had done for her, for her son.”
“And Travers believes I killed her.”
He stood to get them both something to dri
nk. Chablis was the first that came to hand, and he figured it would go just fine with peanut butter. “At this point she needs to blame someone. She wants that someone to be you. The thing about Travers is that very little could go on in that house without her being aware. The fact that Eve could have kept her illness from everyone, including Travers, is only a testament to Eve’s skill and determination. Someone else was on the estate that day. Someone else was in the guest house. Travers is our best bet for finding out who.”
“I only wish … I wish she could understand that I didn’t mean the things I said that night.” Her voice thickened as she picked up her glass, set it down again without drinking.
“That I never wanted that to be Eve’s last memory of me. Or mine of her. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life, Paul.”
“That would be a mistake.” He put a hand over hers, squeezed it lightly. “She brought you out here so that each of you could get to know the whole person. Not by one incident, a few hot words. Julia, I went to see her doctor.”
“Paul.” She linked her fingers with his. At the moment every touch, every point of contact seemed so precious. “You shouldn’t have done that alone.”
“It was something I wanted to do alone. She was diagnosed right after Thanksgiving last year. At the time, she had told us she wasn’t in the mood for turkey or pumpkin pie and was going off for a week or two to the Golden Door to be pampered and revitalized.” He paused here to battle his own emotions. “She checked into the hospital for the tests. Apparently, she’d been having headaches, blurred vision, mood swings. The tumor was … well, to put it simply, it was too late. They could give her medication to take the edge off the pain. She could go on normally. But they couldn’t cure it.”
His eyes flicked up to hers. In them she could see the dark, depthless well of grief.
“They couldn’t stop it. She was told she had a year at best. She went directly from there to a specialist in Hamburg. More tests, the same result. She must have made her mind up about what she was going to do right away. It was early December when she told Maggie and me about the book. About you. She wanted to finish out her life, and keep those she loved from knowing how little time she had.
Julia looked toward the little jade plant, thriving in its patch of sun. “She didn’t deserve to be robbed of what was left.”
“No.” He drank, a silent toast. Another good-bye. “And she’d be bloody pissed if whoever killed her got away. I’m not going to let that happen.” He touched his glass to Julia’s in a show of partnership that made her throat sting. “Drink your wine,” he told her. “It’s good for the soul. And it’ll relax you so it’s easier for me to seduce you.”
She blinked back the tears. “Peanut butter and jelly, and sex, in one afternoon. I don’t know if I can take it.”
“Let’s check it out,” he said, and pulled her to her feet.
He hoped she would sleep for an hour or two, and left her in the bedroom with the shades drawn against the sun, the ceiling fan spinning away the heat.
Like most storytellers, Paul could formulate a plot anywhere—in the car, waiting in the dentist’s office, at a cocktail party. But he had found over the years that his best structuring was done in his office.
He’d set up the room as he’d set up his home. To suit himself. The airy space on the second floor was where he spent most of his time. One wall was all glass, all sky and sea. Those who didn’t understand the process didn’t believe he could be working when he simply sat, staring out, watching the change in light and shadow, the swoop of laughing gulls.
To compensate for the discomfort of tearing a story out of his head and heart, Paul had made his working space a celebration of comfort. The side walls were lined with books. Some for research, some for pleasure. Twin ficus trees thrived in heavy stone pots. One year Eve had invaded his inner sanctum and had hung tiny red and green balls on their slim branches to remind him that deadline or not, Christmas would come.
He’d embraced the computer age, and worked on a clever little PC. And still scribbled notes on odd scraps of paper he often lost. He’d had a top of the line stereo hooked up, certain he would enjoy composing with a background of Mozart or Gershwin. It had taken him less than a week to admit that he detested the distraction. He kept a small refrigerator stocked with soft drinks and beer. When he was on a roll, it might be eighteen hours before he’d open the door and stumble bleary-eyed out of the office, and into reality.
So it was there he went to think of Julia, and the puzzle of proving her innocence.
He sat in his chair, tipped back, and cleared his mind by staring at the sky.
If he were searching for a plot, an ordinary one, she would be the perfect murderer. Calm, collected, and wrapped much too tightly. Reserved. Repressed. Resistant to change. Eve had come along and exploded the tidy, ordered life she had built for herself. The seething temper had ripped its way through that snug outer layer of control, and in a blind moment of rage and despair, she had struck out.
The prosecution might play it that way, he thought. Tossing in several millions in inheritance for extra incentive. Of course, it would be difficult for them to prove that Julia had known about the will. Yet, it might not be so difficult to convince a jury—if it went to a jury—that Julia had been in Eve’s confidence.
The aging and ailing movie queen searching for a lost past, the love of a child she’d given up. They could cast Eve as the vulnerable victim, facing her illness bravely and alone and desperately seeking to bond with her daughter.
Eve would sneer and call it crap.
Matricide, he mused. A very ugly crime. And he thought the D.A. would settle very happily for murder two.
He lighted a cigar, closed his eyes, and ran through his mind the reason the scene didn’t work.
Julia was incapable of murder. That was, of course, his opinion, and hardly an adequate defense. Better to focus on outside forces and basic facts than his own emotions.
The notes. They were a fact. He had been with Julia when she had received one. There had been no feigning that shock and fear. The prosecution might argue that she was the daughter of an actress, and had once aspired to the stage herself. But he doubted even Eve could have delivered a performance like that cold.
The plane had been tampered with. Could anyone seriously believe she would have risked her life, risked making her child an orphan, just for effect?
The tapes. He had listened to the tapes, and they were volatile. Which secret would have been worth Eve’s life?
There was no doubt in Paul’s mind that she had died to preserve a lie.
Gloria’s abortion. Kincade’s perversions. Torrent’s ambitions. Priest’s greed.
Delrickio. With all his heart Paul wanted to believe Delrickio had been responsible. But he couldn’t make the pieces fit. Could a man who so coolly dealt out death lose control and kill so recklessly?
It had almost certainly been a crime born of the moment. Whoever had done it couldn’t have been sure when Julia would return, or if the gardener might have passed by a window on his way to prune roses.
That didn’t account for the security. No one but the staff had been inside the gates. And yet, someone had come in.
Paul asked himself what he would do if he’d wanted to confront Eve, alone, without anyone knowing. It wouldn’t have been difficult to visit openly, then leave, making a quick trip to shut off the power on the alarms. Double back. Face her down. Lose control.
He liked it. He liked it very much, except for the minor fact that the alarms had been on when the police had checked them.
So he would talk to Travers again, and Nina, and Lyle. And everyone else, down to the lowliest dust chaser on the estate.
He had to prove that someone could have gotten inside. Someone frightened enough to send notes. Someone desperate enough to kill.
On impulse he picked up the phone and dialed. “Nina. It’s Paul.”
“Oh, Paul. Travers said you’d been by. I’m s
orry I missed you.” She glanced around her office, at the cardboard boxes she was meticulously packing. “I’m in the process of putting things in order, moving my own things out. I’m renting a house in the Hills until … well, until I can think what to do next.”
“You know you can stay as long as you like.”
“I appreciate that.” She groped in her pocket for a tissue. “I’m worried about Travers, but I can’t bear staying, knowing Miss B. won’t come flying in with some new impossible demand. Oh, God, Paul, why did this have to happen?”
“That’s something we need to figure out. Nina, I know the police have questioned you.”
“Over and over,” she said with a sigh. “And now the D.A. He seems certain I’ll have to testify in court, about the argument. About Julia.”
He heard the way her voice changed, tightened. “You think she did it, don’t you?”
She looked down at the tattered tissue, tossed it away and picked up a fresh one. “I’m sorry, Paul, I understand you have feelings for her. But yes, I don’t see any other explanation. I don’t think she planned it. I don’t even think she meant it. But it happened.”
“Whatever you think, Nina, you may be able to help me. I’m